I groaned a little, my head still pounding.

Mam, looking at his records I'm guessing you understand whats going on.

What do you mean his records? What's going on?

My head shifted to the side, the noise of another males voice stirring me.

Y-yes, I know, but.. but what happened? Why is he here?

Mom? I was half way out of it, but I could still her the tremor in her voice.

We were told that he passed out on the street.

Oh my!

Mom, you're here?

Wait, what do you mean you know, know what? Is it..is it his headaches?

I felt my body go rigid which the familiar voice.

No. No. No. That couldn't be Jong In right? Don't tell me he's here.

Headaches?

The doctor gave a small cough.

Young man, they're much worse than that. The..condition..he has,

What condition?

No, please don't say it. Don't let him know. Please don-

My head dropped to the side, darkness once again taking over me.
_________

Everything was pitch black and the pain once again brought itself forward. Groaning, I brought my hand forward clutching my head, and gaining concious I slowly sat up, my body feeling as if it were made out of bricks. Feeling a hand on my shoulder, I blinked my eyes, opening them and watched as the figure in front of me went from blurry to somewhat stable,

"M-mom?"

"Oh my, Sweety are you alright? I was cooking at home when I got a call from the hospital saying you had been admitted."

I rubbed the side of my head,

"What- what happened?"

I tried to remember what happened. All I remembered was walking and then getting a phone call...then having a sharp pain and bam, blackness. My mother squeezed my shoulder giving it a light massage,

"They told us that you had been walking when you collapsed."

I slowly nodded. Remember that I heard a males voice, I looked around the room frantically and I didn't know whether to be relieved or displeased that I didn't see the boy with the fiery eyes.

"What's wrong honey?"

"Boy. The. The boy. He, was-was he here?"

She furrowed her brows before jumping up,

"Oh, you mean that young man Kai?"

She looked all around,

"He was here?"

Turning back she shook her head,

"Oh Kyungsoo he was so worried. He kept pacing around and I thought he was going to pass out himself. Maybe he just went outside for some fresh air."

I felt my throat tighten and my heart contract.

So he had been here, which means that he- he...

"Mom, di-did he hear it?"

I looked up at her desprately and catching my gaze she gave a small frown, leaning closer,

"Oh sweety, I'm sorry, but it should be fine. I'm sure that he was just a bit frazeled- but he-he'll be back soon."

I clutched my chest, my eyes darting around everywhere and my head feeling like it was swimming in a storm. Also feeling like I was going to throw up, I took in as many deep breathes as I could and upon hearing the door slide open my heart stopped momentarily. I looked up while my mother turned and both our eyes landing upon the doctor.

"Ah, he's awake. Well that's a good sign."

Walking over, he checked my signs and my eyes,

"How are you feeling, have any pain still?"

I shook my head.

"Well that's good. Everything looks fine. Luckly no bruising on any of the lobes from falling, or any brain damage. However,"

He turns towards my mother, while patting my shoulder,

"Due to his condition and the minimal amount of time left judging by his tests, I don't think he should go anywhere unattended anymore just incase something like this were to occur again."

Squeezing my shoulder he got up,

"Like I said he was lucky, but next time it might be the stairs, or worse, so please try to keep your eye on him. And you,"

He pointed to me,

"No more going solo, ok?"

I nodded and he turned back towards my mother,

"Mam if we can go through some of the paperwork and then we can check him out."

My mom also nodded,

"Of course."

Heading out of the room, my mother followed and once hearing the door shut, I drew in a deep breath, closing my eyes.

It's really happening isn't it Kyungsoo?

Well it's not like I could have avoided it, I just for some crazy delusional reason thought..

Thought what Kyungsoo that it would be magically fixed?

I shook my head at my stupid thoughts. Since I met Jong In, I've felt ten times better and the pain became second in my mind.

I guess he diverted my pain.

Jong In.

I felt my heart clutch, wondering where he went.

Probably ran as fast as he could when he heard the news.

Hearing the door slide open, I opened my eyes, lifting my head,

"Mom is eve-" I was cut off mid-sentence when I found the person walking towards me was not my mother, but infact of the boy I've been waiting/dreading to see.

"Jong In?" It came out more like a question, but he didn't answer, instead he just walked over sitting on the side of my bed.

For a moment he just sat there in silence, while I stared at him, my mind going blanck and my body shutting itself off.

"So."

Upon hearing his voice, I was brought out of my paralysis, and I blink waiting for him to continue,

"How long?"

I furrowed my brows tilting my head,

"How long what?"

I knew that was the wrong answer since his face contorted in pain, anger seeming to flow itself out of him,

"Kyung, don't play stupid. Ho-How long have you known you were going b-bl-bli-"

"Blind." I finished for him.

He was shaking and unconciously I reached out, placing my hand over his. However, the moment my hand came in contact with his skin, he rectracted making me in a breath.

He..

In that moment, I felt my heart crack just a little. Such a small gesture, but it felt as if he had stabbed me.

"Jong In..." I whispered and he shook his head.

I watched as the boy in front of me, mr.popular, mr. dance machine, the boy with fiery eyes, the boy of all confidence seem to look fragile, as if he could break at any moment. Transfixed, my heard cracked even more upon seeing his face filled with pain and I was dumbfounded when I watch tears slide down his cheeks.

"Blind. You- you were suffering all this time and yet I-"

He clutched his head not caring about the tears, instead he shook from side to side,

"Your headaches. I'm so stupid- how could I- how could I not notice-"

I reached out again, clutching the side of his arm hoping he would stop shaking frantically,

"Jong In, it's not your fault. I'm the one who-"

He cut me off, his eyes locking with mine his gaze so piercing I felt as if he could see right through me, yet for that very intensity I couldn't look away.

"You. Why didn't you tell me to begin with! How could you keep something like this-"

He gestured to all around us,

"A secret. I understand maybe something trivial, but this..."

He grabbed my face between his hands making me gasp from the sudden action,

"Your going blind Kyungsoo. You won't be able to see anything at all. The sky, the ground, colors.. and me. You won't be able to look at me anymore."

I felt a tear slide down my own cheek, and I closed my eyes embracing him for just a second. Placing my hands over his, I opened my eyes once again looking at him,

"Jong In, even when I go blind I could never forget a face like yours."

He seemed taken off and for a second he looked at me, his eyes seeming to reflect his inner battle he was having with himself.

"I can't.."

I can't...

With that simple frase my whole body went ice cold and my heart seemed to go completely still. I felt his hands slip from my face and my arms dropped weightless and my gaze seemed to catch something far out of sight. I felt as if I had detatched myself from my body and for a moment was lost.

"This is too much for me Kyungsoo. I don't think I can...I don't think I can handle this."

My tears seemed to steadily flow, my breath frantically escaping and entering my mouth,

"I thought- I thought you loved me?" I whimpered and he shook his head,

"I do Kyungsoo, and I always will. But this, I don't think I can bear looking at you knowing that I was lied to, that I was oblivious."

I couldn't take it anymore and I threw my arms on the bed my anger taking over me,

"And if I did what the hell would it change Jong In? Huh, would you have fixed it? Huh, your love would have magically made me see forever and we would live happily ever after?!!! What difference would it have made? Tell me!!! Tell me, what would change??"

He stood there speechless and I took that moment of silence as my answer looking across the room out into space.

"Still, you should have told me. I feel so stupid."

I snorted, looking up and locking gazes with him.

"Maybe I could handle their pity, others pity towards me, but you Kai. I could never handle you looking at me with those eyes."

I can't handle the boy with fiery eyes looking at me with pity, with sadness,

"Not like the way you're looking at me right now."

I watched as he looked away, his face tight and I dropped my gaze, surprised that tears were still flowing. Another moment passed with silence holding, before the sound of a door sliding open made us both turn to look at somone walking in.

"Mrs. Do." "Mother"

She looked between us and noticing the awkward tension she stated lowely,

"Um, I finished with the doctor and he says whenever you're ready."

I nodded and Jong In bowed,

"Sorry about earlier Mrs. Do. I'll be leaving."

She looked at him with a awkward smile,

"No worries Jong In, thanks for your concern over my son."

He didn't even glance at me as he walked passed her and out the door. Once it was shut, I stared at the door.

It happened.

I couldn't breathe,

Does that mean it's all...over?

Upon the thought, if even possible even more tears began to flood down my face, and I couldn't contain it anymore. I let myself fully give in and my body caved, shaking, my face contorting as tears drained down.

"Oh Kyungsoo."

I felt my mother run over, embracing me and I clutched onto her,

"Mom it hurts so much. It hurts so so much."

"Oh honey it's alright. I'll always be here for you no matter what."

I knew she probably thought I was crying over my rapid loss of eyesight and oblivious to my true pain of loosing the man I loved, but still I took her comfort.

The man I loved.

"Mom it hurts so much."

Jong In.

"Why won't it stop?"

My first love.

"My heart its in so much pain."

He had just walked out on me without a glance.

"Will this pain go away?"

I cried until I felt no more tears coming out.

We left the hospital and when we got home, I walked straight up stairs, ignoring her calls. I opened my room, shutting the door behind me and dropped down into my chair. Running my face through my hands I took in a deep breath, my eyes landing on the last thing I wanted to see.

I picked it up in my hands running my thumb over the familiar tan boy who was soaking wet and, though I thought it was impossible, I felt another tear slide down my cheek, his face from early flooding my mind. Noticing my journal laying there, I picked it up, scimmaging through the pages.

Mr popular. Jong In. Do you think he will notice me?
..

I can't believe it, he asked me to join his group. Me. The lone wolf. I'm finally going to be apart of something!!

...

I can't even breath. Him and I, the boy with fiery eyes will be working together. God is this fate?

...

Am I dreaming? This can't be real. Did he really ask me out? Am I really going out with Jong In?

...

Today was the first day we held hands. The way his calloused hands feel against mine, I think I've memorized every line and scratch. It was so simple, yet it felt so...right and perfect. Please God let this last forever, even though I know it won't.

...

I didn't think I could get any happier, but we..ahhhhh we kissed. It was so magical and amazing and the way his lips flet against mine...I could die happy right at this moment. And the way he looked at me, I feel as if I'll melt under his touch. Everytime he looks at me, I feel as if I'll be captured.

...

I'm captured.

I fell in love with him,

the boy with the fiery eyes,

Jong In.

I clutched onto the notebook my sobs growing. Unable to take it anymore, I shoved the strip into the notebook shoving the notebook into the drawer and slamming it shut. Feeling my heart pound, my body took control over itself and the next thing I knew the anger from earlier was coming back, building up, and I was shoving my books off my desk hearing them slam against the floor. I screamed and kicked them around, the papers flying every which way, but I didn't care, my sadness was turning to overflowing anger. Grabbing more things I could get my hands on, I threw them and once everything was pretty much strew I threw myself on my bed, kicking and screaming in the bed sheets before my sadness caught up and tears once again began to flow. Shoving my face in my pillow, I let it all out probably the hundredth time that day and feeling emptied out I passed out.

For once I was thankful for the darkness to take over.