*ALICE’S POV*

“Maddie, do you see my wallet?”

                “You put it in your sling bag ten seconds ago, Nate.”

                “Baby girl, you have my iPod, right?”

                “No, Hee, Kyu has it.”

“Yah! Alice-noona, I don’t have Heechul hyung’s iPod. And where’s my Starcraft CD, do you see it?”

“Yes you do, Kyu, I saw that damn iPod laying around in your back pack before we left the hotel and I suggest you give it back to Hee before he splintered your Nintendo Wii in half. And by the way, you left that Starcraft CD back at the hotel, just get it back after the show.”

Not once did I take my eyes off my laptop as I said all those things, and quite frankly, I wasn’t really aware of what I was saying also, those answers just sort of… came out. But I couldn’t help but to look up as I heard the guys started snickering softly, and they were indeed directed at me.

                “What?”

I asked in general direction at the guys, hoping for at least an answer as to why I was suddenly the object of their amusement again but like always, that only made them even laugh more freely at me. I swear, I love these guys to bits but sometimes they’re so weird, I couldn’t keep up. I looked at Silver, who was sitting beside me on the couch for some form of information and to my surprise, he looked back at me and giggled too. I rolled my eyes and focused back on my laptop, muttering to myself but was obviously directed at Silver,

                “Traitor. I thought you’re on my side.”

“I am, Alice, it’s just that… you know, you might as well just be our personal assistant with the way you seem to know the whereabouts of everything we have.”

“Well, I can’t help it, I’ve been around you guys for too long and I’m not gonna lie and pretty it up but every single one of you clowns are such a ing mess!”

Silver just blew up laughing at what I said while I could just grin and stole glances at him every once in a while. He sure is cute when he laughed like that. Gaahhh! What the hell was I thinking? Okay, shake that off, shake that off. You’ve just been single for too long now, Alice. Yeah, I bet that’s the reason. Anyways, everyone was already at the dressing room backstage for the show tonight. The guys just finished their rehearsals and had a few hours of rest before the make up and wardrobe team finished their preparation and gets the guys ready for the show. I was going through my archives of photos of the guys from throughout this tour like usual when suddenly Silver exclaimed,

                “Alice…”

                “Huh?”

Silver suddenly took my chin in his hand and slightly pulled my face closer to his. For a split second there I really thought he was gonna kiss me or something and I could already feel my face started heating up and my heart suddenly hammered against my chest in an irregular pulse. But as it turned out he was just examining my face. Good god, I need to get a grip. It’s just that… this past week have been sort of intense, for lack of a better word, with Silver and I. We started spending more and more time together and at first it was me and Silver plus some of the other guys but then the number gradually lessen and I found myself being alone with Silver for numerous times this week. The thing is, it almost scared me how much I started to enjoy and become dependant on those times alone that we spent together and now, I somehow started to subconsciously look for him whenever he’s not around. , this can’t be happening. What happened to those I promises that I made to myself that I won’t take anything between Silver and I further than us being friends?

                “Are you still having trouble sleeping? You practically have black bags under your eyes now.”

Silver’s concerned voice shoved me -first back to reality. He had let go of my face and was now looking at me with worry etched on his face that’s weirdly enough resembled the look that Nate always gave when he’s concerned about me. You know that feeling when you’re asleep at a cold night and you could feel yourself getting cold but you couldn’t really wake yourself up to do anything about it cause you’re too tired but then someone covered you with a blanket and suddenly you can sleep well? That’s what I was feeling when saw that look on Silver’s face. It truly touched me to see that, well… he cared that much about me. I honestly haven’t got this kind of attention other than from Nate. God, Silver, do you know what you’re doing to me?  

“Well… sort of. I seriously have tried every thing from that herbal tea that Leeteuk gave me and even that weird ginseng thing that Shindong has that’s supposed to be really relaxing but none of them works.”

“Oh. Is something on your mind, then?”

Damn. He got it right in the bull’s eye. Then at that exact moment, Yeah Yeah Yeah’s Maps was suddenly heard from my Blackberry, signaling that someone was calling me. Phew, saved by my Blackberry. I murmured a quick ‘I need to get this’ at Silver and stood up from the couch and walked towards the door, looking for some quiet place to take the call. It was Aunt Grace after all; I don’t wanna be distracted for this call.

                “Hi, Aunt Grace, missing you like a cat misses its thread ball.”

Aunt Grace’s light laugh was echoing on the line and that made me miss her even more. This was the first summer that I spent away from her and just like she initially feared, it wasn’t quite the fun and breezy summer that I thought it was gonna be.

                “I miss you too, baby girl. How are things going over there?”

                “Well, the tour’s been really fun and everything…”

                “Uh-oh. What’s the ‘but’?”

And all hell broke loose. Well, not really, I was just being a drama queen. But it might as well have, since now I finally told Aunt Grace about everything’s that been going on. Yeah, surprisingly, I managed to hide everything from Aunt Grace, which wasn’t really easy considering that like Nate, she knew me like the back of her hand. Initially I didn’t tell her anything cause I didn’t want her to worry about me. From what I heard from Nate’s dad, her job is already quite demanding these days and I seriously didn’t want to add any more burdens on her cause… I already think of her as my own mother. But then as everything started to go down, I couldn’t help but finally let a little of my selfishness take control, I just couldn’t hold it from her any longer. So then I told her everything, from how Tiffany’s been treating me and how Nate seemed oblivious to the fact that I never spoke with his girlfriend and her group of friends, and… I also told her about Silver and how I’m starting to feel that my defenses started to break down just cause he’s been really persistent and shown nothing but affection towards me. It’s honestly a bit too much for me to handle.

“I just wanna ask you this, now, Alice. If you can’t tell Siwon how you really feel about him and you can’t tell him about how his girlfriend’s been treating you either and you are absolutely positive that Siwon will never look at you other than being his best friend, why are you insisting on pushing Eunhyuk away when all he’s shown you so far is that he cared about you? And I gotta add, you like him for that too, right?”

I felt my breath got hitched in my throat as Aunt Grace asked me that. To tell you the truth I haven’t exactly look at the situation the way Aunt Grace saw it.

“It’s just that… Nate looks so happy with Tiffany and I just don’t wanna ruin it. And I have a feeling by telling Nate how I really feel about him or the way his girlfriend’s been treating me, it’ll do just that.”

“And about Eunhyuk?”

“I don’t wanna hurt him, Aunt Grace. If at the end of the day the whole thing with Colby and Xander happened again, I don’t think I can face him or any of the guys ever again.”

I could hear Aunt Grace let out a sigh as I mentioned the name of my two ex-boyfriends. I couldn’t possibly let what happened with them also happened to Silver and I. Whether I want to admit it or not, I care about him and also the rest of the guys too much to let that happen.

“Baby girl, I understand your intentions and why you don’t wanna hurt anyone but… don’t you think you’re putting too much on yourself by doing all of this?”

“If that’s what it takes for everyone to be happy.”

“Everyone but yourself. I just can’t see you keep doing this, Alice, it’s not good for you.”

“But I can’t see any way other than this, Aunt Grace, I can’t.”

“Alice, before you leave I may have told you that you just need to wait for the right moment to tell Siwon about how you feel, but if this is the way the situation is I just think that… it’s probably time for you to let go and move on.”

I couldn’t say anything to that, I really couldn’t.

“I… well, I need to really look into that, then. Um… Aunt Grace, I gotta go, the show’s about to start and they need me.”

“Okay then, I’ll call you later on. You take care, I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Then I hung up the call and shoved my Blackberry back into the pocket of my black studded blazer. Okay, I may have lied a little bit when I said that the show’s about to start but I honestly can’t keep hearing what Aunt Grace is telling me. Not because I don’t agree to it or that it doesn’t make sense. I didn’t wanna hear more about it cause deep inside I know that’s what I should and need to be doing. But I don’t think I’m quite ready to do it just yet. How can you just let go of a feeling that’s been there for most of your life just like that? Then as I was about to walk back into the guys’ dressing room, someone called my name. I turned my head around and to my surprise; I saw that Tiffany was walking over to where I was standing. Since she and her group joined the tour a couple weeks back, this was actually the first time that she addressed me directly, as in really call me by my name instead of just saying ‘hey’ or even throwing those unfriendly glares towards me.

                “Yeah?”

I said as I looked at her curiously, trying to figure out what she was up to.

                “We need to talk. But not here.”

                “Oookay.”

Tiffany turned around and started walking towards one of the female restrooms around there and I really had no choice but to follow her. Now I’m really curious about what she was doing and quite frankly, I started to get a bad feeling about it. We went inside the restroom and Tiffany made sure that no one was there before turning back to me and suddenly put her hands on my shoulders and pushed me until my back hit the tiled wall of the restroom.

                “Tiffany, what the hell are you doing?!”

I exclaimed angrily at her, cause what she did really was uncalled for. I was about to say something further but then she beat me to it.

“I can see what you’re trying to do, Alice, and I can tell you right now that you need to just shove it up your cause it’s not gonna work.”

“What the ? What are you talking about?!”

“You can stop yourself out to Eunhyuk oppa thinking that it’ll somehow make Siwon notice you, but he won’t. In case you haven’t noticed, he’s my boyfriend and he’s mine, has been for the past four months.”

I seriously was lost, I couldn’t figure out where she was going with it.

                “Tiffany, I really don’t understand what you’re trying to say.”

“Oh, cut the crap, I know you like Siwon, you’re probably in love with him with the way you’re practically drooling over him whenever he’s around.”

“What… I don’t…”

“Oh keep stammering like that and then I’ll know that it’s really true, you’re in love with him.”

It really felt like I was back in junior high again, when those boys had me backed up in a corner before saying what a weirdo I am and started to beat me up. Even though the one in front of me right now is only one girl which I could most definitely take down, I was suddenly weakened; weakened by the fact that she didn’t need to call me a loser to truly make me feel like a loser, and the sheer and painful truth that she was putting out. She was spot on when she said that I was in love with Nate and that he was hers. Those were the only things that rang clear to me.

“I’m telling you this now and I’m only gonna say this once. Back off! He doesn’t nor will he ever have feelings for you and think of you as more than his friend. I don’t give a damn if you’re his best friend or any of those crap, I just don’t want you to bother us. He’s mine. And if you stay the hell away from us then maybe I won’t tell anyone that you’re in love with Siwon and save yourself the humiliation. Get it inside your thick and idiotic skull, you loser!”

And with that, she her heels and left me there. Both my ears were buzzing and it had nothing to do with my hearing. My hands started to shake and my eyes started burning as tears began falling. It hurts.

*EUNHYUK’S POV*

I smiled to myself as I was going through the thousands of photos on Alice’s laptop that she took throughout this tour. This girl is really talented, I’m not kidding. I guess both me and the band got something really good when Alice joined us for this tour. The band finally has a more than decent photographer and me… well, I have someone that always made me smile and get excited every day. Even though there’s always this voice inside me that’s telling me that she indeed refused when I asked her to go out with me but somehow that voice got smaller and smaller with each day that I spent with Alice. Ever since that night at the restaurant when I caught her blushing as I purposely touched her cheek, I was almost positive that the feelings I have for her wasn’t exactly unrequited after all. That’s why I didn’t just back off and leave her alone, instead I just kept pursuing her. And the days that followed after that made me even surer of it. It’s just those little things she does that made me realize she may be feeling something towards me, the way she always smiled shyly every time I showed her just a little bit more attention than normal, the way she nervously looked away when I caught her looking at me. Seriously, I wish she knows how she’s driving me crazy with what she’s doing.

                “Eunhyuk-ah, have you seen Alice?”

I looked up from the laptop settling on my thighs as Teukie hyung asked me that.

                “Uh… she went out to take a call, or something. What’s up?”

                “Oh, nothing, it can wait.”

                “Don’t tell me you’re gonna ask her about something you have that you think is lost.”

                “Well… sort of.”

I could just shake my head and laugh lightly at Teukie hyung who grinned widely when he said that. Seriously, the guys now had become somewhat dependant on being taken care of by Alice. For the past few weeks, she had somehow taken the role of our caretaker, or something; making sure that we packed our bags well, stick to our schedules, and even woke us up for breakfast sometimes. I mean, yeah, we have our own team for those little things but it’s just… different when Alice did them. The fact that she’s been our good friend for quite a long time just made it felt like the true affection is there when she did those things; she did them because she cared about us, not because that’s her job. Hmmm, maybe that’s why she hasn’t been getting a good sleep, she’s too busy taking care of us.

                “Aish, stop burdening that girl so much, she’s our photographer, not our personal assistant.”

                “Aigo, Teukie hyung, watch out, Alice-noona’s boyfriend is pissed now.”

Kyuhyun exclaimed, making all the guys started laughing and hollering at that while I could just grin sheepishly. I seriously wished the guys just stop jinxing it. The way I see it, if my instincts are as sharp as I believed them to be, I still have a chance with Alice. But then again, where is she, anyway? I looked at my watch and realized that she’s been gone for a good half an hour now. I mean, surely taking a call wouldn’t take that long, right? So I decided to look for her rather than stay here and get too curious for my own good. I left the dressing room and looked around the hallway, not seeing a sight of Alice anywhere. Just as I was about to turn left towards the stage area, thinking that she might be hanging out there with the rest of our crew just like what she usually did, I saw the restroom door at the right side of the hallway opened and Alice walked out of it.

                “Yo, Alice!”

Alice looked up with a shocked expression on her face and I instantly frowned. She looked a little flustered; her eyes were red and a little puffy and were still slightly watery. Had she been crying? I quickly walked over to her and her eyes suddenly widened at that, looking like she didn’t want me to get closer. But I didn’t care, if she’s been crying, I wanna know why.

                “Alice, what’s wrong?”

The corners of started twitching at my question, but before she even managed to answer, fresh tears started rolling down her cheeks. It was almost as if the question that I asked her had worked as a trigger, reminding her of what made her cry before. And then I did what I thought I was supposed to do. I reached out to her and softly pulled her into a hug. She didn’t do anything to stop me and instead instinctively wrapped her arms around my waist and buried her face on the crook of my neck. Oh god, is it wrong of me to think that this feels totally right? No, not the fact that she’s crying but… the fact that it’s me here, holding her, trying to make her feel better with her 5 “4 figure fitting right in with mine, making it as if it belonged there all along.

                “Are you okay?”

My voice came out sounding like a helpless squeak and I nearly slapped myself when I asked her that. Of course she’s not okay, you moron, she’s obviously crying! Oh god, merely seconds of being this close to her and I’m already acting like a stupid school boy, what the hell is wrong with me?

“It’s nothing, actually, I just… realized that I miss my aunt so much, it’s the first summer that I don’t spend with her and when she called and we talked a lot I just… kind of lost it. God, I’m so pathetic.”

As she spoke, I could feel her breath hitting my neck and I practically felt shivers started running up and down my spine. This girl seriously has no idea what she’s doing to me. After just one hug! Well, not necessarily after one hug cause I’ve hugged her before but… this one just feels different. Maybe it was the way that she held on to me like I was her reason to not to break down, or something. I could do nothing further than to slowly her back and said my ‘it’s okay’s to her until her sobbing subsided. I think that I know Alice quite well and I know that she’s not the kind who easily cry or even whine about anything, I guess losing her parents at such a really early age kinda gave her the strength that most girls her age doesn’t have. So it was really troubling for me to see her there, being so helpless. I wanted nothing more than to be there for her every time things like these happened again and at the very least make sure that she doesn’t have a reason to cry again. Then it hit me like big yellow school bus. I wanted to always be there for her, be the reason for her to smile like she used to do so adorably, and most importantly, I wanted Alice Yoon to be mine.

*SIWON’S POV*

                “Aigo, Teukie hyung, watch out, Alice-noona’s boyfriend is pissed now.”

Everybody started roaring with laughter when Kyuhyun cheekily said that and of course I joined in too. It was funny to see Eunhyuk, the joker of the group and usually on the opposite end of all this teasing is now suddenly the object of said teasing. Strangely enough, my laughter died out much faster than everybody else’s and I found myself observing Eunhyuk. What he said to Teukie hyung earlier about us who shouldn’t be burdening Maddie so much kinda stuck to me. The affection he held and stressed on what he said was apparent, and I was quite certain that it’s been awhile since he ever holds that tone of voice to any girl now. In one way I was quite happy to hear that affectionate tone graced his voice again but… knowing that the object of that affection now was Maddie, I kind of… well, I don’t know how to say it but it just didn’t feel right. I mean, Maddie has been my best friend for as long as I can remember so having Eunhyuk acting so smitten around her is like… I don’t know, having your guy friends crushing on your sister, or something. At least that’s what it feels like at that time.

                “Hyung? Hyung?”

I came back into my senses to find Ryeowook waving his hand around in front of my face. Whoa, how long have I been out?

                “Aish, do you have to do that?”

I said as I pushed his hand away which was about half an inch from my face and he just grinned sheepishly at that.

“Well, it’s not my fault that you seemed like you’re in a trance, or something, did something die in there?”

Ryeowook pointed on my forehead with a curious look on his face. Like, he was seriously contemplating whether I had a couple loose screws in my head.

                “Oh, it would be every living memory of you if you keep doing that.”

He just rolled his eyes at that and turned around towards the guys who had all stood up from their seats. And as it turned out, our manager was already there doing a head count before we head into hair and make up.

                “Eunhyuk-ssi? Where is he?”

Our manager looked around, trying to find Eunhyuk but to no avail. Then I remembered seeing him walking out of the dressing room a while back and volunteered to go look for him. He’s only been gone a couple minutes he won’t be that far. I went out of the dressing room and saw Eunhyuk standing near the restroom. Just as I was about to open my mouth and called him out, I realized that he wasn’t alone. Though partially obstructed from view because of the large speaker boxes that were scattered randomly there, I could clearly make out Maddie’s silhouette, engulfed in Eunhyuk’s arms and wrapping hers around his waist. I couldn’t see her face cause it was buried on the crook of Eunyuk’s neck so I didn’t have a good idea as to what she was doing. But Eunhyuk was clearly whispering something to her and softly her back, looking like he was trying to comfort her or something. Then I saw Maddie looked up at Eunhyuk, a small smile gracing her full lips and her arms still wrapped securely around Eunhyuk’s waist but… had she been crying? Eunhyuk was making this gesture of grazing his palm on Maddie’s face, kinda like what people do when they were wiping something off from someone’s face, or in this case maybe it was her tears. Something tugged at my heart and I wanna know immediately why Maddie was crying but I just… couldn’t find it in me to break those two apart. They looked so serene together and well… that look on Maddie’s eyes when she was looking at Eunhyuk was enough for me to stood still, not really knowing what to do. I know that look of mixture between affection and admiration really well. I know it because… not to sound conceited or anything, it used to be directed at me and this was honestly the first time in my life where I witnessed she directed that look to someone else. Then without me even realizing it, I turned around on my heels and went back inside the dressing room.

                “Siwon, did you find him?”

Our manager asked me when he realized that I didn’t come back with Eunhyuk.

                “Uh… yeah, he was just from the restroom, he’ll be here in a second.”

And then our manager started citing our schedules for today and tomorrow after we finished this show tonight, but my head just wasn’t in it anymore. It was beyond weird to see two of my best friends acting the way how I just witnessed Maddie and Eunhyuk was acting. I knew it was mainly because it was the first time that I saw Maddie like that but… it still didn’t feel right. God, what the hell is wrong with me, why can’t I just accept that both Maddie and Eunhyuk have feelings for each other? Jeez, I really need to tone down this mama-bear overprotective side of me over Maddie. Yeah, that’s gotta be the solution.

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I feel really good today, hence the double update... Enjoy! :)