Sungyeol held on to the pink letter tightly in his hand, as if it will disappear once he loosens the grip on it.

Every member had their letters tightly held in their hands, refusing to let go or loosen their hold on it, even when the letter had become crumpled.

Each of them took a seat in the car. Myungsoo and Sungjong, hugging the letter close to their chest, still letting the tears flow without control.

Howon, being the manlier one in the group, held his tears, but still can't help it when a few escaped, he wiped it off angrily, blaming himself, asking why was he so weak.

Dongwoo and Woohyun remained expressionless after their breakdown in the house. One hand holding the letter left by Sunggyu, another hand clenched tightly in a fist. Nobody knows what the both of them were thinking. And none wants to know, because they are afraid.

Afraid that once these two let the strong font off, there will be no end of crying and tears. No end of wailing and blaming oneself.

Sungyeol, being the only one, who can say is in the right state of his mind, with trembling hands, gently tore open the envelope, revealing a piece of folded paper inside.

Pulling it out, he could somehow feel the warmth of Sunggyu there.

He started reading, biting his lips, preventing tears from spilling. He didn't want to cry.

Crying means tears, and the tears would spoil the last present Sunggyu left for him.

No, he couldn't bear to do that.

To Sungyeollie,

I'm sure by the time you are reading this, hyung has broken my promise. I left you didn't I? I'm really sorry. Are you doing fine? I do hope you are doing well. It's kind of hard to write in the dark, but I have to write it without you knowing, and before I lose the ability to write.

Telling you in person wouldn't have meant much, would it? I prefer writing it out. It's the least I can give to all of you. The last present I have for all of you.

When I just got in to Woollim, I thought, "Being in the same company as my idol was God's best gift to me.", now that I think of it, the six of you are the best gift. All of you are like my own brothers, I love all of you equally, even if there are times when I get mad at all of you.

We've worked hard together, went through lots of hardships. Getting injured for comebacks, giving our best on the stage, and winning all the awards.

It's the best thing that happened to me in life.

Sungyeollie-ah, you are a great brother to me. I'm really sorry that I broke my promise. I knew I was going to leave all of you anyway, there was no doubt about it, but I still made that promise. You must really hate me, don't you? But how can I not, when I see you crying so hard.

It hurts. Everything hurts. From the night all of you found out. From then, the forced smiles all of you had been giving me. Watching all of you, trying to be strong because your hyung is too weak, it hurts. I'm sorry.

The time I spent with you, made me treasure you even more. The moment I knew I was going to leave all of you, made me regret why I didn't treat all of you better when I can. But it's all too late isn't it?

Sungyeol-ah, it's okay to cry now. But please do hyung a favor will you? Finish crying tonight, then never cry again. Cry only when all of you had done something great. Cry only when you have realized all your dreams, cry when you feel proud of your own accomplishment.

Tears are meant to show emotions. But hyung only wants to see your happy tears, not those heart broken tears. Please make sure that the others are doing fine too.

Now that I'm gone, Myungsoo has one less person to confide to. Be his pillar will you? I know he trust you a lot. So please take over me now that I'm gone. Myungsoo is still young, although he acts mature. So take good care of him, promise me.

And you. I'm also worried about you. Ah... My tears are falling, and you snoring is disturbing. You must be really tired out, I'm sorry for causing you all so much trouble.

Have confidence in yourself. You can sing, trust hyung. Practice makes perfect, that's what everyone says. Find Woohyun, I'm sure he is more than willing to help you. Don't make me worry about you okay?

I love you.  

Sunggyu

Sungyeol had been crying without knowing it.

When he started reading, Sungyeol smiled, Sunggyu had used his nickname.

He continued to read the next sentence, his eyes started to get wet.

Kim Sunggyu, one that had never broken his promise, had broke his promise, for the first and the last time.

"Yes you left me hyung. You're a bad person. But how can I bring myself to hate you?" Sungyeol muttered, sounding like someone choking his throat, a tear escaped as he felt a bigger lump forming in his throat.

As Sungyeol continued, he chuckled dryly to himself, doing fine? No. if he was doing fine, he must be inhumane.

"You dumb hyung. Who asked you to write this in the dark? Why can't you just say it to me. It'll be more sincere that way." Sungyeol whimpered.

'You're the best thing that happened in my life too hyung. But why didn't I tell you that?' Sungyeol thought, his mind filled with nothing but pain, pain from regrets.

'I'm not that great. What's great about me!' Sungyeol crushed the side of the letter as he read on, Sunggyu was the great person. He was the one who was caring and taking care of all them, even when he himself is not feeling well.

What makes Sungyeol the good brother? Sungyeol hasn't done much for Sunggyu.

"There's no need to be sorry." Sungyeol's tears started falling on the letter.

The sobbing in the car became louder as Sungyeol lost control of himself.

"I wished I spent more time with hyung too..." Sungyeol said out loud, bursting in to tears. He wailed, and cried loudly.

Sungjong, unable to stand his hyung crying in such a heartbroken way, got up from where he was and sat next to Sungyeol, wrapping his arms around Sungyeol. Offering comfort when most needed, that's the least he could do.

Dongwoo and Woohyun, however, still remained stoned face even after Sungyeol's loud crying in the car.

"Sungyeol-ah..." they heard the manager called. Even the manager's voice sounded unstable.

Of course he was hurting too, Sunggyu had been with him since they debuted.

"I said I wouldn't cry! Why am I crying like a mess now!?" Sungyeol croaked.

Behind him, Myungsoo peeked at the older's letter.

'Why is he doing this to all of us? Why is he still worrying about me when he is the one that is... dying?' Myungsoo thought, his mind, from sad had turned to broken, now, he felt as if he can't feel anything anymore.

He felt numb. Is it good or bad? He don't know.

Sungyeol finished his letter just as they reached their dorm. He got off the car and ran off.

Running to a empty field, he stopped, panting hard, with tear stained face, he looked up at the sky.

"Is this how you want to apologize?! Is this it! This damn letter! Hyung! How could you! How could you do this to me..." Sungyeol fell on to his knees, the pain in his chest, throbbing whenever he took a breath.

Why is he still breathing when a part of him was torn away cruelly.

"I don't want that greasy tree! Why him when you can train me!? Stupid hyung!" Sungyeol screamed.

"I don't like this hyung! I don't like your present a single bit! You come back now! I want you to come back! I want to exchange... I don't want this paper... I want... I want you. Your hug, your soft voice, even your scoldings and nagging, come back! You hear me?!" Sungyeol shouted to no one.

No one was there to comfort him. No one like Sunggyu, will be able to mend his already broken heart. Nothing will be able to fix it back.

Even if someone, someone who had that kind of power fixed it, it wouldn't be the same heart he had.

The heart he once had, was gone. Along with Sunggyu, it vanished.

"Hyung... c-come b-back... I want to hear you say I love you personally. I don't like t-this pen. It smudges. Why does it smudge? I'm not even crying..." Sungyeol hiccuped as he wiped away his tears, drying his face.

"I'm not crying... You said not to cry. I'm not crying anymore so come back. I won't hate you if you appear now, I promise..." Sungyeol begged, "Why aren't you coming back? Am I not worth it?"

Woohyun stood from afar, watching break down.

The pain he felt... was indescribable. Probably a few times more than what Sungyeol was feeling.

The moment Sunggyu became lifeless in his arms, Woohyun own arms, the pain struck him. Right in the core of his heart.

Then going back to the house, filled with nothing but the soft scent of Sunggyu.

Somehow, just somehow... Woohyun heard Sunggyu's laughter. Sunggyu's voice.

Why had he been the last one he asked. Why was it him, to be the one, facing the silent Sunggyu. Facing the Sunggyu, who needed so much effort, just to say, "Woo."

Why is he the one. He doesn't know.

He glance at the red envelope in his hand. The answer is most probably in there. But he's not ready.

His shattered heart, was far too broken to go through this heartbreak again. He was afraid.

Afraid that he may do something silly. So he decided to wait.

Sungyeol tears fell on the grass, the wind blew gently and slowly.

Sungyeol's ear perked up, he heard something.

The wind. The wind was carrying Sunggyu's voice.

Sunggyu was singing to him. The wind surrounded him.

He closed his eyes, letting the final tear fall.

Sunggyu was hugging him. Sunggyu was comforting him.

"I love you too, Sunggyu hyung." he whispered.

And here it is. The first letter. It's not that well done. But I hope you guys will like it! ^^

Comment lots please :D