-Zelo's POV-

Everthing started with discovery. A confusion of elements. Old life left unfinished.
Strange faces get familiar. New nightmares stealing your sleep. New friends who provide security.
Only then will it be controlled. Through audits, investigations and by endeavor.

Beyond red, a shaking dream.
How many times do we have to forget our memories, that should have always stayed?
These feelings that I have are both, good and bad, but they start to fade away.
Has that smile soaked in sin, become lost once again, deep within this awful cruelty?
Please no. Let that smile stay inside both our worlds.
Although these deep wounds in my heart are tearing deep into my own soul.
Even now, as I stay in the dark, I can't stop remembering you.
Beyond red, a shaking dream.
The two of us were meant to meet, so that our fates could slowly intertwine.
Nobody can know our secret.
Falling down before we get to fly.
We can't ever go back, no matter which sins we paint red with blood.

The shady days are chasing me. They're trying to wrap me. Convince me to lie here, to stay on that cold, dark place, to hide from the sun and from your eyes.

I can not see behind those clouds.
But I certainly will not forget that this is not the end.
Under my skin, under my scars, it is you who take me again and tear me apart.
Because I wanna see everything that you are. Because everything that's left, it's not myself.
Life is every second here and is gripping tighter. All I hear is empty praise for the things I haven't done and fear inside.
But I know I will rise again from the ashes and again tomorrow you will be the light that guides me.
Because all that's left, it's not myself. Take away everything. Burn away. Burn all that I am and as break I believe, you just came to rescue me.

 

-Flashback-

She gently pressed her lips on mine and I could taste her salty tears. They tasted of disappointment, horror, betrayal and .. farewell.

"Sarang hae... ~"

That were her last words to me,but it just didn't feel real. We were close to the sea and the wind ate her words.

Suddenly Kira gave me a kick in my stomach and I collapsed cursing.

"KIRA-YA!" I yelled but she ran into her car, locked the doors and drove away with full speed.
"Ahhhhh~" Mel screamed and seemed like gone crazy. She was insane and I wanted to help her but ...
I ran after Kira's car, knowing that I would never reach her. I screamed in pain for the loss of my girl.

"WAE? KIRA-YA!!! WAE? WAE NEON? WAE NAN? WAE! WAE! WAE~!!!!"

I couldn't help but break down. "Wae? ... Wae?" I whined. "Why did I fall in love with you?
Why did it have to be you...? Why you? Why do I want you here with me...? NOONAAAAAAA~!! "

 

Youngjae, Daehyun and JongHun came after a while to pick us up. I was too exhausted to hear what they said.
Jongup was with Mel, who still crouched on the floor and sobbed. She had gone crazy... Well, but what about me?
I laid on my belly on the hard rocky soil and felt every pebble that stabbed me in the chest. It hurt... It should hurt.
'No ... Don't take me away from here ... I want to die here...' The sun rose slowly over the horizon.

'I want to freeze to death here... It has to hurt... Never again I want to feel something... '

I felt Youngjae pulled me up by my arm. I took advantage of his voice, but could not say what he said. My eyes were open, but I saw nothing.

Nothing ... except of KiRa. I didn't smell anything but her Perfume... 'Wild Rose', I remembered. Exactly.
I smiled painful as the memories came back. A wild rose...

The guys took me into the car and spoke to me. But I ... I didn't even look at them.
I took Kira's Bloody Rose, her gun, which she gave to me. Bloody Rose ...
She always had a Desert Eagle. She had called it Bloody Rose. She gave everything she owned a name.
She said when something had a name, it is real, it is closer.
I smiled. Mel sat shivering beside me on the lap of Jongup hyung. He patted her head and whispered comforting words into her ear.

 

At her funeral, I said nothing. Mel cried. She cried and cried.
"Hyung...?", I asked with my hand still in my pocket and grabbed her Bloody Rose tighter. He looked at me.

"Hm?"
"I have to go... I'll be back...", these words gave me a pang.
These were the same words Kira used. 'I'll be back!', I remembered her face, her words and her voice.
I lavoided his eyes of course he knew. He trusted me. He knew how I felt. And I knew he would do the same for Mel.

He nodded and his eyes were still fixed on mine. The hand that patted Mel's head stopped and grabbed me by the shoulder.

"I don't want that. I don't what you to go. Not to say, I forbid it. But I would do the same and you know that. I'd do the same and never let anything stop me. Junhong-ah."

He called me by my real name. Nobody does that.

"Junhong ah... Take care of yourself..."

I smiled heart broken.

"And you take care of your wife! She is everything."
"Junhong-ah. But you have to tell me once, how it it, ok?"
"Sure, I'll tell you everything at dinner! Hmmmm a nice steak, cherry tomatoes and bubble tea!" I laughed and walked away waving.
"Uch..." He laughed. "He wants to leave and all he thinks  about is a steak, cherry tomatoes and bubble tea and..." He paused and I completed
the sentence in mind. Because it will take this life of regret for my heart to learn to forget the name is carved in my heart forever. 

'KiRa'

 

Present

I am stretched out on your grave and I'll lie here forever. If you hands were in mine, I'd be sure they would not sever.
It's time we were together but I'm just lying here and I'm worn by the weather.
When my family think that I'm safely in my bed from morning until night I am stretched out on your grave.
Calling out unto the earth with tears hot and wild for the loss of a girl that I loved as a child.
"Do you remember the night, the night when we were lost? In the shade of your hunter and the touch of the frost?
Thanks be to Jesus, we did what was right and your maidenhead was my pillar of light...
I still will be your shelter through rain and through storm but with you in your cold grave I just cannot sleep warm."
 

-Melanie's POV-

To survive in this world, we are looking for the vicinity of the people we need. We trust them with our hopes, our fears.
But what happens when trust is lost? Who do we turn to when all is lost? What can we do, when everything we believed in, dissolves into nothing dircetly in front of our eyes? When all seems lost and our very existence is in danger, all we can do is run...

"Jongup? Darling? Oppa?", I asked as I jumped in my tightest jeans.
"Yes?", he asked, peering into the bedroom.
"JongUp! Don't you look!" I yelled and slammed the door.
"Why are you like that? We have a child together! I have already seen you !", he groused.
"That's not the reason! I've got a new shirt and I wanna surprise you! Yes, a child you should take care of! YongAh is screaming for her father the whole time!"
With a sigh that sounded lovely, I hear how he pawed in YongAh's room.
As I finally managed to close the button of my pants, I celebrated myself and I plopped down on the bed.
How long I could probably lie here? Long enough so I could know my ingrain wallpaper by heart? Probably not.
"Bunny?", Jongup asked this time before he came in.

"Come in, Uppie."

He carried our YongAh with him into our bedroom. She looked so pretty. JongUp had already helped to put her favorite dress on she wanted to wear today. Why the hell was she that pretty?
I mean with this father... Just every child of him had to be pretty, but with a mother like me..? Well obviously my genes didn't do anything bad to her beauty.
Zelo was sitting outside the front door with his back to the door frame. He got up and came in.
"Should I go with you?" Zelo asked and looked at me sadly.
"No." I said and gave him a kiss on the cheek.
It has been 6 years now.

'Don't forget me...' A more simple wish you couldn't have told me, huh?... 'Don't forget why I was here.'

"I remember everyday baby..."

I sat in front of SooJi's grave. For me she was still SooJi, not KiRa.
"I've never forgotten, SooJi .. I just didn't wanted to give you a grave speech.... Because you taught me over the years the difference between wrong
and right, to see clearly and to search for the truth. You taught me to be strong and that family is everything. Right and honorable. As long as these doctrines continue flowing  through my veins and you will be still alive.
You said that some things are just in God's hands but everything else depends on our decisions.
We have the ability to choose. You taught me to survive the battles that the future holds.
With this knowledge, with that love, with this friendship and as long as you're still alive in my heart, you're not really dead...!"