(AN- yo, it's been such a long time, how ya doing :D)

 

Chapter fourteen

 

GO stared straight infront of him driving slow trying to stretch out the drive to Amber's school knowing full and well it was getting on her nerves. He couldn't help it though, he wanted more time with her even if it p*ssed her off.

 

"Am I picking you up again after school?"

 

he nearly flinched when she spoke, "Channie and I were going to study, you can come if you want." yeah, sure, he'd love to spend time with the guy who was trying to steal his girl.

 

"Sure, I'll pick you guys up at three then." He couldn't even hate Himchan though considering his own actions, he'd messed up, he'd ruined the one good thing he had going for him and all over a night he hadn't even enjoyed.

 

"ok, I'll tell him, maybe Myungsoo and Dongwoo will want to come too, Woo's got a car now, maybe we can get everyone together." that'd been their relationship lately, hang out her friends while he stood in the background holding her hand. He figured she didn't want to spend any alone time with him, she had just found out he was having kids with her former friend, that was both a betrayal and a shock to the system. He deserved it though didn't he? He should have told her the second he suspected it, she would have understood, or at least, she would have tried and he'd have more time to help her understand.

 

Either way, he wasn't quite sure why she'd taken him back, he wouldn't have.

 

They approached the school, dread rumbling at the pit of his stomach at the site of Himchan and Myungsoo waiting there out front talking like they actually liked each other. They acted like friends now, GO figured their hatred for him probably brought them together. He didn't know what they'd do once GO was out of the way, maybe be buds until they got Junsu out of the picture? While all that happens he'd play daddy with CL and wish he were dead.

 

Speaking of CL she was sitting alone on the front steps of the school looking at her phone trying to ignore the world. She wasn't as willing to act on Amber's wishes as GO was, the second Amber had tried to reach out she'd shut her out. GO had figured Amber would be relentless like she had been with Soyeon but she hadn't spoken to CL or talked about her incounter with CL and that had been weeks ago. It was strange, he hadn't been there for the conversation but CL had said something to get under Amber's skin.

 

"See you later G." Amber beamed and kissed his cheek before grabbing her bag and opening the passenger door.

 

"Later Liu, have a good day."

 

"You too, say hi to Seungho for me."

 

He drove off gloomy and grumpy. He should have just stayed in Seoul, at least there he could be working on his career and not cleaning hotel rooms at one of Seungho's families' chains. His parents had given him a choice, move out or get a job and considering the price of rent being so high he'd practically begged Seungho for a job.

 

Seungho was another downer lately. Soyeon's quickly approaching wedding didn't seem to be bothering him as much as it would have a year ago, the boy had eyes for GO's girl and GO knew it. He'd gone with them to pick out her dress (one of Soyeon's requirements, Amber hated it) he'd watched Seungho flirt with Amber the entire time, he wasn't even secretive about it, it was outward flirting and it made GO sick. Soyeon had really messed with Seungho's head, he'd been so noble and pure before she got her claws into him. He missed the good ol' Seungho who'd sacrifice everything for his friends.

 

"Hey man, how's Amber?" he hadn't entered the lobby for two seconds before his usual questions. Go wished he'd just get a grip and go out with someone else, someone who wasn't Soyeon or Amber because at this point when he lost Amber he sure as hell hoped she didn't choose Seungho, he'd even place Himchan higher at this point.

 

"About the same as yesturday, pretending to be happy with me all the while cursing the day she agreed to date me. How's Soyeon." he was being petty but Seungho was being annoying and un-Seungho, he needed to stop it.

 

"Couldn't be happier, she keeps texting me to tell me how many days until she's Mrs. Hamburg." what happened to them? they used to be best friends now they were on the verge of hating each other.

 

"Well, on the bright side you got a date with Amber because of it." niceties, Seungho got what was coming to him and he was getting what was coming to him as well. He hated Himchan, he hated Seungho and most of all he hated CL... Myungsoo... he couldn't really bring himself to hate the guy, in the end he had Amber's best interests at heart and he'd kill for the guy really but him too, GO didn't want to be GO anymore.

 

"Yeah, our dates the one thing I'm actually looking forward too, you really ok with it? Soyeon invited you, you could go with us." it was a lie, Seungho didn't want him there, he was just saying that to feel better about himself.

 

"No, I'm not really interested in being near Soyeon, you guys have fun." And once it was over and Seungho realized Amber wasn't into him they could go back to being friend again, he really couldn't wait to end all of this BS between them.

 

"CL should be due soon, she still not taking your offer?"  there it was, some real concern from him. GO let down his guard a bit.

 

"I'm talking to my parents about getting a lawyer, Amber's right, they're my kids too and I need to be their dad... I mean I don't know if they'll want a dad like me but I've got to step up, I might hate her but she needs my help whether she wants to admit it or not."

 

Seungho stepped over and patted GO's shoulder, "You don't give yourself enough credit G."

 

GO nodded, "what with my track record how could I." he shrugged and pulled out his key card, "gotta clock in, wouldn't wanna be late."

 

 

“I don't need your friendship Amber, I don't need someone who's stupid enough to believe a guy like GO or Himchan have any redeemable features. You're an idiot, you think you're so high and mighty because you screw around with charity cases- well I'm not one of them, I don't need anyone.”

 

She didn't know what she was doing, she hadn't in the last nine months but she did know that telling Amber, the one girl in school who'd actually stuck by her, to go screw herself was a terrible choice. The utter look of betrayal on Amber's face still sat in the corners of her mind, the stupid idiot had been noble enough to forgive her in which CL had allowed her stubborn pride get the best of her. Myungsoo was mad at her. Dongwoo was mad at her, Amber was mad at her. Everyone she'd been leaning on the last nine months were mad at her and she had no ing clue how to get rid of her pride and ask for forgiveness. She knew they'd take her back if she said sorry but she couldn't bring herself to it, she couldn't admit she'd done a terrible manipulative thing that ruined their trust with her.

 

"This seat taken?" she looked up and found Baro standing a step below her's smiling a friendly smile. He'd been nice since the big reveal, he was the only nice person anymore and it confused her. he sat down without her approval like always and opened his history book. She knew he had friends, quite a few actually, so why was he so nice to her. She stared on at his face, taking in his soft features that warred with his more chiseled, acknowledging that he was quite beautiful really. He liked her right? she should have slept with him, he'd actually be an enjoyable person to have children with.

 

"I know it's a bit weird to be doing it in my current predicament but do you want to get a bite to eat or sometime." she mused out loud making him jump. She nearly laughed, he was cute.

 

"Does that mean we're friends then?"

 

CL shook her head, "I was hoping it would lead to something more then friendship, I like you and I'm kind of hoping your weird loyalty the past few weeks means you like me." She didn't know why people got so nervous when it came to asking people out, to her it was as simple as breathing, asking Baro out though was different. there was an underlining need for him to say yes, as the one person who wasn't disgusted by her confession he was all she had until the boys were born.

 

"ok, it's a date then." CL for the first time had no idea as to what to say, he'd said yes. She didn't for a second believe it would lead to more but d@mn, it was something."

 

"ok then, this Friday, seven, we'll go from there." she spent the rest of the day in a daze, he'd said yes and she didn't think anything could take her down from this high.

 

 

"You sure you really want to go to this thing Amber, I mean I know you were friends with her last year but, well, never mind." Myungsoo sighed and looked towards Himchan who nodded, thank god for Himchan.

 

"She's a scary b*tch and you'll be going to this stupid wedding with Seungho, your ex and the best friend of your current boyfriend who you already have a rocky relationship with." Himchan stated without fail from Amber bed tossing a baseball up and down boredly. Myungsoo currently sat at her desk trying to ignore the fact that Amber was dressing behind a screen in the same room as them and wondering how Himchan was able to be so chill about it, though Myungsoo knew the other boy was affected too, he normally would be joking and flirting with Amber at this point, he was for the most part quiet.

 

"Soyeon's not that scary and Seungho and I are just friends, Go's cool with it." Amber listed off in a chipper manner. She was faking it, the whole GO CL thing still stung her and she'd confided in them at the beginning but now she wouldn't even do that since Himchan had threatened to beat some sense into GO. He didn't want to admit it but Myungsoo couldn't disagree with Himchan, he wanted to punch GO, he couldn't even look at Chaerin at the moment. it was all a complete mess and he hated it, "and really, we dated for like two seconds, I don't think that counts."

 

Himchan eyed Myungsoo, his eyebrow raised. He'd had his doubts about Himchan before but he was quickly finding their genuine love for Amber fueled their friendship better then their jealousy of one another. he had no idea what they'd do if the either dated her but he was finding he really appreciated having the guy around, he said things Myungsoo could never say.

 

"Myungsoo and I think he's after more then friendship Amber, the guys been flirting up a storm since he got back from his little world tour." Himchan didn't quite have the tact Myungsoo had but he really appreciated how unfiltered he was, it was something Amber really needed right now while she tried to trick herself into believing she was happy.

 

"Seungho, please," Amber let out a laugh as she walked out from behind the screen and awkwardly tugged at her long sleeve. she'd agreed to a baby blue knee length with sleeves . it was simple but Myungsoo liked her in it, "he's not interested in me, we established that a year ago." Myungsoo doubted that.

 

"looking good." Himchan stated, his fidgeting with the baseball over.

 

"thank you, you guys really don't have to be my shadows all the time, I'm sure you have better things to do." Amber waved them off and went to her nightstand that had a set of earrings and a matching necklace her grandmother had eagerly gifted her.

 

"let us go with you, I'd love to go to a wedding with you." Himchan stated sitting up in her bed and giving her a suggestive wink, "if you and Seungho are going as just friends I'm sure he won't mind if you bring more friends."

 

"er."

 

Myungsoo thanked god for Himchan once more, "we've got nothing better to do Amber, you'd be saving us from a very boring evening."

 

"And nothing says fun like Kim Soyeon drama."

 

Amber hesitated before smiling, "Maybe having you guys there will make Seungho think twice about flirting with me." ah so she wasn't completely oblivious.

 

"It's settled then! come on Myungsoo, let's change." He ped his backpack and pulled out their clothes, throwing one suit to Myungsoo that he clumsily caught.

 

"You guys came prepared." Amber laughed, not the least bit surprised.

 

"I'm always prepared." Himchan winked and hopped off the bed, "And really we're doing that GO creep a favor, the guys so worried about making waves he won't even tell you he's not into the idea."

 

Amber's smiling dropped, "does he really feel that way?"

 

oh great, "All guys will feel that way after they've done something like that Amber, he really messed up and he knows he's going to have to do something about it."

 

"I don't want him to feel as though he has to jump through hoops to make me happy, I mean that's not a requirement, if he was bothered by me going to the wedding with Seungho he should have told me."

 

Himchan looked as though he was annoyed so Myungsoo spoke up, "he's trying to learn to trust you the way you've trusted him so far, he's not ok with it but he's hoping by giving you space you'll trust him more."

 

"Did he say that to you guys?" because they really talk.

 

"We just can tell, and really, we're not very comfortable with Seungho either, he's not acting like himself since he's been back, that trip with Soyeon really changed him." Myungsoo made his way to Amber and helped her with her necklace clasp she'd been fiddling with for the past few moments, "He's lost his entire childhood to Soyeon, what now? you're the only person he's even been with even if it were for only two seconds."

 

Amber grasped the necklace and sighed, "He does seem a little to excited to be going to this wedding, to spend time with me... I'm worried about him."

 

"We all are really," Myungsoo knew Himchan was lying, he'd told him when they were away from Amber how little he cared about Seungho but he was to smart to be that upfront, "which is why we feel insecure about leaving you two alone together, guys in his situation are liable to do stupid things in moments like these."

 

"You act like he's going to me or something."

 

Myungsoo looked towards Himchan and sighed, he imagined Himchan must be thinking that and him, well he didn't know, "I'm sure he wouldn't go that far..."

 

Amber turned to them and smiled, "Well hurry and get dressed, I'm already bring two wedding crashers, I don't want to add on late to my strikes as well

 

the three of them found themselves at probably the biggest wedding they'd ever been too. Soyeon didn't go for small and humble, her family estate was decked out like a fairy tale wedding with flowers and butterflies in every corner and it was all centered around Soyeon who was dressed in a traditional Silver and blue Hanbok. She looked stunning and also very different, plastic surgery apparent from a mile away from her chest and nose area.

 

"fancy place she's got here." Himchan said in awe, he'd never been to a place so big.

 

"Amber dear! I thought you were Seungho's date?" Soyeon made her way to them and pulled Amber into a bone crushing hug, sending Myungsoo and Himchan death glares as she did so.

 

"We couldn't help it, we had to come congratulate you on your business transaction." ouch, Himchan bit hard.

 

"Channie!"

 

"Who're you again, I don't remember you last year." Soyeon didn't seem fazed one bit, she brushed his comment off.

 

"Kim Himchan, Amber's friend, you remember Myungsoo right? He's her bestfriend." he didn't know who'd win if they attacked each other but Myungsoo could feel the tension radiating from both of them, they wanted to kill each other. He imagined it'd be a terrifying battle, Soyeon being bat sh*t crazy and Himchan being his own kind of crazy.

 

"hum, your tastes are so unique Amber." Soyeon turned away from Himchan and grasped Amber's shoulders, "I'd hoped to get back to Korea sooner but Richard's family couldn't stand to see us go, they really are inlove with me and I love that but I really wanted to have a bachelorette with you dearest, one last party before I turn boring and attached." she gave a little pout, her perfectly manicured nails holding Amber in place.

 

"eh, I'm not really into parties anymore Soyeon, I would have just been a bummer really."

 

"ah yes, I heard about GO's little scandal, I really should have been a better friend and talked you into staying away from him last year, he's got a rotten history and you're such a wonderful person that it's really unfair you had to get your heart broken from someone like him." she didn't look sorry, more like she looked hungry.

 

"er, we're still dating, just taking it slower I guess..."

 

"And I love you for that dear, if anyone can except that nasty Byunghee and his disgusting existence it would be you, you're an angel after all." Soyeon smiled and pulled Amber away from Himchan and Myungsoo, sending them both glares.

 

"Scary." the both mumbled.

 

Myungsoo looked over at Himchan who let out a growl, "You ever think Amber's a magnet for evil, I mean other then you and Dongwoo she seems to attract the worst bunch of crazies in Kwangju."

 

"You're not evil." Himchan raised an eyebrow, "for the most part anyways, but yeah, I wish she'd get a better hobby then trying to make the world a better place for people like Soyeon..."

 

Himchan nodded, "You're gonna have to tell her your feelings eventually man, she knows about mine, it's your turn... maybe if she knows a guy like you likes her she might give up the crazies." Himchan was such a weird guy, he always talked as though he would disappear one day and Myungsoo had gotten to the point where he'd hoped Himchan wouldn't. it wasn't very often that someone payed attention to him and it wasn't very often that he even liked others but Himchan was a good guy despite his shady dealings with the underworld. He even kind of hoped they stayed friends.

 

"Even if I did, I think she'd rather be with you man..."

 

Himchan patted his shoulder, "I told you before man, if anything were to happen to me she goes to you- not GO, not Seungho, not Junsu and defiantly not Soyeon."

 

"Soyeon?"

 

"you're not getting that vibe from her? this Richard guy's gotta be her beard, that or their relationship is open, she's practically dry h#mping Amber over there." he motioned towards the two girls who stood talking to a white male and Seungho.

 

"huh." Myungsoo mumbled as realization hit him, could that be why Soyeon wasn't interested in Seungho, then again why was she getting married? ah he didn't care, either way Himchan was right, the only guys who'd be good for Amber were him and Himchan, "Let's get our girl away from that weird 0rgy that's about to happen."

 

"I like the way you're thinking Soo." Himchan grinned and marched on along side Myungsoo.

 

 

 

"Amber this is my fiance Richard Hamburg, He's from a credible lawfirm in Newyork!" Soyeon giggled, "I have no idea what he talks about but he's really dreamy isn't he?"

 

wait, they didn't communicate? "he doesn't speak Korean? weren't you taking English classes?"

 

"well I know a few words here and there but most of what we're mutually interested in doesn't require words at all."

 

oh man she didn't want to know, "er, hey, I'm Soyeon's friend from school." she smiled the best she could though she didn't know what to think of this guy, he had rich playboy written all over him. she didn't like to judge others before she got to know them but he seemed like the type who'd have Soyeon around just for fun.

 

"You're Amber then, she says your name alot." he was drunk, possibly high, just that little sentence had him laughing and rubbing his bloodshot eyes. what was Soyeon getting herself into?

 

"eh, cool, er... nice decorations, you guys must have spent alot of time planning this..."

 

"Not really, like a month, the parents really like Soyeon though so why not, the girls really great in bed, crazy as but d@mn, she's a real keeper." oh man, he was horrid.

 

"right..."

 

"Ya know, Soyeon's got this whole fantasy that the three of us-"

 

"Oh look, it's Seungho!" She never wanted him to finish that sentence.

 

Seunghoo looked up from his plate to her call and smiled, making his way to them. Amber had never felt so grateful for the boy, she really didn't want to be around Soyeon's fiance alone or even with Soyeon ever again, "Hey Amber, glad you made it." and she was sure he meant that at least, maybe she was starting to understand Myungsoo and Himchan's words, Soyeon had ripped out his soul with this little game.

 

"I wouldn't miss it." Richard seemed completely content with out her talking to him so she continued in Korea trying to ignore the older male who was currently grinning at a few young girls, "he's a real... keeper Soyeon..."

 

"Isn't he, I've never had this much fun before, you should really come back with us to Newyork, it'd be even better with you there." Soyeon beamed and hugged Amber's arm, seemingly ignoring Seungho. What had happened between them?

 

"Ah, sorry, gotta finish up school before I even consider moving..." she shot Seungho a pleading look but got nothing, he looked like a deer in headlights.

 

"Hey guys, you ditched us!" Himchan wrapped an arm around Seungho, Myungsoo a step behind him. Amber wasn't quite sure what their thing was lately but since the whole crap with Go and CL happened they'd been inseparable, she appreciated that they were settling their differences but she had a sinking suspicion they were trying to get her to ditch GO which she didn't feel right doing. GO had laid his soul bare to her at one point, confessed something so secret and harmful and she still cared so much about him... he was going to be a father and he'd lied to her about it for months but she had to be there for him, she cared about him to much to abandoned him now.

 

Himchan's appearance seemed to Knock Seungho out of his trance, "oh, hey guys, didn't know Amber invited you." he didn't seem as disappointed as Amber had imagined, maybe they'd been wrong about his intent, that or seeing Soyeon reminded him of his feelings for her, either way she was glad they wouldn't be trying to to kill each other today.

 

"It sounded like to much fun, we didn't want you and Amber to be the only one's from our little group to witness this magical day." Himchan stated then approached Richard, his hand out, "Welcome to Korea Mr. Hamburg." he had to have practiced that for a while, Amber had heard him speak English before and it'd never been that perfect.

 

"You Soyeon's brother or something?"

 

"My boyfriend actually." Amber piped in with a lie that seemed to put Richard out of his goofy mood.

 

"So... I'm assuming you're not interested in joining the after party tonight..."

 

he was gross, "Nope, after this we're planning to have our own, it's to bad though, if I'd known a few weeks ago I would have stayed single." Himchan seemed to get the idea of what they were saying and pulled Amber away from Soyeon, boldly pressing his lips to her hair.

 

"D@mn, would've been fun... but I mean, maybe you both-"

 

"yeah, well I'm sure you and Soyeon should be getting ready for the ceremony." and with that she pulled her guys as far away from the couple as possible. she felt dirty, as though she would puke.

 

"I'm sorry Amber... I should of... I'd had my suspicions, she's been really..."

 

"let's just forget this happened, ok Seungho." she shot Soyeon a dirty look, the girl in question was grinning towards her. Amber didn't want to be her friend anymore, she didn't want to even look at Kim Soyeon, "She's been doing this all through out your trip hasn't she? right there infront of you even after you've... even after you've told her everything?"

 

Seungho nodded, he looked pale, sick.

 

"We're going, we shouldn't be here." Amber stated and pulled the still shell shocked Seungho away from the party, holding his arm until they were blocks away from the wedding and turned to Myungsoo and Himchan, "You know what, you guys are right! you're completely and totally right and I'm tired of being everyone's angel! I'm so sick of being selfless, of letting people walk all over me."

 

"Amber." Myungsoo held his hand out trying to calm her.

 

"No Soo, she needs this, come on Amber, let it out!" Himchan stated straightening Seungho up so he slouched less, poor guy looked like he wanted to crawl under a rock or puke.

 

"It's over, I'm not giving everyone a thousand chances at being good, I'm going to be a cold hearted b*tch like everyone else and cut out the tumors I've tried so hard to be friends with." Amber began to pace, her anger boiling over, "Grandmother, soyeon, Chaerin, GO, they all deserve a big F you and I shouldn't feel sorry about it. I'm done playing nice, I'm done being eveyrone's chew toy... I'm... I'm tired." the three boys froze as she burst into tears and kicked at nothing, "I'm just so incredibly tired."

 

Myungsoo wanted to go to her but Himchan beat him to it, pulling her to him even when she tried to push him away. He held her tight looked straight at Myungsoo, "Let it out Amber, f#ck the world, f#ck them all because the world doesn't deserve you." Himchan nodded his head towards Seungho who looked as though he wasn't dying anymore.

 

"I just want the world to be a better place." Amber sobbed.

 

"The worlds never going to be a good place Amber... it's going to always be full of people like Soyeon and GO... and people like you and I, we'll always be their punching bags." Seungho spoke up, "Soyeon does what Soyeon does, I was the one that allowed her to treat me that way... there's people in this world who don't care about people like us, they'll just keep taking and taking and we'll just keep giving and giving until we're nothing.”

 

“I'm so sick of being human.” she whispered, burying her face into Himchan's chest. She was done and gone, so tired of holding the world on her shoulders.

 

“There's still goodness though.” She hadn't expect words like that from Himchan, “You don't know how much you make me want to be different Amber, you could never imagine what you've done to me.” his hand rubbed her back and his head rested ontop of hers, “You're such a blinding light, you have the power to make me believe I can be a better person.”

 

“really?”

 

“If it weren't for you Amber I'd have dropped out by now, probably would be getting myself shot in the head really... but like Seungho said, some people you try and try to make better just won't choose to be better, you shouldn't be holding their bad choices to your incredible ability to bring light in this world... some people just have trouble with the light and fight it.” She looked up at him and held her breath. Her Channie, her friend who before recently fought her kindness. He was different now, or at least, he was himself with her and she knew that if she hadn't fought to stay in his life he was right... and if she were to lose him she wouldn't be able to deal with it.

 

“I love you...”