On the last days of that term, our class had a farewell party. It was the last chance everyone could be together before entering High school.

          Sulli passed the exam and she would learn at SM- Seoul High school. That meant it was also the last time I could see her, too.

          Everybody looked so excited, they wished good luck to each other, they hugged and took pictures together. Onew, Krystal and Luna sent their wishes to me, too. They treated me really well…

          I was sitting at the corner of our classroom watching her. She was standing over there, talking with some girls. She had a memory notebook to collect her friends’ addresses. Certainly, no one could deny her request when she asked them write down their information on it.

          I saw she come to one by one in class, smiled and talked to them. What was I waiting for? She wasn’t close to me so it would be weird if she asked me, right.

          I sighed, after 2 hours sitting and watching her, I knew I shouldn’t hope too much. I stood up and grabbed my bag. It would be less hurt if I came back home and didn’t look at her anymore. If fate didn’t want us together, I should accept the truth, it was the better way for me.

          When I took the first step at the door, I heard someone called me behind my back: “Taemin!”.

          I turned around, it was Sulli…

I couldn’t say anything, my both eyes opened wider than ever, I wondered what did she want?

“Ah … Uhm… I … I want to ask you something?”

“W-What?”

“Can you write some lines for me?” She took out her notebook toward me.

“I had everybody’s signs. You was the only one I hadn’t ”.

“ Ah …”.- I still didn’t believe in my ears.

“If … If you don’t want … It’s ok…”.

She said with a little sad in her eyes.

“Oh, no. I will … Let me take it!”.

“Thank you” – She smiled. Ah! My heart stopped when I saw that beautiful smile- the most gorgeous smile I’d ever seen.

After all, Sulli was the most friendly person among whole class, even she wasn’t close to me but still treated me like a “classmate”.

          I hold her notebook in my hands, didn’t know what to write. I wanted to say so many things but when I got a chance, my mind couldn’t guide me. Finally, I just dare to write some simple sentences….

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          I wanted to give back the book in hands but she was too busy with her friends.

“Sulli! I’m done, I will let your notebook at here”. I said loud but she seemed didn’t heard me.

Ah, I thought I shouldn’t bother her more…

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I left the notebook on the table and went out of the room. Then I realized I forgot my pen beside the notebook. It was a present from my grandfather, he made it by himself and it was the most precious thing of mine. He even carved the words “ To my precious Taemin” on it. I pretended to turn back but a thought appeared in my mind : “No, I shouldn’t take it back. It will help me to have a right reason to see her. After this day, she’ll move to Seoul, I won’t have any chance to meet her again. If she still keeps my pen, then I will have a fake reason to see her. Yeah! ”. Then I heard she calling me behind, maybe she saw the pen and wanted to give it back to me. I didn’t want to let her catch up, to give back that pen so I run away.

          After 3 times she called my name, I didn’t hear her voice anymore. Maybe I run really fast. I was sure she wouldn’t threw my pen away. If she read the words on it, she would know it was a special pen, with a carefully person like her, she wouldn’t threw it.

          Ah, my last chance…

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          Now I was in my senior year of High school. I guess you’ll wonder what did I do in those 3 years. Did I contact her yet ?

Let me tell you my story through that period of time.

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          The 1st year, Sulli’s family moved to Seoul. She seemed learnt really well at high school. She even had some small characters in some daily dramas. That kind of film wasn’t my taste, but because of her, I watched them and didn’t miss any episodes. My mom was really surprised, she though I had some thing wrong in my brain^^.

          My parent owned a small flower shop, every week my dad will deliver flowers to some flower shops in Seoul.

 I didn’t know any information about Sulli, no address, no phone number, I just knew she was learning at SM Seoul.

I wasn’t close to many people so find her address was impossible.

Luckily, one day a woman who was my parent’s client for a long time, she came to visited my mom. She told many thing about her business. ( She own a flower-shop in Seoul, too). Then she talked about one girl who was working par-time at her place. When hearing her describing about that girl, I realized she had many things similar to Sulli. So I asked the woman the girl’s name. my heart thumped so fast when I heard the name “SULLI” spoken out from my mom’s friend. Finally, I could got a phone number, even it wasn’t hers, but at least it was place’s phone number where she was working at.

I didn’t remember how many times I picked up the phone then hung up again when I wanted to called. I was really scared, what should I say? I didn’t see her for a long time. Did she still remember who I am. Did she still keep my pen? Or It was lost? Or she forgot me – the least close classmate of hers.

On her birthday, I wanted to say “happy birthday” to her, but it would be a silly thing when she knew who’s talking to her so I didn’t say anything.

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In 3 years, I called 3 times on her birthdays. But every time I heard her voice, my heart seemed stop right away. So at the end, I hung up the phone. Why was I so weak like that? I myself didn’t even know why.

Sometimes I thought I was really stupid. She would become a famous actress one day, how could she love me? – a loser, who even couldn’t take a train to Seoul to meet her.

Actually, sometimes when my dad delivered flowers to that shop, I asked him to go along. My dad didn’t really wanted to let me go because city wasn’t right place for me. Did you remember my sickness? Yeah, it always made me fell bad when I went to Seoul because of crews.

I didn’t meet her many times. I just could see her 3 times. And I was always sitting in the van when I saw her. She was clearing the door or talking with costumers. After just a short time but she changed so much in good ways. She became a beautiful girl, she was higher and her hair was longer. The one thing didn’t change was her smile. It still shone as a sunflower.

I wanted to get out the car and run to her but every time I opened the door, a fear came to my mind. The feeling of scaring crew made me sick. My hurt thumped fast and my head was in pain. Sulli would shock if she’d seen me in that attitude. I didn’t want to make her scare again. So I just sit on the car and didn’t get out…

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All my best friends moved to Seoul, too. They were talent boys, I’m really happy when they gained what they wanted. Even I didn’t call them frequently but they still saw me like their best friend. At weekend, they usually came back to visit me. Sometimes each of them, sometimes were Key and Jonhyun or all. When they couldn’t come because of their exams, they usually sent me letters.

On my birthdays, my home always was full of their gifts. They sent me postcards on special events, too. Sometimes they were really funny, they event forgot writing on the postcards so I didn’t know who was the one sent them. Key was the most strangerone. On my birthday he usually sent me some colorful postcards written nothing. I knew it was him because he was the only one among them who had style like a girl. His postcards weren’t suit to be a gift for a boy at all. They were some pictures about flowers, dolls or even children. Sometimes I wanted to ask him why he did that but I didn’t. Because I knew he would angry, he hated people say that he looks like a girl^^.

BTW, I love them so much…

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At present

After 3 times I couldn’t succeeded in calling Sulli. Now I was sitting there and starring at my phone. I have just known that today is the last day Sulli works at that shop. She was busy with a new film project so she had to quit her part-time jobs. It means that if I don’t call her now then I’ll never have another chance anymore.

Taking a deep breath, I clicked the call - button…

Riing.. Riing…. 

“NaMi flower-shop hearing!” – the shop owner said

“hello, Could I meet Sulli, please Miss”

“Oh, sure. Hold on a sec!”

“Alo! It’s Sulli! Who are you?”

“….”

“Hey, it’s me. Do you hear me?”

“…”

“Yah, if you don’t say anything, I’ll hang up.”

“………”

“Yah, it’s not funny at all. Are you the one who always called on my birthdays?”

“…..”

“Don’t bother me anymore. ok? I guess u have other things to do. Get your life! OK!”

“…”

“Goodbye”

Tuut …tuut ……. She hung up ….

I could see her mad through her voice. What did I do? Why I couldn’t say anything……

Why I couldn’t be stronger, just only some words then everything would be alright. Why? Why I couldn’t …..

Is this true that I will never be with her? Forever…