Welcome to the world of hell, in other words my world. You see I always wanted a happy family a caring mother and father, but I guess god hates my guts and gives me this crap to deal with. 

 

My father, ohh my dear father was a useless being, borrowing money was his specialty. Borrowing, never repaying them back, borrowing and it continues leaving- you guessed it huge amount of debts. Eventually he finally decided to commit suicide. Which was unexpected for my mother and I. 

 

 My wonderful, loveable mother was my hero, I respect her and love her too. She worked her of just to repay those debts, provide shelter and food for both of us. She never once complain about it, seeing her like this hurts my heart.

 

My mother was overly stressed out and overwhelmed with tiredness. If I weren't young that time I would get a job, repay those evil debts and just maybe have my mother stay with me. 

 

The Black Hands would bang on the door during the middle of the night lurking for money from us. My mother would always cover my ears and softly hum a melody to me so I couldn't hear them. Deep down I knew she was afraid, but she never showed it and always kept that smile on her face. 

 

One day she brought me to a orphanage she hugged me ever so tightly and for the first time I saw her cry. My mother said her last words before she committed suicide.

 

'I'm so sorry I'm doing this Kyungah but I'm tired of this and I can't provide a better future for you, if they ever find you run away, don't let them catch you.  Don't ever lose that beautiful  smile of yours Kyungah. And please forgive me, I'll always love you.' 

 

And so I was devastated the she left me and died, I was alone. I loved her but in my mind I thought that it was the best for her and that she needed some rest. The last thing for me to remember is the locket shaped like a heart, with a picture of me and my mother in it. One of my most prized possessions. 

 

In the orphanage I was bullied, they never liked me. They thought that I was the one who made my parents commit suicide. They never knew my story and look at them, there're  the ones who are also in an orphanage who probably lost their loved ones too. But what did I care, I could careless about them, even if I was bullied my whole entire childhood life. I needed to be strong, I always thought of getting revenge one day and kill the leader of the Black Hands.

 

That was one of my goal. 

 

There was always these group of boys who were so nice and caring towards me, it left a bright light in my heart. It felt like I wasn't alone, they treated me like family. But I left them, I left the orphanage, I had no choice I didn't want my closest friends to get hurt. I wanted them to have a bright future. 

 

And so I provide myself a job and a small room at a cafe. Which the ahjumma great fully accepted me. 

 

I had a feeling that the Black Hands lost contact of my parents. But they knew they had a daughter and would find me sooner or later. 

 

My plan was collect the money first. If that's going well I can move on to my second plan. 

 

Once in a while those group of boys pop in my head. I envied them, they probably had a better future than me, and probably a better family. But someday I'll meet them again and I was sure of it.