Chapter 26
I lied... I love you
As soon as the car went to a complete stop, Karam immediately went out and ran as fast as he could. He don't care what happen to him when he bumping to the other person. He just wants to get away from Changmin. From everybody. He stopped at the dark alley. He tried to gain his breath. Then he slumped down, his back against the wall and he hugged his knees up to his chest. Karam was crying silently. He hoped that Changmin did not try to follow him. He did not know what to do when he's facing with Changmin. He felt weak when he's with his brother.
"Hyung!" Changmin called. Standing in front of Karam trying to catch his breath.
Slowly Karam looked up. Changmin offered his hands to help him to stand. Grunting slightly, he hauled Karam to his feet, scooping the trembling form into his arms, kissing his forehead warmly. Karam's eyes watered up, he hid his face in Changmin's shirt to hide as weak cries rolled out.
"Hyung?" Changmin asked gently. Karam lifted his head to see his face. "Are you all right?" He whispered. He gently caressed his cheek.
Karam pushed Changmin's hands away from his face. Before, Karam would have been affected by his brother's touch and concern, but now it just made him feel worse for betraying Seungho. "Hyung hurt him. Hyung cheated on him." he said. His voice barely came out from his lips, but Changmin still heard him clearly. He tried to free himself from his brother but Changmin wrapped his arms around and held his brother tightly against him as he cried onto his chest. Everything he said was completely true.
"Shhh... don't cry, hyung. It's going to be okay."
"No. It's not okay. Hyung didn't want it to end this way. I'm a bad person."
Changmin softly ran a hand onto his brother's back as his other arm tightened around his waist. "Hyung, you're not a bad person. You just got yourself into an unfortunate situation." He whispered.
"There're so much damage hyung must've done. Hyung just wish it hadn't turned out this way." Karam said, sobbing. He felt torn. Doubting. Questioning. What was happening to him?
"Hyung, look at me." Changmin said ever softly.
Karam looked up at his brother. "Things happened, okay? And I don't want you anywhere near to him again."
"I know what you're thinking," Karam said to him. "Seungho wouldn't hurt hyung though. He was just upset. And it's all hyung's fault."
"Maybe he wouldn't." Changmin acknowledged. "But you were both upset and he was furious, you didn't need to be around that."
"I needed to fix this!" Karam exclaimed, trying to make him understand that he would have been fine. He freed himself from his brother's hug. "Hyung messed this all up, and hyung needed to fix it." Karam said. He just wished that he could go back in time and fix the mistakes he made. He wished he could fix this whole damn situation!
Changmin's eyes softened at his small outburst. "Not everything can be fixed, hyung. Sometimes when a relationship is over, it's just over." He talked calmly and softly and with a soothing cadence. He looked deep in his brother's eyes. "It's over." His voice was barely audible, but the words resonate deep within him.
Karam stared at his brother, his eyes softening on his gaze. His head was a blur, he didn’t know what to think at that point. He was so upset. He wanted to yell at him and scream and just leave, but there was something about him that he never understood. He was extremely frustrated and lost. He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. Instead, he felt fresh tears falling from his eyes. He wrinkled his expression as he began to cry, the weight of the world suddenly crashing on his shoulders.
"Baby, help hyung. Hyung doesn't know what to do. Hyung is going crazy."
Changmin arms engulfed his brother into a tight hug. Karam buried his head into his chest, crying into his shirt. Changmin simply held his brother in his arms, his head rested on Karam's shoulder. "It's okay, hyung. It's okay." he soothed, running his hand behind his back, trying to rub out the pain he was obviously suffering.
"Hyung, you have me. I love you. I love you so much." He loosen the hug and put his fingers under Karam's chin, tilted his head up. Changmin leaned in kissed his his brother's lips gently. "You have me." Changmin whispered at Karam's ear, reminded him again. He knew it's deeply unfair and selfish of him to yearn for those things, but he can't stop the desire that engulfs, to have his brother solely for himself. Only him.
Changmin's words certainly had a calming effect on Karam. Karam felt weak at his brother's words. He can't control himself when he's around his brother. As if he's been hypnotized, Karam wrapped his hands around his brother's neck and returned the kiss. Suddenly, Karam found himself pushed not-too-gently up against a brick wall, his wrists pinned above his head. "You're mine, hyung." Changmin said and started kissing his brother again. The kiss became more intense as they responded to each other.
At nearby corner, Jaejoong was shocked, his eyes widened and his breath caught in his
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