It's been a while so I'll quickly remind you of what's happened so far.

 

Amber's in her last year and currently dating the ever mysterious GO who recently dropped out of college. They'd had a pretty decent long distance thing that she was for the most part happy with but all the while we've got Kim Himchan, mister bad boy with a pretty face, who decided he wanted to corrupt Amber's stubborn innocents but soon found his own dark agenda wasn't what he really wanted.

 

On the other side Lee Chaerin's pregnant with GO's kids which lead her to reconcile her friendship with Myungsoo (and somewhat with Dongwoo...) to repay his kindness CL strives to get her step brother the one thing he seems to want- Amber J. Liu who still only sees him as one of her best buddies.

 

Lastly, while all that's going down Kim Junsu was approached by Grandmother and now tries to get Amber to accept his proposal of marriage... which sounds like some lame eighteenth century ripoff but... well yeah, it's just like that, something Amber's not for at all. It's still under debate whether Jun's a bad guy or good but one thing's clear- there's not much to this relationship romance wise, it's would likely turn into the most awkward marriage ever.

 

Chapter Thirteen

 

“We should get going.” Amber blushed as she tried to untangle herself from GO's arms. They were sitting, though more along the lines of half laying with him half way ontop of her, in the middle of her Grandmother's living room. Moments before it'd been innocent, they'd been watching a documentary on elephants for crying out loud then all of the sudden he runs a hand on her thigh and kisses her exposed shoulder. It'd happened so suddenly, one minute nothing then the next he had her blushing up a storm.

 

“I think we should just stay in tonight, I mean we can go out any night.” he mumbled, caught up in trying to keep himself from feeling her up completely.

 

“we had plans...” she hiccuped slightly when he leaned up and kissed her lips, “I wanna go out G~” she didn't want to admit what he was doing was exciting and nerve wrecking all at the same time.

 

“I'll take you out tomorrow night, I mean how often do we get the house to our selves?” he intertwined their fingers and brought her hand up to kiss it, “We've been dating for months Amber, we can have one night in for once right?”

 

“about ninety percent of that time was spent long distance G... it's not like we had to many nights out together.” she tried to give the most convincing pout possible, though it didn't seem to have the effect she'd wanted since he seemed more eager to keep her indoors.

 

“It's cold~ outside though, you hate the cold.” he chuckled, taking his free hand and pulling her up so she sat up, “let's stay here where it's warm.” another kiss and his hand trailing up and down her back, he was in a higher league then Amber when it came to this kind of game and he seemed to know it.

 

“G...” Amber pulled away and squeezed his hand, “It's not that I don't want to stay in with you, it's just... I feel like I know where this is going and I'm not ready- I mean I'm still trying to grasp at the fact that we're together... Is this what you were expecting when you came back, that I'd sleep with you right off?”

 

his good humored daze seemed to clear, as though he'd been slapped, “That's not fair Amber, you're acting like I only think about - and sure, I do think about it a lot especially when we're alone in the forbidden zone that is your house, but you gotta take into account my intentions,” he sighed and sat back, the mood ruined, “it's not that I just want , I could get that anywhere, no, what I really want is to have with you because it's been something I've been thinking about for over a year... and in retrospect that doesn't sound nearly as good as I'd hoped but, well, it's the truth- I'm into you and want to be closer to you.”

 

“Over a year?” Amber froze, “you didn't even know I existed until the school trip, it hasn't even been a year since then...”

 

GO looked away and scratched the back of his head, “Don't think I'm a creeper ok, it's not like I was stalking you or anything, I just... I keep tabs on everyone, especially when it involves my friends and family. You're Jonghyun's niece so I kept an eye on you, for Seungho and Soyeon...”

 

“Everything always seems to go back to Soyeon when it involves you guys.” Amber sighed then stood up, “So what? You said you wanted to have with me since then, why?” she wrapped her arms around her self, as though what ever he might say could change her world completely and she needed the extra comfort of a one sided hug.

 

“... I saw the way you treated Soyeon, she was a and still is yet you tried to help her anyways... is it weird that I found that attractive, I mean most girls would of clawed Soyeon up but you, you approached the situation in a way I'd never seen before... While the other girls are black and white your a vibrant rainbow and I knew from that moment I wanted to know you even if I didn't want to acknowledge it.” GO laughed with no real humor and shook his head, “it'll sound corny but you're the first girl that's ever made me shy.”

 

she was blushing and didn't know how to respond. He looked at her, not once looking away out of embarrassment or awkwardness and he seemed so sincere, “I-I...”

 

“Look, I know I'm pushing it, I know I'm going to fast but in the back of my mind I can't help wanting you to be the only fish in the sea, that you'll be the last girl I ever kiss or hug- ah , I sound like I'm trying to propose but in the end why the hell not!”

 

“Huh?”

 

“It's stupid and crazy but that's what I am when you're around me so I can't be held accountable for my actions,” He got down on his knees and looked up at her, “I mess up so many things, this speech for example, but the one thing I'm so desperately trying not to mess up is my chances of staying with you.”

 

“... Look G, I mean it's just , I'm not gonna break up with you just because you're .”

 

he nearly went white at that statement, acknowledging the irony of it. For a moment he wondered if he could hold her out on it but knew the situation he'd gotten him self into wasn't that easy and it was cruel to put her through that, it'd be better if she never knew he was about to be a dad, “not just... that... just what ever happens in the future, I want you to remember that I do honestly love you.”

 

Dear God, he used the 'L' word, how the hell do you even respond to that in this kind of situation? Amber panicked, a debate on whether she should say she loved him back or not dueled in her head and all she could do was stand there like an ice sculpture . Seeing this, GO got to his feet and smiled halfheartedly and placed a hand on her shoulder, “heh, ed that up didn't I? Well let's go out then, wouldn't wanna keep your friends waiting now would we?”

 

“er, yeah, let's get outta here, Grandmother's frog statues are creeping me out!”

 

 

 

Himchan was moody as he sat between Yongguk and CL, the later had just insisted on him sitting next to her much to his annoyance(he felt trapped). He hated this one probably the most out of Amber's friends, at least Dongwoo and Myungsoo were entertaining to him- CL was just depressing. A knocked up clinging onto her step brother and his friends because no one else will support her. He saw her type all the time where he lived, child support collectors not willing to get their hands dirty unless it came to . he'd pushed plenty of those girls away when they came calling, they always went after guys with cash, they only had one sense and that was money.

 

What was sad was the kid sitting on the other side of their booth between Dongwoo and Myungsoo- spiky hair and fairly good looking, obviously into her, he could see his attraction to the cautionary tale a mile away. Poor boy's been staring at her since the moment he entered the restaurant and she didn't even bat an eye towards the poor sap... not that that was a bad thing, really it was the best case scenario for the kid since she'd likely only him dry.

 

“Hey guys, sorry we're late.” ah, finally, Amber was here... and so was her dumb- boyfriend... damn.

 

“Amber!” CL chirped in an annoyingly sugarcoated voice, “Sit right there with Myungsoo, GO you can come sit on this side next to me.” Ah~ Himchan was seeing a trend, separate the boys Amber's actually into so she can sit next to the boy she's stubbornly friend-zoned. Such an innocent trick, seriously, was this grade school or something... but then again, he felt like he was missing something, CL had to have some cards up her sleeve or something.

 

“yeah, hey Soo, it's been a while.” Amber smiled brightly and plopped down next to the boy who smiled back. It occurred to Himchan how cool that guy was, if it were him he'd be pissed at the lack of response from Amber but he seems almost reassured, as though he knows the outcome and has accepted it, that or he knew something was in his favor- Himchan had a set belief that everyone had an angle which was probably why he was so stuck on Amber, she lacked edges and he was dead set on finding some.

 

“What've you been up to Amber? You look like you've been having fun.” Yongguk hinted and grinned, pointed towards his own mouth, “you kids and your hormones.” God, Himchan would never discount Yongguk's observation skills again, the guy was right! Amber looked like she'd just been... ew, with someone as gross as GO!

 

Amber turned red instantly and she nervously scratched the back of her neck as though she were caught by a parent or something- it was so insufferable adorable, “I-I... erm, we just...”

 

“We kissed, and we enjoyed it.” GO commented boredly. It occurred to him how out of place GO's presence was which is silly considering how out of place Himchan should of felt. Then again, while Himchan and Yongguk weren't besties with CL, Myungsoo and Dongwoo they were around each other more often then GO was.

 

Amber Blushed, “Ah, change of topic- how's your job going Woo?”

 

“Don't change the subject,” Dongwoo laughed, “our little Amber's turning red~ now did you just kiss or-”

 

“Yah, Jang Dongwoo, don't you go there.” Amber finally laughed as well. Himchan felt a stab of jealousy but didn't call attention to it, the last thing he wanted was for Amber's friends to see any weaknesses.

 

“Who'd of thought, sweet innocent Amber Liu.” Yongguk joked making Himchan wonder who's side he was on.

 

“Next thing you know she'll be popping out a kid-”

 

“GO's my baby daddy.” there was a stiff silence that followed CL's confession. Himchan sat there and for the first time he was shocked. It's was rare when someone caught him off guard yet here he was, he hadn't seen this kind of scenario. He was also conflicted- at one end great, GO is a big mother ing douche but then as he looked towards Amber, the complete and utter shock and sadness in her eyes had him feeling something entirely indescribable. Here she was, Amber who believed in the good of everyone hearing something like this from someone like CL who she counts as a friend, not to mention it was done infront of nearly everyone they knew, “Look, I've been wanting to tell you but...” CL didn't have time to explain, Amber was up and out of the restaurant in a flash with Myungsoo following after.

 

“Amber-” GO got to his feet only to have CL hold his arm.

 

“You're the last person she wants to see right now buddy.”

 

GO looked hesitant yet didn't go after her which angered Himchan, “Yah, you're going to listen to this ? Seriously?” he hoisted him self up and over the back of his seat (since CL was blocking his escape) landing not to gracefully, “Congrats on the baby.” he growled out then took off after Amber and Myungsoo.

 

Out side the restaurant he looked left then right, spotting two figures at a bus stop just down the road. He jogged up, slowing down when he could hear her sobs. God, he should be happy he should be excited that this was probably the end of whatever she and GO had but all he could think of was that the girl he admired, the one that makes him want to live up to what ever expectation she has was sad... she was sad and he had no idea of how to comfort her.

 

As he got closer he saw the way she clung to Myungsoo's jacket, they looked good together even with her crying her eyes out. His heart broke, part of Yongguk's nagging beginning to penetrate into his mind. There he was, Myungsoo, the guy she should be with... the guy who didn't need to show off or act on his jealousy. Myungsoo was the perfect guy for her, he was the kinda guy that made guys like Himchan and GO look like losers. This was what someone like Amber deserved and who was he to try to take that away.

 

Himchan was about to turn away and leave when Amber spotted him, “Ah, Channie, I'm sorry you had to see that, I guess things just got weird tonight...” she sniffed and rubbed her eyes, that stubborn strength towing Himchan back in. Give up? How could he give up when she was so enchanting even during her moments of weakness? There she was, on the verge of having the life she'd gotten used to pulled out from under her feet yet she wasn't willing to stay down.

 

“how about Myungsoo and I walk you home Amber... like old times.” Himchan smiled, though in the back of his mind he knew this wasn't a game any longer, he was invested.

 

“You guys don't have to, I can walk home my self...”

 

“like hell you are.” Himchan stated and Myungsoo nodded, “See, even Myungsoo agrees, now let's get outta here before you freeze to death.”

 

Soon enough Himchan and Myungsoo walked on either side of Amber, no one spoke which was strange for someone like Himchan though both boys occasionally patted her back or gave her a tiny half hug as they walked... at the moment though he couldn't quite speak the words that were on his mind anyways, they frightened him. He'd only cared about a few people in his lifetime- his sister, Yongguk, Zelo occasionally but Amber, how could he live up to what she saw, he was such a failure yet she didn't think that of him.

 

“Do you want to come in, Grandmother should still be out...” Amber asked, hesitating at the gate and looking back at them, “I mean, I can't promise I'll be much fun tonight but... but I could really use a few shoulders.”

 

“Anytime you need us.” Myungsoo stated and it occurred again to Himchan how much he was beginning to admire this weird boy.

 

“Really, do you even need to ask?”

 

Amber smiled, “I'm lucky to have you guys.” tears welled up and she laughed again, “I just feel so stupid, you know, I feel stupid and sad and all I really want to do is eat something.”

 

And with that Myungsoo and Himchan found themselves awkwardly cooking along side each other while Amber took a shower. In general Teenaged boys and cooking never mixed well but the too seemed to be fairing quite well considering, “Hey... about that... thing... did you know?” Himchan finally asked, peering over at Myungsoo who was busy chopping carrots.

 

It took him a while before he answer but when he did it sound hallow, “No.” It must have been a slap to Myungsoo's face as well to have his step sister lie to him like that.

 

“It was really messed up... what she just did infront of everyone... then GO, truthfully I've never liked the guy but I liked him even less tonight, especially when he didn't go after her.”

 

there was silence again then Myungsoo spoke, “I'm glad he didn't, I'm not sure I would've been able to hold back... I trusted him to take care of her, I told him if he ever hurt her...” the boy stopped and it occurred to Himchan that he was seeing something no one else probably has ever seen- Myungsoo's anger, something Myungsoo seemed to have locked away deep inside himself.

 

“He's a bastard, if you need back up I'm game.” Myungsoo let out a chuckle, “I'm serious man, we got our differences but when it comes down to it we both would do anything for Amber.”

 

Myungsoo looked towards Himchan and shook his head, “Amber would never want us to hurt him, she'd probably be disappointed.”

 

Himchan nodded, “Saint Amber's far to giving.”

 

“Hey guys, thanks for waiting up- what's that smell?” Amber strolled in a tank top and a pair of baggy shorts with her jaw length hair laying wet on her head. He wondered halfheartedly if she were planning to cut her hair anytime soon, it'd grown so long since the beginning of the year.

 

“Dinner, you said you were hungry.”

 

“I didn't expect you guys to cook for me.” with that said she was smiling wide. She walked up to them and wrapped both her arms around their shoulders, taking a look at their attempt at fried rice, “Looks good!”

 

She'd get over this and he couldn't help admiring her more for it.

 

 

Sunday morning GO lay under the covers in his bedroom, the normally tidy room lay in ruins after his drunken rage. Two days since he'd last seen Amber, two since she'd discovered he just wasn't worth it. The worst part was he'd been waiting for this to happen, he'd anticipated it... he should of told her, should of found some way to get her used to the idea but it was to late now- Amber hated him, he was sure of it.

 

“Self pity'll do you no good Byunghee.” his mom stated from the doorway, “you should be out there trying to win her back, not laying around hoping she'll take pity on you.”

 

“She hates me.”

 

“Is that why she's down stairs waiting for your lazy ?”

 

GO sat up, his covers falling down his bare chest, “She's here? Now?”

 

“Yes, and please son, shave.”

 

“no time!” GO jumped from his bed and raced past his mom in nothing but a pair of sweats. He took the stairs two at a time and skidded to a stop once he reached the bottom where she stood looking hurt and vulnerable but also determined, “You're really here?”

 

“Good morning to you too...” She crossed her arms and nodded towards the door, “Let's go for a walk G.” which had him nervous- was she cruel enough to dump him after she'd gotten his hopes up? Not knowing what else to do he followed her outside, walking beside her to the garden at the front of his house. She didn't waist anytime on silence, “You made a mistake.”

 

“I'm so sorry I-”

 

“You kept something like this from me- what, did you expect me to never find out, that you'd date me and play daddy behind my back? I'm not that stupid G.”

 

“It's not like that Amber, I didn't, CL doesn't want me to have anything to do with these kids, really it's like I'm not even the father.” he knew it was the wrong thing to say the moment those words left his mouth yet the cold look in her eyes felt unnecessary.

 

“So what, you and I would go to LA while CL raised those kids on her own?”

 

“I offered her money.”

 

“Cause money'll raise a freaking kid! No GO, that's not right and the very fact that you're so nonchalant about it pisses me off the most.” she looked back at him, her eyes softening at the sight of his pathetic appearance, all scruffy and shirtless he didn't look like the dead beat she kept imagining, “Those kids need a dad G and CL, no matter how prideful she is will need help... not only that though, can you really honestly tell me you won't think about them in the future, you won't worry or wonder about how their growing? I can't love someone who'd give up so easily.”

 

“Amber...”

 

“You told me you loved me because I care so much about people, that I'd sacrifice everything for others... can't you be like that too? It won't be easy but you created those kids and if you can sit there and just ignore that because your to scared... well I'll be honest, I find that cowardly.”

 

“... You're breaking up with me.”

 

“No G, I didn't come here to break up with you,” Amber crossed her arms and turned towards the sky, “I came here to tell you I'm staying in Korea after I graduate, I'm no moving to LA with you... I'll only be with you if you get your together.”