When the nurse finally made her return over an hour later, the room had fallen silent. The sounds of the monitors that kept track of Jinki’s condition beeped in their soft and steady way and the gentle sighs of breathing came from Taemin’s sleeping form. 

Minho had watched as Taemin went silent after divulging over a decade of emotions. The youngest had seemed to struggle with himself for a moment before he crawled up onto the hospital bed, careful not to pull on any of the wires. Taemin had then snuggled himself in to Jinki’s side, pushing his limp arm up and over the smaller boy’s shoulders. 

“We have to be right.” Jonghyun had whispered to Key as they watched Taemin doze off. “Look at them.” 

Key nodded, watching as Minho moved to gently shake Taemin awake. “I don’t even know what to hope for at this moment. I just wish I knew what we could do.” 

They watched as Taemin groggily slipped off the bed, supported by Minho. His eyes were still mostly closed and he yawned, stumbling over his feet and leaning heavily into Minho. The taller looked at him softly, placing a long hand on Taemin’s waist to hold him steady. 

“Is he alright?” The nurse asked as she moved to check the print outs from the machines. Her voice was soft and she watched the four with a maternal stride. 

“Just tired.” Minho said, “its been a long week and he’s stressed out with family issues.” He wasn’t lying, he had seen the toll that the information had taken on Taemin. 

“Poor thing.” She said, adjusting Jinki’s position on the bed. “You should take him for a good hearty meal and then get him into bed.”

“I’m sure Minho would like to get him into bed.” Jonghyun muttered in Key’s ear and received an elbow to the stomach in return. He groaned and rubbed the sore spot. “That hurt.”

“I’ll make it hurt worse if you say anything like that when Taemin can hear you.” Key said with a twisted smile. “You’re just lucky he’s too tired to hear what you’re saying.”

“Why are Jonghyun and Key muttering?” Taemin mumbled, dragging his feet. “Mumble mumble mumble.” He grumbled. 

“Its probably better you don’t ask.” Minho soothed, gently rubbing Taemin’s arm. “You want barbecue?”

“Mmmmm meat.” Taemin smacked his lips. “Steak?”

“Steak.” Minho agreed, a surefire way of making Taemin smile was always offering meat. 

The nurse chuckled. “Its nice to see you boys smiling.” She gave a sad smile as the four turned to look at her. “You’ve had a very hard few months for boys your age and I know you’re still hurting but its nice to see that you can still smile.”

The three that were mostly awake nodded. 

“I’ll see you next week then.” She said, beginning to pull back the blankets on the bed. “Drive safe.” 

They nodded, and Key and Jonghyun took turns quickly moving to the bed and squeezing Jinki’s. Key kissed his forehead and Jonghyun muttered his love in Jinki’s ear. 

With Minho practically carrying Taemin, the group left the room. While there wasn’t an instant reaction like they had wished for, at least they had done something. If anything was going to bring Jinki back to them, they hoped that it would be Taemin. 

————

After a huge dinner of steak, Taemin gave into his friends insistance that he go to bed when they got back to the dorms. For the first time, Minho didnt run off after visiting Jinki and while it was obvious to the others that he was fighting the urge hard, no one said anything. The silent whispers of the other three let Taemin drift of into sleep feeling loved and satisfied that he was a step closer to finding his family regardless of Jinki's outcome.

When morning came, Taemin resigned himself to spending the day doing homework. A phonecall from Sulli prompted a last minuted homework session so Taemin dressed and waited for his girl friends to arrive.Minho filtered in and out of their room all day having a variety of different practices and activities to catch up on after the past week of skipping out on things. 

Sulli and Amber had arrived before Minho left the last time, bring donuts and hot chocolates from the café just off campus. Minho hadn’t been able to justify staying in the room when the girls were there and they knew that he would normally not be home all day on a Sunday. 

He had been severely conflicted, not wanting to leave Taemin alone but not wanting the girls to find out. He refused to let anyone else know about Taemin and Jinki’s likely connection until they could prove it one way or another. 

In the end, Taemin had taken him aside and promised not to leave the room or let the girls leave until Minho was back. “I promise that I won’t leave the room and if I absolutely have to go out somewhere I will call you or Key or Jonghyun, and if Sulli and Amber need to go before you’re home I will call you and find a way to keep them here until one of you three get here. Happy?” 

“No.” Minho said with a glare, “But I’m going with I don’t have another choice do I?”

“Not if you want to go to the gym and whatever sport practice you’ve got today.” Taemin said, giving him a push towards the door. “Now take your stinky bag and go, I’ve got so much homework and we have a group project due at the end of the week. Get out.”

Shaking his head, Minho left. 

Taemin sighed and walked into the kitchen.

“So what’s Minho’s problem now?” Amber asked, taking a bite of her donut. 

“Nothing.” 

“Liar.” Sulli said, giving him a sideways glance. 

“No.” He said, answering her unasked question.

“But you do.” She said trying to stare him down. “Don’t even pretend.”

“I’m not pretending anything.” Taemin said, taking a bite of donut. 

Amber looked between the two and snorted. “Are we talking about Minho’s obvious crush on Taemin or Taemin’s slightly more subtle but still totally there crush on Minho?”

Taemin choked and his donut fell, icing down, on the floor. “I don’t… I mean I… What?” 

Amber laughed, the icing off frosted donut, “Dude, Minho has been following you around all week, meeting you after class and practically carrying your books like some stupid cliche. If you haven’t figured it out, you’re just as dumb as he is.”

“Sulli you promised you wouldn’t tell.” Taemin hissed, regaining his composure. “You promised.”

“I didn’t say anything!” Sulli defended herself, holding up her arms. 

“Then how did Amber figure that out?” 

“Because Amber speaks English too?” Amber said, pointing at herself. “You and Key had that conversation the other day at lunch and apparently he forgot that I’m even more fluent than he is. Idiots.” 

Taemin had the grace to look embarrassed. “Sorry.” He apologized to Sulli. 

She shrugged and flapped her hands, “Its okay, but Amber’s right. After this week there is no way that Minho doesn’t like you. He’s never behaved like this for any of his other friends, hell not even for any of his girlfriends.”

Biting his lip, he couldn’t admit to the girls why Minho was really following him around but he could let them indulge in a little fantasy for a moment. Until Amber began making rude gestures with her donut. “Seriously Amber?” He asked, shaking his head. “Gross.” 

“You say that now, but …” She was cut off by Sulli. 

“Please don’t finish that sentence. I really don’t want that mental image in my head.” She grasped her head and shook it. “Get it out, get it out!” 

Sighing, Taemin tossed his empty coffee cup in the garbage. “How about we get to work? We have like three things due this week and I’m so far behind.” He headed into the bedroom without bothering to see if the girls were going to follow him. 

Opening up his laptop and digging out the assignment guidelines, Taemin wasn’t surprised to hear the heavy thuds that meant the girls had taken seats and dropped their bags. Looking up he watched as powered sugar dusted his bedding as Sulli wiggled into a comfortable position on his bed. 

He made a mental note to change the bedding for the second time that weekend. 

“So history?” 

~~~~~

Nearly four hours later the door to the dorm banged open and Minho stormed in, his face twisted in anger. “Get out.” He snapped at Sulli and Amber, throwing his bag into the wall and ing his hand toward the door. 

“What the hell?” Sulli said, glaring back. “What’s your prob…” 

“I said, get out.” Minho snarled, angrier than Taemin had seen him before. It was actually rather frightening to see the look on his friend’s face. 

“Fine, crazy , we’re leaving.” Sulli snapped, piling up her things. “Let’s go Ber.” 

Amber followed, one eyebrow raised in a confused sort of way but she didn’t argue. She kept her odd look as she packed up and walked backwards out of the room. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” She said bravely, ignoring the dirty look Minho shot her way. 

Sulli slammed the door. 

Taemin stared at Minho as the taller raged around the room. His ranting was too fast for Taemin to follow and as he began to toss things around, it actually began to send a tendril of fear down Taemin’s spine. 

He hadn’t seen this side of Minho before and he didn’t like it. It reminded him too much of his foster family past. 

Slowly he shrank back into his desk chair, waiting until Minho was facing away from him before slipping under his desk and sliding his chair in as close as he could to hide me. He watched from his spot as Minho lobbed his pillow across to Taemin’s bed then flopped face first down on his own mattress and began to scream. 

Tempted to crawl out and comfort Minho, Taemin shook his head at himself. He watched as Minho’s screams turned to sobs and felt his heart break. The wheels of his chair squeaked as he pushed it back out and the sound made Minho jump and turn around. 

“What are you doing under there?” Minho asked, voice rough from tears. 

“You scared me.” Taemin admitted warily.

Minho looked shocked. Slowly he moved and slid off his bed to walk over to Taemin and held out a hand to Taemin. "I'm sorry."

Taemin shook his head, not taking Minho's hand. "I'm going just stay here for another minute. If you don't mind."

Minho shook his head, "Whatever makes you feel better." He looked guilty and while Taemin wanted to make him feel better, the rapid beating of his heart hadn't let up and he was more afraid of his roommate than ever and just needed a moment to process. 

“Thank you." Taemin paused. "You were throwing things.” He explained wanting to give Minho an explanation for why he was still under the desk without saying that it was Minho himself that was scaring him. 

“I know.”

“You yelled at Sulli and Amber.” 

“I know.”

“You scared me.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I know. Why?”

Minho sighed and threw himself back onto his bed. Digging at his hair with his hands, “Its complicated.” 

“You’ve just trashed our room and if I wasn’t as well adjusted as I am I’d probably spend the rest of the night under this table shaking,” He paused, scuttling a little further under the desk again. “or in tears. Or even a combination of them both. So explain?”

“Can you come out from under there, please?” Minho asked, wiping his eyes with the sleeve of his shirt. 

“I’d kind of rather stay here in case you start to throw things again.” Taemin said, trying to give his roommate a sympathetic smile. “I mean, logically I know that you’re not likely to start throwing things at me, but old habits die hard.”

Minho winced. It was obvious to Taemin that his friend hadn’t meant to scare him, he had likely forgotten that Taemin had residual issues when people lashed out. “If you say that you’re sorry again I will stay under this table all night.” He informed him with a serious tone. 

Holding his hands up in surrender, Minho agreed. “If it makes you feel better.” He took a deep breath and began to pace. 

The quick steps weren’t as upsetting to Taemin as the throwing, but it still brought back unpleasant memories and made him glad that he had chosen to sit things out under his desk. He’d wait until Minho was calmer and more obviously in need of a comforting gesture before he would emerge. 

“My dad called.” Minho began, his voice thick with emotion. “He just got a call from Jinki’s—” He cleared his throat. “From your parents.” He looked to Taemin for encouragement to continue. When he saw the younger give a slight nod of his head from the dark shade of his hiding spot, he continued. “They’ve moved up the date. They’re taking Jinki off life support tomorrow.” He took a shuddering, deep breath. 

A painful ache throbbed in Taemin’s chest. He hadn’t felt emotional pain like this before and if he hadn’t already been on the floor he was sure it would have brought him to his knees. He tried to move, to crawl out to comfort his friend, but he couldn’t find the strength. 

“I guess it was for nothing.” Taemin sighed softly, he picked at the nails on his left hand. He looked down as one of his fingers started to bleed. 

“Yeah, I guess.” Minho stopped pacing, “Can I join you under there?” 

Looking up at the large, earnest eyes of his friend, Taemin nodded. He scooted closer to the edge of his desk, wondering how his larger roommate was going to fit with him in a small space. 

Minho dropped to his knees and scooted under, it was uncomfortable and small and he ended up crunched up with his knees to his chest. He pressed his back against the wall and slid his left arm around Taemin. He tugged the younger into his side and his heart hammered as Taemin settled his head, stiffly, on Minho’s shoulder. 

“My best friend is going to die.” Minho’s voice was soft and he sounded much younger than 17. He broke down, crouched under a desk he was much too small for. 

Taemin sniffled, turning awkwardly under Minho’s arm and shifting until he managed to wrap his arms around his friend. It was uncomfortable and his back hurt, he figured his legs would go to sleep and get all tingly but it didn’t matter. 

“I’m sorry.” He whispered, “I’m so so sorry.” 

Minho turned, teary, to face Taemin. Their noses brushed in the small space and they froze. 

Taemin’s heart raced and he tried to stop it, knowing that this wasn’t the time for his crush to tailspin. His brother was about to be taken off life support. His friend was in pain and there was nothing that he could do about either. 

“Minho.” He breathed, his mouth went dry and he his lips. 

Minho swallowed hard, his eyes half focused on Taemin’s lips. He sniffled and he brushed his nose against Taemin’s again. He opened his mouth to say something, anything, but instead he gave into the only feeling the past week he had that hadn’t made him feel horrible. 

Minho shifted his head to the right just enough that he could press his lips against Taemin’s lips. 

Both boys froze for a moment, the feeling of rough chapped lips against rough chapped lips wasn’t exactly the pleasant experience either boy was waiting for. It took a seconds breath for Taemin to react. 

He shifted, pushing himself onto Minho’s lap even though his head smashed against the underside of the desk. The jolt of pain didn’t register but later he would wonder where the bump came from. Pressing his lips harder against Minho’s he let out a soft whine. 

Minho arms moved around Taemin’s body and one hand trailed up his back and shifted through Taemin’s coppery hair. The extensions that Key had insisted he get weeks before were pulled and several snapped, tangling around Minho’s fingers as he had no regards for what he was doing. 

The only thing that mattered was the taste of Taemin’s mouth, the leftover sweetness of the donuts he had eaten earlier. His tongue pressed against Taemin’s lip to deepen the kiss and the younger responded with a happy sigh. 

Minho moaned as Taemin kissed back. He couldn’t think about anything other than the weight of Taemin on his lap and the wetness of his mouth against his. He couldn’t keep track of how long they kissed but when Taemin shifted in his lap and Minho felt something else press against his thigh, he pulled back. 

They both took a shaky breath, Taemin’s eyes were unfocused as he tried to peer at Minho in their close space. A little puff of a breath filtered out and he shakily exhaled. Then everything seemed to catch up with him and his eyes opened wide. He let out a whimper as he realized how his body had begun to react to his close proximity to Minho and he quickly backed out of his hiding spot. 

Minho followed, he figured his cheeks were as flushed as Taemin’s were and he his lips in nervousness. 

Taemin’s hands were crossed in front of himself, trying to hide his withering problem. He noticed that Minho was very obviously having the same issue but wasn’t trying to hide it. 

Neither knew what to say, unsure of how things had just transpired and neither wanting to question anything. 

“We should go get some dinner.” Minho said. “The cafeteria will be closed soon and I don’t really feel like cooking.” 

Taemin nodded hastily, “Yes dinner. Then its laundry night and Amber ate powered sugar donuts on my bed and after we ate chips Friday night, I don’t have any more clean sheets.”

“I’ll get the towels and you get the sheets?” Minho asked, seizing the chance to ignore the awkward conversation they were going to have to have. 

Taemin nodded and turned around quickly. Minho scurried off to the bathroom, heart pounding and unable to control the likely stupid looking smile that was on his face. 

He was still damaged by the news about Jinki but now his head was being pulled in a variety of places and he could stop thinking long enough to process anything. It would hit him later again, as he tried to go to sleep, but he would deal with that then. 

For now, he had dinner to eat and laundry to do. 

---- 

To all my lovely readers who celebrate Christmas, I wish you a Merry Christmas and hope that your days are filled with love and happiness and laughter. 

To my lovely readers who celebrate another holiday I wish you a Happy Holiday! I'm sorry to group all the holidays in to one greeting (with the exception of Christmas) but I don't want to leave any out. Your holidays and celebrations are just as important as mine and I wish you nothing but happiness and joy and love. 

As always, let me know your thoughts!! 

All my loves 

Kat