♥

“He’s not usually like that,” Sehun says, but I’m having a hard time believing him.

A part of me tries to, at least, but I cannot seem to erase what transpired between Jong In and I in the jacuzzi just yet. The change in the way he looked at Jina to the way he looked at me was drastic and quick, like a knife gutting my heart in one swift motion. It is a memory I feel will stay with me for a long time.

“Drink your hot chocolate, Minji,” Sehun reminds me once he notices that I am still preoccupied with what happened a few hours ago.  I am surprised by his kindness, mainly because I see him as one of Jina’s closest friends, and I expected him to stay true and loyal to her alone.

Just like Jong In.

Instead, Sehun approached me, with a blanket and a mug of steaming hot chocolate in hand, asking me if I was okay. I intended to spend the night in the living room -- not sleeping but only counting the hours until I could go home, so I welcomed his company just the same.

I could have left, actually, but I wanted Jong In to check up on me, too. Unfortunately, he doesn’t seem t0 have any plans of doing so.

Sehun must have read all of this as he studied my face, hence the ‘he’s not usually like  that’ comment he's just given me.

“Thank you,” I finally say, my voice shy. This is our first conversation together, and I honestly don’t know how to act around him. Does he dislike me, too? Does he think of me as some spoiled brat who only cares about getting what she wants?  I want to ask these seemingly trivial questions to him, but I don’t have the confidence yet.

“You’re welcome, Minji-ssi.” He leans against the huge sofa both us are sharing, staring at the big painting of Jong In’s mother when she was young hanged on the wall before us. Underneath it is a fireplace, unused and waiting for the winter months to finally come.

“Jong In’s mother is so beautiful.” Out of nothing to say, I keep the atmosphere between us from being dead by admiring the Lady’s portrait. It isn’t hard to do it really, for the Lady’s beauty was truly breathtaking when she was younger.

“I know,” Sehun agrees with a small smile. “She still is until now. If only her heart weren’t so cold, she would have been more beautiful than she already is.”

His observation startles me. I don't think I've heard anyone describe the Lady as openly as Sehun does. Or maybe I am just too afraid of her, so much, that I am paranoid that she might learn about this little conversation we have even before we can even return to Seoul.

The apprehension on my face doesn’t go unnoticed. Sehun laughs at me, amused by my subtle panicking. “Don’t worry so much, Minji. The Lady doesn’t waste her time on silly comments we have. She’s not one to make a fuss out of things that aren't related to her attempts on dominating the world.”

I can feel my heart sinking as he says this. Of course, everything the Lady does is solely for business. That’s why she’s rarely seen spending time with her family.

That’s why she was there when Jong In and I met for the first time.  It wasn’t about welcoming me to their family, it was about how our company can help their company go to even greater heights.

“Sehun,” I call his name, but stop because I realize that we’re not exactly friends yet. I don’t know. “Sehun-ssi,” I correct myself before taking another sip of my already lukewarm hot chocolate. “What do you think of me?”

“Hmm,” He seems to ponder my question for a moment. “You’re different, Minji-ssi. At first I thought I would...not like you.”

“Really?” It kind of hurt to hear him say this, but I choose pretend to be unaffected by his honesty instead. “Why? Is it because...”

“Because I thought you were one of those girls. Spoiled and entitled little rich girls that are too common in our...kind. When I saw you for the first time, I thought you were exactly just like them. Your beautiful clothes, the little things you own, the way you fix yourself...now as I spend time with you, I deeply regret associating you with them.” He sighs, then looks at me and says, “Jina is right, you are different. At first I thought she was just blind-defending you as she always does that even with people who are rotten to the core, but today, I guess I can say that I have seen the light. You’re not bad, Minji-ssi. Not at all. I am sorry.” His voice is filled with regret. "I shouldn't have judged you without getting to know you properly first."

“Apology accepted,” I try to crack a smile, but fail. Sehun shakes his head at this.

“You don’t have to forgive me so easily.”

“No, I don’t mean to look like I’m still angry. I just...sometimes I guess it’s a little frustrating, how I can’t seem to make friends, how I always look like I can’t do anything right...I...” Hot tears well in my eyes, which is embarrassing, but I can’t seem to stop myself from being an emotional fool this time.

“Don’t take Jong In’s words to heart,” Sehun advises me as he hands me his handkerchief. “If a person like me, who's only able to spend a half hour with you could tell you're not bad, I’m sure Jong In knows better, Minji-ssi.”

“I didn’t mean to hurt Jina,” I say as I take his handkerchief to wipe my tears away. The fabric is soft, and I could smell a hint cologne Sehun must be using in it. “I am trying so hard to make this less difficult, and not only because I like Jong In but because I want to be Jina’s friend, too.”

“Jina must have explained that to Jong In by now,” Sehun assures me. “Don’t worry, Minji. Jong In can be very emotional most of the time, but he’ll come around.”

“Sorry if I’m causing so much trouble, Sehun.”

“You don’t have to,” Sehun tells tells me, his tone patient and kind. “You didn’t do anything wrong, Minji-ssi.”

“But I really want to make amends - ”
 

“Sehun’s right, Minji,” Jong In’s deep voice interrupts our conversation. Both of us turn around to see Jong In emerge from the shadows as he approaches us; he’s put a new change of clothes on, and he looks more exhausted than ever. I face the Lady’s painting quickly, not wanting to see him even though every pore on my skin can feel him getting closer, and closer...

Sehun stands up even before Jong In could think of asking him to make some room for him. “You two should probably talk.” He simply says, fixing Jong In a meaningful stare before leaving the two of us alone.

“Thanks for the blanket and hot chocolate, Sehun-ssi,” I call out to him. He stops from walking, turns around and says, “It was a pleasure being with you, Minji-ssi. And oh, just call me Sehun from now on.”

“Just call me Minji, then,” I answer, raising my almost empty mug as a way of saying good-bye. He smiles at this and tips an imaginary hat at me, before finally disappearing into the darkness.

“So you’re friends now?” Jong In asks as he claims the space Sehun occupied a while ago. He moves closer to me, but I move a few inches away from him.
 

“What?” He looks at me as he continues lessening the space between us. I try moving away again, but the big armrest hits my side, stopping me.
 

“Hah,” Jong In laughs rather triumphantly as if I had lost in a game I didn’t know we were playing. “See, you can’t move away now, unless you want me to sit on your lap.”

“I will just leave you alone if that happens,” I retort, but my voice is all sad and low so it came off as a submissive response.

“You’re mad, huh,” Jong In states the obvious. He takes a pillow behind him and hugs it. “Don’t even try denying it.”

“Who says I’m mad?” I pretend to act nonchalant. “What happened tonight was my fault, right?”

He grows still upon hearing my biting words.

“It’s not your fault,” He says, careful not to further upset me. “Jina told me that she was the one who asked you to take a dip into the jacuzzi. She said she didn’t expect to get that exhausted, that she knows how much trouble she has put you through.” After he's said all the things he wanted to say, he looks at me to gauge my reaction.

“Minji?’

“It’s fine, Jong In,” I tell him. “I understand why you were so worried. Everyone panicked, including me. Perhaps if I were in your shoes, I would have done the same thing.” I try to take a sip of the hot chocolate Sehun has prepared for me, but the mug is already empty.

I haven’t even realized that I already drank everything.

“Do you want me to make you another mug of hot chocolate?” Jong In offers out of nowhere.

“No, it's fine," I try to play it cool. "I've had enough hot chocolate for the night, I think."

“Just say that you like Sehun’s so much that you’d rather have him make you another one, instead of lying to me.”

What in the world. I look at him in disbelief, stunned that he’s trying to pick a fight with me again. “Seriously, Kim Jong In?!” I exclaim. “Can you give me a break? Is it really that hard for you to stop pissing me off?!”

Jong In meets my outburst with a grin, and his reaction puzzles me a bit. I am expecting him to lash back at me, but he whistles and claps at my outburst instead.

“What now?” I ask irritatedly.

“Finally, we’re back to normal!” He rejoices. “The Minji I know has finally resurfaced!”

“I’m tired, Jong In,” I tell him. I really am. How come he doesn’t even notice that? How come he doesn’t even worry a little? I don’t wish for him to pay close attention to my moods as much as he does with Jina, but can’t he just give me a break?

“I know,” He answers back, his voice going soft now. “That’s why I’m out here asking you if you want another mug of hot chocolate. I noticed how much it made you feel better when Sehun brought you one. It's not like I could hand you another blanket and a handkerchief when Sehun already got them for you.”

“Were you watching us?” I want to know, because I am pretty sure that Sehun and I were alone in the living room a while ago.

“Yes,” He admits. “I was in the darker part of the room so you and Sehun couldn't really see me.”

“Why were you watching us?” I inquire again, but not really expecting him to answer. I know how much Jong in hated entertaining questions.

“Because I want to say sorry,” He says to me with feeling. “Sorry that I blamed you, that I didn’t try asking you what really happened, that I threatened you and that I didn’t help you the way I helped Jina.”

“Well, if you say so. Apology accepted.”

“You don’t have to forgive me so easily.”

“What, have you heard that part, too?”

“No,” My question leaves Jong In confused. “You mean Sehun apologized to you, too?”

“Yes. He said sorry for quickly dismissing me as a royal bxtch instead of trying to get to know me first.”

Jong In laughs at my rather poor retelling of my conversation with his best friend. “Sehun doesn’t use such words when describing women, Minji. That I am sure of.”

I roll my eyes in mild annoyance. “Of course he doesn’t. He said a bunch of proper terms but as I’ve said, I’m tired so I explained it to you in my own words.”

“Oh. Well, you are far from being a bxtch, Minji.” 

“You treated me like one a few hours ago,” I argue. A lot of times really, I want to add, but didn’t. “So if you’re saying that to get on my good side again, never mind Jong In. I understand where you were coming from.”

“Just let me make you some hot chocolate Minji,” He goes back to making me give his version of hot chocolate a chance. “I make better ones than Sehun. My version has marshmallows, and that stuff makes it infinitely better than his. Which makes me wonder, what is your favorite marshmallow shape and color, Minji? Do you like the star-shaped ones? Oh, I bet you like those little pink, heart-shaped ones most girls like, no?”

“I like my marshmallows in gold, their shape similar to that of a lion.” Jong In stares at me incredulously at this, but I ignore his expression and continue, “that’s how I roll, Jong In. So are you going to make me one, or nah?”

“Sehun's hot chocolate isn't even that good!” Jong In protests. “How come you were okay with it but have all this ridiculous demands when it comes to my own version?”

“Not really plain,” I tease. “His hot chocolate had a hint of cinnamon in it. And I think, a little bit of honey. It's pretty good, the best I've had in a while, actually."

“I absolutely detest Sehun’s hot chocolate. It's revolting. You, Minji, have no taste whatsoever.” Jong In huffs and crosses his arms, but I notice the corners of his lips quirking up a little; he's trying his best not to smile.

“I thought you were trying to say sorry?” 

“I am, but how can I when you wouldn’t even taste my hot chocolate?”

“Is that the only way you can apologize, dork?” I challenge him, already secretly enjoying his efforts to be on good terms with me again. “Really, Mr. Kim?”

“But I saw how the hot chocolate made you feel better,” He insists with a pout. “What else I could do?”

I think of asking him to stay with me in the living room and share stories with me for the rest of the night, but as beautiful that idea is to me, I think of Jina and how this might affect her if she sees us in the morning.

The smile in my heart fades as another plan emerges from my pool of thoughts. True, this weekend was meant for Jong In and I to stay closer, but I know, that the idea I have in mind is the best one.

For all of us.

“Minji?” Jong In calls my name, expecting my answer. “Tell me, how can I make it up to you?”

“Oh,” I say with forced cheerfulness as I stand up from the sofa. “Your sorry is more than enough, Jong In. Just...”

“...Just stay with Jina and make sure that she gets to rest well.”

Without waiting for an answer, I give him one last smile as I turn around to leave him, walking to the darkness that awaits me, the memory of Jong In and how he wanted to say sorry enough for me to get by.