Chapter Twenty-One: Madeleine's Message

In about half an hour, the whole group was assembled in the Jungs’ living room. Even Eunkwang and Hyunsik came along due to Minhyuk and Ilhoon’s insistence, but neither looked very good and neither felt like talking to anyone, particularly Ilsoon and each other. Hyunsik sat with Sungjae and Peniel on the long couch, not making eyes with anyone and keeping his fingers intertwined with each other. Eunkwang, on the other hand was on the other side of the room, on the floor with Minhyuk and Changsub, keeping his gaze unfocused. Ilhoon looked at this silent set-up and Ilsoon who was alone in the middle of the room, arranging the TV by herself. He sighed and sat with her.

“Do you feel that?” he mumbled as he pretended to fiddle with the laptop. “That is heavy tension, that is. Want me to take out a machete just to make you see how thick the tension is?”

Ilsoon shoved her twin. “We don’t even have a machete. Shut up and help me with this,” she muttered and fumbled with the wires due to her nervousness. She kept sneaking glances at Hyunsik, but she hasn’t quite gotten why he looked so dejected.

It was the first time she’d seen Hyunsik since she unknowingly rejected him, and he didn’t look like he was taking it well. He was dressed shabbily in a plain gray shirt that didn’t fit him well and torn, faded jeans—not the usual debonair way he dressed. His eyes were foreboding and there were dark circles under each one.

Ilsoon took her eyes off Hyunsik and discreetly peered at Eunkwang. He was looking outside the window at something that seemed so far away. His usual laid-back posture was replaced by a stiff sitting position. He didn’t even bother look at Minhyuk, who was his bestfriend within the group. In fact, the division of the group didn’t allow for much interaction.

Ilsoon gulped and gripped hard at the wires, her knuckles turning white. If I knew I’d be the cause of this band’s falling-apart, I should never have come home.

Ilhoon noticed that Ilsoon had stopped moving and gently pried the wires and controls from her. “Hey,” he whispered, “let me set this up, huh? Go on, sit comfortably; I’ll join you.”

Soon the TV was on and Ilhoon played the video Madeleine sent. Their Western princess-like friend’s face and golden hair illuminated the screen, and Ilsoon felt a tug in her chest. I miss her so much. She noticed that Maddy’s eyes looked a little red, and her rosy cheeks carried a darker hue.

“Hello, everyone,” she said in Korean. “I’m assuming that Ilsoon succeeded in bringing all of you together. Ilsoon wrote to me a week ago and I want to apologize if my message only got there now. After I left, I realized that I wanted to tell you guys a few things I haven’t been able to say.”

Madeleine turned and picked up a piece of paper of her desk. She cleared and began to speak again.

“First, I want to thank you all for welcoming me when I visited. It was the best summer of my life, I swear. You treated me as if you’ve known me as well as you’ve known each other, and I appreciated it a lot. Thank you so much for that. Thank you also, Ilhoon and Ilsoon, for inviting me along to Jeju Island. The place was more beautiful than I thought it would be, really. I’m going to treasure our good moments together forever.”

Madeleine paused to take a breath and began again. Ilsoon noticed that the French girl’s hands were shaking slightly.

“Second, I want to apologize to Ilsoon, Hyunsik oppa, and Eunkwang oppa. I know my presence and feelings created a rift between you three, and if there’s anything I’d hate to do, that’s to go between your friendships. I’m sorry. If there’s anything I could do to heal that rift, you know I’d do it and more.”

Hyunsik slowly and carefully raised his head to look across the room, only to meet Eunkwang’s gaze. He lowered it abruptly and tried to hide his hurt expression. Ilsoon didn’t fail to notice this quick exchange between the boys, and in turn sighed quietly.

“And third, I just want to say I miss you all so much,” she said, the lowered the paper and faced them fully. She was starting to tear up.

“I miss Ilhoon’s well-meant nagging,” she said, and Ilhoon snorted, but smiled silently.

“I miss Minhyuk oppa’s kind words and actions,” she said, and Minhyuk grinned.

“I miss Changsub oppa’s jokes and quirkiness,” she said, and Changsub replied as if she could hear him: “I miss your laughter, then.”

“I miss talking to Peniel while others didn’t understand,” she said, and Peniel mumbled in English: “I miss that too, hun.”

“I miss hanging out and playing with Sungjae,” she said, and Sungjae blew a raspberry, saying, “I miss you a lot too, noona.”

“I miss Eunkwang oppa’s protective side,” she said, and Eunkwang stiffened and looked up at the screen.

“I miss Hyunsik oppa’s… Well, I miss you,” she said, but Hyunsik didn’t look up. He just bit his lip and shut his eyes tightly. I’m sorry, Madeleine; I’m sorry.

Madeleine reached to the side and blew her nose, then faced them with a smile. “And above all, I miss you, Jung Ilsoon. I miss everything about you. I miss my bestfriend.”

Ilsoon blinked back tears and grinned. “I knew you would.”

Madeleine sighed and smiled brightly. Then, much to everyone’s surprise, she laughed a hearty, elated laugh. Her face shone with lightness, and she gave them a dazzling, Western girl smile.

“Ahh… It’s so good to get all of those out of my chest. So… yeah. I don’t know if whatever I said will have any effect on any of you, but—and I may sound selfish when I say this—I feel lighter and happier now to have said all those. So, that’s it. Have a good day, everyone. Goodbye.”

Madeleine reached forward as if to click a button, and the screen shut off. The living room still felt stuffy and tense, like an animal holding its breath before it pounces. Then Eunkwang suddenly stood up and said,

“If that is all, I’ll be leaving now.” He bowed before the Jungs and left without another word. Minhyuk ran after him, only to come back dejected.

Hyunsik, too, got up to leave, ignoring Ilsoon’s pleading look. “I’m busy today,” he mumbled and scuttled out of the house before anyone can say a word. Ilsoon sighed heavily and lowered her head. The rest of the boys surrounded her and tried to console her.

“And here I am, stupidly thinking everything’s going to be okay with just that,” she said, not realizing right then that she had spoken aloud.

As eldest left in the room, Minhyuk slid down beside Ilsoon and wrapped an arm around her, rubbing her forearm as if to warm her up.

“Little sister~ Dongsaengi~” he cooed. “Everything will be okay. Don’t you believe in fate? Things will work out slowly. Let’s be patient, yeah?”

In support to Minhyuk’s statement, Sungjae and Peniel nodded vigorously, each taking one of Ilsoon’s hands and giving it a reassuring squeeze. Changsub caressed her hair, and Ilhoon gingerly touched his twin sister’s soft cheek.

Ilsoon found herself leaning against Minhyuk for support. She nodded mutely, feeling utterly helpless.

Will it really be okay?