Days in November, 2012

Kim Jonghyun

“It’s a waste, waiting here”, I commented as I approached Jae Mi by the bus-stop. She looked up from her iPhone and gave me a confused look.

“I always wait here so why would it be a waste today?” She asked me.

I smiled and offered her my hand. She grabbed it, still confused. I dragged her along towards the car I had waiting for me today.

It took an eternity to get my dad convinced but I promised to drive safe. At last, he finally let me borrow his car. It was his favorite car, he had several. The roof on it was non-existent and it was burning red.

Jae Mi looked over her shoulder and gasped when she saw the bus rolling in. “Jonghyun! We need to catch the bus!” She tried to make me run in the direction of the bus but I held her close.

She kept turning her head and as the bus drove away and tugged harder in my arm. “Come on, hurry!”

The bus passed the corner and disappeared out of the parking lot. She turned to me with a blaming look on her face. “Great. Now we have to wait an hour for the next one”, she bitterly blamed me.

I just chuckled and kept dragging her across the lot. “I don’t understand… Why are you up to? You’re acting weird and missing our bus on purpose?” She asked me with big curious eyes.

“You need to stop freaking out”, I said with a big smile on my face. “I’m just taking you somewhere today.”

Jae Mi stopped walking and looked at me. “Me?” She stupidly asked.

I laughed. “No, that girl”, I said and pointed at Jessica walking chatting with her friends.

Jae Mi turned her head and gaped at Jessica. “Her?” She asked with obviously jealousy in her voice. It seemed that every girl in this school was jealous of Jessica.

I could see their point. Jessica was beautiful. Her long dyed hair always fell perfectly in big natural curls. Her perfect face was always covered with a cool attitude but she was kind to everyone. She was a beauty.

But despite of all that, I still preferred the girl right next to me; the girl with the remaining messy hair, the slightly uneven teeth and the heartwarming laugh. She was perfect to me.

I turned her head and pecked her forehead. “How stupid are you? Of course I’m taking you. We’re dating now, right? So that’s what we should be doing.”

Jae Mi just stared at me in awe for a couple of seconds before a big smile fell on her face. “W-were dating?”

“Aren’t we?” I smirked. “Or did I miss understand something?”

Jae Mi furiously shook her head. “No no! It’s just… I’ve never really dated a guy before. It feels a bit weird.”

I simply smiled, satisfied with her answer. I was her first and I was going to be her last. That, I was determined.

I stopped by our car and opened the door for Jae Mi. She pointed at the car. “Is this really yours?” She asked me, with mouth wide open.

“Nah… It’s my dad’s”, I honestly answered and made her take place in the front seat. She looked like she was afraid of touching anything.

“Relax”, I chuckled as I drove out the parking lot.

As soon as we were gone from the school, I pressed the speeder harder and the car took speed. Jae Mi let out a shriek next to me and tried to control her hair.

I pulled out my mother’s old scarf and placed it in the hands of Jae Mi. “You should wear it; it’ll help your hair stay where it should.”

Jae Mi nodded and studied the scarf in her hands. “It’s pretty”, she said as she twirled it around her head. Immediately, she looked like a beauty from the sixties.

Lee Jae Mi

As Jonghyun made the car drive even faster, I turned to him. “Why are you driving so fast?” I nervously asked.

The bald trees passed by us faster than ever before. The clouds in the heaven struggled to keep up and if shadows ever haunted us, they’d be gone by now.

“Close your eyes and you’ll know why”, Jonghyun said, still not slowing down.

I nervously looked around and considered if this was safe. Then again, if we were going to die now might as well do it with closed eyes.

I let my eyes close. A rush went through my body. Everything seemed to move faster now. The air pushed past me and washed out my worries.

I was flying. Far up in heaven where no one could catch me. No one could pull me down from my sky of adrenaline. The air blew my wings and only made me faster.

For a moment, all thoughts disappeared from my brain. It was only me and the wind, cleaning my soul.

As a sudden music started to blast, I opened my eyes. Jonghyun sent me a big grin. I didn’t care anymore and let my tone-deaf voice follow the radio’s beat.

A wide smile covered his face but he didn’t sing. I looked at him and tried to make him follow but he shook his head.

Jonghyun turned the TVXQ song louder as Changmin’s scream came. Jonghyun joined his scream. He let go of the rat with one hand and let his arm rise in the air. He really looked like a superstar in that moment.

I laughed. Loudly. Jonghyun’s scream couldn’t even compare to Changmin’s. It wasn’t even close to singing but it was Jonghyun. Jonghyun, who finally let go for a second.

He looked at me and warmly smiled. His hand found mine and intertwined our fingers. I stopped singing and drowned in his eyes for a moment.

The world flew past us but I didn’t even heed the life outside of the red car. The car turned right and the wind kidnapped the scarf around my head.

The purple piece of fabric disappeared down the road. Soon, it was out of sight. I looked at Jonghyun, worried for his mother’s scarf but he just shook his shoulders.

I let my unrestrained hair flutter with the wind. Jonghyun’s hand ruffled my hair while his eyes rested on me. And in the moment I realized. I was happy. Like, completely happy inside out. No shade of darkness could be found in my body.

Our laughter slowly died out as Jonghyun found a place to park the car. Jonghyun took of his shoes and so did I.

“Wow”, I mumbled as I looked around on the deserted beach.

It was pure beauty. The sky was high blue and only a few white, cotton clouds decked the heaven. The turquoise ocean calmly flushed up on the beach in a regular rhythm, pushing the small rocks slightly by every flush.

The fine grains of sand pecked my feet as I walked with Jonghyun towards the water. Everything seemed safe and sound here. Only the birds in the sky let out a sweet song.

“I used to come here often to think”, Jonghyun told me as we stopped walking. The ice cold water covered my toes and I let out a small gasp.

“Then”, I said, looking at Jonghyun’s slightly shocked expression when the water flushed over him too. “What did you think about?”

Jonghyun became quiet and his face turned trouble. He tried to hide it by shrugging his shoulders. “Stuff”, he muttered.

I intertwined our fingers and waited for a real answer. He let out a sigh and he softened. “When I was 14 my mum left us for another man. Actually he was my teacher.”

My eyes widened but Jonghyun remained calm. “Naturally, my dad blamed me. If it hadn’t been for me, she wouldn’t even have met him. My dad pushed me out in the cold and embraced my brother, Jinki, in the warmth. Jinki started to glare at me with these cold eyes. By time, I started to blame myself too. This was my place to disappear from time and place.”

I searched Jonghyun for a hint of his feelings but he was like a mirror of the empty water. “I’m really sorry, Jonghyun.”

Jonghyun shook his head. “Everything happens for reason, right?”

I nodded my head. “I guess it does”, I spoke; my thoughts wandering back to cancer. If it hadn’t been for my silly life goal to make the days pass, I would still consider Jonghyun as a stuck-up bad boy.

“I just can’t find the reason”, Jonghyun finally admitted. He turned around and faced me. “Some days I used to just want to disappear. I squeezed my eyes so tight together, hoping that they lights would finally die.”

Jonghyun let a gentle finger under my chin and tilted my head up. “Those days aren’t here anymore, Jae Mi, and I think you might be the reason for that.”

His big muscular arms pulled me close to his chest. The musky scent of man filled my nostrils and I rested my head on his chest.

Jonghyun planted small kisses on my skin, following my neckline. I closed my eyes and tangled my fingers in his soft hair.

His soft lips landed on mine, making my heart flutter. His warm hands cupped my face and in his embrace I had never felt safer.

His lips parted from mine. The glossy deep-brown eyes of his looked into mine. “I love you”, his soft voice told me.

My hands removed his hands from my neck and intertwined our fingers. They fit each other perfectly. “I love you too.”

The attention seeking November water demanded us back to earth. I looked down at our feet under the water, facing each other.

“You have nice feet”, I blurted.

We both got silent as we stared at each other. Jonghyun tried to remain serious but air filled his cheeks and soon laughter exploded from his mouth.

“Yah”, he said and pushed me away. “Is that the only nice thing about me?”

I laughed and goofily hit his chest. “Don’t you know, you can’t push a woman? It’s considered really rude.”

I used my leg to kick the water. It splashed up his leg and made his rolled up pants wet. He looked up at me with a changeling look on his face.

“Oh no, you didn’t”, he smirked.

“Oh yes I did”, I answered. Jonghyun reached out to catch me as I ran away from him in the water. The water recklessly splashed around me as Jonghyun chased my down the edge of the ocean.

I let out a high scream as Jonghyun’s strong arms caught me from behind and spun me around in the air. “Game over”, he smirked.

Then, without mercy, he dipped my body in the freezing water. Just the tip of my hair but it was enough to send shivers through my entire body.

Jonghyun tried to place me on my legs again, thinking he had won our fight, but I caught his legs and made him stumble. In the fall, he caught my arm and pulled me with him.

We both landed in the water with a giant splash. My body did a shook as the water embraced our bodies. We were both covered in water; even our hair was wet now.

Jonghyun’s heartwarming laugh filled the silence. We laughed. It was impossible to stop once we started. I could barely breathe as the grasps of laughter escaped me. Jonghyun was quiet due to the lack of air but he was laughing hardly.

Our eyes locked and our laughter faded. A smile remained on Jonghyun’s lips. He brushed a lock of wet hair away from my cold face. His eyes fell on my blue lips.

“Let’s get up from here”, he said as he got up from the water. He reached out a hand and I grabbed it. Together, we walked back on the beach.

Jonghyun walked to the car and found a white towel in the back of the car and wrapped it around his body. My eyes furrowed as I searched for another towel. “Did you only bring one?”

Jonghyun nodded. “Yes.” He walked closer to me. “So I could do this.” He wrapped the towel around both of us, our bodies heating up each other.

I snuggled closer to Jonghyun, burying my head in his chest. His strong embrace softly rocked our bodies together.

“We should get home”, he whispered in my ear.

We both stared at each other. The thought of returning to reality was almost unbearable. Jonghyun let out a small chuckle. “What do you feel about ditching the real world and just stay here for a bit?”

I smiled as I nodded. “I’d love to”, I said as my lips hit his.

November 20^th, 2012

My legs dangled over the edge of the bed as I looked at the small picture of Jonghyun and me. It was taken the other day when we yet again waited on the bus together.

I had a goofy smile plastered across my face, revealing how in love I was, while Jonghyun was kissing my cheek. His arm, holding the camera, covered a big part of the picture but it didn’t matter. You could still see our happy faces.

My phone vibrated next to me on the bed. “Hello?” I asked, holding the phone between my shoulder and head.

“It’s Jonghyun”, a lovely voice said on the other line. A wide smile spread upon my face and I turned my body in the bed.

“Well, hello sir”, I grinned. Jonghyun chuckled. “Why did you call?” I asked him.

“Eh”, he awkwardly laughed. “Would it be weird if I told you I just wanted to hear your voice?”

I laughed. “Very cliché but highly satisfying”, I told him.

“Then, that’s my answer”, he decided. I smiled while I listened to his heavy breathing in the phone.

“Hey”, he suddenly blurted. “Why aren’t you asleep? It’s a school night and it’s over midnight.”

“But mum”, I whined. “Someone keeps interrupting my thoughts.”

“Honey”, Jonghyun said with a high-pitched lady voice. Very similar to his Queen of England voice really. “Didn’t I tell you to stay away from those boys? They are nothing but trouble.”

“Yeah but mum, I really think I love this one.”

Suddenly Jonghyun’s voice turned deeper again and less goofy. “Yah. That’s not a think thing. You should know stuff like that.”

I laughed. “Then I’m sure I love him.”

I could almost hear Jonghyun smile, satisfied. “That’s much better.”

Jonghyun let out a small sigh. “Now, you should really sleep. I don’t want to look at heavy eye bangs all day tomorrow.”

“But I can’t sleep.”

Jonghyun chuckled. “Wow, such a kid, really. Then how can I help the madam?”

I bit my lip, hesitating with the answer. I might have found someone to fill my days, that now was unlimited, but I couldn’t forget the real reason for all of this.

“Can you sing me to sleep?” I asked with a tiny voice. All these days, the closest Jonghyun had been to singing was that day he screamed Changmin’s note in the car.

Jonghyun became quiet on the line. “Please?” I asked.

Jonghyun sighed. “I’m sorry, Jae Mi, I have to go. Something came up.”

Then he hung up.

Sorry for messing up...