Eunsung scrolls through her phone looking at the photos she took of the twelve boys, smiling and looking happy on the ice skating rink and subconsciously pauses on the photo of Sehun fixing his skating shoes because her heart feels funny, though she's not sure if it's from nostalgia or regret. 

After a while, she concludes that it's both - nostalgia from longing to return to the way everything was before and regretful of being so vulnerable, being so foolish enough to let herself fall for him. Having had the time to think it through, she's come to acknowledge and accept the fact that she has indeed fallen in love... and there's something about that sentence seems to stir discomfort.

"Love," she whispers to herself. 

The word feels so foreign to her ears let alone her feeling it. 

It's true that she has mixed feelings about this but if she had the chance to go back to meeting Sehun for the first time again, she wouldn't do anything differently and she would still blindly fall for him. And that's what terrifies her. What's worse is that someone has already confessed their feelings to Sehun and Eunsung thinks she's being selfish for even liking him at this time. It's at that moment that Eunsung tells herself to stop loving, try forgetting and start distancing herself from him. 

"Your bowl of noodles miss," the old man at the stall says as he places a bowl of steaming hot white noodles on the counter in front of her.

Eunsung breaks out of her line of thoughts and putting down her phone, she looks at the man gratefully, "Thank you." He nods and turns around so that his back is facing her and resumes chopping vegetables. Slowly she looks down at the bowl of noodles and suddenly remembers why she's here again. 

"I bought some buns from an elderly man that works across our street..." 

Using the chopsticks placed neatly on the side, she tries a mouthful of the noodles and it reminds her of the few rare occasions that her parents cooked for her; those times she would brighten up upon hearing her mother calling her for dinner. The grip on her chopsticks tightens. A small burst of laughter from beside her causes her to look at the culprits, a middle-aged couple, who don't seem to notice her as they're both too busy lost in conversation. As they continue to chatter, she looks down at her bowl of noodles dejectedly, never feeling more lonely in her life before. The urge to call Sehun is big and just as she's about to reach over for her phone, she remembers the look of Haera's nervous face yesterday and stops. Don't call him, it'll only make things more harder for you. 

But that doesn't lessen the loneliness she feels and so she texts Zelo, remembering his words to her earlier this morning 'if you need me, don't hesitate to tell me, I'll be there as soon as I can.' She doesn't want to burden him but she can't seem to stop herself either. After doing that, she lets out a small sigh and tries some of the soup.

"Are you waiting for someone?"

Eunsung's more than surprised to see the old man making a conversation with her while he prepares another dish - so surprised that she turns around in case he's speaking to someone else. But there's no-one behind her and pointing to herself, she asks, "Are you asking me?" 

"Well there's no-one else here, right?" he replies back with a question. Eunsung flushes and the old man chuckles. He has grey hair, wrinkles beside his mouth and the kindest eyes, "So are you waiting?" He looks genuinely concerned about her but she doesn't really want to share her thoughts, not when they're like this. 

"Something like that...not really waiting, more of thinking," she replies rather vaguely, stirring her noodles aimlessly. 

"Interesting," the old man comments as he throws in some salt, "There was this young man here the other day who said something similar." The girl furrows her eyebrows and wonders if that person is the same person she's thinking of but before she can question him, he continues, "He looked so out of it that he didn't even realise it was his turn to order, poor boy and when he left, he forgot his change and when I tried returning it to him, he said it was for me. Foolish but kind-hearted."

"Maybe he left it intentionally," she says thoughtfully. 

"Maybe...well, anything's possible," the old man grins before spotting another customer approaching his stall so he mouths 'eat' to Eunsung and then goes to serve that person. When he comes back they have a couple more conversations in which Eunsung learns that the old man's a Korean but married a Chinese woman so he moved here so that his wife wouldn't feel lonely and miss her home country. She comes to enjoy the old man's company - he's witty yet down to earth at the same time. And it's not so long after when Zelo arrives just as he had promised.

"Thanks for coming," she says as he slides into the seat beside her, "I tried not to but-"

Zelo shakes his head at her, "Hey hey, don't worry about it, I wanted to, okay?" And he smiles at her, again. Zelo always has such a big heart - he's generous, caring and funny. He's always there to comfort those in need and he's never once complained or asked for a thing in return. There are many reasons Eunsung can list about why Zelo is so special to her.

But then again, she could do the same for Sehun. 

Maybe the true reason why Eunsung avoids Sehun at all costs is because she's scared of his answer, she's scared that he's going to leave her to be with another person and Eunsung decides that before that can happen, she'll be the one to close him off first so that at least it wouldn't hurt so much when he's gone. After all, leaving is not the same as being left. 

People come and go so easily. It's just more disappointing when you start getting used to someone, start becoming attached, start to like them that they choose to leave. In the end, everyone leaves. Eunsung has had her fair share of being left alone, to fend for herself and she knows that the world doesn't always revolve around your happiness.

She manages to be okay for the entire afternoon all the way up until the early evening when Sehun approaches her with a hurtful yet confused expression on his face. She's in the midst of brewing some lemon tea, something sweet to balance out her mood when he walks into the kitchen - she could detect his presence anywhere. 

"Eunsung," he starts, internally wondering how he should get onto this topic, "Are you... by any chance, avoiding me?" There's a long pause. It's the way he says it that hurts Eunsung because his voice sounds so sad and she's aware that she's the one causing it.

"Why would you think that?" she asks back, stirring the tea bag with her back faced to him. She's not ready to face him yet, she's not ready to see those eyes that would either look emotionless or full of life because she misses seeing them so badly. But she also knows that if she looks into them, she'll willingly get hurt once again. 

"Well for a start, we haven't exactly been speaking the whole of today," Sehun points out, feeling hurt that she doesn't even face him when he speaks, "And even right now when we're talking, you're not even listening." 

Gathering enough courage, she turns around and looks at him dead straight in the eye. She can feel her inner wall crumble and turn in on itself but she tries her best to not let it affect her, "We've both been busy that's why.. We both go out with other people." 

"Maybe we'll be so busy with other people that we won't even have enough time to make a cup of tea," Sehun states bitterly, shooting a look at her cup on the countertop. When he refers to tea, he doesn't mean the drink itself, but more so, himself. 

Eunsung follows the direction of his vision and sees that the boy is looking at the teabag box and obliviously replies, "But I will, because Zelo got me it." That sentence is enough to cause Sehun to clench his fists and he tries so hard to not show his hurt feelings because he was the one who got her it and last time he checked, he was not Zelo.

"Really?" Sehun grits his teeth when the girl nods, "You know... sometimes it wouldn't hurt to be more observant." 

With that said, he leaves the kitchen and Eunsung can feel her heart breaking when the front door closes softly. But it's okay, she tells herself - she deserved this for pushing him away. 

That night, some sleep restlessly, others because of pain. 

By the time the students are at the airport, ready to return to Korea, there's still quite some time before their flight is due. Eunsung's sitting on the chairs provided with her earphones plugged in. She's looking forward to returning home, seeing her parents' faces again and for a moment believes that maybe everything will be alright. 

Glancing around, she notices some people (presumably tourists) coming out of a small store with bags full of souvenirs and it's only then that she realises that she hasn't bought anything to take back. She frowns - how empty handed. Checking the flight time, she still has a good twenty minutes before they have to go so she walks over to the store in hopes of finding something good.

For the first several minutes, she can spot nothing but little keyrings and shirts covered in 'I Love China' but doesn't feel like they would be the right presents she's searching for. It's not until a while later whilst exploring the store further that she finds the most perfect gifts: a beautiful framed painting of a riverside bank (her father adored cultural works especially those associated with nature) and a set of mini ornaments for her mother who loved putting them on her shelf for display.

Feeling satisfied with her items, she was about to pay for them when she noticed a group of three friends ogling at a variety of bracelets. Eunsung looked down at her own wrist and noticed that there was nothing there. She had always wanted a bracelet too. Half filled with curiosity and the other half being hope for finding one, she walked over to the side to look at the other ones the store had to offer. They ranged from being silver, gold, string and ribbon and came in all sorts of colours, decorations and patterns but none seemed to be right. She was close to giving up when, in the corner of her eye, she noticed a small shine reflect from her left. Buried under the other bracelets was a thin one made of soft fabric, twisted and then crossed into an elegant repeating pattern and then finished off with a silver infinity symbol on one strand and two doves on another. It was beautiful. Although the other bracelets seemed to be more popular, judging from the number left in their individual baskets, she was most drawn to this one. It was on the far left side, covered and overlooked by the other bracelets. And yet somehow, it stood out more like that. 

After paying for the gifts, she checks the time - the person before her in the queue had a problem with their card so took a long time. Grimacing at her phone, she quickens her pace since she's accidentally spent more time than she expected. 

Fortunately the plane has not left yet but the closer she gets to the timetable, the faster her pulse increases, fearing that she's been left behind. It had happened once before when she was a child and there she was once again, standing in an empty space surrounded by many people, but no-one she knew. 

"You're here." 

Turning around to the direction of the voice, her heart almost jumps in relief but it's short-lived. Sehun looks at her blankly, a lack of emotion in his eyes and his mouth is drawn into a thin line. Although no-one speaks, the atmosphere is still heavy. She wonders why he's there but doesn't ask him, because it's not her business. They both show their boarding tickets and passports to the security man before getting on the plane. When Eunsung's found her own seat, Sehun is still searching for his. And as Sehun's walking by, although it's selfish, she half hopes he will say something to her - anything.

Sehun walks straight past without so much a glance. 

 *      *      *

When Eunsung decided to start distancing herself from Sehun, she didn't realise the hardships of doing so. She knew it would be difficult but not this difficult. Everytime she sees him in class, she longs to call out his name; when she sees him in the corridors, she wants to meet his eyes; when she spots him in the canteen, she has to resist going towards him. She feels like Sehun's given up on being her friend, after that night they spoke. He just doesn't speak to her anymore (not that she blames him)

It's not until one afternoon during sports class when the teacher announces they are to play basketball that causes Eunsung to realise the impacts of her avoiding Sehun. She's just finishing tying her shoelaces when Mr Kim calls out the people in the teams. Eunsung glances around to look at the teams and her eyes fall on a certain figure that is slumped on a bench, looking exhausted. She could tell who that was from anywhere. And before she gives in to the temptation of going over to him, Zelo pops in front of her vision. 

He seems pleased about the choice of sport, if it's any indication from the beam on his face, "This reminds me of that time we played basketball together. You're really good." 

Eunsung, a little distracted, makes a small noise that sounds similar to a wince, "That was just a one-off." She's pretty sure she won't be as lucky this time round, not to mention, she's not really in the mood either. 

"We'll see." 

Then the game begins and the sports hall is soon bustling with noise. The other team (which has Sehun in) is in lead already and if anyone looked closely, they would've noticed Sehun running faster than he ever had. They would've noticed Sehun furiously shooting a goal every few minutes as if his life depended on it. But Eunsung doesn't notice any of this - instead she notes his tiredness. 

Sehun's dribbling the ball again, across to the hoop. He avoids many of the other players and charges across the court. He doesn't know why he's playing so hard either, but all he knows is that he has to win. Maybe that will fill up the emptiness. 

Three quarters of the way across the court, he's suddenly blocked by Zelo who tries to sneak the ball from his hands. Glaring, Sehun tries to side step him, only to have the latter follow him. 

"Why are you being so serious about this? It's only a game," Zelo comments. 

"Maybe I don't want to lose." His voice wavers at the end although he tries to put up a strong front. 

Zelo forces a laugh, "This isn't about basketball is it?" 

Sehun doesn't reply but Zelo's words have affected him. They both know what he's getting at. Sehun tries to dribble the ball to get away from the other guy but the latter is too persistent.

"Trying to put up a brave front won't do you any good in the long run. The way you handle things won't get you far, you know?" 

Sehun's jaw tightens because who the hell is this guy to tell him what to and what not to do? Everyone has different methods of dealing with things and this so happens to be his own.

On the other hand, Zelo doesn't know why all his anger is suddenly coming out in one go and he can't seem to stop his mouth either, "And if you're going to continue being like this, I'm not going to hesitate anymore. I won't hold back. It irritates me to see how stupid you can be." 

And that's when Sehun loses it. He slams the ball down and sends a loud sound resonating throughout the hall. 

"Your method isn't exactly in need of high praise either. At least I don't pretend that it's okay to continue being a friend just so I can stay by her side." 

In one swift movement, Zelo's fist makes contact with Sehun's jaw before he grabs Sehun's shirt viciously and snarls, "What did you say?" His words seemed to have struck a chord in Zelo because deep down inside, he knows what Sehun's said is true. 

"You know exactly what I said." 

There's the sound of a whistle and Mr Kim comes jogging over before separating the two, "Guys calm down, it's just a game. You'll both sit out for the next game." 

Sehun scoffs and then mockingly repeats those very words the other had said earlier, "Of course, it's just a game. Right, Zelo?" 

Zelo couldn't feel worse about himself. 

"Sehun!" 

The said person stops in his tracks but doesn't turn around. Instead, Eunsung steps up and jogs around him so that she can see his face. 

She's finally decided now that it's selfish of her to avoid the latter just because of her own fears. 

There are two reasons for this. The first is the fact that she promised to herself from the day she witnessed Sehun looking so broken there in front of his parents' graves, she would never leave him. She felt guilty for breaking that promise temporarily - how much more must she have hurt the boy by pushing him away. He already had a hard time accepting Eunsung in the beginning and the girl couldn't believe that she just blatantly stepped over all that trust that she built up. She would be lucky if Sehun would want to talk to her at all. 

The second reason is because she really misses him, terribly. 

That's why she's come to this decision. It's okay if he doesn't return her feelings - she just wants to be there for Sehun. Knowing that he's okay is enough for her.  

The girl winces a little at seeing the bruise forming on the side of Sehun's face and wonders how hard Zelo must've punched him. She reaches her fingers up slowly to touch the outline of his jaw - she does it so gently, as if she's afraid he will disappear under her touch. For a split second, Sehun leans closer to the touch, wanting to be as close to his source of warmth. It happens all too quickly when Sehun seems to realise what he's letting himself in for so he jerks back and not meeting the girl's eyes, takes a few steps back. 

"S-sehun-ah.." she whispers weakly, stumbling after him. Her heart is beating faster than usual, out of fear of losing him and desperation. 

His next words send an arrow straight to her heart, "Don't... Please, don't." 

♥ AUTHOR'S NOTE;

A really melancholic chapter, I know... u__u 

This is the bracelet Eunsung finds in the store, isn't it pretty? *u* Funnily enough, I ordered a turquoise one for myself the other day, similar design but not exactly the same~

I started writing this last week but then I found out about Luhan leaving so never got round to finishing it until now... The news really hit me hard since he's been my bias since 2012. I'm not going to go into a long a/n about it, but if you want to read my message to him, it's here. I  have never doubted his decisions and will continue supporting him.

Here's my support vid for Luhan and basically sums up my goodbye ;u;