Jungsis (& Yoona) ... There's a lot going on here, idk... LOL. PS: YOU = Jaesoo Jung

We were just a normal family before it happened. The five of us just living together, doing the things a family would do. Having meals together, going on trips, joking around, you know? It was appa, umma, noona, me and the maknae. We were happy... before that unspeakable tragedy happened.

As much as I want forget it all. I know I'm never going to escape this nightmare. A murky but ever present memory that won't disappear despite all our desperate attempts to wash away all the suffering with our tears. It was a disturbance of utter chaos that left us as mere fragments of our former selves.

That day was mine and Sica noona's birthday. It will be a day I will never forget. The day I turned sixteen and noona became an adult in more ways than she ever imagined. Noona was training at the SM building while Soojung and I were in school. As usual Soojung waited for me at the gates to get out of class before we made our way home.

I remember teasing Krys about all the yummy food Noona and I would get to eat for our birthday with out her, seaweed soup and all. As soon as our house was in sight, we raced each other up to the steps. Even though I knew I could win, I always let the maknae win so I could see that gleeful smile of her. Little did I know it would be the last time such a smile would adorn her face.

Instead of being greeted by umma, halmoni was sitting behind the kitchen counter. Her eyes sullen and a frown fixed to her face. Sensing her distress, I asked her what was wrong. She swallowed anxiously before telling us we needed to go get noona and go to the hospital. Before Soojung and I could protest or ask questions, we rushed to SM and then to the hospital. The four of us rode silently to the hospital without a clue of the grim news that was looming ahead of us. We were led to a hospital room. There were doctors and nurses stared at us with eyes full of pity.

In the room were the lifeless bodies of our parents. There weren't any monitors or cords attached to them, much to my despair. We rushed to their sides. Sica held umma's hand while Soojung threw herself desperately at Appa. Halmoni cried in hushed whimpers behind me. All I could do was watch. I prayed to God to let me wake up quickly.

None of us dared to speak a word. I saw the light in noona's eyes leave that day. Her shoulders slumped as she sobbed uncontrollably into my shoulder. And Soojung, my precious Soojung, she change that day, we all did but her change was the most significant. Our once, annoyingly hyperactive dongsaeng seemingly lost her voice. She became reserved, speaking only when it was completely necessary. And then there was me. I felt utterly lost. Noona was 18, I was 16 and Soojung was only 13. What could three teenagers do? We were orphans... I tried to put on a strong facade for my sisters. I dragged Soojung into my lap as Sica leaned deeper into my chest, pulling them into my embrace I held them close to me. I cried silently as the tears streamed down my cheeks.

That morning we had all rushed out the door to make it on time to our respective schools. If only we could have had breakfast together. To eat one last meal with Appa and umma.  To eat a final meal as a family. The regret haunts me to this day. All the apologies and thank you we were never able to say.

After Appa and umma's wake and burials the three of us moved to halmoni's. Noona was still training to follow her dreams. Only A few more months and they would be debuting, I begged her to make her dream come true. I knew she lost all fight to chase after her dreams. Life seemed bleak and pointless for all of us. But if she debuted and moved into the dorms with her group, then at least I knew she would be safe and fed. Luckily noona was 18 and she became our legal guardian, so we didn’t have to deal with the worries of social workers separating us.

I didn't want them to suffer anymore. At sixteen, I was determined to protect and provide for my precious sisters. Of course halmoni took care of us the best she could. Soon enough Soojung joined noona's agency as well. I kept studying and working. Before classes I played the newspaper boy. When school was out I walked Soojung to SM before going to work at a nearby cafe. It worked out nearly perfect, when I got off work I picked Soojung up and we would ride the bus to halmoni’s. If we were lucky, we would see Sica noona in the practice rooms.

It wasn't like our parents left us with nothing; it's just the three of us left it untouched save for paying for our school fees and tuition. When it came to pocket money, halmoni gave us some occasionally but for the most part I split my pay checks with Jess and Krys, while putting a small amount into a savings.

Noona finally debuted after seven long, grueling years of training. Soojung and I were so proud of her. If only umma and Appa could have seen their stage. As a present, I scrounged together my earnings to buy us each a cell phone. I knew noona would be busy, so it would be nice to have a way to communicate.

Before I knew it, Soojung was debuting in a group as well. Noona’s group had defied all odds and their popularity was on the rise. There were no words to express how proud I was of them. They made it, even if umma and appa weren’t here. My sisters made their dreams come true. Once Soojung was all moved in and accustomed to her idol life, I enlisted to the military. I promised noona and Soojung I would write to them. And so I did, those two years I wrote them countless letters with a little pocket money slipped inside here and there. Once I was discharged from the army, I started at the café near SM again.

Sica and Soojung’s popularity were off the charts now. As much as I hate it, I became distant from them. We never had time to meet up, and to b