Chapter 8

Another month went by Jinki and Taemin hung out all the time, sometimes they’d go to the movies or dancing, or to the mall. Taemin enrolled in a dance class. Today they just spent the evening bowling and going out to eat at a fast food restaurant.

Jinki was getting ready for bed, His head filled with thoughts of Taemin.

Jinki was falling in love with Taemin, he was a warm person. He didn’t have mood swings anymore, well not as often. He had a very lively personality and very fun to be around. Back when Taemin first told him he wasn’t ready for a boyfriend he viewed him as just a person that needed a friend, a cute friend, but still just a friend.  But now things were changing. He wanted to be more than friends with him now. But didn’t know how to ask him, afraid it would upset Taemin. Should he forget about his feelings or take a chance? But what if he loses Taemin, what if Taemin becomes introverted again and beats himself up mentality about it all?  Jinki had to take time to think about what to do. He fell asleep pondering what to do.

Maybe he needed a sign too that everything will be ok….

Back at Taemin’s apartment, Taemin was lying in bed drifting off to sleep. Then his brain floated around images of Jinki. Jinki dancing, Jinki talking about drawing, Jinki smiling, and being silly. Taemin’s stomach started to get fuzzy. “What the?” He mumbled as he slipped into sleep. 

He could barely feel something on his arm as he fell asleep. He didn’t know he had fallen asleep but when he woke up he woke up in a beautiful green meadow. He was laying there on Kibum’s lap Kibum had his arm around him resting on his arm. “Hello Taemin, I’ve missed you.”

“Kibum?” He wiped his sleepy eyes. “Kibum!”

Kibum bent forward and kissed Taemin’s forehead. “So how is my Tae kitty doing hmm?”

“I’m great thank you for helping me feel better, I went back to dance school. And Jinki and I do lots of fun things together.” His stomach had the odd feeling again. He placed his hand on his belly. Kibum placed his hand atop Taemin’s.

Taemin felt his cheeks flush.

“Keep talking Taemin, I’m listening. Tell me all about everything.”

“I feel funny.”

His adorable smile that Taemin loved appeared. “Really? Why?” Kibum chuckled knowing the answer.

“Its strange, I feel… I feel I don’t know, weird sometimes. My belly flips around.” He pouted cutely, and scrunched up his nose, in confusion. He looked like a little lost kitty.

“Well, then its time, my little kitten”

“Time for what?” He cocked his head and rasied his brow.

“For you to finish the last of your list.”

“My list?  You know I made a list?” His brows lifted in surprise, his eyes a tad bigger than usual.

“Of course silly.  But Taemin why did you think you were done? You forgot what I told you in the last dream then.”

“You said be happy. I am.” He lifted up his shoulders bewildered he still had more to go.

“I told you something else too the last time we met. There is one more thing, but you’ll remember it after you see the other sign again then you will be healed. I think you were probably too emotional last time to remember what I told you and to see the other sign, and you are still in denial.  Once you figure out the last thing and see what is in front of you, then I’ll be happy that you are completely happy. Then I can rest happily.” He smiled to reassure him it will be ok.

Taemin groaned and his shoulders dropped in defeat “Damn, I thought I was getting better.” He pouted and rolled his eyes at the frustration over it all.

Kibum rubbed the side of Taemin’s arm again. “You are getting better, you are almost there. You almost have the answer.” He played with Taemin’s hair, as Taemin lay in his lap. Trying to keep him calm.

“Can you just tell me what to do?” A tear rolled down his cheek. Taemin sat up and looked Kibum in the eyes.

“Help from above can never directly tell you. We can only help guide you. The rest is up to you.” 

“Next time when you visit me can’t you give me happy news?” He half smiled. “This is so hard.”

“ If help from above give you the answers then you do not learn what you are supposed to learn. I told you it would be hard but it will work out if you keep the faith. You made the choice to want to get better on you own, now you just have to go through with it til the end. Don't give up.  Tae honey, think about it like this.  I helped you feel comfortable enough so you could feel happy. You actually got happy by yourself. You could have gone into a situation and given up or not came out happy, but you took that step, you didn't give up and you had faith and hope and a friend, Jinki, on earth to help you. Then YOU chose to be happy.  I didn’t make you. That is happy news and great progress.”  Kibum hugged Taemin and rubbed his back.

Taemin thought about that for a moment, he started to feel a bit better about it. He remembered going to the club with Jinki, he remembered, HE choose to dance, no one made him do it. He knew Kibum was right. He was guided but he made the choice to be brave and actually do it. “I have missed your hugs so much. It’s been so long since I’ve had a hug.”

They ended the hug, Taemin sighed. “Kibum?”

“Yes.”

“So why could you see angels?”

“Next time you see me I will explain everything.” 

“Does that mean I only see you one more time?” His eyes started puddling and his voiced cracked.

Kibum cupped the side of his face. “Look at me Taemin. Aw, look at those pretty eyes.  Don’t cry please…” he thumbed over the tear that fell from Taemin as he blinked. “I will see you 2 more times.  But remember you have me smiling down on you; you have a guardian angel that lets me hang around.” He smiled. “And you have a new friend looking out for you.”

“Jinki?”

“Hmm.” He hummed yes. “Now go see that last sign, I sent to you, your guardian angel has tried to make you see it, but you have to be strong and see it. Please keep strong for me Taemin when “it” happens.”

“When what happens?”

“Remember the answer, Taemin. Think back to our last dream. Oh and one more thing before I have to go. In a field of blue, bunnies dance across the sky.” He winked.

“I love you.”

“I know, I love you too.” Kibum kissed his cheek.

Meanwhile  Jinki was dreaming too. He was, dreaming of his childhood.

He saw himself with his old friend Kibum, they were having a sleepover at Jinki's house. “Hey Jinki, can you draw me your bunny face on my notebook?”

“I’ve told you, It does not look like me, Kibum.” He moaned.

Kibum stomped his little foot. “But Jinki!!! It will make me happy, and I will feel better too. Please please.” Kibum looked like he was going to cry.

“Ok ok give it here.”

Kibum handed over his notebook. He smiled and clapped rapidly. “Thank you” he grinned from ear to ear. “You know you should draw more often. I bet you can make lots of people smile and be happy. Your drawings are so cute and so cool.”He scooted closer to watch him draw.

…… his dream skipped around. It landed on the day Kibum was moving to Seoul.

“Will you miss me?” Kibum asked

“Of course. Will you come and visit?”

“I hope I can.”

“Here I want you to have this.” Jinki handed him his lucky key.  “Take this with you, it’s good luck.”

“But it’s your lucky key.”

“Well you’ll need it more than me, you’re moving and there will be so many new kids. I want you to take this key and hopefully it will bring you luck and you’ll find a friend to keep you busy since I won’t be there to draw cartoons for you.”

…… his dream skipped again to when Kibum was visiting him when he was 15.

Jinki was sitting in his back yard doing homework when he heard a familiar friendly voice.

“Jinki!!!” He said running up to him.

“Oh my god Kibum!” He hugged him. “I’ve missed you! How are things in Seoul?”

“It is awesome!”

Kibum kept going on and on about this friend he had. But Jinki couldn’t hear what the Kibum in his dream said his name was. That part was blurry. The dream continued.  Kibum had told him about how pretty the man was and how they just started dating, told him about the club they snuck into. Told him he had to go there one day if he ever moved to Seoul.  “If the mood strikes you just have to go. That place has the best music.”   Kibum had talked about his friend non-stop. Jinki had felt like if he ever met this guy he’d know just by how Kibum had talked and described him. “You must be in love hard core man.”Jinki had said.

“Well, of course (he said the name again but it was still blurry) is the best; you’d like him if you ever met him.”

…. The dream skipped to the last day of his visit…

 They were walking down the street in the shopping district. They came upon a flower shop.

Kibum walked over and smelled the box of flowers that were outside the shops window. Kibum leaned forward and took a sniff “Ahhh they smell so good. The pink roses are my favorite. Smell them” he picked one out of the box for Jinki to smell.

Jinki smelled them. “mmm, Yes they smell nice.”  Jinki bent over to smell the next set of flowers.

“Jinki, one day you’ll see a kitten that has lips like a flower, it’s ok to kiss the petals, and when you kiss it, you should know, the petals taste like strawberries.”

“What?” Jinki laughed.

“I’m serious, that is the real reason I don’t eat strawberries any more. Not even a real strawberry will ever compare to the beauty of the petals or their taste.”

“What the hell does that mean?” He laughed really hard holding his side.

“Just remember it ok.” Kibum said sternly pointing his finger in Jinki’s face.

“How will I be able to forget such a weird , random comment like that?”

Jinki woke up from his dream.  “I miss him, wonder what ever happened to him.”  He started laughing, “What the hell was he talking about? Kissing a kitten with lips like rose petals?” 

Jinki got ready for work; he stepped in the shower and thought about his dream again, for some reason it kept replaying itself. And he kept thinking about Kibum.

Taemin also was getting ready for work; he had just gotten out of the shower and started eating breakfast. He tired thinking calmly about his dream. He put his spoon down and found the list he had made 2 months ago. “hmm so what is going to happen? The answer??? Is not happiness. Then what is it? Well it’s half of it…What do I need to feel better?”  He reads his list, “ #3 Remember EVERY conversation with Kibum EVER!” He read that line 6 times. “I’ll have to do this later; I have to go.  I’m going to be late for work if I deal with this now I’ll get to upset to do anything.” 

He finished his cereal and put his bowl in the sink, he was brushing his teeth and he had an idea. He decided he’d deal with this with a friend. That is what friends are for. He hadn’t talked about Kibum since they went to the club. He remembered how good he felt to talk about it.  "I owe it to Jinki to tell him more about me and what happened. Maybe that is what Kibum wants me to do.”  A tear fell into the sink. He rinsed his mouth out and washed his face. “I can’t do it today. I’ll wait a bit.” He signed “sorry Kibum, I can’t do this.” Taemin changed his mind yet again, too afraid.

Jinki arrived at work and was still thinking of him, he tried calling Kibum’s parents house so he could get Kibum’s phone number. After the dream he really missed his old friend. He moved to Seoul a few months ago and planned to visit him when he got here after he settled in but that was around the time he met Taemin....He called on his lunch break. But they never answered, “Ok maybe this is not their number, maybe they moved, or changed their number...hmm. How can I find out where Kibum lives, it has been years since we talked.”

Author's note: .........Ok everyone get ready for tears… (KEY’s POV is the next chapter)…get the tissues ready.