Note: this takes place directly after the last chapter, so you might want to go back and read the last bit of it to refresh your memory~
 

❧ 
 

Kyungsoo on the other hand, not so much. He hadn't mentioned it to Jongin, because he didn't want him to worry, but he'd be having nightmares recently. Well...more like for the past several years. They varied, but they all seemed to revolve around one thing in particular.

Losing something very dear to him.

And every time he'd struggle to help his mother, father, an old friend, or even his grandfather, he'd come so close but would fail to call out for help just before they'd slip into the darkness.

Even in his dreams Kyungsoo was mute.

He remembers when the dreams first began, and recalls how the dream was so vivid he'd actually thought his mother had died. He had called her in the middle of the night, in a cold-sweat, and when she picked up the phone and answered, he promptly hung up the phone and burst into tears, frightened and confused.

Kyungsoo can thankfully say he's over that stage now, but it certainly isn't any good for his sleep.

So he lies awake on the couch, staring straight ahead into the darkness of the room. His body is exhausted, but fear always keeps him awake until his eyelids get too heavy and his body finally eases into sleep.


Dreams feel like they last hours, when in reality only a short period of time has past. Perhaps it's only twenty minutes that Kyungsoo has been dreaming, but he can't be sure, because it honestly feels like he's been running through this dreamscape for twenty hours. Kyungsoo can hear his old grandfather calling out in the distance, somewhere in the thicket of dark green vines and deep fog but he can't respond. His heart races with frustration as he pushes himself to run on, towards the sound of the voice, barely avoiding the roots threatening to trip him as he sprints.

He freezes when there's an overwhelming humming sound. Like a swarm of angry bees moving quickly towards their target. The weak sound of his grandfather's voice is drowned in the buzz and he flees. This time he stumbles over roots and tears through vines that threaten to hold him, but the noise doesn't dissipate. It comes so close and so loud, swarming his mind. Kyungsoo panics.

He awakes when he meets the hard floor of his living room with a thud. The buzzing is still there, and Kyungsoo realises it's his phone ringing.

It's Jongin.

He reaches for the phone, resting on the couch cushion, and it stops ringing in his hands. There's a text message as well.

"are you okay hyung?" it reads. And seconds later, the phone buzzes once in his hand as another text comes in.
"hyung??"

"I'm fine. Sorry to wake you!" he responds quickly, a little embarrassed he managed to wake the other.

"come here kyungsoo~~~"

Kyungsoo blinks away the haze from his eyes, re-reading the message.
"Why, are you okay?"

"just come"

So he stands and slowly walks into his room where Jongin is waiting, hair ruffled from sleep.

"I heard you fall. And before that, you knocked something down."

Kyungsoo simply shrugs, eyes examining the ground.

"Were you sleepwalking or something?"

Kyungsoo looks up, shocked and slightly amused, before shaking his head.

"So it was a bad dream?" Jongin presses.

Kyungsoo shrugs again and Jongin motions for him to walk over.

"I would have gone to you myself, but I...I can't really...move." he frowns a little, but lights up again as he grabs Kyungsoo's hand and sits him down on the edge of the bed. "You know, I'm a little cold."

Kyungsoo picks up a handful of blanket and lifts it for Jongin to see.

"No, it's okay. I don't want another blanket. I want you."

Kyungsoo's eyes widen in surprise and Jongin is giving him a devilish grin. He can feel his heart flutter, but he blames it on the panic he just experienced during his nightmare.

"I can protect you in your dreams~"

Kyungsoo playfully shoves him, but Jongin's eyes are full of sincerity.

"Stay here...and if you have another nightmare, I'll wake you up, okay?" his voice is soft and soothing. Kyungsoo can't deny him. He can never deny him.

Kyungsoo drifts off to sleep feeling the warm heat of Jongin beside him. Kyungsoo had been laying still for quite some time, and had felt Jongin slip his arms around him and press, just barely, against his back. Somewhere between the comforting hold of Jongin and the gentle puffs of warm air onto his neck, he's put to sleep.

❧

Kyungsoo awakes to see only a small bit of light entering the room through mostly closed curtains. The ones his mother picked out for him when he'd first moved here. They weren't his style at all, they completely clashed with the room, and he's a little glad Jongin hadn't noticed them last night.

Speaking of Jongin, the deadweight was covering almost half his body and was out like a log. Limbs sprawled out all over him in a way that doesn't seem at all comfortable, but his face... His face is peaceful. Smooth, lightly-tanned skin and perfectly set cheekbones. Long black eyelashes reaching out to touch the highest points of his cheeks. Plush lips perfect for kissing... Kyungsoo doesn't dare try that, though. He's trapped anyways, and after gazing at Jongin, he doesn't think he'd mind appreciating the younger man like this for a while longer. He does however lift his free arm to gently push some locks of hair away to the side to get a better look. Jongin's brow furrows and he shifts on top of Kyungsoo a little. Kyungsoo thinks its beautiful and he uses the pad of his thumb to gently smooth it away.
 

Jongin wakes up soon after, but pretends to still be asleep when he feels Kyungsoo lightly drawing patterns across his back. Also, Jongin doesn't feel like getting off Kyungsoo and ridding himself of the warmth of the other's body. Jongin shivers from the tingles being sent up his spine and Kyungsoo stops.

"Mmmff...why'd you stop?" Jongin asks, his voice rough with sleep. He opens an eye to get a glimpse of the surprised look on his boyfriend's face. Wide eyes, raised eyebrows and a hint of embarrassment. Jongin chuckles softly before sitting up, running a hand through wild bed-head in an attempt to tame it.

"I think I'm going to have to see the doctor today. Hopefully I can get an appointment... If you want, you could come along." Jongin isn't going to push it, but he hopes Kyungsoo will go with him. He lifts his gaze to see if he gets a response and finds Kyungsoo looking unsure.

"Good! I'm glad you'll come! It's kind of odd going alone sometimes. My mother gets in the way asking questions and whatnot..." Jongin smiles half-heartedly. Of course Kyungsoo can't exactly protest, but he knows his boyfriend wouldn't actually mind.

So after a quick meal of the tastiest kimchi soup Jongin has ever tasted, they're making their way to the doctor's office.

 

Kyungsoo has to support a small majority of Jongin's weight to get him out of the cab and into the waiting room, and he's a little exhausted when they get to sit down. He isn't self conscious of his heavy breathing until he gets a text.

"Hey, I'm not THAT heavy."

Kyungsoo looks beside him, at Jongin, who's mimicking a hurt expression, before texting back,

"You're heavy enough. Plus, it's not like you've had much exercise recently..."

Jongin quietly agrees and leans into him, head resting on his shoulder. Some of his boyfriend's hair tickles his neck, and a small smile plays on his lips.

"Kim Jongin?"

The boys look up to see the doctor waiting in the doorway. Kyungsoo thinks the doctor's face makes him look young, although his clothing, the ironed button-down and straight tie that matches perfectly, suggests otherwise.

Jongin slowly sits up straight, and Kyungsoo stands, preparing himself to help Jongin along. He offers him a hand and pulls the younger man to a stand, immediately moving close to allow Jongin a place to lean.

The doctor's gaze falls and he examines the way Jongin's legs struggle to step forward.

"You weren't kidding when you said you can hardly walk..." he turns to Kyungsoo. "I'm Doctor Choi, have you been helping him around like this for awhile?"

Kyungsoo bows slightly in greeting and turns slightly to Jongin, hoping he'll say something on his behalf.

"He's mute," Jongin states quietly. "...But, no, it was just last night," he pushes himself forward so they continue towards the exam room. "Yesterday was one of my worse days in general," Jongin trails off and Kyungsoo helps him sit once they reach the room.

"Got it." Dr.Choi responds as he jots down a quick note. "I think I know what's beginning to happen but we'll have to see. Can you take off your shoes and socks for me please?"

Jongin does as he's told and Kyungsoo watches as the doctor turns and grabs a cotton ball from a small glass jar.

"I hope you're ticklish!" Dr.Choi smiles a little as he walks over. "Just put out your foot for me, please."

The cotton ball traces the underside of Jongin's foot in a way that would have Kyungsoo rolling around wheezing for air. Even with the other foot, Jongin doesn't budge and his expression is an indication that he's also a little surprised at his calmness.

"I...can't feel it." his voice is a near whisper but it's audible.

"Hmm... Yes, it would seem that way. Let me try one last thing, if you don't mind."

Jongin nods, scooting closer to Kyungsoo while the doctor grabs the next test item from the cabinet.

He takes Jongin's foot in one hand and hold a pin in the other. "I'll be very careful, but just tell me if you can feel the prick."

Jongin bites his lip nervously, but nods. He watches the pin poke the skin on the bottom of his foot, there's no noticeable sensation. Dr.Choi's eyes meet his and he shakes his head. The pin hits the top of his foot near his ankle and he places his hand over Kyungsoo's when a sharp burst of pain hits him. "Yeah I felt that."

Silence fills the room as both Jongin and Kyungsoo watch the doctor read through his records.

"Your condition is progressing a little faster than we had predicted, unfortunately. Your response time is slow, and you didn't really move away from the pain. I don't think your muscles are strong enough, so that's why you're having difficulty walking and standing."

Jongin's hand grips Kyungsoo's a bit tighter. "Well what should I do?"

"Physical therapy. Lots and lots of physical therapy, even more than what you're doing now. The longer you can keep those muscles in working order, the better off you'll be. I don't think you'll need a wheelchair yet, but crutches may be helpful."

Jongin's expression is sour, but he nods in defeat before the doctor turns and leaves the room.

And once again, in a moment of pure innocence and weakness, Jongin has pulled Kyungsoo in for a tight hug.

Kyungsoo doesn't know if he himself is trembling, or if Jongin is, but he doesn't care to find out right now. Kyungsoo holds Jongin closer, hand subconsciously through the dark hair at the back of his neck. It relaxes them both and the shaking stops. They reluctantly ease away from each other just before Dr.Choi returns, carrying a set of crutches.

"They'll take some getting used to. And don't use them to do all your walking, either. Just use them for balance and support, okay?"

Jongin agrees, getting further instructions from the doctor. Even so, it's not too long before they're on their way out of the clinic, Kyungsoo holding the door as Jongin slowly makes his way through it

 

❧

Mid-spring days are spent with walks in the park (for as long as Jongin can manage) and ice cold patbingsu on the hotter days. Each day the air smells a little more fresh and the leaves more green. It's spring at it's finest and the young men happily welcome the nice weather by getting out more often.

Hot cocoa is replaced by another drink Jongin enjoys, lemonade. (Kyungsoo should've guessed he would like a drink just as sweet and refreshing.)

After purchasing their drinks, they walk to the same tree they always do and sit on the grass in its shade. Kyungsoo likes resting his back against the smooth bark of the tree and Jongin leans against him, body blocking the cold breezes of wind. Silver crutches rest near Jongin's legs in the grass, where the young man had dropped them carelessly.

Jongin talks a lot, and Kyungsoo listens, responding every now and then by sending a text message with a question or comment.

Jongin also has a habit of telling really bad jokes, but Kyungsoo can't help but smile, and sometimes laugh noiselessly, because Jongin actually finds the jokes hilarious.

Kyungsoo shoves Jongin when the younger boy laughs and spills a bit of lemonade onto his shirt. He lets Jongin take a napkin and press it to the damp spot on his chest. His heart thrums and he wonders if Jongin can feel it, because he can certainly hear it loud and clear. The older is about to mouth out his thanks, when suddenly a pair of lips is pressingly ever so gently against his own. The feeling is new, but not unwanted at all. It takes a moment for Kyungsoo to even process that Jongin is kissing him. The taste of sweet lemonade is on Jongin's mouth and his lips are pleasantly warm and plush. They break apart after several seconds and Jongin's eyes flicker open to meet Kyungsoo's.

Jongin looks uneasy, and he's trying to read Kyungsoo's expression, so the older boy offers a gentle smile. Jongin mirrors him, looking relieved and sits back again, looking pleased with himself. It's a minute or so before he speaks, "I wanted to do that all day."

Kyungsoo looks over to him quizzically, but he still has a smile plastered on his face and butterflies in his stomach.

A/N: Finally! That was a fairly long chapter don't you think~? I enjoyed writing it, actually. especially their kiss which i completely didn't plan i just kind of wanted to add it i guess ^^ I also think the next chapter will be one of the last! Yes, the story is winding down~ 

one note i've been wanting to add for the past four or five chapters: IT'S SO HARD TO WRITE A MUTE CHARACTER. honestly, there has been an uncountable amount of times when i've given Kyungsoo dialogue, and then i always remember he can't speak and have to go and fix it. OTL

As usual, i want to thank you all for the love you give me. <3 the fact that any of you are even reading this story is crazy to me! In case any of you are wondering, i will be writing another kaisoo fic when i finish this one (i'm super excited for it since i have most of it planned out~)