January 2013

“Are you sure you don't want me to stay any longer?”

“For the love of God, please leave. You're smothering me!” That crack earned Luna a good natured punch in the arm. Stacy had put in for a temporary transfer so that she could work in Seoul for the entire month of January. Luna was glad to have her with near, she had been amazingly helpful and supportive. As usual. “Stace Face, I am as fine as I'm going to be. I haven't cried in like, six hours. See? Progress.” Luna joked.

They stood in the foyer waiting for SeungRi to come and pick Stacy up. The Alive Tour was coming to an end. The upcoming weekend was the last three shows and Stacy had planned to stay with SeungRi for a few days before he followed her back to Japan.

Stacy fiddled with the buttons of her jacket and looked down at her feet again. “I'm sorry, Luna.”

“For what?”

“For sending him those pictures,” she explained. They had, by mutual, silent agreement, both stopped using YoungBae's name. “I thought you looked so pretty and–”

Luna scoffed. “Don't be. He wanted out and any excuse would have done at that point. I'm not mad at you. At all,” She patted her cheek and was about to continue, but Stacy's phone blared. She read the message quickly and stuffed it back in her pocket. Luna looked out the window and saw SeungRi's car in the driveway. “Was that text from Riri?”

“Yes,” Stacy answered guiltily. “We thought it'd be best if he didn't come in. It—”

“Would push me over the edge? Make me pop a cap in somebody? Turn me into a raving lunatic? Make me cry?” she guessed. She hugged Stacy and grabbed her cheeks for emphasis. “Stacy, I love you. I would never, ever, ever begrudge you any form of happiness. Especially not the kind of happiness that you've found with him. I know you got way more than you bargained for with me when you leaned over to talk to me in Professor Yamagata's class. I know that I lean too heavily on you. You have pushed me through crisis after crisis and I will forever be in your debt for that.

“I am happy, that you are happy. Yes, it may sting a little when you start waxing poetic about his, uh, attributes, but I'm fine. I've already decided that I'm going to be okay. And sooner, rather than later. Please don't feel like you have to blunt your happiness for me,” Stacy's eyes sparkled with tears as the two women hugged. “Now, tell him to bring his scrawny in here and get your bags. Ladies don't carry their own bags out of this house.”

Stacy kissed Luna on the forehead and sent SeungRi a text. He knocked lightly before stepping inside and taking a long time to remove his gloves.

“What? No 'noona'? No hug?” Luna challenged. He gave her a shy smile, cleared his throat and yelled 'noona!' loudly before wrapping her in a tight hug. They held on to each other a moment longer than they usually would. They knew it was forced. They knew it was fake. She pinched his nose after giving one final squeeze. “Congrats on the success of the tour and good luck on the last shows.”

“Noona, if you want to come—”

“I don't think that's a good idea, but thank you.” Luna hugged them both again before pushing them lovingly out the door. Once she was sure they were gone, she sat down on the stairs and let out a huge sigh. And the winner for this year's Academy Award for Best Actress is . . . She wasn't nearly as okay as she let on, but she didn't want to worry Stacy any further. Stacy had done enough. Aside from her being there for the initial break down, she also helped Luna adjust.

The day after Christmas, Stacy woke her up and made her go shopping to take advantage of the post holiday discounts. There was an actual physical altercation needed to get Luna out of bed, but Stacy eventually won. Luna drug behind her reluctantly and was thrilled when after dinner(and a lot of nervous glances at her cell phone), Stacy finally let her go home. When Luna walked in the kitchen, something felt off about the house. She looked around and spotted a key on the counter. Shoes still on, she threw her keys and purse on the breakfast bar, raced up the stairs and threw her bedroom door open. Her eyes swept the space and saw the evidence of his departure. The closet was half empty. A few pictures were missing. His glasses, books and watch were gone from the bedside table. She knew it was over, but that made it so . . . real.

Stacy came up behind her and hugged her while Luna cried tears she hadn't realized were falling. She apologized, but explained that she thought it was best that way to handle the situation. Luna nodded sadly, went to the other end of the hall and closed the door behind her. The next day, Stacy helped her move her things out of that room and take up residence in the smallest room. The small room had a small bed, and a small bed didn't feel as empty at night.

The sound of her phone going off broke her out of her thoughts and she got up to find it.

SeungHo: Have you eaten?

Luna: Not yet.

SeungHo: Share a meal with me?

Luna: Not tonight, but thank you.

Exchanges like this had passed between them every few days since their emotional encounter in the massage room. Luna was avoiding him. She was embarrassed. Yes, she and SeungHo had gotten to know each other well over the last year, but their conversations were never deep or overly personal. Going from arguing about, 'Who's better? Jackie Chan or Jet Li?' usually to an all out meltdown in his arms made her feel exposed.

SeungHo: Are you sure? If you change your mind, ByungHee and I are going to JangMi in HongDae around six.

Luna: I'll think about it. Thanx.

Luna had no interest in going out but, as she looked in her fridge and saw nothing she wanted, then struck down the idea of pizza and a movie, it occurred to her that she had plenty of quiet nights alone ahead.

Luna: I thought about it. I'll see you around six.

*****

February

“Ya, yeojah. Ppali.”

“Oh, shut it. I'm walking as fast as I can,” Luna snapped in to the phone as she made her way to the movie theatre. In the days since the first dinner, SeungHo became her near constant companion. In order for their outings to not be construed as dates, SeungHo always invited one of his friends to eat with them. Luna was comfortable with the arrangement. This, though, was the first time it would just be the two of them. No buffer. “It took forever to find a parking space.”

“Well, you do have short legs. Takes you more steps to cross a distance, doesn't it?”

“Bite me, funny man. Your legs aren't much longer than mine, SeungHo,” She told him with a laugh. Yes, a laugh. There were days in December when she didn't think she'd be able to do that, but he was helping. “Did you already buy tickets?”

“Yes, I did. Just waiting on you, your majesty.”

“Make me curse you out again. I'll do it. You know I will. I'm short and feisty,” Luna could hear him laughing instead of being offended. She liked that about him. He got her rougher sense of humor. “Okay. I'm here. Where are you?” She asked as she looked around the lobby.

“Right . . . here!” he yelled and grabbed her shoulders from behind. Luna jumped, kicked him in the shin and elbowed him in the stomach. He dropped down on one knee and rubbed his stomach in pain. “Ow!”

“My bad, I should have warned you. Never sneak up on a New Yorker,” she reached a hand down to help him stand and he slapped at her hand grumpily. “Oh, don't get sour. I'm sorry,” Still looking peeved, SeungHo readjusted the hat on his head and handed her a ticket. “'The Sorcerer and the White Snake'? Good choice.” At least it wasn't a chick flick. YoungBae used to—Stop that right now, she scolded herself.

“You get snacks, I'll get seats.” SeungHo ruffled her hair and she pushed him playfully. This was good for her.

When the move was over, they left the theatre and talking about the cool CGI and fight scenes. Luna was set to go home, but SeungHo cajoled her into joining him for a late night showdown in the arcade. They battled it out over fighting and shooting games. She could tell that he was letting her win, but collected her tickets with all the appropriate gloating. He gave her his tickets also, and they went to the counter together to choose their prizes. Luna scanned the shelves and saw a cheap, plastic Doraemon phone case and almost picked it, knowing that DaeSung would find it adorable. But she wouldn't be seeing DaeSung anytime soon, so she took the Pororo one next to it.

“Are you sure that's what you want? You can use more of the tickets than that.” SeungHo assured her.

“No. I'm good with this. The rest are yours.” Luna told him as she took the current case off. SeungHo got a matching case and gave the rest of the tickets to the little kids in line behind them. He put the case on for her, as well as his own as they walked towards their cars.

“Have you eaten?” he asked her with his hands in his hoodie pocket.

“Now that you mention it, no. Not since lunch,” she admitted honestly. Come to think of it, she was pretty hungry. “I'll eat something light before bed.”

“Or . . . you could come back to my place and we order something there,” Luna shot him a strange look. “Hey, that isn't a proposition of any kind, other than the obvious. Sharing a meal. We've done that before. You know I live with ByungHee and CheolYong, it's not like we'd be alone. Come on. Pleeeeeease.” He lifted his fists to his cheeks and displayed his rarely seen aegyo. It caught Luna off guard and made her laugh. A real laugh. It felt good to laugh.

Luna weighed the options quickly while she wiped the tears from her eyes. She could either, have a late dinner with him in his apartment with company or, sit in her big, lonely house and watch TV until she fell asleep like she had done almost every other night. “I'm in. D