The angry sound of clattering pots and pans met Taemin’s ears as he stumbled into the room, Jonghyun close behind him. 

The sound of the door closing behind them was loud even over the noise Key was making and it caused the agitated cook to call out. “If you don’t have Taemin with you Jonghyun you’re not eating until you bring him back here so I can strangle him!” 

“I’m here hyung.” Taemin called back, voice nervous. 

The sound of a loud bang of something being dropped caused Taemin to jump. Jonghyun moved out of the way as Key came flying into the room. 

Taemin quickly found himself swept up into a hug and as quickly as he was in it, he was released and found himself the receiving end of a swift smack in the chest. “You’re okay.” Key’s voice was shaky and before he could get swept up in his own emotions, he rushed back to the kitchen. 

Taemin was confused, this was some of the oddest of Key’s behaviour and he didn’t know how to deal with it. 

“It means he’s mad at you but that he’s happier your okay. No lectures for you. Today.” Jonghyun amended at the end, putting his feet on the coffee table and digging out his phone. “Minho at the gym?” He shouted to Key who gave a grunt in reply. 

Fingers flying on the screen, Jonghyun let Minho know they had returned and dinner was almost ready. “When Minho can’t deal with his emotions right away, he generally heads to the gym to work them out.”

“Or when he’s so angry and scared that all he wants to do is set fire to the object of his anger.” Key huffed from the kitchen. “I told him to get the out of here after he broke three plates, one of his game controllers and his phone screen. I think he also snapped the laces on one of his shoes." 

Taemin felt nauseous. Minho wasn’t a violent person and to hear that he had done all of that, because of Taemin, made him feel sick. 

“I’m…” He began but was stopped when Jonghyun jumped up and covered his mouth with a hand. 

“Don’t say you’re sorry.” Jonghyun hissed in his ear. “There is no point to be sorry if you’re only sorry your actions hurt your friends. You’d do it again and we all know it.” 

Taemin nodded and his lips after Jonghyun removed his hand. 

“Come sit.” Key called, his voice slightly less angry. “You better come and eat before this gets cold or I’ll be really angry.” 

Taemin and Jonghyun went. The kitchen table was covered with rice and various side dishes. Key had obviously been busy in the hour since Jonghyun text that he found Taemin. “Everything looks good babe.” Jonghyun said, dropping a kiss to Key’s cheek as he passed. 

“Its passable.” Key grumped, taking his seat and beginning to dish out food. “Not nearly my best, but what can I say,” He gave Taemin a dark look that made the youngest duck his head in shame. “I was distracted.” He passed the first filled bowl over to Taemin, face softening when he took it in two hands with a cowed look. 

“I deserve your anger.” Taemin mumbled pitifully. “I put myself and Jinki in danger because I didn’t think before I went.”

“No you didn’t.” Minho’s deep, angry voice came from behind Taemin, causing him to jump and nearly spill his bowl of rice and meat. 

“You didn’t think and you didn’t care.” Minho continued, not moving any further into the kitchen. 

Taemin couldn’t turn around. He couldn’t bear to see the look on Minho’s face. Especially because it now occurred to him that his relationship was probably over before it had time to really began. There was no way that Minho would want to be with someone who lied and hurt him. 

Taemin felt any trace of hunger leave him and he refused to close his eyes in case the tears he could fell build fell. He hadn't thought about his relationship when he made his earlier decision, having never had to really consider anyone but himself before.

“Minho, sit.” Jonghyun said as he noticed Taemin’s face. It was obvious that he was hurting and the scared, defeated boy that had arrived from America weeks ago looked like he was returning. He watched as Taemin seemed to shrink in on himself as Minho huffingly moved from the door to take a seat between Taemin and Key. Jonghyun worried that his worst thoughts about his two younger friends were about to come true. 

He knew that Minho often made rash decisions when angry and usually he regretted things when he was calmer, but that didn't mean he couldn't jepordize his relationship in ways that would make it unfixable in the mean time. Jonghyun was going to have to step up and really fill Jinki's shoes as the oldest if he was going to make sure no lasting damage was done tonight. 

He took the bowl Key handed him and set it with a soft thud on the table. He looked around at his friends in the tense silence that filtered in. Key’s face was blank, no emotions visible except for the slightest tightening of his jaw, Taemin was downcast, looking like the beaten teen he had been when he arrived, and Minho was straight anger, his eyes glistened with it and that alone told Jonghyun that the rage Minho was feeling was fuelled by terror. 

The athlete may be angry, but it was an anger born of love and caring. Jonghyun just had to make sure that that rage didn’t scare Taemin badly enough to destroy the love. He knew that Minho would cool off and regret everything, but regret wouldn’t fix something broken.

Arms crossed, Minho leaned back in his chair, refusing to touch his bowl. 

Jonghyun sighed and started to eat. His first bite was slow and he waited for Key to follow suit before taking his second. They ate slowly, taking quick glances at each other and at their silent friends. 

“So you’re not even going to apologize.” Minho’s voice broke the silence. 

“I told him not to.” Jonghyun cut in before Taemin could answer. “He’s not sorry and he shouldn’t be.”

That statement made Minho slam his hands on the table as he stood up. The hit made the bowls rattle and Key barely caught his glass before it fell from where it was perched too close to the edge. 

“He should be sorry!” Minho shouted, his chest heaving, “Do you have any idea how afraid I was?!” The second sentence was directed towards Taemin and it made the youngest flinch. 

“Don’t yell at him.” Key spoke with a cool tone. 

“I wasn’t yelling.” Minho glared at his slightly older friend. 

“You were, and it's not helpful.” Key continued. “Be mad, be angry but don’t yell.”

“It’s okay Key.” Taemin’s voice was tiny when he spoke. “I deserve it. I always make the wrong choices, stupid decisions. It’s my fault and I deserve it. I deserve to be punished.” The words flowed out without thought, words that Taemin had learned by heart during his stay with foster family three. All he had to do now was wait for the accompanying blow. 

Dropping from his chair to his knees, he knelt on the cold, hard floor in front of his boyfriend. “I accept whatever punishment you think is necessary for me to learn. I’ll try to learn.” His eyes watered with the effort to stay down cast and not blink. Physically he was still in the dorm but mentally he was back at every foster home he had ever been at. The dissociation was sudden but not totally unexpected.

It was how he had managed to survive for so long and even though the abuse hadn’t followed him to Seoul, it had left a lasting mark. He had started to pull back in his mind when Minho appeared in the kitchen door. It was an unconscious habit that Taemin thought he had overcome but obviously hadn't. 

He flinched when a low, sad moan sounded across from him and a whimpering cry from behind him. He started to curl in on himself, thought better of it and straightened his back, when an adult male form dropped to the floor in front of him and long arms reached towards him. He could no longer focus on what was happening, drifting in and out of his subconscious without control. It had been weeks since he felt this happening, but he was ready to give in. 

Waiting and bracing himself for the hit, he was shocked when instead of pain he was met with a hug. Whimpering, Taemin stayed stiff, not wanting to let up his guard until he was suddenly surrounded by more arms holding him. 

Key and Jonghyun had joined the hug after they watched Minho realize what was happening. “I’ve heard of people dissociating after years of trauma, but I’ve never seen it.” Key muttered in Jonghyun’s ear sadly. 

“After all he went though, seeing Jinki tonight and then the way we’ve all treated him like a child, I’m not surprised it happen.” Jonghyun returned, regretting every word that was said between the four of them. 

“I’m sorry.” Minho was mumbling into Taemin’s hair, his back. “I was scared. I shouldn’t have yelled. You don’t deserve it, you don’t have to apologize and you don’t need to be punished.” Minho choked on the word punished. It left a nasty taste in his mouth as the understanding of what Taemin was saying clicked. So he repeated the same words over and over as he waited for Taemin to come back to himself.  

“I’m sorry I hurt you.” Taemin said, his voice croaky. “I…”

“You don’t have to explain.” Minho said, feeling Jonghyun and Key pull away. He detached himself so that he was only holding Taemin’s hands. “We shouldn’t have tried to keep you away.”

“Yes you should have.” Taemin said, shoving down any lingering feelings of his past. He didn’t like the lightheaded feeling he had, the sinking in his stomach as he wondered how long he’d been lost in the tangled web of his mind. “I shouldn’t have just left and lied to you, but I can’t say I wouldn’t do it again. It was dangerous and I’m sorry I worried you all.”

“Did you at least get what you were looking for?” Key asked, crouched next to Jonghyun. 

Nodding, Taemin rose to his feet, still managing to keep hold of Minho’s hands. “He was everything I dreamed of and more, and we only had a short time to talk. I’m not really hungry.” He changed the conversation as the smell of food filtered back into his senses. 

“We still need to eat.” Key said, moving to force Taemin into his seat. “Just a few bites of rice, please.” He then gave Minho a similar shove. 

A glare started on Minho’s face, faltered and shifted into a scrunched nose and curled lip. He hated taking orders from the bossy friend, but even he had to agree they had to eat. 

“I told Jinki of my life in America.” Taemin started, grimacing. “Showed him the pictures, my picture and his.” His voice went shaky and he took at breath and then a small bite of rice as he tried to compose himself. “I hugged my brother. I have a brother. I have family, blood family.” He changed the last statement as he looked at his friends. “I mean, you guys are my family too…” 

“But a relative related by blood is different when you haven’t had one before.” Minho filled in. “We understand.” He was slowly eating, copying Jonghyun’s earlier moves and taking a bite whenever Taemin did. He felt like a total , angry but an . Taemin was his friend and boyfriend, not his child and he needed to remember Taemin's past when angry in their future.

“It doesn’t feel real.” Taemin said, picking up a piece of meat Jonghyun deposited in his bowl. “That’s why I had to go. I had to see him for myself, talk to him for myself. It was selfish and I am sorry that I lied. I should have just told you what I was feeling and I really do understand if you’re mad at me.” He chewed on the bite of meat and swallowed hard. The feeling that the meat was stuck in his throat made him cough and take a drink of water. 

“I understand if you don’t want to be with me.” The last was directed at Minho, even though it was spoken into Taemin’s dinner. 

“I think that’s our cue to leave.” Jonghyun said, sliding away from the table. 

Key nodded, giving Minho a hard look before moving around the table to hug Taemin. His lips brushed the top of Taemin’s head in a brotherly fashion and he murmured that he still loved him before he allowed Jonghyun to steer him from the room. 

Neither Minho nor Taemin spoke another word until the sound of the dorm door closing echoed in the air. 

Minho’s chair scraped against the ground and Taemin didn’t look up until Minho’s hands were on his face and he was being forced to look at the older. He tried to shift his eyes away but Minho kept hold of his face and Taemin gave in. Their eyes met and Minho didn’t waste a second before he was pressing his lips against Taemin’s. 

The kiss was gentle at first but quickly turned into something deeper. 

Taemin whimpered and Minho shifted his hands from holding to cradling the back of Taemin’s head as the younger stood. 

They kissed in the kitchen, lips moving gently against each other as Taemin moved to grasp onto Minho’s shirt. His hands slipped under the fabric and touched skin making him shudder. 

“Bed?” Minho asked breaking the kiss just enough to whisper the word against Taemin’s lips. 

Taemin nodded shakily, his nose bumping Minho’s as his heart raced. He yelped as Minho’s hand moved from his head to his thighs and he found himself lifted up automatically wrapping his legs around Minho’s waist as he went up. 

Gripping Minho’s shoulders, Taemin held on while Minho carried him over to his bed. They fell together onto Minho’s bed, bouncing slightly before their lips met again. Taemin’s legs fell from Minho’s body and splayed open for Minho to lay between.

“You scared me tonight.” Minho said after another moment of kissing, pulling away to nuzzle at Taemin’s ear. “I could barely think after I got your message and you never replied to mine. I don’t like feeling that way and I know I shouldn’t have yelled at you. I don’t like feeling helpless.” He placed kisses down the side of Taemin’s neck, stopping to nip at the soft skin at the junction of collarbone and neck. 

“I have a temper and I know that, so I tried to get it out at the gym after Jonghyun said he found you safe, but I couldn’t get the image of you lying in a hospital bed like Jinki and I just reacted badly.” Kisses trailed back up the other side of Taemin’s neck and the younger shifted his head to link their lips. 

Taemin’s hands moved to the back of Minho’s shirt and pulled it up taking his turn to break the kiss to get at Minho’s bare skin. “I’m still not really use to talking things out before going off myself.” Taemin admitted. “I know I don’t deserve to be punished, but I deserve your anger.”

“No you don’t.” Minho pushed himself up on his arms to look at Taemin seriously. “You never deserve someone’s anger.”

“No I don’t deserve someone taking their anger out on me.” Taemin said, parroting an anti-abuse statement he had once read. “But when I do something wrong or dangerous I do deserve your anger. We all have the right to be angry and I don’t you to keep it from me when I make you angry.” 

Minho opened his mouth to argue but Taemin placed a finger over his lips in a hush gesture. “I’m okay with you being angry at me as long as we can talk about it and not yell.” It was hard to be this rational with Minho’s body pressed against his, but Taemin needed to say it before things went further. 

“I can’t promise I won’t yell again,” Minho admitted, “But I do promise to try. I promise that no matter how angry I am I won’t leave you. I want to be with you for as long as you want to be with me.” 

“Really?” Taemin asked softly as Minho lowered his arms. 

“Really.” Minho pushed Taemin’s shirt up and peeled it off as Taemin lifted his arms. 

“Can we talk about this more later?” Taemin asked as he shivered, wanting to cover his chest but being unable to with Minho’s body so close.

Minho grinned, “Yeah, I think we have more pressing matters to deal with now.” He rolled his hips and a pleasured whimper fell from Taemin, who immediately flushed with embarrassed pleasure. 

“Do that again.” Taemin demanded, deciding to ignore his embarrassment. Minho wasn’t going to break up with him and he finally had the chance to have a real family, meeting his real brother for the first time. He was going to enjoy this. 

------

Well the next chapter will be a continuation of Taemin and Minho's activities at the end of this chapter... so hold on for that :) 

Don't think Taemin is off the hook, Key is still pretty pissed and so is Minho for that matter but sometimes there are more important things than fighting. 

Thank you as always for your reading, subscribing, liking and commenting. You are all much appreciated and loved! Please never stop!

Love to you all

Kat