When the night of the performance had come to an end, I had been blown away. The air in my lungs constricted against my already tightened chest. As if his speaking voice wasn't enough to stop someone on their tracks, his singing\rapping voice was sultry, enticing and aesthetically pleasing to your ears. The deepened bass like voice including his dark intense stare was enough to title him as some kind of  god trapped in a normal male body who tends to have the brain and attention span of a toddler. Yet at times I'd never trade that crazy mentality of his - I've grown too used to it. I can't see myself not being around his childish ways at all either.

And at one point, I felt like I was going completely mad. As if I was all alone, everything around me seemed to be quiet. No one among the audience except for myself - the main attraction on his mind. At times he'd look in my direction, locking his eyes with mine with his direct gaze, while mouthing his lyrics with a gigantic smile plastered on his lips. It was wishful thinking to believe it was anything more than him working the crowd, but I became lost and fast. I lost myself in his performance, so absorbed by his presence and the smooth swagger radiating throughout his bones. He filled my body with throbbing passion.

Best of all, I cheered him on until the last minute. With my head held up high, he made me proud. Doing something that made him happy and doing it well. If only I had the courage to do the same with my life. When it was all done, I was able to point and say he was part of me, as if he really were mine. While I really knew he wasn't mine for the keeping, I basked in the small but precious detail that he was. Just for one night, I'd let go of my better judgment and indulge my heart in being completly unwise.

"Are you ready to go?" he questioned, breaking me of my constant incessant trance.

"Yes, but do you wanna get something to eat before we go back? I'm starved."

"I thought you'd never ask. I was dying up there!"

A few days had passed since their stage at the nightclub that night. We were back to work automatically and it rushed by so fast that it was already midway into the week. The both of us had to make an appearance at a meeting this morning that brought a multitude of companies together. Since it started so early, we didn't get a chance to throw in breakfast, thus leaving us in the current predicament of coming close to starvation.

"And I forget to add boring as hell. God who knew suits were so annoying to be around for such long periods of time?"

"Did you forget we're one of them?" I reminded him.

"Correction - we aren't boring or lame like half of the geezers upstairs so your statement is invalid."

And here I thought I was the one who went to Law School. Objection my .

"Well, you could always give it all up and excel in a music career." I whispered, still trying to be secretive as ever.

"First you wanted me to be a nurse and now a singer? What's next? Garbage man?" he laughed.

"You do take out the garbage pretty well." I joined in laughing as he fell out, his unamused look letting me know my joke was funny. He always takes offense to the best ones."Okay I'm kidding. But is it really that farfetched for you to do something like that? Especially since you're talented. You guys were amazing that night! I still can't stop thinking about it."

He stopped, and looked back at me, an obvious sense of pride visible in his grin. Did I say too much?

"I dunno, I think it would ruin the experience; I'm happy with the way it is now. The whole reason we all started getting together like this was because it was an escape; at least to me it is. It's the only time I can get away from what's going on in my life and forget whatever is bothering me. Eventually I have to go back to reality but during that short period of time, I can relax and be myself. Not worry about a damn thing. And the only way I'd even consider it was if you and the girls started up a band too. Bae's company would sponsor us or someone else would probably try to label us as the brother\sister group."

We both went on to laugh. Imagine that. Talk about never!

"I can see it now- ... Our parents would most likely surface and protest our albums to the point where no one would buy them from fear. We wouldn't get very far anyway so it's better to not even waste time thinking about it. You're better off being a lame geezer and me continuing to be the hot young assistant."

He furrowed his brows - the same way in which kittens were deemed "adorable". I loved provoking that reaction from him.

"At least one out of two is better than nothing."

Say what?! He better be referring to the latter.

"And what's that supposed to mean?" I asked, feeling surprised my cheeks weren't on fire.

I couldn't believe I even referenced myself as hot! I've never thought of myself as hot. Pretty, yeah. Hot, not so much.

"Take it for whatever you want it to mean, I'll never tell."

He started to walk away from me as I stood there trying to breakdown the meaning behind his words. He's playing with me again! This guy!

"Hey! Don't walk away from me."

The two of us were like grown children now, him, running away from me with an impish smile planted on his face while I tried to catch up to him.

Talk about professional. Thank goodness we were alone in the hallway.

"Christine? Seunghyun?"

The both of us turned around to see Jason and So Eun?

So Eun.

As in the girl who is no longer his fiancé because of me. Don't think I forget about that deserted island in nowhere land. After the breakfast table fiasco and then this, maybe it's time to make a one way trip out there!

We exchanged hugs, smiles, and eyeful glances. At this point, Seunghyun stood next to me as we faced the other two; his hand clasping inside mine. And thankfully for that because I probably would have fallen over without the reassurance. There wasn't any animosity but the memory of their fallout made matters seem worse. And I had my fill of all the situations, which seemed to keep popping out like daisies. Repellent is more of what I need.

"We're you guys here for the meeting too? Neither of us saw you up there?" I inquired.

"We were a few doors over. They split most of us up into separate groups. We were over in finance since So Eun is going to head our investment banking department in that division."

Figures. So Eun got her Bachelors in Finance and Masters in Business Administration.

"Oh that's wonderful... Are you visiting for long before you make the move?" I directed the question to her.

"I'm only here for a couple days until I go back. I'll work from home for the most part and make trips when need be. I'm not ready to make the move without my family. But maybe one day." she smiled.

"Um... We were just about to grab lunch... Do the two of you want to join us?" I'll most likely regret asking that question in a few minutes but it was too late now.  "I mean we were talking about getting together the other day so why not take advantage of the moment while we can."

The two looked at each other and agreed without even speaking words. The only person left to approve was Seunghyun.

"Is it okay with you honey? I hope you don't mind the extra company."

"Of course not, baby. It'll give us some time catch up like you said." His voice was so serene and unlike his usual when caught off guard. It had me thinking he was becoming so much better at this or maybe I'm just too attached to this group of people that I'm losing my touch. "Let me just make a call into the restaurant so they can reserve us a table. Is Nobu okay with everyone? I figure it's the closest for both of us." 

"They open for lunch?" Jason questioned. I didn't even know the difference.

"They only serve during dinner hours but I know the manager, he'll accommodate us if I give him a call. Plus I have a sushi craving that needs to be fulfilled, so I'm hoping he can make an exception."

Even without tasting the raw fishy product, just the thought of sushi generated a sickly feeling, bringing back miserable memories I once felt a long time ago.

Buck up and fight back the notion! You'll have to be in front of the stuff in a little bit. That's when you'll really need to control the urge.

Seunghyun went off to the side to make his reservations and So Eun took the opportunity to check her pending voicemail. Now it was the two of us. I had many things I wanted to ask but so little time. But instead of speaking, I stared at him like some kind of moron.

He was my friend! What am I saying, he still is! Just because he loves me doesn't mean our relationship has to become all awkward. Does it? I mean, am I even a sane person anymore? Not too long ago, I was thinking about a future with Jason or what it would have been like if I agreed to his proposal but recently I've started to develop feelings for Seunghyun. Where is all this sudden spout of emotions coming from? And which one was true? I wished signs came to people easier.

"Isn't it awkward doing business with someone you just broke up with?"

I had to ask. I just had to. God knows I can't wrap my mind around it. While she's being so nice about it, I knew I'd be a wreck.

"Of course there was an underlying tone of weirdness in the beginning. But within ten minutes, the feeling died off. And most of that had been from not seeing each other for a while. We didn't exactly end things badly, it was a mutual agreement. She was actually the one who really pushed the idea of breaking off the engagement. To her, it wasn't fair for either of us. Because if we continued, I'd grow to resent her after being forced into a marriage with someone I didn't love and she'd grow numb being with a man who couldn't love her the way she deserved to be. You know how close So Eun and I were but the imminent forced marriage always made things worse than they are now; if anything, our relationship has never been better since we broke the engagement off."

"How can she not be angry at me?"

"She doesn't know so don't worry about that. All she knew was that I wasn't in love with her. It's better this way..."

Pangs of conscience overwhelmed me. Everything lately had been all too much for me to take in by myself and this added to that. I'd never admit to it but the constant turn of events was slowly draining me. It only seemed minor at the moment but nonetheless, that didn't take away from the potent effects it provided in its place.

"Jay... I'm so sorry. I really didn't mean to screw up your life like this. I wish I could change things but it's too late."

"Will you please not apologize for a decision I made on my own? I knew the repercussions that would stem from my actions and I'm fine with it. With or without you, I wouldn't have been able to get into a marriage without love being the basis behind it. And I know you well enough to know that you are blaming yourself for this. Stop. Don't do this to yourself. Because it hurts me even more to know you're hurting yourself on my account."

Jason's confession eased the current spark at the moment but this pained feeling was so much deeper than his white lie with So Eun. In fact, his actions were quite chivalrous. He not only saved So Eun from feeling unqualified to be his mate but also kept the good standing friendship So Eun and I shared to stay that way. And even though his lie managed to sway away bad events from occurring, the false facts in general were something I started resenting since I had been doing so much of it lately. Lying was the worst of it. The evil spirit that rooted towards all my problems at the moment and it was most likely what was making them worse as time went on. 

"Everything is set, our room should be ready in five minutes." Seunghyun said, breaking apart the incomplete conversation between Jason and I. 

----

I may have not been keen on the food choice my 'honey' decided to order for lunch but at least the fine dining Japanese restaurant had plenty of other items for me to choose from. And a nice view also helped.

The main dining area of the restaurant was a stunner in itself. Textured walls of ligneous birch trees and sticks of bamboo. Lighten lacquered wood tables, leather booths backed with intricate cloth cushions in nacarat,  floor-length curtains draped down in that s