*ALICE’S POV*

I was sitting on my hotel room bed, flicking mindlessly through the cable TV channels and finally settled on some random old drama re-run. It was 6 in the morning here in Manila, Philippines and I know that I should be going to sleep but I just simply couldn’t. It’s weird that since a few days ago I started having trouble sleeping when I had never had this kind of problem before in my whole life. It started with just sleeping late. Usually by at least midnight I had already slept like a baby, but then I started going to sleep later and later each night and tonight is the worst, I practically stayed up all night and now nobody’s here to at least keep me company. A couple nights ago, when the guys found out that I couldn’t sleep, Kyu, Silver, Lee and Sungmin actually stayed in my room and played on Kyu’s Nintendo Wii excitedly, saying stuff about how they won’t fall asleep until I do. But then a few hours later, they started falling asleep one by one except for Silver, flushing the promise they so excitedly made earlier about not falling asleep completely down the drain and leaving me and Silver alone. Silver did keep his promise though; he stayed up and talked with me until about 3 in the morning and I finally fell asleep. I subconsciously smiled to myself as I thought of Silver, it’s funny that that’s always my reaction now when I think about Silver, I just simply smile. That guy is starting to grow on me, making me think that I might have been too quick to act when I said to him that it’s just not the right time for me to start dating again. He’s been nothing but a sweet, caring and absolutely out-of-his-mind funny guy, basically everything that I wanted in a guy and you can say that I’m probably starting to like him. But I guess I just know better, reminding myself of what lessons I learned from my two ex-boyfriends and just spare anyone of us the heartache that surely would happen when I finally realized that no matter who I was with, Nate was the only one who’s always on my mind. So when it came to Silver, I kind of just… go along with it but not really giving him a false hope and thankfully, I really think that Silver understood that even though we never really talked about this. Dealing with Silver was surprisingly easy though when I compared it to dealing with the other guys, who basically had suspected that there was something going on between Silver and I and each had asked either me or Silver about it and of course both of us denied it. Although it really seemed like they don’t believe us cause they just keep teasing and hollering whenever Silver and I was seen together. Meh, the way I see it, they’ll accept the fact in time. And then suddenly I was brought back to reality when I heard the bell to my room door rang, who the hell would visit this early? But I stood up from the bed, nonetheless, and headed towards the door, seeing Nate with a tray of something outside of my door. He broke into a big grin as I opened the door for him.

                “Nate, you do realize it’s 6 in the morning, right?”

                “All the more reason for me to bring you breakfast!”

Nate said with a surprisingly upbeat tone to his voice and I could just laugh lightly and shook my head at that. I held the door open for him, letting him walked inside before closing the door lightly behind me. I walked over towards Nate who was setting the tray on the nightstand, taking away the napkin that was covering it, revealing a plate that contained 3 loafs of French toast that looked mighty tasty and a tin tumbler. Then Nate quickly handed the tumbler to me.

                “First thing’s first.”

I took the tumbler from him after he said that and started loosening the cap. I nearly died from joy as I saw a slight smoke coming out of it and smelled that familiar scent of Nate’s specially made hot chocolate.

“Nate, if I die after drinking this, just keep in mind that I died as an extremely happy woman, okay?”

I happily took a sip of the hot chocolate as Nate just started laughing at what I said earlier and picked up the plate containing the French toast, walking over to the little coffee table beside my bed and set it there. He sat on one of the small sofas and I followed suit, sitting on the other sofa.

“Didn’t think you’d wake up at this hour, Maddie. There goes my plan of being your morning alarm today.”

                “What do you mean wake up? I haven’t even slept.”

Nate’s eyes widened after I said that and that familiar look of pure worry slowly started to appear on his beautiful face. Really now, Alice, beautiful? Agh, shut up, it’s 6 in the morning and I haven’t slept at all so I’m at least allowed to have a little schoolgirl-crush moment. And now I’m arguing with myself. First sign of insanity, I tell you.

                “Maddie, that’s not good at all. How long has this been happening?”

“Uh… a few days now. I don’t even know why this happened, I mean, I never had sleeping problems before this, you know that right?”

“Yeah, yeah. That’s it then, finish the toast and the chocolate and you go straight to bed. We don’t have anything to do in our schedule before noon anyway.”

“Nate, believe me, that’s what I’ve been trying to do this past, I don’t know, 7 goddamn hours but I just can’t sleep.”

“Uh uh uh, that’s before Choi Siwon came into the picture. You’ll be sleeping like a baby by the time I’m done working my magic with you.”

“Do you realize how dirty that sounds?”

His face broke into a frown when I asked him that, which was quickly followed by a look of realization. And it was like a cue for us to start laughing loudly, causing my stomach to hurt from it. Agh, I really missed this. Ever since Tiffany came, I can’t help but to realize that Nate’s been really distant. I mean, I get it that he’s probably just excited that his girlfriend is around but I seriously feel left out because of it. The whole purpose of me joining this tour is so that we can spend our time together, just me and Nate. But I guess that went down the drain when Tiffany came. I mentally laugh bitterly at myself, what can you expect, Alice? The man you’re head over heels with has a girlfriend; of course he’d want to spend every possible minute with her, right? I hate how that evil voice seemed to always know the most awful things that I was thinking about.

                “I’m sorry I haven’t been spending that much time with you lately.”

I looked up from the plate of French toast that is now sitting on my lap as Nate said that out of the blue. It’s almost as if he could read my mind and the things that I shouted earlier. I wanted to say that he should be sorry, that the guilt he’s feeling now is the hell of his own decision but really, who am I kidding? I could never do that to him. So instead, I put on the best and most earnest smile that I could manage for him.

“Why should you be sorry, Nate? It’s not like you’re actually abandoning me, right, and look at that, you’re here with me now.”

A look of relief washed over Nate’s face and he too broke into a smile. There you go, that’s all I ever wanted to see on his face. Seeing him smile like that instantly made everything better, making what he did kind of been nothing but a stupid memory. I couldn’t even remember why I was so sad before, he’s here with me now and he’s still my Nate, I really couldn’t ask for more.

“That’s good to hear. It’s just that… the guys have been saying stuffs like, you’re looking kinda down and a little bit depressed a few days back and I started to think that it was because of well… what I did.”

Hearing him said that kinda made me trace back into what happened around that time that Nate mentioned. Well yes, Nate it was because of what you did and a lot of other things. Like how your girlfriend seemed to really hate me from the get-go, how she always acted like I didn’t even exist, how she was always all over you every time I was around, how she always gave me the evil eye every time we see each other, how she and her friends were always obviously talking about me in front of my face in Korean of course because they know that I couldn’t understand Korean but it was clear that they were talking about me or making fun of me. Or how your girlfriend always looks sickeningly perfect that it made me feel like a complete and total ugly loser every time she was around, how I wanted to shot myself in the head every single time you kiss her, put your arms around her, call her ‘baby’ and smile at her in a way that I know would never be directed to me. Those were the things I wanted to say to him, but instead what came out was,

“Nah, you’re being silly, I guess I’m just… a little tired, you know. I mean, it is my first job after all, and you have to admit, the schedule that you guys have is just… absolutely crazy!”

That lie slipped so easily from my mouth that it got me wondering, have I been this good in putting up a mask in front of him? I guess I am. Because for 16 years he had no idea about how I really feel, and he’s the only one in this world who knows me best. So you can see why I’m good, right?

                “Yeah, I guess you could say that. And um… about you and Hyukjae?”

*SIWON’S POV*

I didn’t know why but it felt strangely uneasy that I asked her about this kinda thing. I gotta admit, I wasn’t even planning on asking her this but maybe my curiosity got the best of me and I blurted out that question without even thinking through it. Maddie predictably blushed when I asked her that and started grinning, messing the back of her short bob hair, her typical reaction when she’s faced with something that she’s not entirely comfortable with. But I saw something different this time. Even though she was obviously uncomfortable, I couldn’t help but to notice a spark that instantly ignited in her eyes the moment I mentioned Eunhyuk. And it also woke something up inside me. I didn’t know what it is cause it felt so foreign but all I know is that feeling came when I realized that I’ve never seen her like this before. Sure, she had a few boyfriends in the past but all of those relationships Maddie had with her past boyfriends revolved when she was at the States and when we see each other in Seoul on the summer, she never really talked much about them. I remembered they’d call every once in awhile but they were never the main subject of our conversations. But I just shook that thought away and once again just put it aside as me being the over-protective mama bear around her. Hahahaha, yep, those are her words, not mine.

“I don’t know, Nate, it’s just… well I think that he’s sweet and everything and every girl should want to go out with him but… I just didn’t feel like it’s the right time, you know.”

“So he did ask you out then?”

“Yeah, when we were in Phuket.”

“Why don’t you try and go on a date with him, or something? I mean, you’re obviously smitten about him…”

“I am not!”

“Maddie…”

I stared at her long and hard, trying to squeeze the truth out of her somehow and by how she opened , about to say something but then stopped and suddenly became so interested in playing with her fingers, I guess I got my point across.

                “I… well, I think I kinda like him but… I just can’t go out with him.”

Okay, when I said that seeing her get all starry-eyed about Eunhyuk felt weird, this felt even weirder. Knowing that she’s got this kinda feeling towards one of my band mates just somehow didn’t really sit right with me. I mean, it’s my best friend having feelings towards one of my good friends too, it’s weird right? Why did I even ask her this? But then again, this is Maddie after all, how can I not wanna know?

                “Why can’t you?”

Aish, again, I blurted out that question without really thinking about it.

                “I just… can’t, okay.”

When she said this, I knew that the conversation was over and I knew that she didn’t want me to go further or even ask this to her in the future. And I know better not be curious with her reasons, that’s just the way Maddie is; never feeling like she had any obligations to anyone about the decisions she took in her life, she’s just such a free and beautiful spirit.

“Nate, please don’t tell Silver or anyone that I told you this, okay? I guess by now he’s pretty content with us just being friends and I don’t wanna change that.”

I could just smile at her and took her hand in mine. Honestly, I care about her too much to even think of going against what she wants and telling anyone about this.

                “Maddie, it’s me we’re talking about here, of course I won’t.”

She squeezed my hand tighter and smiled back at me, another one of her silent way to say thank you.

                “Okay, breakfast is done, time to go to bed!”

I stood up from my seat, also pulling Maddie up with me while she just groaned and half-heartedly held on to my hand as she stood up.

                “Nate, it’s almost 7, what’s the point of sleeping now?”

“Zip it, Maddie, you need sleep and you’re gonna sleep now.”

*ALICE’S POV*

Knowing Nate, it would be just plain useless to argue with him especially when he’s this determined. You know, at this point I honestly regretted telling him that I’m having trouble sleeping cause then he’d turn on mama bear mode and would most definitely check up on me every night to see whether I’ve slept or not. So then I just did what he was told and climbed on to the bed. But surprisingly, Nate took off his slippers and started to sit on the bed, leaning on to the headboard beside me.

                “What do you think you’re doing?”

“I wanna make sure that you’re really asleep rather than leaving you now only for you to stay awake and lied and say that you sleep when I ask you afterwards.”

I could just grin at Nate, which he replied with another grin, probably already knowing full well that that’s exactly what I’d do if he did leave.

                “Yeah, that sounds like something I would do.”

                “Sounds? I KNOW that’s what you’d do.”

Yep, he knew exactly. We both just laughed as I got under the covers and rested my head on the soft pillow, trying to make myself comfortable with Nate sitting beside me. I closed my eyes and pretended for a teenie bit that I was already asleep just so that Nate would think that I really was asleep.

                “Maddie, try and get some real sleep and not just faking it.”

Sheesh, he really IS good. I opened my eyes and looked up at him, pouting. He just slightly laugh and put his palm on the back of my head, as I was laying on the bed sideways facing him and he started slowly my hair. Lord knows, it comforted me right away. Even though I know that after this he’ll flew straight back to Tiffany’s arms and I’ll most likely have to go through the hell of being there to witness everything, I just wanted to really savor that moment. The moment where I felt like Nate was mine and only mine from the amount of affection he was showing me. The touch of his hand and the motions he was making were like sedatives. And I fell asleep not long after, faded away into a blissful dream, all because of Nate.

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I really like this chapter, I don't know why... Yesterday I felt like having an Alice-Hyukkie moment and then I wanted to write an Alice-Siwon moment too, so this is the result... Anyways, enjoy and happy weekend! :) Oh, and please read, subscribe, comment and la la la, and to those who did, I LOVE YOU n thanks so much... :)