♥

“How dare you.”

The look of betrayal on father’s face makes the pain on my cheek insignificant. Mother stands beside him, looking more fragile than ever as her eyes remain fixed on my face, the color of my cheeks uneven from father’s slap. She is barely breathing as she reels from shock; in all the years that I have been their daughter, father has never hit me -- not even once -- until tonight. The intensity of his rage is palpable, even the Lady chooses to watch us from afar just to avoid his ire.

“Father --” I begin to air my side, but he silences me with another slap, harder this time that it makes me dizzy from the impact. Mother starts sobbing, latching onto father’s arm to stop him even though both of us know how futile this gesture is.

“You are a disgrace,” My father tells me in disgust. “you are not the daughter your mother and I reared.”

Even with Sehun’s jacket around my shoulders to keep me warm, my father’s words find their way to freeze me to the core. I have never seen him so angry, so disappointed...so ashamed. The images of happy days with my father flash in my mind, but the color and vividness they once held whenever I thought of them before are gone, now replaced with grainy, black-and-white pictures that show you of precious moments now lost.

I wonder, is my love for him not enough anymore?

“He doesn’t love me!” I cry, my eyes making my vision blurry but still not enough to erase appa’s furious glare. “He loves someone else, appa! I can’t marry him!”

“He doesn’t love you?” Father rages, but not because he thinks Jong In should return my feelings -- he simply finds my reason absurd. “You didn’t have to help him get together with that peasant!”

“She’s a respectable woman!” I defend Jina indignantly, astonished that the Lady has already influenced his way of thinking. “She is my friend appa, and I won’t let you insult her this way!”

My father’s face darkens at this, and I can tell that he is this close to actually...disowning me.

“To. actually. disobey. me. your. father.” He raises his hand, higher this time, and I brace myself for that scalding sensation about to hit my face, but mother jumps and encloses him into a fierce hug as she hysterically begs for him to stop.

“Min-sung!” My mother wails, not caring if she has already lost her composure and sense of pride. “She is our only daughter! Why are you doing this? Why? Just stop thinking of your business for once and think about what our daughter really needs!”

“She will be needing a good life,” My father shakes himself off my mother’s grasp. “Am I not thinking of her when doing this? Do you think I don’t love her?”

“Let her be with someone who will love her!”

“Jong In will love her, but it will only happen if Minji stops being foolish and actually let us make this wedding materialize!” Father appears to be on the verge of inflicting physical pain on mother as well, but he is trying his best to not turn into a total monster by slapping her out of her wits. “Stop making it seem like I don’t care about our daughter!”

“Min-sung is right,” the Lady finally steps in, obviously having enough of our family drama unraveling before her. “My son will love her. I will make him love her. Now if only your precious daughter would actually cooperate --”

“The children are not robots!” Mother cuts the Lady off in the most unfashionable manner, not caring about formalities anymore. “They are not things, they have feelings! They have lives, let them make decisions for themselves!”

“Believe me, they are not capable yet of thinking for themselves.” the Lady says through gritted teeth. Her disdain for my mother is so pronounced and she has no intentions of hiding it. “You yourself are not even fit to do such thing, and you’re expecting me to believe you?”

“You don’t have any right to judge my mother, you witch!” I do not care what kind of consequences I will have to face for openly making disparaging remarks about the Lady, because I have to protect my mother if father is not going to do it.

“And you have absolutely no power to intimidate me with your empty words, young lady.” the Lady says simply, unaffected by my outburst. She then turns her cold eyes to my father. “We will fix this in the morning. Take your wife and your daughter home, they have done enough damage tonight.”

She walks away, a group of men in dark suits escorting her out of the now near-empty place. My mother and I throw our arms around each other, alternately crying and apologizing for whatever we have done wrong tonight. A few steps away from us, father stands still, his face grim and his hands balled into fists.  He is mad.

“Min-sung,” My mother calls out to him weakly, hoping that father will return to his normal self now that the Lady has left us.

“I won’t be going home tonight.” Father informs her emotionlessly, stalking away before mother could try to change his mind. He motions to our own guards to take us home, officially ending one of the most harrowing nights we have ever gone through as a family.

-----------

Mornings have always meant promise, hope and new beginnings, but this one is different. My heart is heavy as I adjust my eyes to the sunlight that poured through the windows of my bedroom, its rays’ tips barely killing the shadows of the nightmares I had the previous night.  My bed has failed to provide comfort, my covers unsuccessful in protecting me from the terrifying visions I had in my sleep.

“Minji.”

Mother’s voice is almost inaudible, but it sends chills enough to make me look at her in an instant despite my sluggishness. Her presence in my bedroom so early in the morning immediately gives me an unsettling feeling. Mother has always attended to father’s needs first before checking up on me, and today it seems that this is not the case.

“Good morning, mother.” I greet her with a weak smile, thinking that faking my mood will help lessen her problems somehow.  “Is everything...okay?”

“Your friends are here.” Her announcement catches me unprepared. New worries and fears occupy my still foggy mind, thoughts racing in lightning speed it makes processing them difficult.

“Friends?” I finally croak, praying that it is none of the people I’ve been with for the last few months and the night before, for I think I cannot handle whatever news they might bring me yet.

“Yes,” Mother confirms. Face paling, she continues, “They need to tell you something.”

“Oh,” I say, and mother takes it as an indication that she can let these ‘friends’ enter my room even though I am still in my bed.  She opens my bedroom door and motions the guests to come over.

I quickly recognize Baekhyun, Chanyeol and Sehun, the bad news already etched on their faces as they file inside my room. I sit up, pull the covers under my chin and watch them settle in the small sofa facing my bed. Mother leaves us alone without exchanging pleasantries with them or saying good-bye, only shutting the door behind her as she exited the room, perhaps not wanting to hear the unfortunate news just yet.

“The Lady has kidnapped Jong In.” Baekhyun announces right away. The news appears to be more severe than it seems because looking at him feels like I’m staring at a different person; he is unsmiling and the dark circles under his eyes are very evident. I can easily identify the gravity of the situation just by observing him and the others.

Still, I ask, “How can the Lady even do that? He’s Jong In’s mother.”

“Baekhyun hyung meant to say that the Lady took him away and locked him up...until your wedding day.” Chanyeol explains, mirroring the same exhausted expression Baekhyun has.

“Wedding day?” I look at Sehun for answers, because he has been my witness to what happened to Jong In, Jina and I last night. “Jong In and I are not going to get married.”

“That’s not what his mother and your father said to the press a few hours ago.” Sehun calmly informs me. “They released a joint statement, saying that what happened last night was a small misunderstanding, and that the wedding will happen...two weeks from now.”

“What?!” The covers fly as I jump out of my bed, shocked at the sudden turn of events. How many hours have I been asleep? Three? Four? So much has happened, and the way the Lady and father have worked together to plan this leaves me in a total state of disbelief.  

“This is serious, Minji.” Baekhyun says uneasily, his easy-go-lucky personality hard to recognize under the amount of stress he is under. “the Lady and your father, last we heard, have been busily making arrangements for your grand wedding. In fact, they are trying to speed up the preparations. Shxt, you can even get married in a week, or three days from now.”

“Mother won’t let that happen,” I whisper, almost to myself, but the three of them hear it just the same.

“Your mother is not allowed to leave the house, and your father has totally relinquished her rights to have your family’s staff follow her orders. The same rule has been applied to you, Minji.”

“Father’s never going to do that to us, Chanyeol.”

“And I wish I could lie, Minji.”

We stare at each other for a full minute, hoping that we could conjure the reality we wanted. Sighing, I sit on the edge of my bed, my shoulders slumped in defeat. Father has totally abandoned us for his ambitions.

“You can still do something, Minji.” Chanyeol speaks again. “You can save Jong In.”

“How?” I challenge him, my voice broken. “By marrying him?”

“No.” Baekhyun answers for his friend. “By breaking off --”

“Think of Minji’s feelings.” Sehun says sternly. “What will become of her when she does what you two wanted her to do?” His face breaks into an angry look of disapproval and displeasure. “You think this is not hard for her?”

“Shxt, I know that she’s having the worst time of her life,” Baekhyun glares at Sehun, offended by the way his friend has judged him. “But Jong In...Jong In has Jina. Both of them has fought so hard for this, Sehun. Even Minji knows this. Hell --” He glances at me as if to apologize for what he is about to say next and says, “she even helped the two of them escape last night! Jong In has been hurt so many times and --”

“And you think Minji has not been hurt for so many times, hyung?” Sehun’s voice has raised a notch now. “What will happen if she breaks this off like you wanted her to? the Lady and her father will come after her. The Lady will give her hell.”

“If Minji loves Jong In she would be willing to experience that for him.” Chanyeol says quietly, making Sehun and even Baekhyun gasp.

My eyes fix themselves on his face, and he returns my stare without blinking.

“I’m terribly sorry, Minji.” I can feel the misery in his voice, but it doesn’t stop me from hurting, even though I totally understand where he is coming from.

“I can’t believe you'd say that,” Sehun comments bitterly. “I hope you never experience being in her situation, Chanyeol. I hope no girl would go through hell and back for loving you.”

“Yes, I am damned for life for asking Minji to sacrifice her happiness.” Chanyeol openly accepts Sehun’s disappointment. “But I will stand by what I said.”

“Fxck you, then.” Sehun curses.

“Gladly.” Chanyeol replies with a deadpan expression.

“There is some truth to Chanyeol’s words,” Baekhyun ignores Sehun by directing his argument to me. “Please Minji, if you really love him, please help him. He’s been through so much.”

“Don’t, Minji.” Sehun reiterates his opinion. “You’ve done so much. Let fate run its course.”

“Oh Sehun!” Baekhyun says his name in frustration. “Stop butting in and actually help your best friend here! Jong In needs you!”

“I won’t help him this way, not at Minji’s expense.”

“If Minji loves him she would be willing to set him free.”

“If Jong In and Jina’s love is that strong they can overcome this on their own.”

“But Minji is in the equation! They cannot free themselves from this if Minji just follows the Lady’s wishes!”

“She has already sacrificed enough. I wish you have seen what she has done for Jong In last night --”

“I did, Sehun! I’m not blind! But THAT. IS. NOT. ENOUGH!”

“Leave. All of you.” I use what little voice I have to let them know that their heated discussion has finally made me come to a decision I am not yet ready to tell anyone. The intensity of my words stops their argument from escalating, and the three of them look at me expectantly; Baekhyun and Chanyeol waiting for me to say yes, while Sehun telling me to ignore Jong In’s situation and just do what I think will be the best for me.

“Get out of my sight. Now.”

They all vacate the sofa, shuffling their way to the door without saying good-bye.

When the last trace of them has disappeared in my room, the echo of their words bombard me in the loudest of  ways, each of them ringing like a bullet fired to make a dark hole in my brain, denting my way of thinking and destroying the memories I’ve shared with them.

If she really loves him, he will set him free.

Don’t, Minji. Let fate run its course.

Two opposing sides. Freedom and Fate.

 

Fate and Freedom.
 

Maybe, in my case, they are not so different to each other at all.