Title: 4/5

Nice, eye catching title. Although it would be best if you hadn't gone for such a long title though. Eg. "Does it really matter who you are related to?" For the suspense you want to give your readers.

Description: 3/5

As for the description, you can put all the character info and stuff there and put some spoilers for the foreword. I saw some really nice stories when they place spoilers for the readers to be interested and really subscribe for the whole story.

Foreword: 2/5 ( reviewed by Nana , muziklady98)

You should have asked for a character chart instead of putting a PLAIN bio there. Although I like the angsty fonts , italic and formatting , it was too plain. Include a character chart or fanfic trailer to help boost interest :D

Chapter Titles: 5/5

Your chapter titles are straight to the point, not too long. Just the way i like it. It gives the summary of the chapters.

Graphics: -/5 ( reviewed by Nana , muziklady98 )

No marks deducted. Again, I will recommend you to find a shop for your poster/background. A dark angsty poster would be good :D It'll attract readers to read it more :D

Spelling/Grammar: 9/15

Not bad. And i can't say well done though. Here are some pointers:

He’s really sweet and caring and will always stick up for his friends and those in need of some help.

He was really sweet and caring and would always stick up for his friends and those in need of help.

Your story is in the past tense.

Me and the guy both looked at them then nodded at the same time.

The guy and I looked at them and nodded at the same time.

The old lady at the reception desk kept smiling t me and I wasn’t really sure why.

I know that the 't' was supposed to be 'at' but you missed out the 'a' so be careful and it wouldn't hurt to just reread your chapters and edit accordingly.

That was just some of the mistakes I pointed out. Most of the readers themselves know how to autocorrect but some of them don't so it'll be good to edit :)

Character Development: 7/10

I felt that it was neutral, I liked the twist :D It was kind of nerve-racking when Bekkha went on the date with Hoya (No offense)

Story Flow: 9/10

The flow was good, unlike some stories which are in a mess.

Details: 8/15

Some parts could be more elaborated, like,

I lay my head on the kitchen surface and just listened to the water boiling in the kettle and waiting patiently.

I grabbed a chair from the dining table, sat on the chair and rested my head on the cold, hard surface of the dining table. My ears could only hear the silence as I waited for the boiling of the water.

I walked through the empty corridors and began to feel uneasy.

As everyone went to their lessons, I walked alone through the empty corridors. I felt someone watching my every move, their eyes piercing through my soul. My heart started to beat faster as tiny sweat beads began to form on my palms, making them sweaty.

Kyujong was in the kitchen when I entered.

Kyujong was in the kitchen cooking up some bacon and eggs. I felt like eating them, chatting with my brother like old times, but i pushed the thoughts away.

Warning Updates: 2/5

I agree that comments= Author's Motivation. But that doesn't mean that you update late because of it. I believe that there are other reasons ;)

Uniqueness/Originality: 8/10

The happy ending was predictable like most stories. The at the end was pretty well planned(?) XDD but normally, don't think i'm a but, when you do THAT for a girl, they can't really walk the next day.

Layout : 4/5

I really liked the paragraphing with the dialogue. Not many authors know how to place a paragraph for each dialogue. i really disliked it when i saw all the conversations all mashed up together. You should learn to space out the conversations.

Overall Enjoyment: 3/5

For an author like me, I expect more action than introductions and repeating of chapters in a different person's POV. In this case, I would advise you to write in 3rd person's POV so you don't have to keep repeating the chapters like in chapter one for the bumping into each other part.

Bonus Points: 1 point for neat layout.

Total Score: 64 / 95 + 1 = 65 / 95 = 68.5

Grade: C

Reviewer's Note : Good Job Author-nim. Although it was just a C , I hope you continue to write what you write best! :D A little bit more to a B!!! :D  Fighting :D

 

Thanks for the review and I hope to improve this story in the future...

 

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