Comments on comments~

 

final_call- I'm glad I made him hate-able^^ Himchan's actually my B.A.P bias so I'm always worried when I make my bias a villain that he won't be very villainy^^

Myungsoo is currently on standby, he'll get his moment to shine sooooon~ and I miss those moments too.

 

Mary517- as someone who loves watching fight scenes, I wanted to make them go at it too, but then I thought of the other bystanders in the shop and couldn't bring my self to disrupt their nice afternoon at the mall... and Myungsoo... well the friend zone is like trying to clumb out of a deep hole, it's not impossible just really really hard (when you're inches from getting out of the hole your footing slips and you're back in) and not to mention he's so shy -.- to tell you the truth I actually base Soo's personalty on my own^^ and GO, well you'll see^^

sorry I'm late!

Junsu's character will be a bit conflicted, I'd go on but I think that's revealing to much. And Channie, he's gonna fight very hard to keep his current life style.

I really do like Myungber, they've got a good balance to them, I just can't write them the way I write others because to me Myungber is a bit more sacred, a bit more shy and sweet and that takes a lot of time (I have a lot of scenes in mind later on though, don't worry^^)

 

TheAwkwardMomentWhen- Himchan's going to bring a lot more drama^^

Grandmother has a very different character, she's gonna be a tidal wave in this story/

Dongwoo and CL seems like a really y pairing, I really hope someday they interact in real^^ as for story wise she's on the verge of killing him^^

agreed, grow a pair Myungsoo!

 

Nanamato- I know I cheer for Bangber when ever I can^^ I'm actually working on a story with them together though they won't be the main...

 

ajol_fxonee- Dongwoo is very protective of myungber, it's his dream to see them together.

Myungsoo's shy -.-

Himchan's a really fun character to write, and the badboy persona he pulls is still debatable (he does bad things but later on we'll understand more)

sorry I'm so late -.-

 

awfulidolhead- Hi!

I like it too, I feel kind of bad for Myungsoo and GO but Himchan's just to fun!

I think I need to clarify, Kim Junsu from tvxq was their friend, not Kim Junsu from 2pm who's currently “betrothed” to Amber... it never occurred to me while writing, how many Kim Junsu's there are out there- I'm actually not even sure if there was confusion on your part but there was on my part and I'm the writer...

and Junsu, well, he likes her but not to the extent of wanting to date and marry her, he does care about her but he's also got to think about his inheritance.

See the family tree I drew at the end of the chapter^^

I need more Haeber as well, it's got so little love when there's so much potential -.-

 

Chapter five

 

Amber let out a sigh, feeling strangely warm when on normal occasions she was freezing in the morning. She shifted and her arm made contact with something hard, her eyes snapped open. Laying there grinning at her was GO, her GO!

 

“Morning beautiful.” his honey like voice brought heat to her face.

 

“What're you doing here?” Amber asked and reached out, touching his face just to make sure he was real and not just a mirage or something- could you see mirages in the cold? Either way, he felt like GO under her finger tips and she couldn't hold her self back from pulling his face closer to her so their lips could meet, “You jerk, I missed you.” she mumbled against him, feeling slightly vulnerable in just her Pjs.

 

“Sorry Liu, I missed you too.” GO hummed and pulled her even closer, closing his eyes and letting him self enjoy this moment for a just a few seconds.

 

“...What time is it?” it occurred to her that it was a school day, she'd need to be there to help Himchan with history and keep CL from killing Dongwoo and-

 

“seven forty.”

 

“hmm, I'm gonna be late.” though part of her didn't feel the least bit concerned, blame it on just waking up or the fact that it was so much warmer under the covers then out in the open, either way, Amber Liu didn't want to leave that bed.

 

“Ditch school today, I'm only here for a day.” he begged and began to leave little of pecks on her lips, chin and neck, making Amber giggle uncontrollably.

 

“hmm, I gotta go though.” she tried to keep her voice down (the last thing she wanted was for her Grandmother to hear them) but it tickled and made her stomach flutter.

 

“please~” She hesitated, his kisses stopped and he now sat staring at her, just daring her to deny that she was tempted to stay all day and continue whatever it was that GO had planned, “I really have to talk to you.” he finally sighed out, not really wanting to get straight to business but knew Amber would never do something irresponsible unless it were important.

 

“Is it bad?” Amber asked?

 

GO paused, “it's something really great but also something I wanted to get your opinion on.”

 

She bit her lip, the idea of staying all day with him was something to good to be true, “if Grandmother finds out and kills me, I hope you'll make sure they bury me with my hat collection.” GO chuckled and sat up, “What, we gotta get outta bed for you to talk to me.” she was new at this whole flirting thing, but she seemed to be getting used to it fairly quickly, GO couldn't help wanting to do as she said and stay in bed but it had to be said and they both had to be serious about it.

 

“let's go on a trip.”

 

“Huh?” she laughed, was he for real?

 

“Just out side of town, where we don't have to worry about running into anyone we know.”

 

She should've probably said no, it's one thing to skip school, it's another to skip town altogether, the repercussions for her actions would probably be severe... but at the moment, as he looked at her like that she couldn't bring her self to say no, “I need to be home by eight, no later.”

 

“I make no promises.” He grinned then pulled her to her feet, planted a kiss on her lips before heading towards her window, “I parked just down the road, see you in a minute Liu.”

 

“Yah, GO, I need to be back by eight.” she called after him, grinning and blushing as she watched him jump out her window. He seemed eager to get her away...

 

 

 

“You said just out of town, we've been driving for an hour G.” Amber stated in the passenger seat, curled up in a blanket she'd brought from her room.

 

“Just a little bit further.” GO grinned, keeping his eyes on the road, trying not to give their destination away. Amber didn't understand the secrecy, it's not like she knew where anything was anyways- yet this route did look a bit familiar, she just couldn't place where she'd seen this place before.

 

It came to her when the ocean came into view a half hour later, she couldn't help chuckling, “Oh the memories~ the place you first drugged me.” she peered over at him, her eyebrow raised, “not planning to recreate that experience are you?”

 

GO chuckled, “nah, we'd need to get Seungho and Soyeon to come back from France to do that.”

 

“they're in France now? They were just in Japan.”

 

“Soyeon's pretty frivolous with her money, going on a world tour for her is like a game of pin ball, one minute here, the next minute there- Seungho's been trying to get her to agree to go home, but well, I can't blame her for not wanting to go home to her parents.”

 

“Why don't they get their own place together?”

 

“no money, Seungho's planning to get a job at the Hotel but... well, I don't know, Soyeon's not someone who can live a simple life style, she's always been given what ever she's asked for so who knows.” He pulled into the parking lot of a little cafe then killed the ignition, “I'd wanted to to go play on the beach but then I figured it'd probably be to cold.”

 

Amber chuckled, “and you know how much I dislike the cold.” she unbuckled her seat belt and fallowed him into the cafe, taking in the sea theme as they were quickly ushered to their seats. It was a cute little cafe with dolphins and sharks printed on the walls, sea shells and dried starfish decorating the tables and seats and the mellow cool colors painted every inch of the cafe. She wondered to her self why they'd traveled an hour and a half over there, it couldn't be just to eat in this little modest cafe, perhaps he had news she'd not want to hear, like he wanted to see other people or that he wasn't doing well in school...

 

“How's Jonghyun?” GO questioned as he spread jelly on his English muffin, focusing almost to intently on the toast.

 

“from his last call he sounded like he was fine, he says he's been seeing someone apparently.”

 

“Oh yeah... is it a... you know...”

 

“I think so, he didn't really specify, I mean he was talking on the phone and all, he doesn't really want it vocalized...” Amber bit her lip, worried that it grossed GO out, she didn't think she could date someone who judged her uncle, he was her best friend after all.

 

“ah, well good for him, I always figured he'd move on from Key one of these days.”

 

“huh, you know about Key?”

 

“please, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to see the way they looked at each other.” Amber shook her head, how GO could still surprise her with his perceptive eye astonished her more then the fact that he knew about Jonghyun and Key, he seemed to understand people far to well.

 

“What about you, make any friends in Seoul.”

 

He nodded, “a few.” he said with a smile and reached for her hand, intertwining their fingers, “Amber, you haven't asked me what I have to tell you.”

 

Amber paused, worried it was bad news, news that could alter all of this... he might have been in Seoul for about ninety percent of their relationship but his nightly skypes were things that kept her going, it gave her hope that even when she felt like a stranger in Grandmother's house, she was wanted by someone who took time out of his busy schedule just to see her face. There was the fact that he felt the need to take them all the way to the coast as well to give this news, it had to be big- with that said though Amber knew she couldn't back down, she had to face what ever was in the future, “what do you have to tell me G?” she faked excitement and squeezed his hand.

 

GO chuckled, “I've been doing pretty well at school, I'm at the top of my class.” was that it, he was just gonna brag about how well he was doing in school? GO laughed at her confused face and went on, “I've been keeping in contact with one of my father's friends who owns a hospital over in California and he's considering offering me a job once I'm finished with my studies.”

 

“what, that's perfect.” Amber gasped. California, the state she grew up in and the place she longed to be in every day lately... where her parents currently were... she felt a ping of sadness and guilt for the last time they saw each other, they hadn't left each other on good terms and while she called them regularly it never felt like enough.

 

“I was thinking of transferring to a school there sometime and well, I want you there with me.” He couldn't help feeling his own bubbles of excitement at Amber's excitement. The truth was he'd gone out of his way to introduce himself to his father's old classmate even when that classmate and his father haven't spoken to one another since they graduated. It'd taken a lot of convincing but he knew California was where Amber would want to be and that meant a lot to him.

 

She sat there, soaking in the information- back home with her favorite guy and her family... but god, it was getting serious. This had to mean something right, he was alright with traveling to another country with the mindset that that was where they'd stay possibly for the rest of their lives?

 

For the rest of their lives? Was he planning for this to be it, for them to spend their lives together? Everything was happening so fast, sure she cared about GO but everything seemed so final, so set up perfectly that it worried Amber a bit... he was her first boyfriend (techinically not but...) yet if things kept going as smoothly as they were he'd be her last.

 

How did she feel about that?

 

 

 

He had his arm around her, trying to keep her warm even when he'd already given her his coat to put over her own. She hated the cold but he'd convinced her to step out on the beach. She spent most of the walk to the beach grumbling about the weather, how no one sane should even consider going outside in this temperature, but at the site of the rolling waves and the little island just off the shore made her stop short. For a moment she felt like she was home, that the ocean felt more welcoming and loving then her current home.

 

“It's beautiful.” she sighed, feeling warmer by the second as she stared off at the gray clouds that threatened rain or snow.

 

GO smiled and slid his arm from her should and wrapped her hands in his, “over there's the place I first talked to you.” he mused.

 

“uh huh, where you drugged me and left me to fend for my self in the wild.”

 

“you had Seungho.”

 

Amber chuckled and peered up at him, “I never learned why you did that.” she waited, as if telling him he better or she'd never let it go.

 

“Soyeon bribed me.”

 

“I figured, what did she have against you?” oh, he wasn't gonna talk his way outta this with his pretty little words, he was gonna tell her.

 

“It's not important.” he hummed, looking away feeling ashamed of what he'd done. He didn't want her knowing anymore of how much he'd screwed up back then, he felt like if he let something like this out into their world that she'd dump this in a second, that she'd be so disgusted with him that she could never be as serious as he was.

 

Amber squeezed his hand, feeling as though she'd hit a nerve, “tell me... you trust me don't you?”

 

He stared off at the island for a while and Amber began to believe he wasn't going to answer, but then he gave, in a shaky voice, “I was an idiot who did a lot of things back then... nothing I'm real proud of,” he wanted to look in her eyes but he knew he'd never be able to tell her everything if he did, he couldn't look at her face that was sure to be disgusted by what he was going to say, “I... I slept with Soyeon's mom and Soyeon being Soyeon recorded it...”

 

Soyeon's mother? Amber had seen pictures of the woman, cosmetic surgery looked as though it'd preserved the older woman, but Amber didn't think a guy could seriously consider her beautiful... but then again, what did she know about GO other then he slept around, “She's um... not bad looking I guess.” the sound of his laugh broke the awkward silence, making Amber smile slightly.

 

“I didn't sleep with her because she was good looking, I slept with her for money... how else do you think I could afford my car.” he bit his lip, feeling as though he may have said the wrong thing- what did that make him, a male e? How attractive innocent little Amber Liu must think he is, “I'm not proud of who I am, I'm not proud to say I did things like that... but, I did them and I was good at it, I had regular costumers and everything.” She'd be sick, grossed out that he'd do something like that.

 

“Do you... do you still?”

 

he froze, and against his better judgment he peered down at her and found her still looking up at him in concern, “no... I mean I have you now, I've got no reason to.” he didn't want to confess that he'd been working until the day before they'd gotten together, part of him couldn't admit that out loud, not now that he was looking into her eyes.

 

Amber gave a half smile and squeezed his hand reassuringly, “That's all in the past then, you should forgive your self.”

 

Forgive him self? What about her forgiving him? Was she really alright with that? He found him self getting lost in her eyes, a part of him wondering if he really knew Amber Liu as much as he thought he did, how could someone just willingly trust like her? She acted like a pillar of strength for anyone yet never asked for anything in return... it lead him to wonder if she ever broke, if she ever made mistakes, no one was this... this perfect.

 

“to tell you the truth,” Amber started after a while, “I never got why me, why you'd be into someone like me... I mean I'm me...”

 

he was about to tell her she was an idiot, that she was blind but as he thought of it, he'd be confused in her position, it's not like he was the type to settle down let alone with someone like her, “I guess... I guess it took me by surprise too... I've always watched people, my parents when they used to fight, Seungho and his friends, I was always the one looking in while on the outside... I guess while you were playing saint to Soyeon I- I found my self rooting for you like I'd root for someone in a drama or something... the rest of the world became boring compared to you and before I knew it I couldn't even stand the presence of other women.” he let out a little chuckle remembering how confused he'd been, he'd never felt this way about anyone.

 

“still though... I'm pretty new at this, it's gotta be annoying.”

 

GO turned and held her hands in his, “I'm new at this too,” he reassured, and by the skeptical look he felt he should explain, “I've never dated anyone, I've slept around sure but I've always... always just used girls for .”

 

Amber paused before questioning, “I don't get it though, you say you just use women yet I know how much you love your mother, what happened?”

 

Could he tell her? He'd told her so much already and she hadn't turned away yet, why would this be the tipping point, “You gotta, you have to understand Amber, I'm a guy and guys are pretty curious about even when we're young. When I was twelve I had this maid, she was young and pretty, I'd brag to all my friends I was messing around with her even when she was in her twenties- all and all it was just a kid talking him self up, so even I was pretty surprised when she showed up in my bedroom in nothing but a smile... I was a and she, well she acted like nothing had happened after that... I was a prideful little bastard so I'd never admit that I didn't understand most of the feelings I'd had during and after it. After that, well, after that it seemed like girls were all the same- either after money or .”

 

“how can someone just take a child innocence like that?” she felt more weight on her shoulders, she could see this hurt him more then he'd like to admit and she felt she needed to be a pillar... but how strong was her foundation, she didn't know what she was getting her self into.

 

“People forget that guys get effected by things like this... it's likely even if I'd claimed she'd me no one would charge her, I'm a guy after all.” he shrugged, acting as though he'd excepted it already,

 

For a while they just stood there, both of them considering what had been said between them, though another thought came to Amber's mind, something she knew she had to tell GO about “...Hey GO...” Kevin's words wafted into her mind- he was telling her all these things, sharing things he'd probably never shared before, yet she was keeping something like this secret, “My... friend proposed to me.”

 

“ah, am I invited to the wedding?” he laughed.

 

“yah, it's serious.” she hit him though she couldn't remove the grin that was on her face, “he's a very close family friend and, well, apparently marrying me would put him in good favor with his dad so he can inherit his father's company.”

 

“hm, are you telling me you actually said ye?.” there was humor etched in his words.

 

“of course not, but-”

 

“You still feel bad for him.” GO rolled his eyes and patted Amber's head, “It's good the care about people Amber, but you never think about your self.”

 

“I... I just like it when others are happy, I like helping.” she murmured feeling as though GO was making fun of her- he claimed she should be more selfish but wasn't her selfless nature what brought him to her?

 

“That's all well and good Liu but I'm worried you'll go to far- sometimes people need to fall, they need to learn to pick them selves back up... you're an angel Liu but sometimes your helping could hinder someone more then help- we all need to learn how to stand on our own feet with out someone else there- and before you say it, yeah, I was the one to convince you to help Soyeon but that's different, she was thinking of giving up on living and even I couldn't live with that.” GO sighed, staring out a the sea and wishing they could stay out there forever... he wouldn't have to worry about his Angel then, he had an inkling in his mind that she'd give everything she had if she thought it could help someone.

 

“The ocean's beautiful.” she sighed in defeat, conceding that he had a point- Junsu, Himchan, they were both good guys at heart (she was sure) but sometimes you had to learn to fight for your self and her being “saintly” as everyone put it might lead them to believe that they didn't have to do things for them selves... still though, it wasn't in her nature to ignore a cry for help.

 

“it really is... so who's the guy who proposed?” he said out of curiosity.

 

“Kim Junsu.”

 

“that's a common name.”

 

“uh huh, also, one of my friends also asked me out.”

 

“you've been busy.” GO laughed, grinning down at her, “You're a regular heart breaker, who asked you? Myungsoo?”

 

“huh, why would Myungsoo ask me out (an hour away Myungsoo felt a cloud of dread float above him) no, it's my new friend Himchan.”

 

“Himchan huh, why you hanging around a guy like that?” Kim Himchan, he had a pretty bad reputation, though he had no doubt it was Amber who interested on “saving” said boy.

 

“We're history partners and well, he seems to be struggling with studying, I'm trying to get him to pass school.”

 

GO raised an eyebrow, “Kim Himchan, the boy who got into our school on scholarship- from what I understand he's got a genius level IQ, if he's failing school it's because he's lazy, not because he needs you to tutor him.”

 

“for real, that little jerk.” Amber huffed, Himchan's been playing dumb for the past month for crying out loud.

 

“Liu,” Amber looked up at GO's face, a stern 'listen to me just this once' look greeted her, “watch out for him, he's... he's worse then me.” he sighed, remembering good and well he didn't have room to talk- like Himchan, GO had taken considerable pride in his conquests so warning her to stay away from Himchan would be the biggest hypocrisy ever, “Please.”

 

Amber smiled and squeezed his hand, “Of course G, I'll watch my step, I promise.” she grinned then pulled away, “come on, I'm freezing!” she called over her shoulder as she raced towards the car.

 

He stayed back for a minute, wondering if he should have told her- she'd hate him when she found out but he just couldn't bring him self to it, not when she seemed so willing to take all his faults that he kept throwing at her... He wanted to stay with her though, he wanted to quickly pack their bags up and take her away from here so she'd never have to learn about all of the things he felt ashamed of.

 

He had a feeling though that his past was creeping up behind him, that no matter how hard he tried to push it back that it would manifest out in the open anyways.

 

 

 

“You have to call me more often, alright.” Amber bit her lip, hating these goodbye more and more- it always seemed like they were saying goodbye.

 

“We call each other every day already.” GO chuckled and wrapped his fingers around hers and looked down at her, feeling his blood pump fast as he watched her stare at their hands, “hey... I love you Liu.” he didn't hesitate as he pressed his lips against her forehead then tilted her chin up to kiss her lips. He closed his eyes, already regretting having to leave her... she seemed to be the only person he felt energized around, the only person he could look at and be sure he knew their heart... Amber, she was honest and sincere, brave and loyal, how could he find anyone better then that.

 

“I-I love you too.” She smiled and wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in his jacket, taking in the warmth and aroma- she was going to miss him again and she knew the moment that door closed behind her she'd feel lonelier then ever.

 

“Am I interrupting something?” Amber looked up at Junsu who stood with a colorful carton in hand and a tiny smiling playing on his lips, “You must be Jung Byunghee, Amber's told me a lot about you.”

 

huh, when had she, “ah, so you're Kim Junsu.” GO said and with out skipping a beat he turned, letting go of Amber and shook the older boys hand, “Amber told me about you as well, son of Kim Heejun the owner of Sunset Modeling.” another lie, what was happening here?

 

“Right you are, did you too have a fun date?” Junsu grinned over at Amber who stood frozen, wondering for a moment how he knew, then reminded her self that he worked at her school, it wasn't that difficult to see that she'd skipped.

 

“It was great, we went to the coast and ate good food.”

 

“ah, our Amber really likes food.”

 

She stood there, feeling concern ripple through her- it didn't seem right, them talking to one another, it felt like she was watching characters from two different stories interacting... the most concerning though was Junsu's timing, was it a coincidence that he showed up just then?

 

“I should probably get going, I've got to get on the road tomorrow morning so, ah, it was nice to meet you hyung, please take care of Amber.” He smiled his even polite smile.

 

“ah, I'll head in first then so you two can say good bye.” even when they were both smiling Amber felt a strange tension in the air, as though in a second lightning could strike.

 

“thank you hyung.” GO waved and the second Junsu closed the door behind him GO rounded on Amber, looking her straight in the eyes, “Kim Junsu, that Kim Junsu?”

 

Amber nodded her head, “Is there something-”

 

“You're really into playboys, aren't you.”He seemed to forget who he was for a second, then quickly straightened up, acting as though the shock hadn't unraveled his normally calm and collected personality.

 

She gave him and uneasy smile, “he used to live close by, we were really close.”

 

“Just... just be careful.” GO sighed and pulled her into another hug and even while he kissed her his mind was on a way to move back over there sooner- Himchan and Junsu were after Amber, there was no way in hell he was going to let either near her.

 

When he pulled away and said good by, Amber stood out on her door step for a while, watching as he left, apart of her not even caring that it was cold outside since she knew good and well that grandmother's house was nearing subzero right about now. When his car disappeared behind a corner she finally summoned up the nerve to go inside, finding, to her surprise, laughter instead of angered silence.

 

“Ah, Amber dear, Junsu was just telling me how fun your date was.” Amber had expected her Grandmother to be furious, homicidal even- yet there she sat acting as though she couldn't be happier.

 

“yeah, it was great.” why was Grandmother so happy.

 

“Well that's great, why don't you cut us all a slice of cake Junsu.” when the man did as he was told Grandmother turned to Amber, grinning from ear to ear, “You made a wise decision Amber, Junsu will make you happy and you'll never have to worry about a thing.”

 

“Junsu?” what was going on, “I never agreed to marry Junsu.”

 

a flash of disappointment crossed Grandmother's face before she smiled again, “of course, kids these days like to take their time in these decisions, I see though that you're trying and that pleases me.”

 

“trying?”

 

“you're date with Junsu today, to be honest I was angry when I found out you skipped school but when he told me you and him had spent the day together, well, I'm very happy you're considering your future.” Grandmother beamed.

 

“And we had fun, didn't we Amber, we went to the coast and ate good food- Amber really likes to eat.” Junsu grinned and winked at Amber who stood frozen as she accepted the plate of cake he handed her.

 

What had Junsu told Grandmother? Was he covering for her just to be nice... or was there more to this?

 

 

 

 

(Dun Dun Dun... ah, finally got this chapter out, to tell you the truth I've had everything mapped out in my head for a while but every time I went to write it my flow just wasn't... flowing...

 

here's a family tree!!

 

 

I wanted to doodle out a family tree, so we'll start off first with grandmother who married Grandfather but got a divorce seven years after Jonghyun was born, roughly around twelvish years after Donghae, the son Grandfather had with his mistress Hyangsuk was born. A few years before Donghae was born (about ten years?) Grandmother and Grandfather had Amber's mother (Jinyoung) so that makes her, Donghae and Jonghyun siblings (as in Donghae is Amber's uncle, not brother). (Jiyoung I think is around fifteen years older then Jjong)

The rest is pretty straight forward, Amber's mom got with “Jon” (a second gen Taiwanese American) and had Jackie when they were really young, then Amber quite a few years later. On the other side Donghae gets with a (still) unnamed woman when they're both pretty young and had Bada, I don't want to give to much away on that though since I haven't really even touched the surface on them yet...

 

so yeah, hope that makes it clearer, it's a bit jumbled (my handwriting is crap) but it took me like two seconds so I could spend time working on this update!! so yeah, the House of Kim is brought to you!!

 

oh and I slapped together a new “poster” because I was bored trying to get outta writers block and f(x)'s 2013 calendar is just to cute! I demand a flower themed promotion! they are the flower girls after all (F for flower and X for the female X chromosome)~ unless you like math better then flowers, then I guess they're just an equation... anyways, I like flowers...

 

sorry for the long wait...)