Chapter 22
I lied... I love you
The time seemed to go by faster than Karam had thought. They had been together for more than a month and no one knows yet, and somehow the time had flown by quickly. They had grown impossibly closer over as their kisses deeper, touches more lingering and more intimate but still, they did not go beyond that. They’d both been scared to really go all the way, but they’d worked through it. Karam had loved every minute of his time with his brother, and he wouldn't trade the memories he had already made with him for anything in the world. He just wished he didn't have to hide their relationship from anybody. He felt safe waking up by him everyday. The one person he had been yearning for years. They woke up every morning in each other’s arms, kiss each other awake, and sometimes while Changmin was showering Karam’d make them breakfast. To be fair, Changmin was trying his best to be more patient as he kept to his promise not to give Karam more pressure for Karam in dealing with Seungho, while Karam tried to avoid any mention of Seungho's name that was constantly on his mind.
"Something is up with you lately. Why are you smiling so much?" Key asked when they were at the cafeteria having their lunch.
“What’s wrong for me to smile so much?”
"You’re acting weird. Are you sure you're okay Karam? You've been looking a bit odd lately," Key asked.
Karam was frozen for a moment. Had he really looked that obvious? "Yeah, I'm fine. It's just these days, my heart is.... Ahhh...I don't know." He would tell no one, not even Key. He would just not understand. He understood so much, but not this.
'I hope it's Seungho you're talking about.' Key eyed him with serious stare. "Just hurry up and finish your meal. Otherwise we'll be late for gym class. Anyway, where's Seungho? I didn't see him at all today."
"Uh.. I.. I don't know. He told me he’ll be late. He will only come in after lunch. Let's go to the gym." Karam said.
Key nodded.
Karam was just finished change to his gym suit when Seungho walked into the changing room and walked straight to him.
Key smiled at Seungho and left the two lovers alone.
"Hello there, beautiful." Seungho said as he flashed his charming smile at Karam.
"Hey." Karam replied, meeting his gaze briefly before he bends down to tie his shoes lace. Or pretending to tie his shoes lace.
Seungho watched Karam carefully. "You seem to have a lot on your mind." He began. "You look tired, is anything troubling you?" He took note of the pale skin of Karam's face and the dark circles that had formed beneath his eyes.
Not expecting the question, Karam turned to Seungho, his eyebrows raised. "Why?"
"Just wondering. You look like you're hiding that you're committed a murder or something. Please tell me you didn't do anything wrong."
"Ahh..Of course not! It's nothing.." Karam immediately replied.
"Would you like to talk about it?" Seungho inquired in a smooth husky voice.
Karam grabbed Seungho's hand. He leaned forward and whispered, "Really, ... it's nothing. You better get change now. I'll be outside."
Seungho smiled. "I got excused from Mr. Park class today. So I'll just sit on the bench watching you play."
"Let's go outside then." Karam replied abruptly. Their gaze locked.
Too abrupt.... that made Seungho ponder. He knew that nothing would bother Karam this much for him to space out and say nothing for a minute. Something was definitely wrong.
Just as Karam was about to turn Seungho grabbed his wrist and pulled him closer.
"Seungho, somebody might see us."
"There's no one here. Just us." Seungho said. He was eyeing Karam. "You know what?" Seungho asked.
"What?" Karam replied, tenderness still in his eyes along with curiosity
"You’re seriously the hottest person alive, you know that?" Seungho whispered, tried to lighten up the situation.
Karam blushed. "Oh, Seungho, stop it...." But before he could say anything more, Seungho embraced him, curling his muscular arms around him in a gentle hug. Anything comments Karam might have had brewing died in his throat in the breath of seconds as he closed his eyes and leaned against his chest, listening to the rhythm of his strong heartbeat.
"Love you." Seungho told Karam against his hair. Karam smiled against his chest and tightened his grip around his neck. He looked up gazed at Seungho.
"I know." Karam told him, kissing his shoulder. Pulling back slightly, he got lost in his eyes. "Let's go now." he said finally.
"You know that's not what I want to hear." Seungho said suddenly.
Karam looked up meeting his gaze. He felt the hairs on the back of his neck standing on end as he felt the unmistakable feeling of his eyes on him. Karam's mindful of how he's acting toward is 'boyfriend' but there is a terrible guilt weighing on his shoulders and he's been great at hiding his emotions.
"Love you, too."
Seungho leaned in to kiss him. Karam stepped back.
"Um… I think we should be going now." Karam whispered unsurely. "Our teacher might be looking for us."
"It's only been three minutes since I got here." His smile faded and he pulled his head back a few inches. “Karam, for the love of God, give me your attention, I’m your boyfriend.” Seungho snapped, and Karam does meet his gaze.
“I know.” Karam said softly.
"What's going on, Karam? Lately I realized that every time I try to kiss you, you're avoiding me." He narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest.
Karam sighed. "I'm not avoiding you, Seungho. Trust me, I don't want to, and it's not every time."
Seungho watched Karam suspiciously, acutely aware of Karam's awkward action, furrowing his eyebrows in a silent question. "Whatever you say." He said adamantly, gently grabbed Karam's arms and their eyes met. He didn't add to his response though, and after a while, he stepped back and stretched his arms, letting go of him. "Let’s go.”
"You're mad at me, aren't you?" Karam spoke softly, nervously playing with his fingers. He could feel Seungho’s eyes on him, but he refused to look his way. He felt a hand on his shoulder, then another hand on both of his, stopping his nervous habit. Karam couldn't resist glancing at Seungho, and when he did, Seungho gave him a small smile.
"No, I'm not." He pulled Karam close and enveloped him in an embrace. "Confused, maybe, but definitely not angry."
Karam looked up at him and then softly kissed him at the corner of his lips. Their contact caused Seungho to close his eyes, and he sighed. "But… Is there something you're not telling me?" He opened his eyes to meet Karam’s, waiting for an answer. Karam just keep quiet.
"Do we have any problem?" Seungho asked.
"No, we did not," Karam replied. He felt his heart skip a beat. He averted his eyes. He felt badly for lying to Seungho.
"Don't keep anything from me." Seungho said.
"I don't want to lie to you," Karam replied, looking back at Se
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