Oh how am I going to start with this? There are a lot of things I want to say, things that I need to release because I think I’ll be going crazy anytime soon.

*breathes* Okay, so these past few days, I’ve been busy about EXO. Reading their fanfics and watching their videos. Maybe because I was having my leisure time while waiting for SS5. I was so into Kray and Lay. I almost forgot about SUJU, EunHae and Donghae already. I know, that was my bad.

During that time, I was thinking: Do I really love SUJU that much or that enough for me to not love other boybands other than them? I asked that to myself several times with uncertainty and fear. What if the answer to that is ‘NO’, what would and should I do?

But SUJU would always give me the answer: YES And they never failed in doing so. Everytime I came to the point where I ask that to myself, they never failed of proving to me that they deserve the love I can offer. That I really can’t leave them just like that.

Do I love Donghae that enough for me to not have other bias more than him?

Sometimes, when I get to know an idol more and get attracted to him, I ask this question to myself. And right at that point, Donghae would always give the answer: YES And he’ll never fail to show something that would prove that to me. He’ll prove that he’s the only person out of thousands of idols out there who deserves my love. He’s a bit possessive, I know. LOL XD And he’ll make me fall in love with him over and over and over again. And I would love him way way more than I already do. This only means that no one could ever surpass Donghae and replace him on my bias list.

I don’t know how he do it but it just happens everytime I have those questions, uncertainties, and confusions.

After that, I’ll feel bad. Because I felt like I’m so bad for doubting them. Doubting Donghae. But it’s unbelievable how he’ll make sure to ease that by everything that he does. And all those things would just be replaced by a smile.

A while ago, I just stared at his picture, and I can’t believe I teared up. And said, “I still love you…” I thought that peaceful feeling I get when I stare at him had vanished already but I was wrong. It was still their and it never faded.

 I was actually trying to find that feeling on Lay since he’s the new one I’m attracted to. But I can’t feel anything other than I’m just attracted to him. It’s just different when it comes to Donghae.

Look at him now. He’s so handsome, cool, and hot at the same time. His hair suits him very well. His body built may not be that built anymore but he’s still rockin’ the house! I know you know what I mean. :D  And his temporary tattoos was just unf. I hope it was real. I wouldn’t really mind ‘coz it suits him.

EunHae. This OTP is just unstoppable. They’re incredible as hell. This duo is just FTW. I may have multiple OTPs out of this Kpop fandom but It’ll always be EunHae that’ll be the best and the most real for me.

I don’t know what to say anymore. Ahh~.. The feeling of being in love.. Though I miss falling in love in real life, I’m still thankful that SUJU could make me fall in love with them even if it’s just an Idol-Fan relationship.

I know Donghae doesn’t know this. And he never would. That’s a fact I need to remember. But I’ll always be thankful of him. He did a lot of things for me that he never knew.

Donghae, Thank You.