Some days all she could do was look away, pretend and perfect her faraway gaze. What people doesn’t seem to realize was the direction of these seemingly random stares. She looks without really looking and she knows voicing that aloud will never make sense, not that she ever would, make it past to the world that is.

If she could then why would she torture herself with all these subtleties when all she wanted was to take in his image without repercussions?

Sometimes she doesn’t know whether it was a curse to be surrounded by all these wonderful friends who were mostly male. Name one good trait and she’ll tell you a name who would perfectly represent that adjective.

Gentleman, funny, smart, respectful, eloquent, cute, good-looking - go get a dictionary. How about if you need someone to go with you to the mall for clothes and shoes? Most of the guys would have run screaming, make it during the holiday season and you’d have men begging on their knees. Or someone who cooks the best ramen in the world? How about accompanying you to totally weird places like the spa or the tanning salon?

Nowadays when the subject of dating comes up, she has to restrain herself from saying her reasons.

It’s not just because she couldn’t find someone more caring, loveable and better than her oppas and dongsaeng. There’s one more thing or two no man could match.

A gaze that tells and thousand words,

A smile that says it’s okay, you did well, and you are good.

A gesture that sends ones heart pumping fast.

She’s learned to hide it all behind blank stares, laughs that’s always been restrained only to be released at convenient times.

Mostly the blank stares and adorable confusions were enough answers.

“You know it’s unfair you all gang up with me, I’m not the only one who is single here!” she retorts playfully before growing afraid of the knowing realization on Haha’s face. He elbows Gwang Soo on his right, nudges Jae Suk and basically creates too much fuss before nodding at Jong Kook’s direction which earns him a smack on top of his head. Who knew someone in lotus position could jump forward without uncurling their legs?

Yet that horrible retorts and slight color on the man’s cheeks that has nothing to do with alcohol – for he’s not consumed any - sent a warmth through Ji Hyo. She tried to look adorably confused as usual but the beginning of a smile has already escaped and she could never fool her closest friends.

Gwang Soo tried to rescue her but only made it all worst. “Yah I’m single too! Why don’t I count? Noona let’s go out again to that store to that buffet you love!” Of course he too, has earned a smack coming from all directions. Sometimes when you’re the maknae it’s very common although contrary to how it looked, it never hurt. More like a stronger pat on the head to be honest.

“Gwang Soo-yah, you need to write your last will… like right now.” Jae Suk scolded the maknae, unfortunate his punishment wasn’t enough. Jong Kook, surprisingly or not really, choked him with his arm muscles. Gwang Soo tried say jealous but feared for his life at the last moment.

Haha also tried to comment on the defensiveness but thought better once he saw Gwang Soo turning red while shrieking no over and over again. He did saw Ji Hyo’s satisfied smirk, “Hey imagine having to write a last will instead of signing a prenup before the wedding! It will be hilarious- I’m sorry!” Haha jumped up, glad that Ji Hyo had too much of a drink to be fast. He ran off with an excuse to get more drinks. Only the promise of more soju stilled Ji Hyo from running after the still childish father of three.

The night has as always passed quickly as the group of friends hanged out. The older ones begged off early and crawled in to the guest rooms. Their new family members dropped by but couldn’t stay long. They got a lot of cheers for landing a small project together from their sunbae’s. Haha, their host and Gary was pulled away by their children to be used as their favorite life-sized teddies. Gwang Soo was happily snoring under the table.

Ji Hyo clumsily ambled to the balcony. Without turning she sighed, “I’m alright oppa.” Blessed silence reigned. She was perfectly content to watch the city lights and feel the cool breeze on her soju warmed face.

“Ji, you know I’m also curious…”

“’Bout what? That ridiculous teasing?” The silence that answered her was as good as a confirmation but only made Ji Hyo snort. “People won’t ever stop trying to match us you know… and Gwang Soo’s the li’l bro. Wait, you know this is all your fault after all oppa.”

“How come? I’ve been perfectly quiet in my corner watching you all abuse your livers.” He exclaimed with mock indignation.

Of course Ji Hyo could perfectly remember. That damned reputation of Jong Kook’s regarding love lines created expectations and while she’ not as awkward with Gary anymore she still couldn’t help but wonder if it was with him.

With their legendary team-ups it showed how they worked so well together and once she realized how much their interactions consisted of a look, a small smile and plenty of faith - that has always tempted her of thinking about what-ifs.

How she wished she could find that in a man, well she did, but Jong Kook would never… and how could someone compete with a relationship, albeit just friendly, of ten years and counting? Beside, has she mentioned how perfect her friends are?

Nobody could compete and she’s almost happy enough to grow old married with her craft (if it means more years with them (him)).

Than live a life of resentment and comparison with someone.

She turned to him, heart skipping a beat before furiously running in her rib cage. He was much too close than she realized and that look in his eyes - as usual he managed to ask her why, assure her he’s there and that everything’s okay, without a word.

Her eyes went back to the beautiful cityscape but it seemed its lost its spark.

Ten, seconds, minutes, a month and a year – time just stops. Sometimes it feels like they were their own world as if transported to another. That was until the clearing of throat forced her to turn to him again.

“Would it be bad?” He asked, standing beside Ji Hyo, close enough for their arms to brush fleetingly. She asked what, her eyes searching his. Ji Hyo knows he understood when he returned it, gaze for a gaze, the world was silent.

Just now, maybe some words were also needed, at times necessary.

“Guess if So Min and Se Chan dates,” she released a gust of breath, checking his face for any… anything at all saying that she misunderstood, that she should stop and salvage their friendship - she trusted their secret communication. His eyes never, ever lies. “Then we’d only have to worry about Gwang Soo.” Ji Hyo carefully finishes and the smile she got in return just made everything fall into place.

Like a huge puzzle with only a missing piece - the last piece that gave sense to it all.

As the wind picked up, Jong Kook stepped closer, slowly draping an arm around Ji Hyo and pulling her closer to his warmth. Content as they both leaned at each other, perfectly balanced as always.

____

I know it's been years since I've been here that I'm almost embarrased to post this but... I missed to write, missed them all and the fandom. Tho I still need to catch up with the show. Hope you all enjoy this little spartace story and forgive me for the mistakes, I need so much practice. Happy Holidays!