Fans were crying and yelling when Jongin's, or Kai, as he was actually known to the fans, manager came out from backstage and explained the situation. "Kai is okay, only suffering a little fatigue it seems. He'll be going to the hospital just to be safe though. He sends his apologies for not being able to perform for you all, but he hopes you will enjoy the festival! Thank you!" he power-walked off stage and was led to the van where Jongin was already waiting inside.

They arrived at a hospital no more than forty minutes later. Doctors were awaiting them and Jongin was actually wheeled upstairs in a wheelchair. The most humiliating part about the whole experience was the flashing of cameras, and the sounds of reporters' voices covering the "breaking news". Jongin wanted to curl up into a ball and disappear because he never liked all this publicity to begin with, but now that they were going to be writing and talking about his inability to dance, he was even more put-off.

"So I checked your records and you seem to have had back problems recently?" a tall, but young doctor stood before him now.

"Yeah, but it was because I hurt myself during practice." Jongin responded and his manager nodded in agreement.

"Oh?" the man looked down at the report in his hands, scanning it quickly. "Okay, I see then. Well since we have such a recent MRI of your spine here, and it looks quite nice, we're going to have to check one other place. Your brain."

Jongin's jaw drops a bit, and he's confused for a second because how could his brain effect-oh...right. (Apparently his condition also made him a bit dumb.) The last thing he wanted to know was that he had some sort of brain disease or tumour.

"It'll be another MRI, but we'll get it done right now. Do you have any claustrophobia?"

Jongin mulled over a response in his head. Admitting to his fear was something he tried to avoid. "I...uh...sometimes."

Luckily, the doctor had read his cautious facial expression and replied with "Well, let's just be safe and give you a slight sedative." to which he nodded his understanding.

When the time came for the scan, Jongin was drowsy but comfortable. He was glad he had sort of swallowed his pride and gotten sedatives instead of pushing through it. The experience was a lot less stressful this way and Jongin took a short nap afterwards while he and his manager awaited a diagnosis, or any sort of word.

The radiologist came out bringing news. Nothing on the MRI looked concerning at all. It could be considered good news, but it still left the mystery of why he couldn't feel his legs.

Jongin kept feeling the need to remind the doctor and nurses that he needed mobility to dance. In his mind there was no way he would be kept from dancing. Fear had engulfed him and he was becoming a mess. The manager stayed with Jongin and tried to calm him down until his mother arrived.

She took a seat beside her son and hugged him. "My Jongin-ah...my sweet dancer... Relax, okay? We'll figure it out and make sure you're all better."

To Jongin, his mother meant the world. Everything about her was comforting. The tone of her voice was always smooth, she spoke softly, and Jongin remembered that she would rarely raise it (so when she did, she meant business). Her warmth and scent reminded her of his childhood, the days long ago when he'd dance around the house for hours until he got too tired. The way she had her arms wrapped around him brought back memories of how she'd happily hug him after they had done a fun little dance in the living room, a big smile always on her face. Jongin missed home a lot, especially as a new artist. There was rarely a spare minute in his life nowadays. Having his mom now with him, really did help him settle down.

A few tests, questions, and several excruciatingly long hours at the hospital later, the doctors had come up with a diagnosis via results from a genetics test.

"According to the test results, you have hereditary spastic paraplegia."
"So what exactly does that mean? How did this happen? Is it treatable? Or does he need surgery?" Jongin's mother was quick to respond, while Jongin just sat lost in thought.

It was the name that scared him. Spastic? He wasn't having any involuntary twitching. Paraplegia? No, it's not like he was unable to move his legs. There was no paralysis and there was no way that diagnosis made sense.

"Based on the family history you gave us, we decided to run genetic tests just in case. From the previous MRIs, we were able to rule out multiple sclerosis and we didn't see any abnormalities in your son's more recent MRI. We had hoped it was just spastic diplegia, but unfortunately that isn't the case." the doctor explained as best he could.

"Unfortunately?" his mother echoed, "does that mean this is a bad thing for him to have? Will he need surgery to get better?"

"No, actually... I'm afraid there is no surgery or treatment that will make him well again." the doctor bowed his head sympathetically.

Jongin could feel his heart beating, aching almost painfully in his chest. Over and over he could hear the doctor's words in his head, but he had trouble processing them. Or perhaps part of him was just trying to un-hear them. Finally, words came to his lips. "C-can I dance?" he uttered, staring at the tile floor in front of him to avoid the looks of the two adults in the room. There was a slight pause before he received a reply. Jongin knew the news was going to hurt, but he didn't want it drawn out any longer.

"Maybe. But...not for much longer, I don't think. The thing about HSP is that it's a progressive condition, so it will only get worse with time. For now there is no known way to treat or reverse the damage already done, though typically people with the disease never become fully paralysed, parapelegia is normally the prognosis. Medications and physical therapy only do so much to help but it can lengthen the amount of time you have before you...may need to use a wheelchair."

Mrs. Kim and Jongin were deep in thought and after they dismissed the doctor, his mom's arms wrapped around him and he felt her shake as she began crying.

"Eomma...don't cry. Please... I-it's.....I'll be okay." Jongin didn't trust his voice.

"Jongin-ah...how will you not dance? I want you to be happy. How can you-" the rest of her words were incomprehensible between the sharp sobs. Gently he rocked her back and forth and a few silent tears rolled down his cheeks but he wiped them away with the back of his hand and urged himself to stay strong.

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KAI diagnosed with severe back problem. Will his career be put at risk?

It was a popular story in just a couple of hours of its publication. Although his actual diagnosis was never stated publicly, Jongin's fans had all sorts of reactions. The fan cafe was bustling and get well forums were all over. No fan wants to hear their idol has an injury, let alone one that may cause the loss of his or her career and every morning Jongin awoke to another large stack of letters on his small coffee table.

On this particular day, a few days after his hospital visit, he sat down, bowl of rice in hand, to read the new mail. Jongin hummed as he ate and went through the process of sorting it all. That's when a certain card caught his eye. It looked different from the rest, but very similar to one he had seen in the past. He picked up the pastel pink envelope and that's when it hit him.

There, again, was the most beautiful hand-written English letters he had ever seen. The characters were connected in such a beautiful way, like calligraphy. It would have been impossible for him to read if it weren't his own name, but he really did admire it, knowing he could never write like that.

After a minute Jongin curiously opened the letter, recalling a little bit of what the last letter from this particular fan had read. Yet again, the message was written messily, but he felt just by looking at it, that it was a bit of an improvement from the last letter.

"Please get well soon! In fact, I know you'll be just fine. But you must rest as much as you can and don't dance until you're 100% better. You got that? After all, Jongin-ah is the one who's stayed strong and always performed the best! ^^ Your dancing is an inspiration to everyone, trust me!
사랑해 - your biggest fan"

His jaw clenched, his stomach turned uncomfortably and he ripped the note to shreds before throwing the remains in the waste bin a few feet away from him.

The thing was, Jongin hated false hope. Especially when others tried to give him hope about something he knew was helpless. Most irritating of all was people who told him they knew he'd be fine. Like a few teenage girls actually knew the severity of his problems. They sure as hell weren't doctors. What qualified them to give a ty pep talk?

Jongin groaned as he read halfway through another piece of fanmail. He just couldn't take it. Nope. Jongin would not read through an hour of mail that was like this. The young boy opted to sleep instead, and he dreamed of performing his new song, on legs that weren't about to betray him.

A few hours later, he awoke feeling quite hungry. It didn't take him long to listen to his belly and cook some ramen for himself in the small kitchen dorm.
He was sitting down and pouring ramen into a bowl when a voice came from behind him.

"You start therapy in an hour, Jongin-goon."

His manager startled him and he cursed as he burned a finger with hot water from the pot. They exchanged a fee words and Jongin ate his multiple servings of ramen in peace.

While Jongin knew his diagnosis meant he would still be able to walk for some time, it was always the best to make sure his leg muscles were as strong as they could be. It was meant to lengthen the amount of time his legs might render unusable he supposed, and he certainly wasn't against that.

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"Yes, thank you, sir. I'll see you soon." Jongin bowed ninety degrees to his new physical therapist and nodded at his manager.

Slowly and carefully he stood. Now Jongin's manager was always by his side, in case his legs got wobbly and he had to help him stand up properly, but still Jongin refused a wheelchair. He claimed he didn't want to go through explaining things to reporters like he had done previously at the hospital, but it was simply because Jongin was just in denial.

Upon exiting the building, a medium-sized crowd of fans had gathered to see him being cautious and giving him space but still trying to hand him gifts and letters which he took with a gentle, polite "Thank you." and a nod of his head. His hand reached for a letter to his right but he paused when he noted the font on the small, cream-white envelope.
The handwriting...he had definitely seen it before, more than once.

It was identical to the note he had read that morning.

Freezing in place, Jongin looked up the arm that held the note and was shocked to see a young man. "Did you write this?" he spoke with a slightly menacing tone and made direct eye contact.

The other seemed unaffected by his coldness and gave a curt nod.

"...Do you think this is a ing joke?" Jongin took a step towards the shorter man, hovering threateningly over him.
Widened eyes just stared at him in confusion and perhaps a hint of hurt. The younger looking boy opened his mouth as if to speak, but was a bit afraid and made no move.

The fans surrounding them all grew quiet and his manager tugged at his arm, trying desperately to pull him along.

"Huh? Answer me!!" his voice was raised and laced with rage.

The young man jumped at the volume in which he was being spoken to but still gave no response.

"Jongin-ah, let's go." the older man urged him forward, pulling him towards the car and Jongin let him, but his eyes remained on the boy in the crowd who was looking sadly at the ground.

Kyungsoo, as the young man was called, was more than a little confused by Jongin's actions. He had never said anything bad about Jongin and this was his first time even being so close to him. It's not like his letters were of deep, one-sided love. It was simply admiration. There was a shove at his shoulder and he turned to see an annoyed looking fangirl.

"Yah, weirdo, what did you say to him?" a few other girls turned to look at them and Kyungsoo immediately knew this was a situation he did not want to get into. Kyungsoo made the smart decision of bowing with an apologetic look on his face before turning and walking quickly away. Though he was 100% sure he had not written a single bad word about him, Kyungsoo knew first hand how unforgiving fangirls can be when you hate on their "beloved oppa".

Jongin watched the boy walk away from inside the car, and he shook his head in disgust.

"What was that all about, Jongin?"

"Nothing. Just some kid who now knows better than to mess with me." he replied a bit angrily as he looked at the man next to him.

"You need to watch what you say in public like that, Jongin. You're still an idol." his manager cautioned.

"Yeah, yeah. Okay hyung-nim." Jongin averted his gaze, rolled his eyes and stared out the window the rest of the ride back to the dorm.

A/N: Whoo! Long chapter is long! Anyways, yay! You finally see Kyungsoo~. ^-^ I think this chapter really gets the ball moving! Anyways, tell me what you think if you'd like, I'd love you hear what you think! :3

I'm really sorry I didn't update earlier this week, but as some of you know, there was school that suffered a very hard loss this past week... I happen to live in the same state, and it was pretty rough at school last week since we all were trying our best to help the families.
I'm on Christmas break now though! I hope to update twice more before I go back on New Years. <3 Thank you for reading and subscribing, I hope you enjoy the holidays!