The Indifference Shows
The Black Phoenix
*banner by G-Dara21 (luv u!)
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DARA’S POV
I splashed water into my face and looked at myself in the mirror. The reflection staring back at me is still the same – it’s still the face of the Sandara Park I know. But why do I feel different inside. I closed my eyes for a moment and opened them again. TOP walked out on me a while ago. Well, I couldn’t really blame him, can I? I just don’t understand why I’m so distracted with what Sohee and Seungri said. So what if he never really intended in marrying her? So what if it was just a show? Why didn’t he inform me about it? If I heard about this before, I would have hold on, I would have continued fighting for him, I would have not given up on him. . .
I’ve already moved on, I thought to myself. I should be thinking more of TOP and me. But if I’ll be honest, when I saw Sohee and Seungri a while ago, I immediately thought of him. Why, oh why is that?
It was your fault he broke up with you, you know, a part of my mind snickered. I shut my eyes tight and my fingers curled reflexively onto the edge of the sink. Yes, it’s true. But I’ve begged him to forgive me; I did everything for him to forgive me and to take me back again. If he really loved me, he could’ve forgiven me at the least. But he didn’t – he rejected me, denied me of his forgiveness. Maybe he just doesn’t want me anymore.
My chest tightened and I took a deep breath to fill up my hungry lungs. I should not be thinking of this! Past is past, I’ve already moved on and I already have TOP. Yes, I should stick with TOP.
I was in that thought when I suddenly heard scrapes, noises, explosions in the room. I jumped uncertainly and I heard voices. I reached out for the knob and pulled the door opened. My eyes widened upon seeing the place filled with flying crows and I bet, shadows, fighting. Not just shadows, but I recognized two of them – Youngbae and Seungri.
What’s going on? Why are there shadows in my place? Why are Youngbae and Seungri here? I gave a squeak when Youngbae was suddenly lifted off the floor and thrown to the other side of the room. Then, as if in movies, in a slow motion manner, they all stopped and looked at me.
Fear gnawed my insides upon seeing the shadows’ faces.
“!” I heard Youngbae shout. “Seungri, get her out of here, NOW!”
As if I’m sort of a magnet, all shadows started flocking towards me and I had the urge to run but I could not move, I’m paralyzed. I saw Seungri try to ward them off but they’re too strong for him. One of the shadows reached out for me with a victorious grin and I could feel myself being into a black hole. I know this feeling – transport. But as I thought I’ll be transported to some place, I was pulled back up and I gasped out loud with the sensation. My eyes widened upon seeing the shadows floating in the air, their eyes wide and empty. I thought it was the end but then, flocks of crows started flowing into the room like a heavy rain. Then, one of the crows turned into a human – Mister Ahn. He smiled at me quite maliciously and I feel like I’m going to faint from fear.
“Hi Dara,” he greeted with a sweet smile, tilting his head to the side. Out of nowhere, I feel a gut-wrenching pain starting from my head down to my toes. I screamed out loud and just as I thought that I was going to die, two arms encircled around me and I was once again into a black hole. Instead of feeling fear, I felt oddly. . . relieved. I curled my body in the person’s arms and a familiar scent filled my senses, driving away the after effect of the pain Mister Ahn gave me.
I blinked my eyes opened and I found myself in the familiar receiving room of Bom’s place. I don’t have to look up to see who it was. I already knew – right from the moment his arms encircled around me, I knew. It’s him. But still, I looked up. I wanted to be sure, I wanted to be certain – I wanted to see him. So I slowly looked up and I was right, it’s him.
It’s Kwon Jiyong.
My heart went wild inside my chest that it was making it hard for me to breathe. My mind – it was only filled of thoughts that he is here, in front of me. I’ve been envisioning this scene in my head before – us, meeting again. I had a lot of scenarios in my head on what my reaction would be. I wanted to act nonchalant, I wanted to be casual, I wanted to show him I don’t care anymore, I wanted to make him see I’m angry but none of those comes close to what I’m feeling right now. I can feel the threat of tears at the corners of my eyes. I fought them back. I have to fight them. With trembling hands, I slowly lifted them to cup his face. A strangled gasp came out from me the moment I had his face in between my hands. He’s real, he really is here. He feels the same – warm, soft and. . .
“J-ji. . .”
A flash of pain crossed his eyes. He looked away and closed his eyes, his jaw tightening. He took a step back away from me and opened his eyes again upon hearing some footsteps. He glanced to his left side and nodded. “Bom,” he acknowledged.
“Let’s go,” I heard her say. “It’s not safe here.”
Without looking at me, Jiyong reached for my arm. The moment he did, it’s as if my body has its own mind because I just found myself curled in his side, my other arm around his neck. As Jiyong brought me and Bom with him to I-don’t-know-where, I buried my face in his neck. He’d lost weight that was pretty much obvious as his collarbone became more prominent. As if I couldn’t stop myself, I inhaled his scent and rubbed the tip of my nose along his collarbone, making him stiff.
When my feet landed on something solid, a soft moan of protest escaped my lips when he pulled away from me. No! Why am I reacting like this? I shouldn’t be reacting like this! I have moved on, right? I’m starting anew with Seunghyun! I shouldn’t be like this! But why, oh why do I have this strong urge to throw myself at him, hug him and never let him go? Why?
“CL and Sohee. . .” Bom started.
“I’m on it,” Jiyong answered then he disappeared.
A few minutes after, I fell down on the floor. I hugged my knees to myself as I felt myself trembling. . . trembling so hard that it felt like I’m going to be torn apart. But gladly, no tears came.
“Dara. . .” I heard Bom’s voice called out. “I know this must be a shock to you but this isn’t the time to break down like this. . . I know you’re scared and. . .”
No, she doesn’t understand does she? I’m not trembling because of what I saw a while ago. I’m not trembling because I’m scared of the shadows going after me. I’m not trembling with the thought that I might be captured and tortured or whatnots by the shadows. No. . . I’m trembling because of him. I can’t even understand it myself. I’m trying to control the trembling of my body but I can’t. . . I just can’t. . .
There was another pop-up sound. But I didn’t look up. I don’t have the strength and will to do so.
“What’s going on?” I heard CL’s familiar voice.
“I’ll explain later,” Bom said.
“Oh dear, what’s going on with Dara?” Sohee asked.
“I think she’s shocked,” Bom answered. “Ji, can you put her to sleep or something? I can’t bear looking at her like that.”
Why? I wanted to ask. What do I look like right now? I felt two arms under me and the next thing I know, I was being carried by someone. I instantly knew who it was when my body stopped trembling but then, my heart started going wild inside my chest to the point of it being painful. No, I can’t bear this. I wanted to be close to him, yes, but him, being kind to me is just too much to take. I can’t bear it. . . my heart can’t bear it.
“Put me down. . .” I whispered weakly.
“I doubt you have the strength to stand up on your own feet.”
Oh dear Lord! His voice! Oh, how I missed that voice! He’s talking to me! And I wasn’t able to stop my long-held back tears any longer.
“They’re not going to get you, Dara.”
Damn it! Why?!? Why is he being like this right now? Why am I being like this right now? He misinterpreted my tears as fear. Yes, I know I should be crying right now because of what’s happening. But my tears. . . they’re not because of fear. They’re for many reasons but primarily for longing and regret – longing for him and regret of what could’ve been. . .
And maybe I’m crying because I know I can never be with him. I already made a decision to be with TOP, haven’t I? I don’t want to hurt my Seunghyun. No, I can’t bear that as well. I was in deep thoughts when I felt myself being lowered down in a comfortable bed. Jiyong then placed a hand in my forehead, his eyes went all-black just before I felt myself being pulled down into the nothingness of sleep.
- - -
AUTHOR’S POV
His insides were trembling. He was like a volcano about to explode but he’s trying to contain it in. It would do him no good if he would not be able to control himself. For the past two months, he was ruled over with hatred, agony, bitterness and pain that his dark side started getting over him. It slowly pulled him down into the darkness. Being in the darkness, he enjoyed it. There was no pain, only the strong surge of power and strength. He revered it. He was aware that he was starting to fall into Ahn’s plans but he didn’t mind. He was enjoying himself doing bad things. But then, the news of Sandara Park being the daughter of the black phoenix pulled his normal self out of the darkness. Even as he stood there standing, there was something boiling up inside him that wanted to escape. But he was keeping it at bay. Slowly, he sat down at the edge of the bed. With trembling hands, he started reaching out for her face. The moment his skin touched hers a sense of calmness came over the other side of him that wanted to escape from him but along with the calmness was a crippling pain beyond words that he just wanted to draw his hand away from her. But he didn’t, he didn’t pull away. It was hard to explain but aside from calmness and the pain, there’s also that fierce longing that he could not fight. He missed her. He missed her so much that it was making him vulnerable to emotions he long tried to forget.
A small smile curved his lips unexpectedly and it took him by surprise as well. How long has it been since he smiled? To think that what made him smile was her baby face seem rather stupid but that was the truth. She hasn’t changed at all – except maybe she gained a little weight. Although looking at her, it would not be obvious but when he carried her a while ago, he noticed the difference.
She betrayed you, Anh’s voice echoed in his voice from before. He closed his eyes and pulled his away from her face. He stood up, his jaw tightening. He took a deep breath to try to calm down the boiling of emotions trying to get to the surface again. He asked himself why he was wasting his time staring and wanting someone who would probably will never be his when there were a lot of things he needed to do.
With determination glittering in his all-black eyes, he disappeared in a pop and reappeared in another place. His hand instantly reached out for someone around the neck but the person, took by surprise by his sudden appearance, fought him off. But he was able to contained the other against the wall with his hand on his neck with the other on the front of the person’s shirt. “I told you not to hurt her in any way!” he said, his voice different from his own voice. It seemed like the voice came from deep down the pits of somewhere and being echoed by different voices.
“W-what?” the other gasped.
“I told you not to hurt her in any way!” he repeated. “Or else I’ll kill you! But you put her life in danger as well as her mother’s you ing !”
“I. . . I don’t k-know what. . .”
Jiyong’s hand tightened around his neck. “Don’t play innocent with me, TOP! She trusted you with her secret but what did you do?!? You told Minzy and Daesung and they spilled it to Ahn! Now everyone’s after her!!!”
Understanding dawn on TOP’s face as well as he was awash with horror. “No. . .” he whispered. “They would never betray me.”
“They just did!” Jiyong hissed. But then, he let go and he took a step back upon seeing the genuine shock on the other’s face. And it wasn’t just that. . . the look of pure anguish on his face unnerved him
“That’s not true. . .”
“It is. . .” he started slowly, his insides calming down a little. “They just attacked her place a while ago.”
TOP gasped and his eyes widened as he stared at him. “Where is she now? Is she okay? Did they - ?”
“I was able to take her out of that place.”
“Where is she now?”
His eyes narrowed. “I don’t want to tell you.”
He opened his mouth as if to argue but then, he closed it and thought better of it. They were enveloped in an awkward silence when suddenly, a loud popping, a screech and a growl broke the silence.
“Jiyong!” Seungri shouted. “Need a hand here! There are hundreds of them!”
In that instant, Youngbae also appeared with at least a hundred or more of both shadows and crows looming around them. “Sorry, brought the party here. We were starting to gain attention back at Dara’s place!” he shouted over the noise.
Without glancing at TOP, Jiyong joined over the party. Sooner than later, he was the only one left fighting them off as Seungri and Youngbae were beyond exhausted. It only took Jiyong a few minutes to turn almost everyone into dust. He hated hurting the genuine crows but most of them fell to the ground lifeless.
TOP could just stand and stare. He had never seen such brutal power and strength before. But what left him more astounded was Jiyong’s endless mercilessness that was glinting in his eyes.
- - -
Dara woke up with a start. She was disoriented at first. But when all thoughts came back to her, she quickly jumped off of the bed and looked around her. She blinked several times and fell down back to the bed, her eyes closed. She opened it once again and headed to what she thought was a bathroom. And she was right, it was a bathroom. She went to splash some water to her face and stared at her reflection.
“I’ve already made a decision,” she whispered to herself. “I’m just reacting like this because I haven’t seen him for a while. Yes, that should be it.”
She took a deep breath again and pulled up a smile on her face. With a smile, she wiped her face with the towel hanging on the rack. She then decided to look for Bom to borrow a phone to call TOP. Yes, that should be the first thing she should do.
Walking out of the room, she started looking for Bom, her eyes taking in the place. It almost looked like Bom’s place but there was an obvious difference. This place seemed to be older. There was this ancient look to the designs on the walls, the way the place seemed so. . . cold. She found Bom in a couch, staring at the dancing flames in the fireplace.
“Hey,” she started.
Bom turned a little and gave her a smile. “How are you feeling?”
“I’m fine,” she answered.
“Need a drink or food?”
“No, I’m good,” she said. “But. . . can I borrow a phone or something? I need to call TOP.”
“Sorry, I can’t lend you one.”
She frowned. “Why not?”
“Because –”
They both jumped when a popping sound echoed in the room. Then, they saw Seungri and Youngbae being assisted by TOP and Jiyong. Footsteps then came in.
“Seungri!” Sohee exclaimed and immediately ran beside Seungri’s side while CL could just look from her place at them.
“Bom, do something about their wounds,” Jiyong commanded.
“Got it,” Bom said as he went to assist her husband up while Seungri just smirked at Sohee, cupped her face then kissed her on the lips.
“I feel much better now,” he said, grinning at Sohee boyishly, who blushed to the roots of her hair.
“Stupid,” she mumbled, still blushing. She then helped Seungri up and the four of them started walking out of the living room.
Dara blinked and it was when it really dawned on her that TOP was there, his face bruised. “TOP!” she called and went to throw herself in his arms. He almost staggered backwards but he was able to keep his stand. “What happened to your face?” she asked as she stepped back and looked at him, her brows frowned in worry.”
“It’s less than I deserve,” he whispered and stepped away from her. Dara felt a pinch in her heart but she ignored it. No, she would not allow TOP to reject her as well. She had enough rejections to handle already. To her surprise, he knelt in front of her. “I’m sorry. . . I’m so sorry Dara. . . I’m sorry. . . . sorry. . .”
“What are you talking about?”
“He’s the reason why you’re here,” Jiyong said. “He told Minzy and Daesung who you really are and in turn, they told Ahn about it. So everyone is now after you, including those who are close to you.”
“I-I’m sorry. . . I didn’t know they’d do that. . . I. . .”
“Really?” Jiyong softly asked. “Are you really sorry or you’re only pretending to be sorry?”
I wasn’t really sure what I was doing. But the next thing I know, my hand landed on Jiyong’s face soundly. “You! You don’t have the right to make him feel like that! You don’t have the right to judge him, you, out of all people! TOP would never intend to hurt me!”
“The way you said those words,” Jiyong snorted. “It’s as if you’re trying to imply that I’m the one who placed your life in danger!”
“I’d rather have my life in danger than die a million deaths from being rejected and abandoned by someone who I thought would never abandon me.”
Jiyong blanched. It was pretty obvious what she was trying to say. She’d rather be someone who placed her life in danger than be with someone who abandoned her. It was like he was whipped across the face, across his back, right in the middle of his heart. But he didn’t say anything. He just stared back at those beautiful eyes which were now looking at him with all condemnation and hatred.
Then, she turned around to go back to TOP only to find him gone. “TOP?” she called out. “Where’d he go?” she turned to CL.
“He just disappeared,” she answered.
Dara then ran towards the door.
Silence filled the room as both Jiyong and CL just stood in their places, neither of them looking at each other or acknowledging the other’s presence. Then, CL decided to break the silence. “Aren’t you going to look for her?” she asked. “It’s not safe for her to stay outside.”
As if snapping back to his senses, Jiyong made a move towards the door.
- - -
Dara hugged herself tightly as she sat down on a log, her tears uncontrollably falling down from her eyes. Then, her ears pricked upon hearing something that would be unusual in this night, when she’s out on her own. Her senses instantly became more alert but she didn’t move, pretended she did not hear anything. But then, the sound was the softest she ever heard, it was like a whisper and if she wasn’t so silent, she probably would not even hear it even if she underwent training. Alerted, her senses heightened. An uncomfortable feeling came over her nape and she knew that whatever or whoever caused the sound was now behind her. A hand landed on her shoulder. She didn’t think twice. As swift as a panther, she grabbed the person’s hand, twisted the arm and was able to pin the person down to the ground with her hovering over and her hand on the person’s neck. She released her controlled breathing and relaxed upon realizing who it was – it was Jiyong. He was staring up at her with wide eyes. She straightened up and stepped back, not offering any help for him to stand up. She let him stand up on his own.
“I can’t find him,” she whispered, not looking at him,
“I found him,” he said, making her head snap back to him at once.
“Where?” she urgently asked.
Jiyong sighed. “I already talked to him. He’s not leaving, he just wants some time alone.”
“Dae and Min are like his brother and sister,” she commented. “He’s shock with the betrayal. Even me, I never thought they’d do that.”
“Ahn had a bargain with them.”
“And what is that?”
“He promised that he’ll do everything in his power to get their adopted mother back to her healthy state.”
Dara was silent for a moment. “TOP would never intend to hurt me,” she then said.
“I doubted it at first,” he said. “But I think you’re right.”
Silence then embraced them.
“Where. . . how did you learn to move like that?” Jiyong then broke the silence.
“I had training with TOP and Han. . .” she stopped. “Han Eul! She’s my aunt and she’s with my mother! She might be in danger right now!”
“I’ve already checked,” he answered. “She seemed capable of herself and besides, it would be better if we don’t make it too obvious that she’s with your mother. Ahn thinks the phoenix is with you since you’re her daughter.”
“Well, tough luck for him,” she grimly said. “I still want to make sure she’s fine.”
“She’s fine, Dara.”
Dara flinched a little upon hearing him say her name. She went back to the log and sat down. She buried her face in her hands as tears threaten to fall down again. She flinched a little again upon feeling his presence beside her.
“You said you had some sort of training?” he said, attempting to have a normal conversation with her and hoping to distract her from her worries.
Dara pulled her face away from her hands and looked up ahead. “Yes,” she answered quietly. “TOP and Han Eul trained me for two months.”
“You’ve just trained for two months and you’re already capable of moving like that?”
Dara smiled. Jiyong sounded like a child amazed with someone who has superpowers. “Han Eul said it will come in handy, although of course, learning how to fight would not be useful to shadows that have powers.”
“We don’t have unlimited powers, Dara.”
She flinched again but she was able to hide it from him.
“When we’re exhausted, we would settle up with a fist fight,” he went on. “You’re skills will be useful but of course. . .”
“Of course what?”
“I don’t think TOP would allow you to fight shadows and endanger your life.”
She snorted. “It sounds more like you though, I mean before. . . TOP believes I can do it.”
“Still, it’d be better to be sure.”
“You don’t have that much faith in me, do you?” she snorted. “I can’t blame you, though. I did something wrong to lose your trust. But I’m not perfect, Jiyong. I make mistakes as well. I asked for your forgiveness and begged you for it. . . but maybe it was a blessing in disguise, you not forgiving me. If you’ve forgiven me, I’d probably still hold on to you, fight for you and never let you go. I would never move on if that was the case. I wouldn’t have learned how the things I learned from the training and I probably wouldn’t know how funny, sweet and caring TOP is.”
Jiyong was silent first. But then he said, “Sometimes, the hardest to forgive are the people who you loved the most because you have so much faith in them that they would not do anything to lose your trust.”
“But that’s all in the past of course,” Dara said. “Anyways, I’ll go ahead. I’ll wait for TOP inside.”
She stood up and walked away. And Jiyong could only watch her walk away from him.
-------
This fic is almost at its end.
I'm gonna seriously be missing this as well as your crazy comments guys!
Just a few more and the journey will finally come to its. . . . aigoo...
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On another note, will try to update CLT, ROTH and TOW later or this week...
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Your forever troll DG storyteller,
hagocimit
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