After getting directions from the grandmother manning the front desk, Yonghwa entered the largest hall in the building. It was packed with crying teenagers, relatives, and even a few school teachers.

            Do you want to know the type of person Kim Taeyeon was?

            Well, she was extremely pretty and petite for starters. Eyes always sparkling, hair neatly tucked behind one ear, and the bare minimum of makeup. She got good grades without studying and was a violin prodigy. She was obviously very popular, nice to everyone, but had a small rebel streak that started several months ago.

            Taeyeon would skip a few classes here and there, go to a party every weekend, and show up less than perfect now and then. It wasn't anything extremely bad, just a couple incidents every few weeks. Yonghwa tried to calm her down a bit, but she said there was nothing wrong with enjoying life. And there wasn’t, until that behavior cost her her life.

            But at this moment, all of that was forgotten. It might come up later as a regret, but now was just a time of mourning.

            He fiddled with his tie in order to give his hands something to do. If not, he would have broken down a long time ago. Taeyeon wouldn’t want that. She hated feeling sad, well who doesn’t, and always did her best to cheer everyone up with her bubbly self.

            Minhyuk rushed into Yonghwa’s arms, a blubbering mess. “Hyung. Taeyeon noona…”

            Smoothing the maknae’s hair, he patted his back. “Calm down, Tae wouldn’t want you crying this much.”

            “You’re right…”

            “Why don’t you go calm yourself down. They have food in the next room.”

            “That’s okay hyung. I think I’ll just say goodbye to noona and go home to work on my science project,” muttered Minhyuk before going towards the front of the room.

            Yonghwa sighed a bit and followed. He had to say goodbye at some point.

            Because of the huge crowd, everything had been moved into a smaller room that could only be visited in small groups.

He sat in front of the framed pictures of Taeyeon. There were three that caught his eye in the multitude.

One was of her as a smiling infant, the second was her winning her first violin competition, and the third was a selca she had taken a few weeks before the accident.

He grinned a little. Taeyeon was very handy with a camera. She had been head of the yearbook and made sure to include everyone. Her skills included catching everyone at exactly the right times, the photos drawing out everyone’s best features and abilities.

“Annyeong Taeyeonnie. It’s me, Yong oppa.” His voice cracked a little, but he didn’t care. Minhyuk had just left and there was no one else in the room. “I hope you’re in a better place. You were always so bright and cheerful, I wish I had been better to you.”

Yonghwa stopped. None of those words were his. They were the ones that came up in dramas, the ones that were supposed to be said. He need to say his own, it might as well be his last moment with his best friend.

He grabbed a frame at random and tried to think. It was of her taking a nap. Her hair was in a messy bun and she was wearing sweats, but she still looked perfect.

“Why did you have to leave me?” he whispered. “Right when I was going to confess. Right when everything was going to be so much better.” A tear finally slipped down his face and he hurried to wipe it away before it could land on the paper.

Chuckling a bit, Yonghwa smoothed the hair in the picture. “You knew I was going to confess soon, didn’t you? Always teasing me and trying to make me jealous with all of those idol ‘boyfriends’. That only made it harder you know. I was really jealous. You’re pretty and talented enough.”

“Yonghwa?”

He scrambled to his feet and put the picture back. Mrs. Kim was standing in the doorway with a pained expression.

“Oh Mrs. Kim! I’m really sorry about all th—“

“It’s fine Yonghwa.” The mother-like figure smiled a little at his unnecessary apologies. Her grief seemed beyond tears. She looked as if the world had flipped upside down and everything was over. She had already accepted everything and given up. “Actually, I know this is a lot to ask, but since you live next door and have our key, could you take Seohyun home?”

“Ne?”

“She isn’t doing well and needs to go home. I think the crowds are getting to her.”

He nodded. “Of course I will.”

She breathed a sigh of relief and guided him into a separate room where Mr. Kim trying to calm Seohyun down.

“Hyunnie, Yonghwa’s going to take you home.”

“No! I’m staying with unnie! I’m staying here.” Seohyun was yelling and sobbing uncontrollably.

Yonghwa sighed. “Come on Hyun, let’s go.”

The younger sister of his would-be-girlfriend shook her head and sat down on the floor.

He shook his head. “It’s okay Mr. Kim. I’ll take her home.”

“Thank you Yonghwa. We are so sorry, but there are so many people and…”

“It’s the least I can do for my neighbors and best friend.” He picked up Seohyun bridal style and walked out of the room.

She kept crying and screaming, but no one gave them a second glance. Apparently this happened often. After a while, she seemed to get tired and her tearstained face landed on his lap on the bus ride home.

He fished the key out of the flowerpot and turned the lock.

“You know us too well.” Seohyun muttered as she followed him into the room.

Yonghwa smirked. “Well of course I do. I’ve been best friends with you two since elementary school.”

At the mention of ‘two’, her face crumpled and she sighed before starting to sleep at the kitchen counter.

“Aish, you need to go upstairs and sleep. You’ve had a busy day.”

“IDAF VAGND DPOL”

“Come again?”

She lifted her face from the table. “I don’t want to.”

“Too bad.” He carried her upstairs and dropped her on the bed. “Better?”

“Maybe.”

He shook his head fondly and looked around the room and froze. This was the room Seohyun shared with Taeyeon. The one he had spent even more time in than his own when he was little.

It was still the same. Pink frills everywhere, 2 beds, 2 desks, and pictures everywhere. Yonghwa walked over to Taeyeon’s side and admired her desire to be messy compared to the meticulous Seohyun. There were papers everywhere, late night snack plates piled up, and cameras and pictures everywhere. That’s when he noticed it.

It was a huge leather-bound book with snowflakes on the cover. It was different than the 58 other photo albums tucked into her bookcase. The last time he had seen it was when he had been 9, exactly one year after he had moved into this neighborhood with his parents.

“Is this one of those diary things? With all of your girl secrets?” Yonghwa was still in his school clothes and was about to open it when a hand speedily grabbed it.

“Yah Jung Yonghwa! Don’t touch that!” Taeyeon had always worn pigtails at that age.

“But I want to see! Doesn’t it have pictures just like all the other ones?”

She shook her head and stuck her tongue out. “Nope. This one’s special.”

He bounced onto Seohyun’s bed and grabbed her, making her squeal. “Oppa what are you doing!?! I’m trying to read here!”

“Kim Taeyeon, I’m holding your sister hostage until you let me see that book.”

Even if she was smaller and younger, Taeyeon was strong…especially if she had their math textbook in her hand. “Let go of my sister. This doesn’t have anything in it yet though. I just got it a couple years ago.”

“So when can I see it?” Yonghwa hastily backed away from Seohyun as he saw the scary glare of his best friend.

“When all the pages are filled or once I’m dead.”

“You’re so weird Taeyeon.”

“Come on, I promise!” She held out her pinky and forced him to pinky promise. Yonghwa rolled his eyes afterwards and started playing with her camera.

“Yah stop touching my stuff!”

Yonghwa smiled at the memory and picked up the book. She had promised, he might as well see what was in this ‘special book’. Seohyun had just fallen asleep, so he crawled into Taeyeon’s bed with the heavy thing.

Her blankets still smelled like her perfume. He even found a half opened bag of jellybeans under the pillow and popped a few in his mouth. Yes he was stalling. He missed her, but it had all happened too fast. Yonghwa was probably going to break down in the middle of math class in a few months. The impact hadn’t reached him yet.

Carefully opening the book, he grinned at the messy handwriting.

Kim Taeyeon’s Winter Memories

Hi future me! Umma and Appa got me this book for my birthday. It has pretty snowflakes on the cover, don’t you think? I decided that I would fill up 2 pages at the end of every winter with pictures like a scrapbook. Maybe later, when I’m a senior or something, it’ll be fun to look back at the memories! I’ll start it once it’s around January? See you later!

So yeah.. um this chapter's really bad cause i can't write grief all that well, but now is when the memories and fun stuff start (hopefully)!!!

so a bunch of people were surprised that Taeyeon died in the first chapter (sorry!) but she'll still be in the story because it's all a giant flashback! hopefully you guys can figure it out soon enough!

Now I will go write a few chaps...or start one, watch running man with yonghwa, minho and L(!) and then start my homework...

thanks for reading!

- chocolate-notes :)