All of them were out except Myungsoo. He just laid on his bed. Nothing going through his mind. Just blank.

He turned and faced the wall. All he hears, is the fan spinning and then the shuffles that he occasionally made.

He reached under his pillow. Maybe this was the right time.

The mood in the dorm has gotten lighter. With the disappearance of three unread letter.

Myungsoo hid his under his pillow in the room, since they had all developed the habit of sleeping in the living room after Sunggyu was gone.

He didn't know where Woohyun or Howon his theirs, neither did he ask.

Myungsoo doesn't like this feeling. Not one bit. He felt lonely.

Even though the rest was trying, he just knew, they were trying to live normal again, when they've already lost an important part of them, but maybe, Myungsoo just knew them so well, that under their facade of small smiles and warm gestures, a part of them felt cold.

Just like him. He smiled when needed. He talks when needed. He laughs when needed. They all did.

Dongwoo, his laughter can never be as loud and as happy as before.

Woohyun, those sweet nothings he always threw at the members after a long day was gone.

Howon, the smile on his face now, remains the same no matter what joke they had.

Sungyeol, the pranks that were frequent during the past, no longer exist.

Sungjong, used to dance happily to girl group dances, now, he doesn't even seem interested when he hears the song.

"You guys need time." Manager hyung said. Myungsoo scoffed.

Time would maybe heal the bleeding wound in their heart. But time, would never take the scar away that was left after the recovery of the wound.

Myungsoo held the letter, staring at it.

He sat up and leaned against the wall. He'll have to read it someday.

He slowly tore the top of the letter apart, hearing the sound of tearing paper, then saw the white paper inside.

Black and white. What a huge contrast. Sunggyu loves white, he thought.

He stares again, at the folded piece of white in his hand. He could see writings on the other side of the plain white. He moved his thumb across the back of the letter. The little bumps where the words were, Sunggyu must have put in a lot of effort for this.

Did the others felt it too? Did they feel Sunggyu's love through the paper before the words? He don't know.

Gently, he opened the letter.

The words, written in black. That made him wonder, did Sunggyu use black for all, or only him?

He started. Taking in a deep breath, he read his name.

To Myungsoo,

Myungsoo-yah~ How long has it been since I called you that? A month? I feel like calling you that. I don't like L. He's too cold. Myungsoo is nice. Myungsoo is the real you, isn't it? L is just another facade of Myungsoo.

The Myungsoo I got to know before debut was noisy. Very noisy, along with Lee Sungyeol, that Choding. But as time passes, our Myungsoo seems to have grown up, and got to know his image. That's when L came, isn't it?

Myungsoo-ah, it's fine to be yourself sometimes, even when you're in front of the camera. That's who you are, fans would love it, I'm sure they do. L... you can just keep him aside for some occasions.

Myungsoo closed the letter. He felt his face getting wet.

"I-I can't continue... H-hyung..." he sobbed quietly, just like how he had when he read his mother's letter in The birth of a family.

"M-Myungsoo... misses Sunggyu hyung... A lot." he continues, even though no one can hear him. Precisely.

He had held in all his emotions, only to let it out when there's no one.

"L doesn't cry.. But Myungsoo does.. Hyung, Myungsoo is back. Will you be back?" Myungsoo asks.

"Of course not." Myungsoo says and laughs, but tears fell despite the smile on his face.

"I'm strong enough." Myungsoo tells himself, and he continues.

You have always been mature even though you are one of the maknae. And because of that, the hyungs have always neglected you. I'm sorry.

Myungsoo,

Myungsoo looked up anxiously, he heard Sunggyu calling him.

Looking around, there was no one. It was just him, and the letter.

"That's how much I miss you hyung." Myungsoo laughed at his pathetic self.

Let your tears out. For once. Let it all out. Though I may not be able to be there and lend you my shoulder by the time, let it out. Forget everything about L. Be Myungsoo for now. Myungsoo is just a normal boy. The boy who is free to laugh, to cry and to feel whatever he wants, do whatever he wants.

I'm worried about you. Our Myungsoo, Howon, and Woohyunnie. The three of you worries me the most.

You're not strong enough to keep everything to yourself, Myungsoo-ah. Listen to hyung, please stop torturing yourself. I know you're not going to talk after I'm gone. I got that right didn't I?

Myungsoo threw the letter on the floor angrily. Mad at himself.

Mad at why he still had Sunggyu worrying about him even in the last few months of his life.

Mad at why Sunggyu understands him so well that he could even predict what he would do.

Mad at.. Mad at why..

Why had he let his guards down while reading the letter, that he had ended up in such a mess with just a few lines from Sunggyu.

A crying mess was all he was now. Shouting. Hitting the wall with his palms.

"Myungsoo!" a pair of hands pulled him back.

Dongwoo was there. The one who had his breakdown just a few nights ago. A few nights ago, when he was the one, having his arms around the guy he's facing now.

"What are you doing?!" Dongwoo asked, then he saw the letter, thrown and landed at the corner of the room.

"You shouldn't have read it alone, Myungsoo-ah." Dongwoo comforted.

"It hurts hyung... It hurts to think that... S-Sunggyu hyung isn't coming back anymore. It hurts so much. Even... Even saying his name, looking at our photos, listening to people say his name, it just hurts so much that I feel like I'm tearing apart." Myungsoo wailed in Dongwoo's embrace.

"It'll get better, I promise. It'll surely get better." a tear slipped from Dongwoo's eyes.

Myungsoo fell asleep with his eyes swollen, having hiccups every one or two minute with Dongwoo patting his head.

~~~~~~~~

Myungsoo woke up in the evening. Feeling his eyes sore and tired.

Dongwoo fell asleep beside him, and the rest still hasn't returned yet.

The letter was still at where he threw it.

He got off the bed and went over to the letter.

"I-I'm sorry Sunggyu hyung. I'm really sorry. I'm sorry that... I threw away your present." Myungsoo murmurs silently.

He sat at the corner of the room.

"You'll be fine Myungsoo. Kim Myungsoo will be fine." he says.

Now I'm talking to L.

L-ah, it's time to take a rest and let Myungsoo do the job. Isn't it tiring to keep up with that cold mask? Isn't it tiring to hide and laugh and then return with the same poker face?

Our Myungsoo has grown up, I'm sure L-ssi can take a rest and let Myungsoo have a try.

The Myungsoo I like, he's warm hearted. He likes to make noise. He likes to laugh loudly. He's young. In fact, he's one of the maknae. The hyungs haven't been taking care of him very well, so L-ssi, would you do me a favor by taking care of Myungsoo?

I'm sure you would, it's the last plea from Leader Gyu.

Myungsoo-ah, time to let L go for now. Have a good rest arrasso? Then take over L's duties as the visual. Myungsoo is even better looking than L, because he laughs, he laughs out loud.

Stop bearing everything in, it's not good for your health. Promise me that okay?

And one more thing, stop wearing black L-ssi, it's really ugly.

Myungsoo-ah, wear something colorful okay? Hyung likes white.

I miss you, Myungsoo-ah. I miss you so much.

I love you.

Sunggyu

"It's the end..." Myungsoo flips the paper, but finds nothing at the back.

"Is this really the end?" Myungsoo asks, then burying his face in to his arms.

"I haven't had enough of you Sunggyu hyung. Why didn't you nag at me? I used to hate your nagging. But why do I yearn for them so much now? It's too short hyung. Your present... It's too small. I'm greedy."

Dongwoo woke up at the mumbling of someone and found Myungsoo crying again at the corner.

"Have you finished the letter?" Dongwoo asks, his voice soft and tender, and that instant, Myungsoo thought it was Sunggyu.

"Gyu hy-" he paused, realizing it's Dongwoo.

He nodded instead of speaking to answer Dongwoo's question.

Dongwoo sat down beside Myungsoo and gently pulled the boy's head on to his shoulder.

"I know my shoulder isn't as reliable as Sunggyu hyung's, but.."

"Hyung, it's fine. I like your shoulder too. Myungsoo likes it." Myungsoo cut him off.

Dongwoo smiled genuinely after so long.

"I'm sure Sunggyu hyung hasn't left you. He's always there isn't he?" Dongwoo pointed at Myungsoo's chest.

"Forever and always."

That night, as Myungsoo lay beside Woohyun, he whispers quietly.

"Sunggyu hyung, Myungsoo is back." he smiles, allowing the last of his tear to roll down the side of his face, then soaking in to the pillow.

This is probably the last update as of now till end of May? :o

Oh lord. I have exams tomorrow and while others are revising their off, I'm here typing a fic. ><

Really hope this was touching enough... And er... I got to go.

See you guys soon! Comment lots for me okay? xD