Everyday I look out my window and see the same thing repeated day in day out. Seoul is a busy city, it always has been since I can remember. Everyone is in such a rush; everyone apart from me. I'm so sick of this life I live. People think I've got everything, looks, happiness, love. I've got none of that. I've been stuck in this spiral of depression since I can remember. Now to make it worse, I'm here and you're all the way in Japan with work- I feel even more empty with you gone.

I know you're busy filming in Japan right now and you're hosting a lot of variety shows, I'm proud of you but I miss you a lot too. I know you probably think I push you away a lot too. I don't mean too; it's just my way of covering up my true feelings for you. I sigh and walk back over to my bed and lay down. I'm not motivated to do anything right now. My phone rests beside me, I suppose I'm thinking about texting you but I don't know what to write. In-between the frustration my phone starts flashing. A text? From Seungri... Okay, that's odd.

Received at 22:03PM Sender: Panda ^o^

“Hyung, How're you? ^^”

__

I looked at it more than once just to check I wasn't hallucinating or something. It's like he knew I was thinking about him. I smiled though, just getting a text improved my mood immediately.

__

“Ah, Panda. I was just about to text you... I'm good thanks. I've only just got back home. I've been working hard on the final preparations on the album... How are you? Having fun in Japan? ^^”

___

Okay, sent. That was a good enough text right? I was trying to be nice. After all, I did miss him. I even miss our bickering. My phone soon started flashing again, he texted quicker than anticipated.

____

Received at 22:07PM Sender: Panda ^o^

“You were going to text me? Kekeke~ What about? Ah Hyung, Don't over work yourself... I know what you're like... T.T

I'm okay, Tired from all the filming and TV shows though. Japan is fine, I just feel kinda lonely”

___

I smiled again as he replied, his concern was sweet. I felt bad that he felt lonely... but I did too.

___

“I miss you, that's why. Silly Panda! ^o^ I'll be careful, don't worry~ Ah, but you enjoy it right? You won't be lonely forever Panda, You'll be back in no time~”

___

I sat up in my bed now and put some music on, I didn't feel so depressed anymore. Again, I waited for a text from Maknae.

____

Received at 22:12PM Sender: Panda ^o^

“Hyung misses me? Aww ♡＾▽＾♡~ I miss you too, Ji. I think I miss you the most~ Good! I do enjoy it, it's a new thing for me, hosting TV shows. It's giving me more confidence, hopefully I'll mature too~ I hope so... T.T”

_____

My heart fluttered as I read it. Ji... He used my name. He never does that unless he's serious. God, I was smiling so much~

____

“I'm glad Ri misses me. ｡･ω･｡ The most? Aish, how can that be? Kekeke~

Panda is already very mature when he needs to be!~ Chin up ^^”

____

Sent, What am I even doing...? we never talk like this... Ah, it's making my head hurt. Why can't I stop smiling?

____

Received at 22:16 Sender: Panda ^o^

“Yup, the most. Even though you're always bullying me I know you love me the most! ^^;

I guess I miss Hyung's teasing and our fighting.

Kekeke, never thought I would.

I miss our talks too... Panda can be sometimes... not all the time.

Ah, I'm happier now hyung is taking to me! ~~”

_____

I wonder why he missed my teasing. I always thought that I could be really be mean, even when I don't mean to be.

____

“Ri, I don't make you sad when I bully you do I? I don't mean to be that way...

Hyung cares really! ^^ Kekeke~

Ji does love Panda the most~ I miss our talks too... (Ｔ▽Ｔ)
I'm happy too, RiRi. ~”

____

I guess I feel bad... It's so easy to be more honest through text... Hmm, it's taking him a while to reply...

____

Received at 22:25 Sender: Panda ^o^

“You've never asked me that before, what's happened? Are you okay?

You're not acting yourself for once... You've worried me.

Honestly, Sometimes it does make me sad.. T.T I know Ji cares, babo. ^^
I love Hyung the most too~ ♡”

___

Ah, he can tell that I'm acting strange... what do I do? Ayo.... Think, think.

___

“Ah, don't be silly! Hyung is fineeee~ ♡ Me babo? Nope, you babo~”

____

I think I pulled that off well~~ I hugged my plush and smiled happily wishing that Ri was here. This might be the only way I can get through this month without him~

____

Received at 22:34 Sender: Panda ^o^

“Hmm~ fine I'll believe you this once. ^^;

Fine, we're both Babo okay?

Panda needs some sleep soon... I want to carry on talking to you though. T.T”

____

I could feel my heart pounding slightly at that. Ah, he was right though. Even I needed to sleep soon. After all I had an early day tomorrow too.

____

“Okay, we're both babo ^^;

Yeah, you should sleep RiRi, it's getting late~

I want to talk too but... we both need sleep. T.T”

_____

I was reluctant to send that... I really did want to carry on talking to him..

_____

Received at 22:42 Sender: Panda ^o^

“Ah, Hyung... You're right... T.T

I'll text you tomorrow again~ I've enjoy this, it's cheered me up!

Sweetdreams Ji~”

____

I grinned so much after that text knowing he wanted to talk to me again~

____

“Maknae, I can't wait for your text tomorrow~ ^^

Thanks, Have sweetdreams too Panda.

Nighttttt~~”

_____

Received at 22:44 Sender: Panda ^o^

“Nighty night~~ ^^”

____

That night I fell asleep with a smile on my face, I had a feeling that things were going to be good. It's just a month. If this went well... Maybe I could tell him how I feel one day...

~