A/N: HI~ I know it's been a long time since I last updated something, but I am more of like trying to edit my previous fics??? LOLOL. But yeah, this was supposedly a drabble that I wrote while waiting for time to pass at work some time before. But somehow it kept getting longer and as usual, a sad ending came to mind before I successfully end it, though I changed it at the very end too. LOL.

The ending is not as good as how I imagined it to be tho... But I hope that you will still like this~? 

Just in case there are things that I am not clear about in this, you can just ask~ If not, a comment would be very much appreciated~! XD

Otherwise, enjoy~ 

“Hyung, I am tired.” Daehyun whined in hopes of being let off the hook. “Just 2 more hours.” When the expected response came, Daehyun bit his lips and rubbed his chest silently, knowing that Yongguk will realize something. “Nice try, Daehyun.” Yongguk rolled his eyes and Daehyun just clicked his tongue. It has been a few days since he last slept properly and he swears that he could just fall asleep right now.

After a while, when Daehyun rubbed his chest again, Yongguk decided to just ignore it. “Hyung.” Daehyun called as he clutched onto his chest. “Daehyun, it’s just a while more.” And so, Daehyun sat there and kept on rubbing his chest. “Guk.” When Daehyun groaned, Yongguk just looked over with a slightly annoyed look and Daehyun cursed. “er.” Turning his seat back to facing the table, he was internally killing Yongguk.

How could he not trust his own boyfriend? Okay, even though he must admit that he did use this trick a little too much. However, shouldn’t Yongguk take a little more effort to just check if it’s the real thing? The fact that Yongguk is the reason that he is sleepless annoyed him even more. It’s been a week since Yongguk moved back to his house and Daehyun just can’t get used to the feeling of sleeping alone.

Every year, Yongguk has to go back to his house for a few weeks to prepare for the night that Yongguk’s and some other rich families just gather and eat a dinner. For a stupid dinner, Yongguk has to go back for a few weeks, does it make sense? Then during the dinner, his parents would shove him girls from everywhere in hopes of him liking them and marrying one of them.

Times like this, Daehyun would have to deal with all his insecurities all alone. The fact that he can’t sleep alone doesn’t really help. Daehyun trusts Yongguk, he won’t cheat on Daehyun definitely, but there’s nothing that he can compete against all the girls. He can’t give birth to kids that Yongguk likes so much, neither can he be as gentle as girls can be at times. Daehyun can’t cook well and acts like a kid most of the time. The only thing that he could win the girls would probably be how dramatic he can be.

It’s good how he isn’t hurting so much that he couldn’t bear with it, he could wait till he gets to his bag in the locker. When his work finally ended, Daehyun didn’t even bothered talking to Yongguk and just went to grab his bag. That’s when he realized that he forgot to bring his medicine out this morning and he cursed silently. “I will send you home.” Yongguk offered and Daehyun just nodded, still not wanting to talk to him yet.

In the end, Yongguk didn’t even bothered to initiate a conversation and he just drove Daehyun back to their shared apartment. Even when Yongguk was walking Daehyun up, it was totally quiet. It wasn’t as if Daehyun had the energy to even care and just went straight to the kitchen after he unlocked the door. By that time, he was biting onto his lips so hard to distract him from the pain while he ate the medicine.

Daehyun pushed Yongguk away when he tried to touch him. Yongguk just cupped Daehyun’s cheek and caught the held in tears with his thumb. Slapping Yongguk’s arm away, Daehyun glared at him before making his way to the living room. Why can’t he just get used to this pain honestly, did the tears really have to come and make him lose? He might be the only one in this weird competition that he came up with suddenly, but he doesn’t really gives a about it,

When Yongguk sat beside him, Daehyun ignored his presence. “Feeling better?” Daehyun just looked over briefly. “Aren’t you going back?” He spat willfully even though he is wishing for Yongguk to stay and Yongguk just ruffled his hair gently. “I am staying tonight, you aren’t feeling well.” When Yongguk sensed that Daehyun isn’t as annoyed, he reached down and pulled Daehyun’s lips apart. “You will bleed if you continue.”

“Does it still hurt a lot?” Instinctively, Daehyun shook his head and regretted immediately. He absolutely hates how Yongguk can always win without even saying much. It’s totally as if he is in control of everything. Making Daehyun annoyed, then approaching just at the correct time and lets Daehyun forget about the annoying things that Yongguk accidentally did. “They will be unhappy.” Daehyun grumbled but Yongguk just grabbed his hand and pulled him into the bathroom.

“That’s not important.” Yongguk just quickly helped the both of them showered so that they could rest. When they are finally on the bed, Yongguk cupped Daehyun’s cheeks and asked again. “Is it still hurting?” A smile was etched onto Daehyun’s face as he shook his head lightly. “Don’t worry, I am tired, let’s sleep.”

When Yongguk woke up from the constant ringing of his phone and was greeted with an empty bed, the reality sank in almost immediately; He is the only one left here. “Why didn’t you come back last night? Your dad and I were so worried.” The first thing he heard when he picked up the 10^th call from his mum was her nagging and he just hang up after a simple sentence. “I am going back soon.” How long has it been since his parents were trying even harder to get him a girl? 1 year? 2 or maybe 3? He lost count.

He can’t sleep unless he comes over to their shared apartment, even if he is the only one left now. Times when he felt really suffocated being with his parents while they try so desperately to make it as if Daehyun had never existed in Yongguk’s life, this is the only place that he could feel calmed and breathe again. It was as if things never changed and Daehyun was still here with him. The fact that he still remembers, that at least Daehyun still exists somewhere, calms him more than the pills that the doctors prescribed.

Forgetting is a scary thing for Yongguk. He wouldn’t be the same if he forgets everything about Daehyun and even if that meant that he can be happier, he wouldn’t want it to happen. This pain is also an evidence that Daehyun existed in his life so he will remember it, along with the memories of their time spent together. If not, Daehyun will be depressed and lonely. Daehyun will be so damn depressed that his existence didn’t mean anything to anyone, that is too lonely for him so Yongguk will remember everything.

When his phone rang again, but with a Daehyun’s voice this time, he suddenly shot out of bed and washed up quickly. It’s the time of the year again. Making sure that he looks presentable, Yongguk finally left the apartment looking more like a human. His first stop was to the florist that he’s gotten to know as the years passed by. “I got your flowers ready, hyung.” A young guy that’s taller than Yongguk by quite a bit smiled and went behind the counter to get it. “Thanks, Junhong.”

Leaving right after he paid, he then went to a small café on the same street. “Youngjae ah, can I have the usual?” Youngjae’s the owner of this small café that is very popular for the desserts they sell around this area. Since this is such a small area, Youngjae has to help out in the store whenever it is short of manpower, which is also most of the time. “Alright, here you go. Have a nice day, hyung.” With a small nod and thanks, Yongguk left to the next venue.

It didn’t take him too long to reach his final destination, the quietness and serenity that he can’t experience in the city let him relaxed a little. Taking the familiar route that is etched into his mind, he is able to find the spot easily. Yongguk set the things he bought down and sat down in front of Daehyun’s tombstone. “Hey, time flies eh?” Yongguk started as he reached over and caressed the picture, cleaning it before removing the leaves and dirt around the grave where his lover is currently lying in.

Yongguk only allows himself to come over once a year, because he doesn’t want to let Daehyun worry over him. Even though forgetting him would make Daehyun depressed, but the way Yongguk is living would probably hurt Daehyun more than anything else. That’s why, he doesn’t come over too often. Opening up the packaging around the food, Yongguk placed the cappuccino beside the cheesecake that is meant for Daehyun before he opened up his own Americano.

“It’s been 5 years since you died eh, time pass by so quickly.” Yongguk mumbled as he stared at the tombstone. “You know, I am still wondering if I made the right decision of letting you do the heart transplant.” Yongguk started suddenly and he took a small sip of his coffee. “Would you have lived longer if you didn’t do the operation? Would it be better if I chose another hospital? What would have happened if the operation didn’t fail? Would you still be beside me right now?”

“I am slowly finding my way back to life so you don’t have to worry.” Yongguk smiled gently as he drank from the cup in his hand, stopping his train of thoughts that is about to get out of hand. “You can also relax, since you already taken up the space in my heart those girls won’t be able to come in.” When Yongguk finished his drink, he stood up and patted his pants to get rid of the dirt. “So just rest peacefully while you wait for me oh? See you.” Turning away from the tombstone, Yongguk could feel the tears that he held in wetting his cheeks and he just wiped them away harshly. Yongguk tried to hide his sobs as the tears continue streaming down his face until he just gave up.

“I really miss you, Daehyun ah.”

3 Years later

“Dad, where are you going?” A kid, around the age of 9, pulled onto Yongguk’s hand as he was lead to the car. “Today is a very special date, I have to visit someone that is very important.” With a small smile, Yongguk helped the kid buckle up his seat belt before going to the driver’s seat. “But before that, I still have to go to a few places so Junseo can rest a little if you are tired.”

When they finally reached, Junseo is sleeping with his mouth wide open and Yongguk chuckled. "Come on, we've reached. I want to introduce you to him." Shaking the boy gently, it didn't take long before he was led up the stone path that his father memorized. Junseo, as a normal kid, was just looking around curiously with little hints of him still being respectful. Watching as Yongguk removed the dried leaves and wiped the tombstone, the first thing that Junseo said made Yongguk smile. "He is so beautiful." 

"Right? Your dad is totally captivated by his beauty." Standing up properly, Yongguk grabbed Junseo's hand and smiled happily. "Hey, another year has passed again and this year I brought someone with me." Yongguk started and looked over at Junseo before continuing. "I adopted a kid as we've planned to, his name is Junseo. Isn't he cute?" Junseo bowed slightly and introduced himself proudly. “Hello, I am Lee Junseo.”

As usual, Yongguk took sips of the coffee in his hand before he continued. “Our Junseo is a very nice kid, even though he can be mischievous at times. In short, he is totally like you. Cheery, idiotic, loud and mischievous, but still very lovable.” Taking a few deep breaths, he laughed a little as he looked up at the sky. “Ah, I told myself not to cry this time since I have Junseo with me.” Junseo tugged onto Yongguk’s hand and pulled him down so that he can wipe the tears away.

“Was he dad’s lover?” Junseo asked curiously but he didn’t get a reply immediately. It took Yongguk quite a while to calm himself down and when he did, they were already about to go back. Before they left, however, Yongguk decided to finally answer Junseo’s question. “And, yes, he was my lover.” Yongguk just held Junseo’s hand and led him down, back to the car. Taking one last look at the direction of where Daehyun is at, he started the car engine.

“But I still love him as much as before.”