♥

The Lady has been informed of what happened in Jeju Island, and she is furious at me for it.

I am at the Kim’s palace, all prim and proper as I sit across where the Lady is seated. She has invited me for tea, although I am already aware that our conversation will not be about exchanging pleasantries to each other.

The Lady simply doesn’t spend her afternoons like that.

“Did you have fun in Jeju?” The Lady asks me, giving me a small, non-committal smile as she quietly takes a sip of her tea. “I specifically instructed my staff there to make sure that you and my son would only have the most comfortable stay in our villa.  I made sure that the arrangements I made went well according to plan.”

I say nothing at this. I am well aware of the Lady’s plans, and both of us perfectly know that none of her plans for Jong In and I pushed through. Not when I invited Jina, Sehun, Baekhyun and Chanyeol to spend time with us in Jeju.

The Lady is able to read this piece of information on my face. Gently placing her teacup back on the gold-rimmed saucer before her, she tells me mildly, “However, it is disappointing to know that my staff in Jeju has been very incompetent during your stay there. It is simply not acceptable, hence, I dismissed all of them right after you and Jong In...and your company have left the island.” There is a look of disdain on her face as she mentioned “the company” we had with us; she is referring to Jina and Jong In’s friends, and I can tell that the Lady wanted to use a more scathing term, but instead has chosen to be a little condescending instead.

It is her firing of the staff assigned to serve us in Jeju that truly shocks me to the core, however. All of them have been kind to us, especially to me. How were they incompetent? Has the Lady been notified incorrectly? The staff should get nothing but the best compensation for making sure that we enjoyed our stay there, but instead, they get the sack for unjustified reasons.

“But, Mrs. Kim --”

“Mother,” the Lady corrects me tersely, her voice devoid of  maternal warmth. “You are already my daughter, Minji.”

The finality in the way she has addressed me as her daughter has made me feel as if I’ve been sentenced to life imprisonment, but I ignore this in favor of telling her that what she did to the staff in Jeju was unjust. “Mother,” I say, following her instruction right away. “...don’t you think you are being too harsh? The staff who attended to us in Jeju has been excellent, there is no way --”

“Minji, my daughter, you simply do not know how things work in my household, don’t you?” the Lady sinks herself in her throne, flashing a smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes. “I fired them because you have defied me, your mother. Of all people.” There is a sharp glint in her eyes as she says this, making me shiver involuntarily from cold fear. “What did I tell you before you left for Jeju Island with my son?”

“I...” My heart beats fast at the Lady’s trepid intimidation. She made a phonecall to me just as we were about to board the plane for Jeju Island, and now that I recall our brief conversation, I realize that what she told me wasn’t motherly advice. It was an order meant to be followed.

Minji, I am expecting that you and my son will stay close and intimate during your stay in the island.  Just the two of you.

“Just because I see you as my daughter,” the Lady continues, watching me with emotionless eyes -- black, glassy ones that could have been hollow except for my reflection floating in them. “doesn’t mean that you have the right, the absolute right, to ignore my commands.”

“Mother,” I try to explain myself, but the Lady is not yet done scolding me.

“Because you don’t.” The rage she has been harboring for some time now runs like icy shards straight to my heart, stabbing me with the truth that the Lady will never see me as a human being, but only a token to her family’s continued dominance in Korea. She calls me her daughter, but she treats me like a porcelain doll - exquisite, but imprisoned in a glass case. Trapped forever.

“May I remind you,” She speaks some more  in that insulting tone of hers, “that no one challenges me and succeeds in doing so. You are marrying into my family, and you will have more or less the rights similar to my children. Similar to my subjects. Similar to those little people scrambling and scurrying everyday to survive in my world. Always use your head, my daughter. Showing chivalry will not do anything for you as long as you are in this family. Don’t even think that sacrificing yourself over petty things will merit something positive from me. Because the more you try to revolt against my wishes...the more the people around you will suffer. Consider the firing of those unreliable people a warning, daughter.”

“Y-yes,” I answer timidly, my eyes cast downwards, too ashamed and terrified to look at her. “I--I’m s-sorry, m-mother.”

“Save your apologies,” the Lady tells me icily. “They mean nothing to me.”

I nod weakly, my lips trembling as I murmur another word of apology that the Lady cannot hear. I can feel her looking at me with contempt. She simply drinks her tea while I pray for the earth to open and swallow me up. When my discomfort and anxiousness finally disgusts her, she stops drinking and says,

“Get out of my sight.”

I stand up and will myself to bow at her before leaving, my body shaking from keeping myself from falling on my knees to cry -- the Lady has humiliated me enough.

-------

I spend the night in my bedroom crying, refusing anyone who tries to contact me. Dinner came and went, and I stayed in my room, inconsolable. The meeting with the Lady had been simple, but her words hit something inside me that I couldn’t seem to explain -- terror, humiliation, suffocation; even death, for the Lady might as well have stabbed me repeatedly for saying those words to me, her daughter.

My parents had gotten wind of my despondent mood, calling me every hour or so, begging me to talk to them. But just like the others, I rejected their requests to have a conversation with me.

Realizing that they couldn't get through me, they were somehow able to reach Jong In and ask for his help.

“Hello?” He says on the other line, his voice sounding a little unsure. “Yah, don’t even dare putting down your phone! I can’t exactly hear you breathing, but I know you’re there!”

“What is it do you want,” I ask lifelessly. “I’m resting.”

“Mother called me,” He explains, and it takes awhile for me to realize that she is referring to my mother, and not his. “She says she’s so worried about you. Your assistant told her that you haven’t eaten a thing since this afternoon. So she asked me to send you a message to check-up on you, but I know you would just ignore my texts so I called you and ---”
 

“I’m fine,” I finally snap at him, exhausted that I still have to put up with him when his mother basically took all of my energy hours ago. “Can we just talk tomorrow?”

The sudden change in my tone startles him. Sounding concerned, he asks, “What did mother tell you?”

“Nothing,” I lie, hoping that he would give it a rest and leave me alone. “It was just some boring conversation, nothing big.”

“My mother doesn’t engage in little conversations, Minji.” Jong In says simply. “Tell me what happened.”

“Nothing, okay!” I try to sound angry, but my throat starts getting worked up, something that Jong In immediately notices.

“Is this about Jeju?” He finally tells me, correctly guessing the topic of the conversation I had with the Lady earlier today. When I don't not respond, he sighs and says, “Minji, tell me what happened.”

“She fired the staff, Jong In.” I croak at last, losing the will to hide it from him. “Mr. Han and the others -- everyone, they lost their jobs the moment we left!”

“Goddammit,” Jong In curses, making me wince. “Just what the fxck is mother’s problem right now?!”

“I...it’s my fault, Jong In. I was so stupid and --”

“What, because you called Jina and the others to go there and stay with us? What the fxck is wrong with that?” It is the beginning of Jong In’s vicious rants about her heartless mother. “This is why I fxcking wish she ing gets lost forever. Mother has this absurd belief that all of us are merely her little toys, always willing to comply with her stupid demands. I am so fxcking sick of --”

“Jong In, it’s okay, it’s over. I learned my lesson. I will be careful from now on.”

“But she's hurt you,” He says to me, and the pain in his voice sounded so genuine it made eases my pain a bit. “She shouldn’t have done that, it was my fault, too.”

“Never mind, Jong In. I will try my best to contact Mr. Han and the others tomorrow to ask for forgiveness and to offer them compensation.”

“Are you sure you’re okay now?” Jong In asks.

“Yes,” I say. “Yes I’m ok, Jong In.”

“I wish I can hug you.”

His words surprise me that I ask him to repeat them to me. “What?”

“I wish I can give you a hug,” he repeats more clearly this time. “Why didn’t you tell me that you were in our house a few hours ago? I was there when mother invited you over for tea. Why didn’t you tell me? I could have protected you from her.”

“There’s no need, Jong In. I got out of there alive. Could’ve been worse.”

“Okay, then,” Jong In finally says, his voice sounding sleepy. “I was in the middle of my sleep when your mom called me. I’m glad you’re okay now, Mingkki. ‘Night.”

“Good night,” I echo his words softly before ending finally ending the call.

I wish I can hug you, Jong In says. I repeat those words in my mind, gently like a lullaby, finally putting me to sleep.

I wish I can hug you too, Jong In.