성재: I tilt my head to one side, and tug down one corner of my lips. “Are you sure about this?”

“I guess,” Se Na shrugs her shoulders. “I don’t really need a large room. All I need is a workspace,”

“For?”

She strides towards me, and smiles, accompanied by a little sigh. “Remember about what I told you back in the van?”

I think about it. “You told me a lot of things. Which one?”

“I write.”

“Oh,” I throw my head to one side and smirk. “Alright, alright. You need a table, don’t you?”

“Yuh.”

“Okay. I shall buy you one tomorrow,”

“Really?” she gasps. “Won’t you have schedules by then?”

“Well, we do, but maybe I can cut some time and squeeze you into my schedule.”

Se Na squeals at that.

“What?” I knit my brows.

Her eyes smile. “You’re too good; I can do it by myself. Look I’m sorry I’m a little selfish—I’m not really used to you getting all busy now,”

I pull a face at her. “You sure about that? What if you’ll buy some other things you won’t need, again?”

“You worry too much, old man, gee, I won’t,” she gives me an eye-roll.

“Promise?”

“Yeah.”

I lift her right arm and make her open her palm.  “Promise that.”

“Okay.”

“No. Do it like this: Yook Sungjae, I promise I won’t buy unnecessary things tomorrow because I’m supposed to put myself in a tight budget and I can’t carelessly spend my money,”

Se Na ends up bowing her head and laughing. “Okay. Yook Sungjae I promise I won’t buy unnecessary things blah, blah, blah…”

“Good.”

She unclasps herself from my hold. “Aren’t you gonna go home?”

“About to, actually,” I put on my jacket and slowly make my way to the door. “Will you be alright here?”

“Sure. I’ll just go outside for a while—“

“Stay home, it’s already eleven o’clock.” I firmly say. “It’s not healthy for kids like you to go outside this time at night,”

“I’m not a kid.”

“Oh yes you are,” I frown. “You’re still under the supervision of an adult.”

“Who also happens to be a minor himself.”

“Se Na!”

“What?” her hands land on her stomach as she recoils in hard laughter. “You know I’m just saying,”

“Ugh,” I roll my eyes. Now do I just feel the burden of being Se Na’s older brother.  “ Okay; where are you going?”

A sincere smile makes its way to her face. She knows I’m allowing her now. “I heard there’s a café not so far from here. I wanna go over-time and work on this stupid Koko Krunch assignment while I sip some hot drink,”

“You know what,” I pick up the gray sweater that’s lying limply on the bed and drape it on her. “I really should go with you.”

She rolls her eyes. “Stop over-acting, Jae. Trust me, I’ll be fine. I’ve learned some self-defense, for your information,” she nonchalantly clears up, inserting her arms into the sleeves of the sweater with my guidance.

“Oh? How?”

“Pro-wrestling. TV.”

My palm meets my face. “I wash my hands of you, child. Ugh,” I wear my shoes.

“Bye, Jae, annyeong,” she waves as I open the door, completely ignoring my sulking. “See you tomorrow,”

Despite of the annoyance she had caused me I still smile at her. “Bye,” but before I close the door, she runs to me. “Eh?”

“Thank you so much,” her arms engulf my torso and I could hear sharp breathing as she smells me, despite of all the dust, sweat and tiredness we have endured for  today as we moved her things in her apartment unit. “I’ll try to do more of the job tomorrow so your work won’t be that heavy anymore,” this is the Pyo Se Na known to Yook Sungjae. The sweet child that hides behind that hard shell of cynicism caused by a lifetime of solitude and misery.

My heart warms at this. This is what I have been itching to feel again for the past two years. This is what I missed. Presently I pat her back with a somehow caustic exhaling, “Maybe you’ll end up lying around here all day,” and it’s immediately followed by a loud “OUCH!”. She just pinched my waist.

She draws out. “Go now, really,”

“Oh I will,” I stick my tongue out at her. “Bye,”

“Bye,” and with that final smile for the day the door closes, and I am sure that Se Na is secure.

By the time I get to the dorm I know I’m up for big trouble since when I excused myself I promised them that I’ll be back immediately, when in fact I’m here now, beyond late. Walking forth I am very close to the door of our home and there I see a familiar figure about to go out of the door.

“Peniel-hyung?” I call out, and when he turns, I confirm it.

“Sungjae.” The steady voice sounds more like an intimidating statement.

In attempts to ease the somewhat tension building up inside me I ask him, “Where are you going?”

I see him taking a while before answering, and I immediately slap myself mentally having forgotten to fix myself before leaving Se Na’s home. “Out. to look for you.” He eventually answers. Uh-oh. “The next time, tell us where you’re going, alright; not that you’re going anywhere you want. At least we know where to find you.” He reproaches, and instead of feeling sorry I feel touched, that instead of being penitent I laugh, and hyung’s expression turns into exasperation.

“Sungjae, seriously,”

“Alright, alright,” I bow my head and apologize—though not obviously, but sincerely, “Sorry hyung,”

“It’s okay,” I feel his hand patting my shoulder and that causes me to look up. “I’ll be back immediately,” he bids, and I immediately know that he’ll still go.

“Where are you going?” I query, when he steps past me.

“Outside, apparently.”

My mouth winds a smile. Hyung is obviously sulking. I . “Be back immediately, alright?”

He lets out an annoyed but amused grunt at that. “Shut up,” here he raises an arm as he walks away. “See you.”

After that I make my entrance into our home, and I am practically attacked by my hyungs. Just my luck, it’s Hyunsik-hyung, the very muscular one, that’s nearest to the door dives at me first--after the one-second delay of letting the fact that I’m home sink in, he pounces at me. “Where have you been?!” he’s either pummeling me or tickling me.

“Hyung, oh my—hyung! Stop! Somebody help! I’m being oppressed!” I squeal like I girl as I suffer from hyung’s harassment, but still laughing.

“Ya-ya-ya Yook Sungjae you said you’ll only be gone for a while! What took you so long?!” Minhyuk-hyung joins in the ruckus, and together with Hyunsik-hyung they swing me like a hammock, and throw me on a nearby soft surface.

Remind me why I was forced to be bandmates with these guys again.

“I’ll explain, hyung! I can explain!” I say while leader-hyung pokes me in the belly. “I had some business somewhere.”

“Tell all!”

“It’s a secret, hyung.” I playfully giggle. “Promise. I’ll tell it soon,”

“Why not nowwww?” Ilhoon-hyung protests.

“Because it takes time, hyung; next week, maybe, you’ll know,”

They stare at me, bewildered.

“Excuse me,” I slowly stand up from my seat, angelically smiling, and walk towards the shower, in the resolution to take a bath.

I undress myself slowly as soon as I realize that my arms hurt, aching most probably because of helping the moving men in lifting and some moving in the apartment. In fairness, for the past two days of moving in Se Na’s home is complete, well maybe except for that work-table she asks for. But nonetheless, her unit’s very pretty now; it transformed from the empty wide space to the home of a 16-year-old designed with such uniqueness; the design ranging from a feminine to a masculine one. I don’t know how she did it but somehow Se Na found a way to make the dark blue and pink colors harmonize together perfectly in a single room. She said that that apartment was officially hers, but she said I’m always welcome there. Heck, I could even sleep there, she said.

The tiredness is enough to make me pass out, but as I diligently bathe myself under the running water I remember the catch of the day, and it makes me laugh, simply because it’s hilarious.

Like the usual for the past two days Se Na and I were busy moving objects here and there, but this time I had this some sort of mischief up my sleeve. It was the near-end of our supposed lunchtime, and I thought that while the moving men were still away for their meal, maybe it was time to reveal the surprise.

“Hey Fire Tooth,” I call her, while she’s busy arranging the books on the shelf and she’s sipping the contents of a packet of Tabasco sauce.

“Ne?”

“Remember what I told you back when we were kids?”

She glances at me. “You told me a lot of things. Which one?”

I walk to her. “I told you I’d buy you a lot of chocolates of when I become rich.”

“Hm-mm,” she nods twice with a smile, putting the taller book at the back of the shorter one. “What about it?”

“I guess I won’t be able to do that now, just yet,”

Her shoulders slack. “For a moment I thought you had it,” she puffs her cheeks in displeasure.

I giggle. “I have to show you something in the kitchen. Come,” I stretch forth my hand and she takes it. No malice, really—Se Na and I nothing if not highly platonic best friends.

“What now?” she looks up blankly, when I show to her the closed twin doors of a cupboard in the kitchen.

“Close your eyes,”

She does. “So?”

Slowly, I open the door of the cupboard and, “Ta-daaaaaa!”

As soon as she opens her eyes a gasp escapes , and from shock, her face transforms to delight. “Sungjae! What the—impossible! How did you do this?”

I scratch my nape. “Oh, you know, just closed a deal with a couple wholesalers of this stuff…so…yeah. do you like it?”

“I love it! oh my goshhh, Yook Sungjae, I love you so much!!!” she shrieks and dives into me, and encircles her arms around my neck. “I couldn’t ask for more!!!”

I return the hug, and sway our bodies from side to side. “I figured this would be the best house-warming gift for you,”

She lets out a raucous laugh. “You really know me!”

“Of course. It’s not like I’d call you ‘Fire Tooth’ for nothing, right?”

And we’re getting the hang of our hug, that after those words we stay silent, and the embrace turns to a sentimental, tender one. We cling to each other, not because of happiness, but because of the somewhat black feeling that it’s only the two of us now. That whatever may happen to my fragile cargo named Se Na—I am absolutely accountable for it and I know we were both conscious of the idea that everyone will wash their hands of us now—no adults, no one to look over us at all; we’re like two kids that ran away from home, with me as the older one, therefore the one responsible. For a moment I feel sad, too sad even, now threatened of the fact that it’s up to me now to fill the place in Se Na’s heart known as family. I should function as a brother, father (lover, even, if I really have to—but we both know that that shall have to wait soon). Se Na, ever since she was a child, was an unloved one, and thank goodness that I was God-sent to rescue her from that void of emptiness. I feel her stable breathing, and the silence that accompanies the hovering depression in the atmosphere. “Se Na?” I call.

“Ne,”

“Don’t hide secrets from me, okay?”

“Why’d you ask that?” her voice sounds muffled since ’s on the cloth of my shoulder.

I her head, smoothing her disheveled hair. “I don’t know…just…tell me everything. Really, everything. Even when you’re displeased with something. I know I won’t be the best, but I’ll do my best.”

“Pretty mushy there, Yook,” she just chuckles.

I stay silent, to let her know I’m serious. After a while she senses it, and says,

“I think I know where you’re going with this,”

I close my eyes and sink my face into her hair. “Good thing you do. Because I don’t want to seem like an idiot trying to be a young appa,”

“Correction, ahjussi,”

I let that slip, merely letting out a small chrotle at that, and I think we’re already hugging for a minute now.

“Tsk, tsk, kids nowadays…” there’s a deep voice that comes into the room and we’re forced to spring apart. The moving-man ahjussi comes into the room, with this judging look on his face. “Tell me something, is she pregnant?” he points me, and then Se Na.

We both feel embarrassed at the exaggerated misconception of us, and as Se Na and I incoherently mumble in explanation, we look at each other, and burst out laughing, altogether boisterously.

“Geez…youth today…” the ahjussi scratches his head.

Se Na pauses her laughter for a moment, and when she regains her breath she explains to him. “I’m the one moving out, ahjussi. This is my best friend. He’s helping me out in the packing,”

Ahjussi clucks his tongue. “You sure you won’t develop feelings for each other?”

Mine and Se Na’s eyes meet, and together, we gag. This time I explain. “It looks like that’s really close to happening, isn’t it? We already promised to get married when we don’t find who’s for us, but we know that will have to wait, ahjussi,”

The skeptical look on his face renews to an impressed one. With a smile he tells us, “Very well, that is very wise of you children. Now you make me more inspired to work. You make me restore my faith in teenagers,”

“Alright!” Se Na and I do a high-five, followed by another round of laughing.

And just when moments ago we were very demoralized, now we were strengthened, knowing that there is still hope.

When I move out of the bathroom I immediately put on my PJs, more than ready to go to sleep. I spend a good hour at the living room, and when I’m about to hit the hay Peniel-hyung arrives.

“You said you were only gonna be gone for a while?” is my greeting to him, and I instantly wonder what he really did outside that he looks tired.

“You’ve been gone for two hours, hyung,” Ilhoon-hyung muses. “What did you do? Had a date along the way?”

Peniel-hyung shakes his head slowly. “No…I…”

“You what…?”

“Just drank coffee…and made a friend.”

That’s nice. Peniel-hyung gets over his awkwardness now. “Interesting!” I put an arm around his neck, pouncing at him. “Now tell us about that friend,”

“Maybe tomorrow…” hyung looks like death. “I’m tired,”

I shrug. “If you say so. Now dress up and we’ll go lights out any time now,”

He does so.

A little later, when we’re lying on our respective bunks, I think about introducing Se Na to the guys. She says she’s quite familiar of us already, and it’s funny that she especially mentioned ‘Minhyuk-oppa’ and ‘Peniel-oppa’ as absolutely good-looking, and that makes me happy.

I will introduce her, then. Soon, maybe?