"Yah, Howon-ah, where are you going?" Sungyeol asked when he saw Howon changing.

Howon didn't answer but continue to strip out of his shirt, revealing his tanned body.

"I don't think any of us have any schedules yet." Sungyeol continued to probe.

"Going out." Howon stated, as if Sungyeol cannot see that fact.

"Where?" Sungyeol repeated his question, Howon grabbed his backpack and slung it over his back.

"Somewhere." Sungyeol stood up, attempting to tag along, but Howon's next word stopped him from tagging along.

"Alone."

"Howon-ah." Sungyeol tried, "Bye." Howon simply said and left the bedroom.

He came back in and Sungyeol was surprised, "Aren't you going out?"

"I forgot something."

Sungyeol watched Howon pull out the bed sheets and then slipped something in purple in to his bag.

"Bye." Howon says again

"Bye, come back early." Sungyeol says.

"I will."

Sungyeol knew what Howon planned to do. Where he planned to go. And what he planned to do.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Howon took his time to walk to the practice studio.

He changed his route out of a sudden, thinking maybe going to the dancing studio where they spent most of their time there would be better than to the park where he and Sunggyu went before debut.

He pushed open the door and darkness welcomed him. He switched on the light and the lights blinked once, twice then the hallway could be seen.

The studio was so quiet when nobody was practicing. The sound of his shoes hitting against the polished floor echoed through the empty hallway.

He placed his palm on the wall and slowly moved it along as he walked towards the room they were always in, right at the end.

He could hear the noises they made when they ended their schedules and had come for practice together after a day of being separated.

"Yah yah, stop fooling around! The hallway is cramped enough and you guys are still pushing around!" Sunggyu complained.

"Hyung, that's because you're too fat. Look, me and Woohyun can fit nicely." Sungyeol laughed.

"Yah! Lee Sungyeol, don't run! Stay there! Aish, you rascal, if you're caught, you're dead!" Sunggyu threatened as Sungyeol ran away.

Howon laughed silently as he took small steps, his mind reminiscing the times, the silly times they had in the hallway.

They had celebrated Woohyun's birthday, prepared his cake while he was practicing.

"Howon-ah, do you think Woohyun will like this?" Sunggyu asked quietly while the two of them were outside the room, lighting up the candles.

"Of course hyung. You chose the cake for him! I'm sure Woohyun hyung will like it." Howon smiled.

Howon sighed and shook his head, smiling sadly.

His palm rested on the cold metal knob of the room. Taking a deep breath, he turned the knob and stepped in to the cold room.

"Sungjong-ah, your hand. It's like that." Sunggyu showed while Sungjong followed.

"Continue!" Sunggyu clapped his hands and the music played again.

"Stop! Howon-yah, your late by a beat. Catch up!" Sunggyu chided, "Nae hyung."

"Yah, if you guys stop improving, then we might as well stop being in Infinite." Sunggyu said at the end of the day.

The members hung their head low, fully known that they did not give their best at that practice.

"Nae hyung." the answered.

"Come on, it's late. Are you guys hungry? I've got some money, let's go buy some food." Sunggyu smiled at them.

"Hyung, you are always this soft hearted. Why can't you stay mad at us?" Howon slumped in one corner, staring at the mirror.

Is this the dancing machine Lee Hoya he is? Is this the Lee Hoya inspirits got to know? No. He's not Lee Hoya. He's Lee Howon. The broken boy inside of Hoya.

Howon sat there, just staring at the reflection of himself.

Listless. Haggard. Messy. Eye bags are formed. His skin condition wasn't in the best.

Since when did he stopped caring about this? He remembered he still cared.

He cared when he found out about Sunggyu's illness. He continue to care while he was waiting to spend time with Sunggyu. He still cared when he was with Sunggyu. He cared when he left Sunggyu. Then it hit him. He stopped caring when Woohyun came home.

Face stained with tears, eyes so swollen that even Howon himself winced at how Woohyun was able to see. All Woohyun said when he came home, nothing but two words. Two words that made Howon stopped caring.

"He's gone."

He pulled the purple envelope out of his bag. Hands shaking, he took out the content inside.

He hadn't even started, but tears threatened to fall.

Flipping open the letter, the first tear landed with a splat on the ground.

To Howon,

Junhee-ah, hahaha, nah, I prefer Howon. Junhee likes Yunjae, Howon likes Sunggyu.

Howon-ah, how are you doing? Let me guess, you're reading this at the playground aren't you?

Howon laughs and shakes his head, tears streaming down his face while he choked out, "Hyung, pabo yah. I'm in the studio."

How should I say this?

We've known each other for so many years, I'm sure you know what I want to say don't you?

So lately, I've been wondering, who will be there to take my place.

When I'm gone, all of you need love and support. I won't be able to give you all of that anymore. I would love to, I really will, but I guess it's out of what I can give.

I've also been wondering, maybe I'll find out a way to make it back to all of you one day, to watch you, to guide you through the darkest of your days.

"Hyung, then why aren't you back now? I'm living in my darkest days. All of us are. Why aren't you here to guide us? Aren't you very smart? Aren't you the brain of Infinite?" Howon said in one breath, almost choking himself to death.

"It's dark. I can't find my way out of this misery. Hyung, can you help me?" Howon crushed the side of the letter, holding back the ocean of tears.

But I realized, I can't. So I hoped. I hoped that there will be someone outside who can help you. It may be the members. Howon-ah, don't be shy if you need help, you have to ask.

Life's this way isn't it? If you don't fight for what you want, you will never get it.

"Hyung, are you saying if I fight for you, I'll get you back? If all of us fight for you, God will return you back to us?"

But of course, fighting with God is impossible, Howon-ah. I know what's you're thinking. Don't be silly.

I wished that someone could bring me back to all of you. I really wished so hard for it. But I guess it will never come true.

I wish I could bring all of you with me, so Infinite will never have to leave without one of us.

It's not up to me to decide again.

"G-gyu hyung... I'll go wherever you will go. The rest will too. Bring us there t-too..."

Howon-ah, I really miss you. I miss all of you, yet I can only see Sungyeollie now. It was such a wonderful thing to sleep at the dorm with all of you. If I'd known, I would have treasured those times even more.

You're a strong guy. You're always fighting with Woohyunnie to see who is manlier, so this time, win him.

Get back up on your feet first.

"D-don't... y-you know how h-hard it is?" Howon cried.

"Do y-you think standing u-up... is so easy? I d-don't want to win h-him!" Howon shouts, flinging whatever he was holding across the room.

A loud smack was heard when his bag collided with the floor, at the other corner of the room.

I know him. He's probably living in denial. Trying to act as if everything is fine, even without my presence, he may even be treating like I'm overseas.

Promise me. Get back up on you feet.

"I-I can't. I really can't!" Howon screams. Curling in to a ball, hugging his legs close as he release his bottled up emotions.

It hurts so much. It's worst than having a broken ankle. The pain tore him from inside out.

"Howon, breath. Breath!" suddenly someone was shaking him.

Howon tensed up and his breathing got laboured.

"Relax. It's me. Nobody's here. It's me only." the voice comforted.

The voice, that sounded so familiar. So close. So... Sunggyu.

Howon slowly relaxed. He took deep breaths to calm himself down.

Looking up, with his swollen eyes, he saw the brown caramel hair, the person he missed so much.

"G-g-gyu hyung..." he sobbed, pulling Sunggyu in to a hug.

The person didn't answer him, all he did was rubbing in circles on Howon's back, muttering hush from time to time.

"I-I missed you. I-I r-really m-m-missed you." Howon continued.

"Howon ah, I'm Sungyeol. Not Gyu Hyung." Sungyeol finally said.

It hit Howon hard.

"Where's Gyu hyung? He was here a while ago!" Howon asked.

"He wasn't here. You're imagining things. Come on, let's go back." Sungyeol says gently.

Howon refused to move, at least not until he was done with the letter.

I love you.

Sunggyu

Howon blinked.

"This is not even a letter! Why is it so short!" Howon screams at Sungyeol.

"Howon, calm down. He's gone. It's over."

~~~~~~~~~~~

Somehow, Sungyeol managed to bring a crying Howon back to the dorm.

The members rushed up to Sungyeol who was carrying the bag in front of his chest and Howon on his back.

They helped him put Howon down on his bed then left the room.

Sungyeol lingered around longer. He placed the letter beside Howon's pillow.

Then when he was about to leave the room, a hand grabbed on to his.

"D-don't go... P-please... G-gyu h-hyung, don't leave me." Howon mumbled as he held tight to Sungyeol's hand and drifted off to sleep.

"I'm not leaving. Go to sleep." Sungyeol says.

That night, Howon woke up, barely able to open his eyes.

He was going to sit up when he realized he was grabbing on to something, more specifically, someone's hand.

"Sungyeol.." Howon shook the sleeping boy beside his bed.

"Oh.. You're up. Go wash your face. And then we'll have dinner." Sungyeol told him.

"Where's the rest?" Howon asked when he only sees Sungyeol at the table.

"They ate earlier when you were still sleeping. Sit down and start eating. I'm starving." Sungyeol pointed to the chair opposite him.

The dinner was finished without any conversation, only the clinking of the utensils.

Sungyeol cleared the table when the both of them was done.

"Thank you." Howon mumbled.

"Thank you for being there for me." he says shyly.

"It's nothing." Sungyeol chuckles.

'Gyu hyung, I promise. I'll get back on my feet tomorrow. Howon is back, now even stronger than Hoya.' Howon smiles to the back of Sungyeol as Sungyeol did the dishes.

Okay, some readers might not know. Junhee is Hoya's character in Reply 1997 while Yunjae is Seo In Guk. I actually ship this couple in the show, but of course, YaDong is still the best <3

And the letter... I kind of ran out of idea and I used lyrics for it. Xp

Lyrics are from The Calling - Wherever you will go

I apologize for such a lousy chapter. Woohyun's chapter is next so the story is probably ending soon. ><

Comment lots for me okay? ^^ Hope you liked it.