“CAP-hyung, where have you been?!” Niel shouted as he opened the door to the van. “Why didn’t you respond to any of our texts?!”

CAP started, “You never–”

“Yes we did!” Niel continued ranting as the other members filed in and took their seats. “And then I was forced to risk my life and check if the fans were gone. You know that my lips automatically make me the most recognizable member. If fans saw me, I don’t ev–”

 Being as mild-tempered as he was, CAP resisted the urge to explode at Niel for complaining about something that almost happened that actually did happen to him. L. Joe, however, didn’t fight back his impulse.

“But they didn’t right?”

“Well, no.”

Changjo finally closed the door and asked, “Why didn’t you just ask Rockhyun to go? He didn’t mind.”

Niel’s face immediately changed as he again shouted, “Why didn’t you say anything?!”

Completely amused, Rockhyun giggled and answered, “You were already nominated.”

“Anyway,” CAP interrupted, “I guess I lost my phone back at the theater.”

“What?!” The driver slightly swerved the car after he heard the news. “Call the manager immediately!”

“Yeah, I know. I was going to as soon as we–”

“No! Call him now and make sure you tell him about that flock of buzzards you ran into.”

CAP borrowed L. Joe’s phone and dialed their manager.

“Hello?”

“Good evening, I was told to inform you about what happened today–”

“Yes, yes? Get on with it, please.”

“While we were at the movies, some fans spotted me, and–”

“One of them stole his phone,” the driver enunciated clearly so that the manager could hear him.

“No, we don’t know that,” CAP corrected. “He’s just coming to his own conclusion.”

The manager continued, “I wouldn’t be surprised if one did, though. I’ll disable the line and have your number changed by tomorrow.”

“Sir, you can’t. I have too many relatives who need my number. I don’t have theirs, so I couldn’t even let them know it’s been changed.”

“The longer I delay disabling the line, the more opportunity is given to a sasaeng.”

 “Alright.”

“If you get any unknown calls or texts, let me know.”

“I will, thanks.”

As soon as the call ended, Changjo nonchalantly announced, “So, I officially call dibs on that chocolate beauty.”

“She’s not a piece of food, moron,” L. Joe scolded. “You can’t just decide to own people.”

“I apologize, mother,” Changjo sarcastically retorted. “I do actually like her, though.”

“Just because she’s exotic?”

Chunji intervened, “Even if that is the reason, you forget none of us lived in America. It is absolutely normal to like someone because they’re different. Tell me, in Oregon, did you only like Korean girls?”

“That’s different,” L. Joe mumbled.

“How so?”

Changjo insisted, “Hyung, it’s okay. I like Andreya because… I think she’s kind of like me.

Ricky’s face completely scrunched up as he asked, “How so?”

Niel couldn’t resist being a smart aleck as he stated, “No matter how much Chris Brown and Flo-Rida you listen to, you will never be black.”

“Oh,” the other boys chorused.

“Niel, even if you were twice as smart as you are now, you’d still be stupid.”

Everyone except Niel snorted and proceeded to burst into laughter. What made the situation even more amusing was the fact that it appeared to take Niel a few seconds to completely understand the insult.

“From what I gathered,” L. Joe began, “Andreya didn’t seem to be the heartless, I’m-going-to-insult-you-all-the-time type.”

“I don’t insult people,” Changjo responded instantly.

Niel scoffed. “That sure wasn’t a compliment.”

Changjo smirked and shrugged, “Hey, I’m just simply stating the facts.”

Rockhyun decided to add to the conversation. “So what’s similar about you two, then?”

“She’s not overly talkative; she seems mature.” He positioned his hand on the side of his mouth as he nodded slowly and whispered, “And she seems the type to like younger men.”

L. Joe furrowed his brows and asked, “What gave you that impression?”

“The fact that she clearly looked over your short head and looked straight at me.”

L. Joe grinned to himself. “Even if that were true, I doubt that she’d be interested in someone as insensitive as you.”

“I’m not insensitive, you’re just overly sensitive. You keep trying to defend all these girls that you don’t even know. You really think they want that in a man? Girls can have girl friends who are sensitive and defend them. The ladies like men who–”

“Just let it go already!” the driver barked completely exasperated.

Changjo was used to always getting the last word, so he quickly muttered, “Next time, we’ll see who gets picked first: Romeo or Mr. Incredible.”

sasaeng: a completely different species of (usually Korean) fans that are obsessive and literally have no lives other than stalking celebrities.