“Let me stay over, so I can take care of you.”

Baekhyun suggested.

 

“Nah. It’s okay.”

Chanyeol smiled brightly.

 

Baekhyun’s heart cringed as he saw the smile.

Why can’t he cry or throw tantrum when he’s felling sad and angry about it?

 

“Go on. It’s getting late.”

Chanyeol said as he pushed Baekhyun out of the ward.

 

“You sure?”

Baekhyun asked, hoping Chanyeol could tell him to stay behind.

 

“Yeah. It’s getting late!”

Chanyeol said and made a cute angry face.

“You’ll miss the last bus.”

 

 

“Okay.”

Baekhyun managed a smile.

“See you tomorrow?”

 

“Yeah. See you.”

Chanyeol said as he waved goodbye.

 

Baekhyun then slowly walked towards the lobby.

He kept turning back to see Chanyeol and Chanyeol kept waving.

 

“Bye!”

Chanyeol said from a far.

 

Baekhyun refused to bade goodbye and quickly went into the lobby.

He feared that if he said goodbye, it really meant goodbye.

 

He leaned on the wall of the lift, covering his face with his palms.

Soon, warm tears came rushing out from his eyes.

 

There were so many questions in his head.

And there were no answers to it.

 

Why why why.

Baekhyun thought as he slowly crouched down to the ground.

 

 

Why?

 

 

 

 

 

-----------

 

Chanyeol was still standing at the position as he saw Baekhyun walked into the lift without saying a goodbye.

Slowly the smile disappeared.

 

 

 

He stumbled backward and quickly held onto the handle by the door.

He had never felt so angry and despair.

 

Why God chose to sentence him to death when his happiness finally came?

Why?

 

It was so unfair.

 

Chanyeol bit his lips, holding back his shout.

The anger built within him was unbearable.

 

Chanyeol stumbled back into the room and sat on the bed.

He did not even bother to close the door until the nurse came over to check on him.

 

“Mr Park, t’s time to draw blood for the check up.”

The nurse came in with her apparatus.

 

Chanyeol just nod his head and let the nurse do what ever she need to do.

 

“There’s really no way for me to live longer?”

Chanyeol asked after a long dead silence.

 

The nurse smiled, sadly.

“We’ll try our best.”

 

Chanyeol just smiled.

He knew that the nurse could not do anything about it too.

 

“Done.”

The nurse said as she put down her apparatus.

 

Chanyeol just sit back, looking at the ceiling.

There was nothing to save him.

 

Nothing.

 

“Nothing.”

Chanyeol muttered as he began to doze off.

 

 

 

-----------

Sehun came to the hospital to pick Chanyeol and to help him with the discharge procedures.

He brought along some of Chanyeol’s favourite snacks, hoping that it could cheer him up.

 

“Chanyeol!”

Sehun greeted as he opened the door.

He expected Chanyeol to greet back.

 

 

 

But all he had was silence.

 

A neatly arranged bed.

 

A piece of note.

 

 

 

Sehun quickly rushed over and picked up the note from the bed.

 

 

“Hi Sehun.

I knew that it would be you reading this piece of note.

 

I’m sorry that I told the doctor that I will be heading back home by myself.

And also, I told them not to tell you about it.

 

Please, don’t come look for me any more.

I’m tired of all those sympathy that you showered on me before.”

 

 

Sehun held on to the note tightly and tears trekked down his cheeks.

 

“I am a human being after all.

I felt like a loser right now.

Having you guys saying all the positive words don’t really help me at all.

 

I know the truth.

 

I know I’m dying.

I’m just a living sick pot since the day I was born.

Sorry for being a burden to you.

 

To be honest, this is not what I really want.

Some times, I wondered, if I don't exist, will you guys be more carefree?

 

God isn’t fair since the day I was born.

He sentenced me a death penalty.

 

What have I done wrong?”

 

“Damn.”

Sehun muttered as he held the note tighter, causing the note to be crumpled.

Why wasn’t he more sensitive towards Chanyeol?

Why did he neglect Chanyeol’s feelings?

 

Sehun regretted what he had done.

He should put himself into Chanyeol’s shoes, not doing what he thought the things that were right.

 

Sehun fell to the ground, with the snacks scattered all over on the ground.

 

Why Chanyeol did not tell him anything about how he feels?

 

Why?

 

 

“There are so many questions but there isn’t any answers to them.

May be letting go might be the easier way out.

 

 

 

Forget about everything.

 

 

I know you’ve liked me since young.

But it’s time to let go.

 

Bye, my dear friend.”

 

 

 

Those last sentences were as if a bomb to Sehun.

Sehun was shocked that Chanyeol knew his feelings towards him.

He thought that he had hid his feelings well.

 

 

“If you knew it, then why did you not treat me colder? Why now then sentenced me as you ‘dear friend’ ?!”

Sehun sobbed.

“I really want to give up my hopes on you.

 

 

Really.”

 

 

 

 

it seemed like Chanyeol’s parents had received a letter from Chanyeol too.

His parents quickly called Sehun and asked about Chanyeol’s whereabouts.

All Sehun could do was to cry while picking up the phone.

 

“What to do, Aunt?”

Sehun cried.

“What to do?”

 

 

-----------

 

 

 

Baekhyun felt uneasy since last night.

He knew he should not leave the hospital.

He knew that something was amiss when Chanyeol said “Somewhere nice to stay and spent his last moments.”

 

Upon receiving the new about Chanyeol’s missing, Baekhyun ran out of the house, to search for him.

He went to their which spot.

Even 25thNovember, the café.

 

But there was not sign of Chanyeol.

 

He was actually confused and furious at the same time.

Why the heck did Chanyeol choose to leave now?

And why Chanyeol did not leave any words behind for him?

Why did he left notes to his parents and Sehun, not him.

 

He could not find the best excuse for himself.

All he knew was Chanyeol nothing for him.

 

 

Nothing.

 

 

“Damn it!”

Baekhyun punched the tree with his fist.

 

“Where the hell are you?”

Baekhyun yelled.