In a way, my life at the moment felt like a hazzy dream. Ever since the boy with the fiery eyes came to work with me, I locked away all unpleasant feelings that I had once been feeling. But that didn't mean they were completely gone. In the past week, working with Jong In has been something that well, I couldn't really put into words. It was surreal. With each passing day, I still couldn't believe that familiar jingle of the bell and looking up to see him walking through, greeting me. I still couldn't believe him going into the back and coming back with his uniform signafying that yes he did indeed work here. With me. I still couldn't believe that as we worked, he would tell me anything and everything, saying he was glad that he had someone to really talk to. And I still couldn't believe that at the end of the day he would help clean up and after closing the shop he would ask me if he could walk me home. And of course I would reply sure.

It was like my output on life suddenly changed. Being with him was, no felt, right. But it didn't mean that my outcome changed. As much as I wanted to tell myself that all this wasn't happening because it was too perfect, I had to know that it was, and that soon it would all be gone. Nineteen days. I looked up at the calendar hanging on my wall, and crossed off another day.

That means I only have eleven left.

More or less. When we talked to the doctor, he said it wasn't like a time clock. There was no specific time or date. He said he could only give us a ruff guess of how much time I could have left before my vision completely fizzled out. I didn't know whether to be happy or sad because that meant at any moment my time could run out and then it would be over. I prayed it would be later. Sighing, I put down the marker and willed myself to stay optomistic.

That only means I have to treasure the time I have left.

I smiled at the thought and once again looked at the calendar, glad that today was saturday and that meant one thing.

No school.

But in a way, I was almost sad because that also meant not being able to see the guys, or my pack as they liked to call it. I once again smiled at the thought.

Pack

It was also surreal how openingly they added me to their group. As if it was meant to be. Since the day they introduced themselves to me, I became one of them. At school instead of walking through the door at the classroom and watching in envy at the group having so much fun, I was in that group. I was the one having a hand around my shoulder, laughing at something another said. I was the one sitting with them at lunch, and hanging out with them after school. I was one of them. I couldn't have been more grateful.

Glad that today I didn't have to work, I gave a quick stretch feeling oh so comfty in my pajamas. Giving a quick yawn, I tiedied up my room before heading down the hall and into the kitchen. I looked around and again no sign of my mother. Just a note and my pills.

I sighed.

I don't want to get used to this.

I didn't understand why recently she's always gone. Usually she's running around like a chicken with their head cut off looking for something. Now it was like she was organized which made no sense at all. Walking over to the cupboard, I grabbed a glass and went to the fridge grabbing the carton of milk. Pouring myself some, I took the pills and chugged them back, feeling them uncomfortable run down my throat. Just as I was putting down the glass though, I heard a knock on the door making my head tilt.

Who could that be?

Wondering if I should just ignore it and pretend not to be here, I heard a knock once again and decided to just man up and answer the door. Shuffling over to the front of the house, I gingerly placed my hand on the knob and turned it, pulling it towards me. I blinked. Looking up at the familiar face, I traveled my eyes downwards to his casual attire which consisted of a t-shirt, jeans and sneakers, back up to his face which held a comforting smile.

"Suho? What are you doing here?" I asked confused.

I hope I didn't sound rude, I was just so..confused.

Why was he here?

"Hey Kyungsoo, um I wanted to see if you maybe we could hang out, but..." He looked from my messy hair, down to my dishoveled pajamas and my bare feet, back to my face, only to turn and cough.

"But it looks like you just woke up. Um s-sorry to disturb you." He stuttered the last part and I smiled at his embarrasment.

"I would love to hang out." I stated and I watched as his face snapped back to me,

"Really?"

I nodded then gestured to my clothes,

"Yeah just give me a second to change."

He gave a small sure, and I turned ready to run to my room, but stopped when I noticed something.

"Aren't you going to come in?" I asked when I looked to find him still standing outside.

"Oh, yes of course." I watched in amusment as he fumbled around, clumsly taking off his shoes and closing the door.

Once he was done, I gestured him to follow me, and led him to the kitchen. Grabbing a glass from the cabinet, I set it down on the counter in front of him and asked,

"Can I get you something to drink?"

"Water's fine." He replied and I turned grabbing a bottle from the fridge.

Pouring him a glass, I put back the water and turned to him once again.

"Well, I'm going to change. Feel free to help yourself to watever." I gestured to the fridge and he nodded,

"Thanks."

Taking that as my cue to leave, I my heel and ran upstairs heading to my bedroom. Once inside, I quickly changed into a t-shirt and my favorite pair of black jeans, scurrying over to the bathroom to fix my hair. Finished, I did the quick once through to make sure everything looked ok and trugged my way back down the stairs. Though, I must have went to quickly because as I entered the kitchen my head began to spin and I felt myself slip to one side. Once again feeling that familiar pain pound through my skull, I closed my eyes and clutched my head. After a couple of seconds, when I felt the pain start to slip away, I blinked my eyes open and looked up to find a very worried Suho looking down on me.

"Kyungsoo, you alright?" He asked and I blinked.

I've never seen Suho up this close before, and truthfully I didn't mind what I was seeing. He was good looking, and I felt my gaze shift downwards taking in that he had his arms wrapped around me in support to hold me up. Feeling his heat mix with mine, I felt myself blush and I looked back up at him.

"I-I'm fine, just moved too quickly that's all." I muttered and he sighed,

"Just be careful, I wouldn't want you to get hurt." He stated and I blushed again.

He must have thought about his words, because seeing me blush he also blushed. Unwrapping his arms from me, he took a step back and coughed,

"Wh-what I me-meant was that. You-you're my friend, so-so I care about you."

I just nodded and watched as he grabbed the glass which laid on the counter still and drowned it. Taking a second, he turned back to me,

"You ready?"

I nodded again and with that we headed out towards the door. Putting on our shoes, we opened the door and once outside, I locked the door behind me. Skipping down the porch, we began to walk down the sidewalk and I asked,

"So, what are we doing today?"

I looked at him curiously and he just turned, looking back at me,

"Is there anything you would like to do?"

I thought about it for a moment.

Something I would like to do.

"A movie." I blurted and he looked at me.

"You want to see a movie?"

I bit my lip and looked down. That was one of the things I was definitly going to miss once I couldn't see. I loved watching movies.

"Um yeah. It's been a while since I've been."

I looked up at him and seeing his look I quickly added,

"I mean we don't have to if you don't want to. I'm fine with whatever."

He shook his head,

"No, I just..A movie sounds perfect."

He smiled at me and I smiled in return. Heading down the street, we jumped onto the bus and I frowned when I saw how crowded it was. Moving towards the middle, we were sandwhiched between people and as the bus went I tried my best to handle it. Halfway through the ride, and the continous getting bumped into, my head began to swim and I blinked. Suho noticing this, moved so he was right next to me, and looked at me with worry,

"You alright?"

I gave a slight nod,

"I-I don't like crowds."

Moving so that his bodied shielding mine, he brought down his hand and found mine giving it a light squeeze. Shocked, I looked up at him and found him looking the other way. Feeling myself blush, I smiled at the kind gesture and before I knew it the bus was coming to a stop and it was our turn to get off. Stepping off the bus, I was grateful for the breath of fresh air and turned towards him,

"Thanks."

He just shook his head, and we headed towards the theater. Once there, we bought our tickets and food, and slipped into the darkening room. Taking our seats, the commercials started to play and I couldn't contain my excitment.

"Someones excited." Suho chuckled seeing the look on my face.

I just turned to him,

"Who wouldn't be? Those little minions are hilarious."

Noticing the movie starting, I quickly turned my attention back to the screen and was met with an already funny intro. For the next hour and a half, I kept laughing, and giggling, and I probably looked like a totally idiot to Suho, but I didn't care, I was too happy. When one of the scenes changed, I took that as my chance to look, and I glanced at Suho wondering if he was enjoying the movie as much as I was. And to my excitment, he was. I watched as he looked up at the screen, and as he laughed, his eyes took on a curve along with his mouth. His face, usually stern and knowing, was now lit up much like a childs. I smiled. Noticing my gaze, he turned and caught me staring. My eyes went wide, and I snapped my head back towards the screen. Feeling his stare, I just ignored it and laughed when a minion got hit with something. Soon, way too soon in my opinion, the credits were playing and people were getting up leaving. Picking up our trash, we exited the theater and walked out, throwing it out along the way.

"I would ask if you liked it, but judging on how much you laughed, I think you did." Suho chuckled with his hands in his pocket and I gave him a light shove,

"Oh stop pretending. You know you enjoyed it as much as I did."

He titled his head from side to side,

"Maybe."

I laughed. As I laughed though, a pain shot through my head and I bit on my lip. Coming to a halt, I clutched my head, and as quickly as the pain came it faded. Feeling a hand on my shoulder, I looked up to the worried face,

"Kyungsoo, you ok?"

I gave a small smile,

"Yeah, sorry about that."

He looked at me with a stern gaze, before his eyes traveled lower and he in a breath.

"D.O you're bleeding."

I tilted my head confused and brought up my hand touching my lip. Wincing from the pain, I looked at my finger and found blood.

"Oh."

Grabbing my hand, he led me to the closet place, which happened to be a little cafe. Walking in, he sat me down, and walked away, going to the lady at the counter. I watched as he said something to her and she nodded, handing him a cup of ice water. I watched as he then went to the side, grabbing some napkins, before walking back over to me. Setting the cup and napkins onto the table, he sat down, dipping the napkin into the water and turning towards me. Leaning forward, he placed the cool wet napkin onto my lip cleaning it up.

"So are you going to tell me what happened back there?" He asked with a tilted eyebrow.

What to say...

"I get headaches a lot so I'm used to it." I shrugged and this time he looked at me,

"Headaches?"

I held my breath wondering if he would buy it.

"I guess that makes sense."

Whew he bought it.

"Here hold this." He stated and I did what he told me to.

Holding the napkin against my lip, I watched as he got up and once again walked to the lady at the counter. This time though, he handed her something and when he walked back to me I tilted my head,

"What did you hand her?"

He sat down,

"Money."

"Money, for what?"

"For the food I order silly. You kinda half to pay for it."

I just nodded,

"What did you order?"

He just looked at me with a small smirk,

"It's a surprise."

__________

The surprise turned out to be cake and we sat there in the cafe for I don't know how long just eating and talking. It was nice. We laughed, and talked, and laughed again. The day quickly faded into night and although the cake was long gone, we still sat there enjoying each others company. Well that is until I was asked something unexpected.

"Kyungsoo. Can I ask you something?"

"Shoot."

I watched as he shuffled in his seat,

"What do you think of me?"

I didn't think twice,

"I like you."

I saw him beam,

"You're good looking, you're smart, and you're super nice. I think you're an amazing friend."

I watched confused as his smile faded,

"Is something wrong?" I asked wondering if I said something wrong.

I watched him shake his head, and he quickly got up taking away the dirty plate. Walking back to me he asked,

"You ready?"

And I nodded, getting whisked out of the cafe. Walking down the sidewalk, it was silent and I couldn't understand what happened,

"Suho, are you alright?"

He shrugged,

"Me? I'm perfectly fine why?"

I came to a stop and he walked a couple a feet before noticing my lack of movement. Turning he looked at me,

"What?"

I just stared at him,

"Did I say something wrong?"

I watched him sigh, looking around. Finally after a minute he looked back towards me, and took a few steps now standing directly in front of me.

"Is that how you seem me, D.O?"

I tilted my head.

"As a friend, is that all?"

"Suho, I-" I felt my breath caught when Suho grabbed my face into his hands.

I looked up at him shocked, all I could do was blink. I watched as he looked at me, his eyes boaring into me and before I had the chance to ask him what he was doing, he closed his eyes and leaned forward. Something soft landed on my lips, and I blinked realizing that that soft thing was Suho's lips.

Suho's lips are on mine..

Then I thought about it.

Suho's kissing me.

My eyes went wide and I unconciously closed my eyes. Standing there, with Suho's lips softely against mine, after a minute I felt the pressure leave me and I blinked my eyes open, seeing Suho looking at me. Taking a moment to register what actually just happened, I placed my hands on his chest and pushed him away.

"Y-you just k-kissed me." I stuttered my head going fuzzy, but I knew it wasn't from the pills.

"Kyungsoo. The truth is I like you, I have like you." He stated and I looked at him,

"Y-you like me?"

"I have since the first day you were introduced to our group."

I shook my head and took a step forward placing my hand on his shoulder,

"Suho, I- I like you too, but.."

"But not in that way." He finished and I just nodded,

"I'm sorry. I think you're an amazing person, but I just don't feel that way, towards you."

He looked at the ground,

"So, you like someone else?"

I bit my lip,

"Yeah, I do. I'm sorry."

His head shot up,

"No, don't be sorry. It's what you feel. I'm just glad I went for it you know."

"So, no hard feelings between us?" I asked worried.

I didn't want to loose him.

"Of course not Kyungsoo."

I hugged him,

"I'm glad, I like you too much."

He just chuckled and with that we continued down the side walk.

_____

Dropping me off, I waved goodbye, and once he was out of sight, I shoved the door open and headed upstairs. Entering my bedroom, I plopped down in my chair, earliers incident filling my head. I touched my lip at the memory of Suho's lips on mine and although it felt good, it didn't feel..right. Sighing, I pulled out my journal, not really knowing what to say,

December 4, 2013

Dear Diary,

Today was the day of the unexpected.

I learned that you really don't know how people feel.

And even though they may feel a certain way about you,

You may not feel the same.

I turned down a confession today.

From a close friend.

And I'm thankful that even though I turned it down,

I didn't loose them as a friend.

But coming home I realized.

What if the same thing happens to me?

What if I ask him and he turns me down?

Just like I turned the other down.

What if I think he likes me?

Just as the other thought I liked him.

And he really doesn't.

Will we end up still friends?

Or will he completely leave me?

-Do Kyungsoo