[A/N: try reading this while listening to all of B.A.P’s R&B/Ballad songs repeatedly... Ugh, I hate crying!]

I opened my eyes at the light I could sense. Everything was white. Where am I? I thought as I sat up. I could feel… No, I can’t feel anything. I looked around me, familiarizing the things.

That’s when I realized I was in a hospital, in the E.R. to be exact. I shouldn’t be here. I looked around, finding some doors where I can get out. Luckily, I found an open one. I could walk fast but I don’t know why. The moment I stepped out the door, I saw my family there, mourning.

I don’t know why, so I called them. “Umma!” I called as I ran, but she didn’t even budge. “Appa!” I called, but it seems like he couldn’t hear me. “Hyungs!” I called, but they still didn’t move. I’m now standing in front of them, but why can’t they see me?

“Umma, appa, hyung! Can’t you see me? I’m right here! I’m alive! Please look at me! Why can’t you see me?!” I almost shouted as my family for not listening to me, but I still got no response from the either four of them.

“What do we do now? I don’t want to lose any of our sons! He’s my precious Jonguppie…” my umma cried, burying her face deep on my appa’s chest. Honestly, why couldn’t they see me? I’ve been standing here for a couple of minutes already and yet, they still don’t notice me.

“What are you saying, umma?! I’m all right! I’m fine! Why can’t you see me? Why can’t you hear me? Please, just look at me!” I asked furiously, almost pleading. “He’s gonna be okay, darling… Sshh… Shh…” my appa comforted her.

“How can you be so sure about that, appa? Jongup’s in a comatose state!” my eldest hyung said, burying his face onto his hands.

My whole world shattered in pieces. I’m not deaf, right? Comatose state? They must be joking! It’s not April fool’s, right??? I’m alive! I’m standing in front of them! Why can’t they see me??? I’m breathing! See? I placed my palm on my chest. No heartbeat.

I attempted to grab any of them, but I failed. I couldn’t touch them. No. I couldn’t speak to them. No. They couldn’t see me. They couldn’t hear me, or even feel me. How is this happening?! This is impossible!

“It’s my entire fault! I should’ve never taught him how to drive!” my eldest brother burst into tears. I wanted to go to him, comfort him, hug him, tell him I’m fine if I could. But, no, I can’t. Why? JUST WHY?!?!?!

“Hyung, you shouldn’t blame yourself for all of these! No one is to be blamed…” my second hyung said as calm as he could, but I could see the anxiety in his eyes, not to mention that tiny amount of tears b in it. I never saw him cry before. He was always the strongest one.

He walked over to a glass window, which I suppose, a room. “Jongup-ah… Please don’t die…” I hear him say. I stopped rubbing my hands against my eldest hyung’s back and walked over to my second hyung, looking at what he’s looking at.

My eyes widened in horror. It was me. Lying there. Tubes, monitor, medical apparatuses, bandages, everything… “This can’t be…” I shook my head in disbelief, staring at myself lying there, unconscious, but I’m here! I can’t understand! Why is this happening?

Earlier I was with Youngjae-hyung in the car and . . . wait a minute! Youngjae-hyung!

I ran as fast as I can, hoping that I would hear another family’s sorrow. After running a few rounds, I could hear a mother’s mourning. I recognize that voice, it was Youngjae-hyung’s mom. I entered the room and my eyes widened in shock for the second time.

It was Youngjae-hyung, covered in blood with his broken Polaroid still in his hand. But, how come he doesn’t have tubes like my body?

“I’m sorry Ma’am. We’ve done everything we can…” the doctor said in sorrow. “Please write there, Yoo Youngjae, nineteen years old, dead on arrival. Died at this 15^th of April 2013, 1:26 am.” The doctor said. Tears started forming in my eyes, at the same time, Mrs. Yoo started screaming.

“NO! NOT HIM! DON’T TAKE HIM AWAY FROM ME!!! PLEASE DO SOMETHING! ANYTHING!!!” Mrs. Yoo just shouted, kneeling on front of the doctor. Mr. Yoo and Youngjae’s hyung tried to pull her up but it was no use.

I ran to Youngjae-hyung and shook him, hoping he would wake up. “You’re joking, right, hyung?! Please, enough of these stupid pranks of yours! It isn’t funny!” I shook his body even though my hands would just go right through them as my tears started pouring down my cheeks.

“Please, hyung! You told me we’ll go to movies this weekend! You told me you’re gonna be the best singer in the world! You told me together we make our dreams come true, that we’d perform on the big stage, hyung! You told me that you’d keep that Daehyun guy protected! You promised me you’d help me find my friend, so please wake up! Hyung, please… Please, don’t go…” I gripped at the sheets, crying on his chest.

It was not long when I saw the nurses throwing the sheets over his body. I knew he wouldn’t wake up.

***

Youngjae-hyung had been moved to the morgue, so I got back to where my parents and brothers are. Youngjae’s and my family are currently comforting each other while I’m here, staring at my soul less body, hearing the heart monitor beeping slowly.

My body’s still breathing by the way I look at the fog that forms at that oxygen mask. My body’s still alive, unlike Youngjae-hyung… He’s… d-dead… I bit my lip as I recalled my memories with him.

***

After three days…

Three days. I’ve been looking after myself for three days with no sleep and no food. Maybe that’s the good thing about being me. I’m starting to getting used of me being like this. I can walk past walls now, and I’m starting to recover from grief of Youngjae-hyung’s death. I hope he does well in heaven.

He’s a good guy; he wouldn’t even hurt a fly. He’d only committed few sins, he never used words of profanity and he couldn’t lie. There’s no way he’d end up in hell.

I still remember when I first met him… It was such a hilarious event. He was there, all happy and cheery in the male’s bathroom, thinking no one was there but him. He was fanboying over this Daehyun guy, praising him, telling him how perfect he was.

I accidentally heard those things. Thinking he already left, I came out of the cubicle, but our eyes widened at the same time when we saw each other. “Please don’t tell him!” he used to ask me. And that’s when we became friends.

But now, that would be just a memory. Still, it will thickly remain in my heart.

“You are one lucky guy…” I heard someone said with a chuckle. Wait. Someone can see me? I looked behind me to see who it was, but I saw no one there. Must be my imagination… I thought and just shrugged my shoulders.

I turned to look at my body again but was caught in surprise when I saw someone I didn’t expect to see.

“Y-Youngjae-hyung!”

B-BABYz notes…

3^rd chapter and yet too much drama =-=… Comment and criticisms are appreciated as long as it would make my writings better ^^ More characters on the next chapters ^^

I TRIED TO ANGST...