♥

Sensing the budding friendship Jong In and I are starting to have, the Lady arranged for us to have a trip to Jeju Island together.

 

Or, the Lady must have gotten a whiff of Jina somehow getting along with me, so perhaps this is why I find myself seated beside a rather unresponsive Jong In in one of their private jets en route to Jeju. As usual, Jong In detests the idea; I’d like to think that he is feeling this way because he hates his mother’s controlling ways, and not exactly my company.

“Are you okay?” I ask, although I already know the answer.

“No,” he grumbles, crossing his arms and looking out the small window in an attempt to ignore me.

His attitude makes me sigh in defeat, finally resigning to the fact that Jong In will never be totally okay with set-ups like this. True, things between us are a little calmer now, but it still doesn’t erase the truth that he is totally against our engagement and our eventual union (if the Lady’s plans go on accordingly).

“I’m kind of excited to visit Jeju again,” I try to sound cheerful, but the effort is futile because I am only talking to myself -- Jong In shuts his eyes the moment I open my mouth.

Oh well, I say to myself as I lean back to my seat and close my eyes, visions of the sun shining brightly and the waves crashing against the big rocks eclipsing the sad reality I have with Jong In.  His mood might change later.

---

“Everything just looks so breathtaking!” I rave, inhaling the salty air of the beach, my feet curling in delight as small, gentle waves of foamy water crash on them, wet sand tickling my skin. Somewhere behind me, Jong In watches me in silence. I can feel him shaking his head in disapproval however, as he intones,

“Minji, at least put your shoes in a safer place. I don’t want to help you looking for them later, the waves might devour them completely if you don’t keep them, you know.”

“Hn,” I nod timidly, my eyes still scanning the infinite waters before me. Jong In joins me a few seconds later, his right hand clutching my sandals. This seemingly little act of his surprises me, so I note,

“You’re holding my sandals.”

“What?” He looks at me briefly, before letting his eyes land on the strappy pair I was wearing not too long ago. “Well, the waters might eat them up. And you might want to wear them later when this is over.”

The way he speaks seems like he is in a place much farther from where we are staying. He sounds empty, like a hollow porcelain doll with nothing but air inside. It doesn’t take me long to realize that he isn’t with me because his thoughts are with Jina, as usual.

Somehow, the idea makes me feel like I have swallowed a handful of the beach’s saltwater and grainy sand. A growing sensation of being suffocated rises inside me, and for a moment I thought I would choke.

“J-Jong In,” I stutter, lips trembling a little  as I speak. “I don’t feel so good. I-I w-want t-to stay in t-the v-v-villa,”

This gets his attention, and almost immediately he throws his jacket over my shoulders, softly chiding me for coming near the sea the moment our private jet landed Jeju, thus making me feel ill.

He thought I was feeling nauseous of the environment. Little did he know, I was feeling sick because of something else.

--------

“Are you feeling better now?” He asks, voice sounding a little worried. The two of us are in the villa’s wide terrace that overlooks the sea. I am wearing his jacket now because the winds are becoming more restless, but Jong In doesn’t seem to mind the cold one bit. 

All of this brings another round of confusing feelings inside me. Why the sudden change in attitude?

“Jong In,” I say instead of answering his question. “Why are you doing this?”

“What?” He asks me again, totally oblivious to the mixed-signals he’s been sending me. “Are you asking me why I lent you my jacket? You’re feeling cold, right?”

“Yes,” I agree. “But you’re being so...nice and...when you could have just demanded me to stay inside a room for the rest of the trip or something.”

He finds my observation a little bit offensive. “Hey, it may be hard to believe, but I’m genuinely concerned about your well-being. And,” he moves closer to me as he quietly admits, “I...we may not like our parents forcing us to be together all the time, but I don’t want you to feel lousy for being stuck with me for the rest of the weekend. In short, I’m trying to be nice, ok?”

“Thank you. Then again, are you really going to do this? This weekend extravaganza your mother planned for the two of us when...”

When Jina is in Seoul, probably thinking of you?

I cannot find the courage to vocally express my train of thought to him, for it might rub him the wrong way.

He sighs all the same, as if he had heard what I was thinking. “We’re here now, Minji. We’re getting along quite nicely too, so it’s okay. What are two to three days of being together anyway?”

“It’s nothing,” I tell him, then I add, “for people like me who aren’t already in love with someone that is.”

“It’s nothing for people like me who believe that arranged marriages won’t work anyway too, Minji.” He winces at his own words and glances apologetically at me. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to...”

“No it’s perfectly fine,” I assure him, but deep inside his remark has already stung me. “It’s true. You love Jina. I just happen to be someone your mother found so she can stop you from being with her.”

“I’m sure you’re more than that, though,” Jong In says rather solemnly. “You might have not found the one for you yet, but what if you finally do after we got married? Assuming that we will...I mean, that would be difficult for you, too.”

“Maybe,” I say.

“Let’s change the topic a little,” Jong In suggests to me with a tentative smile. “Since we’re talking about marriage, Minji, what kind of family would you like to have with your future husband?”

“Huh?” I turn my head to take a good look at him. “Why do you want to know?”

Jong In only shrugs his shoulders at this. I fix my gaze on the sea once more, until Jong In prods me again, wanting to hear my answer.

“Come on, I bet you even have your future kids’ names planned out.”

“I do not,” I deny adamantly, but my cheeks start to burn because his assumption is correct. “Okay, fine, I want to have seven to eight children; I want three boys, three girls, and a set of twins right in the middle.”

Jong In’s eyes widen in shock. “EIGHT KIDS? That’s already an ARMY, Minji.”

“So what?!” I insist my plans to him, my cheeks now crimson-red. “I am an only child, Jong In. With only two cousins. It’s fxcking lonely, because I don’t even see them at all. My parents are almost never home growing up, and I never really had people I can call friends. Well, at least I have my loyal assistants, but you know how those people are still different from having a real family.”

“Okay, relax,” He laughs softly at me as he tries to calm me down. “I was just saying. Anyway, it’s cool that you want a big family. I don't think your parents nor your in-laws would let you have children that many, but well, good luck. I didn’t know you’re crazy about having tons of kids running around and calling you ‘mom’.”

“Well what about you, then?” I shoot back, and my question quickly shuts him up. I give him a victorious smile, enjoying the way he squirmed trying to answer my question. He makes a face, but then grows a little serious as he finally answers, “Three kids would be good. A boy for my firstborn, followed by a girl, then the youngest can either be another boy or another girl. I’d be the happiest man if that happens, and I swear to God I will be with them as they grow up, because I know how difficult it is to have almost non-existent parents who don’t give a other than making sure you are capable of maintaining or increasing the family’s assets.”

“Where do you want to live?” I ask again not really expecting an answer, but Jong In surprises me by responding, “Anywhere really, as long as I’m with Jina and our children.”

Silence.

Clearly he misses Jina, and this becomes more apparent the longer we talk, the longer we are together.

“Jong In,” I call his name, and my tone must have sounded so earnest for it etches another look of concern on his face.

“Would you like to go inside?” He offers. "Would you like to lie down and rest for a bit?"

“No,” I tell him, shaking my head slightly. “I just thought...hey, I’ll just go make a call to my mother. I almost forgot, she told me to call her as soon as we arrive here in Jeju.”

“Oh.” He says, his voice dubious. “Ok, I’ll just wait for you here. Call me if you need anything.”

I smile gratefully at him, before I head inside the villa, determined to make my plan materialize before the weekend ends.

I’m going to make a call, alright. I'm going to call Jina.