성재: There’s this story when Se Na and I were younger.

I could not exactly remember how old we were then, but I still resided in Busan. We were eating in our house, having a movie marathon. Se Na complained continually about being “so obscenely hungry” that she practically demanded me that I order chicken so we could have something to eat. It was the weekend, so we were free to do whatever we want.

“Jae, are you done with the homework seonsaengnim gave?” she asked, half-full with the chicken.

“Which one? The reaction for the story we read?”

“Hm-mm,”

“Eh, I only did the first part.”

“First part? You mean you’ve only done one paragraph?”

“Nope. I only did one sentence.”

“Cool.” She frowned. “That’s productivity at its finest,”

I giggled. “Don’t worry about that. The deadline is still on Wednesday,”

“Please do tell me you’re just waiting for the inspiration to write,” she sighed in pain.

“Nope. I’m waiting for the last minute to write,” I grinned.

Here, as I was within the vicinity of her reach, she smacked the back of my head. “Babo! Do it tonight, seriously!”

“Ow! What? I’ve still got, like, a lifetime to do it,”

She scratched her head. “Just make sure that you do it before the deadline,”

“Arrasseo,”

Upon that promise, for the days that followed I could see Se Na keeping a watchful eye upon me. Whenever we would have lunch or any free time together I would catch her looking at me with narrowed eyes, as if searching for something in my soul. Every time I would ask her, “What?” she would just replied with an extra dubious, “Aren’t you forgetting something?” to which I would answer “Um, no? Should I be remembering anything?” upon failing to remember what I had forgotten. To this Se Na always sighed with a bleak “Never mind” and went back to what she was doing.

That Tuesday afternoon I invited Se Na to come over at our house so she could tutor me (ask me what’s one of the greatest foundations of our friendship is, I’d definitely answer tutorial sessions) me on some things that really hurt my brain.

We were having a break in the middle of our tutorial when I told her to wait for me, as I set out to get some food. When I returned, carrying a tray of food, I saw Se Na scrambling back to her seat. “What’s wrong?” I asked.

“Ah? Nothing,” she dismissed, and cleared the table to make way for the food. “Let’s eat,”

I merely shrugged it off, until that Wednesday. It was only by that day did I remember that I forgot to do the homework. As if that wasn’t bad enough, the teacher of that subject was very strict and failure in compliance of requirements was punishable by law. His law.

“Pass your notebooks to the center aisle,” the teacher said, and all the students did as he said. Suddenly I felt the world going down in slow motion as a fuzzy feeling started to well up from the pit of my stomach. Because of procrastination, I forgot to do my assignment. Serves me right.

When all the notebooks were passed in front, the teacher eyed the pile meticulously. Blood rushed to my face when he said, “Looks like someone’s forgotten to pass his notebook,” it was a really long moment before I breathed again. “Well; I’ll find out later. Although for sure someone’s gonna get ferruled tomorrow,”

I gulped. I escaped now, but it was sure as heck that my judgment day was the day next.

The next day, I did not want to go to school. Unfortunately one absence would cost me a bunch of lessons so I went manfully. First thing in the morning, I saw Se Na outside the faculty room, looking up at the door.

“Pyo-pyo!”

She turned; somewhat startled at first, but then she smiled. “Good morning, Jae,”

“What are you doing in the teachers’ lounge?”

“Nothing.” She dismissed. “Hey, c’mon; classes are starting.” And together, we went to the classroom.

I tried my hardest to forget about it but just before that subject’s period Se Na chimed, “I wonder who’s gonna get ferruled today,”

I felt feverish. Soon enough the seonsaengnim entered the classroom. He said he had checked the notebooks; everyone was surprised that he didn’t mention about ferruling someone. Nobody decided to bring this up.

The notebooks were being distributed; each one of us was being called to the teacher’s table to claim our respective notebooks, and in my seat I couldn’t help but jitter.

“Park Soon Ah,”

“Lee Sangbeom,”

“Pyo Se Na,”

The teacher called out, and then the students rose from their seats. I was slowly dying in my chair. Only a few notebooks were left, and it felt like a countdown to my death. If ever I got ferruled Se Na would laugh at me for at least a month.

But much to my surprise, seonsaengnim called—

“Yook Sungjae.”

Did I just…hear my name? But that’s impossible. I did not even pass my notebook. How did that get into his hands?

“Hey, you’re called!” my seatmate nudged me, as the shock hadn’t fully registered yet. Slowly, almost groggily, I rose from my seat, and marched fro to seonsaengnim’s table.

“I must say, Sungjae, that you took the story really seriously,” seonsaengnim remarked with—oddly—a grin. To this I just nodded dumbly, because I impressed him without ever doing anything.

Upon reaching my seat I opened the notebook, and there was a big red mark of an A+ on the corner of the page last written on. I read “my” reaction paper. The wordings were fairly understandable, but it was too excellently written; words constructed to a degree slightly beyond mediocrity. I would gladly declare that this wasn’t my work, except for the fact that the were a bit similar to my handwriting.

Could it be? Could it be that I had done this writing without knowing?

But that was weird. Altogether too weird. Maybe even if I was writing while I was asleep I wouldn’t have written something as cool as this. Whoever had done my homework surely did a good job at forging my handwriting.

As a force of habit, I took a glance at Se Na. When she sensed that I was looking at her she looked at me. Like how she would always say hello, she stuck her tongue out at me, and turned back to the teacher.

When classes were over, Se Na stopped over by my chair before going out. “Kaja?”

“Um. I have to drop by the faculty room to ask Park-seonsaengnim something,”

“No problem; I’ll go with you—”

“—ah, no!” I yelped. “H-how about this. Meet me up at the ramyeon shop near the school.”

“Um. Okay?” she eyed me with bewilderment. “Am I going to order?”

“Nope. It’s on my tab today,”

She grinned. “What’s up?”

I was somehow excited, because maybe—just maybe—I’m right. “Tell you later.”

“Oh, Sungjae-goon. What are you doing here?” seonsaengnim slightly pulled his glasses down, to take a closer look at me, when I stood before him.

“Seonsaengnim, I want to ask you something,”

“What is it, boy?”

I gulped. Before I could get to my point I had to tell the truth first. “Sir, I have to be honest. Yesterday, I…I didn’t pass my notebook. Truth be told, I haven’t done my homework, at all,” I felt a tad better when I said that, but simultaneously I had to prepare myself for the punishment that was to follow.

The monotonic glint in his eyes shifted into a stern one, like the look he would wear when a student did not follow as he said. But I was shocked, for the second time that day, when he said, his eyes glimmering cheerfully a split-second before that, “I know.”

“Sir?”

“I know. How wouldn’t I, when someone else passed it for you? Also, when I checked the notebooks yesterday I didn’t find a notebook owned by Yook Sungjae,”

“B-but…” I stuttered. “Who did my assignment, sir?”

He snickered. “Ah, that’s one thing I cannot tell you,”

“Why not?”

“The person would like to keep its anonymity,”

I wanted to thank that person, really. Very, very much. As seonsaengnim continued to tell the story of how my notebook got into his hands without me passing it, I happened to confirm my suspicions. “Sir!”

“Eh?”

I grinned. “Thank you, sir!”

“For?”

“I know who it is now!” I made my way out of the faculty room. “Also, sir, I’m very sorry; I promise I’ll do my homework myself next time!” when I went out, what I brought with me was seonsaengnim’s bewildered face.

“Guess who?” I giggled, covering my hands on her eyes.

Se Na snorted. “Duh.”

Laughing, I unclasped my hands and sat in front of her. “What would you like?”

“Extra, extra hot jjampong,”

I grinned. “Is that all?”

And I slightly regretted having asked that question, because she practically ordered everything spicy in the menu. My allowance was almost drained, but no regrets, because it’s all worth it.

After eating, while we were walking home, Se Na queried, “What’s the occasion, Jae?”

I smiled. “Nothing in particular,”

She elbowed me. “Come on; you don’t do something as extravagant as this unless there’s a heavy reason,”

“Well…it’s for you,”

“Me?”

“I’d like to thank you.”

“For?”

Grinning, I turned to her. “It’s you, wasn’t it?”

Clueless as she was, she batted her eyes back at me. “Me? What me?”

“You know what I’m talking about,”

Silence fell between us then, as she tried to think of what I was describing. After a while, her head shot up to look at me, alarm in her eyes.

“It was you, am I right?”

opened, but she closed it back. For a moment we just stood there looking at each other. Se Na eyed me with a straight face, but her eyes clearly said it all. Then she looked at something that was behind me, and walked past me swiftly. “This is where I go. See you tomorrow,”

“Oi,” I held her hand, smiling. “Hey, I know. Thanks,”

Her back was on me, so I couldn’t see her face. But as my grip loosened, she finally replied, in a smaller voice, “I’m going home.” And I let her go, because it was already brighter than sunshine that I was right. Her figure walked and walked away then, and while her image slowly receded in the distance, the smile was still on my face, and since then, reading Se Na became even easier.

***

“What, you’ve been standing there for almost an hour and you still haven’t got one?” when I turn my head there is my best friend folding her arms and eyeing me with impatience.

Upon that memory, I suddenly smile, but I reply, “I’m not a girl, you know,”

“Don’t you goofily grin at me like that,” she snorted, marching towards the rack and getting a few boxes of tampons, dumping them on the pile in the cart.

Oddly enough, today Se Na has brought me grocery shopping. After a painstaking process of choosing my wear to conceal my identity (just in case a fan would recognize me) we are here now, buying supplies for Se Na’s home.

“You should really learn, you know,” she sniggers.

“Men have fewer needs, Se Na.”

“Yeah, but what if I’m already invalid to buy my own things, who’s gonna buy them?”

It’s not like that’s gonna happen, right. “Me, of course.” I chuckle. “Hey, I feel like we’re married,”

“Dude, ew.”

“Really!”

“Really!” she mock-imitates my voice; saying it in a falsetto tone while making a face. “Yeah, yeah. Move it, move it, Yook,” she pushes my back with one hand and further pushes me around the store.

On our way home, Se Na asks, “Ah, Jae, how come you weren’t as hyped up as your hyungs when they were trying to prove that I was pna502?”

“Well, I didn’t really care.”

“Really? You don’t care who pna502 is?”

“Um…I’d love to meet her and thank her personally for making a great story, but I guess we won’t ever get to meet her so…yeah. I’ll just leave it alone like that,”

Se Na smiles.

“Besides, that’s what the username is for, right? To shield the writer’s identity?”

“You’re right,” she chuckles. We head home after having bought all the goods, cancelling the plan of an ice cream date because Se Na’s excuse is that she isn’t feeling very well. I badger her into telling what’s making her unwell but she dodges it and merely says that “she can handle it” and that “it’s nothing serious”. Truth be told, as it is a Sunday, we spend the whole day with each other. We cook, eat, play, watch movies, talk, et cetera. It’s actually due to her request that we do this, saying that “she’ll miss times like this” because “maybe one day we won’t get to do it anymore”. When I ask why, she reasons that perhaps we’ll get too “busy” that “we won’t find time”. Se Na’s really weird today, but maybe she’s just PMS-ing or something…?

It’s nightfall when she takes a bath. While she’s in the bathroom I check out her laptop just out of a whim, just to see what she’s working on. When I open it the first thing that I see on the screen is a file of a story she’s last left off, and I’m about to close it when something catches my eye. Lee Bo Mi.

I scan a few lines, but weirdly, not one of the verses seems any familiar. This sure is “The Lunch Box”, but…I think she’s just helping out on the script.

Getting startled when I hear her going out of the bathroom, I instantly shut her laptop and scramble back to my seat, shaken as the discovery had fully registered. Upon the sight of her I immediately think of something to say, because Se Na is sharp when it comes to these things. “W-Where are your pajamas?” I ask her, seeing that she’s only wearing really short shorts. I have to admit, Se Na has somewhat big thighs but she has long legs.

“I ran out of them. I forgot to drop by the laundry cleaners yesterday,” she’s still wearing a robe. A purple robe. With that her height is given even more emphasis. I find myself staring at her (we were kids the last time she showed this much skin in front of me) while she rubs her hair with a towel. I snap back to reality when she says, “You . Stop gawking at me like that,”

“S-sorry,” I stutter, looking away somewhat shyly. When I stare at the fist on my thigh I realize that it’s shaking. All this time, it was her? Even if put in the way that she has a hand in the script-writing, I don’t remember having seen that chapter. What scares me is that I am very sure about this. I just can’t be wrong.

Se Na takes her place next to me, ruffling her head with a hand. “Aish, it’s really cold, isn’t it? I heard the temperature’s already negative outside,”

For some reason, I couldn’t stand being this close to Se Na as of this moment. I feel a sense of…betrayal? I know I don’t have the right to feel that but it strikes me with that sensation. I stand from my seat and slowly take a few steps away from the couch, my back facing her. “Se Na,” I begin.

“Oh?”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Tell you what?”

Here, reluctantly, I turn around to face her, but instead, I find myself staring at her laptop that’s atop a table situated not so far from us.

Se Na pauses, and realizes that I’m looking at something else. She follows the trail of my gaze and looks at it. “You…” she breathes. “You looked at it, didn’t you?”

I somehow wished that I hadn’t, honestly. But I know that look it’s identical to the one she wore when I asked her if it was she who did my homework, years ago. There’s the glum, serious glow, striking me the confirmation.

Quiet settles between us, a somewhat dismal one. I look at her again, and she looks down on her feet, her head angled down, seemingly quite sorry.

And to think she almost got caught just a few days ago…

“Are you going to tell your hyungs that it really is me?” her question sounds monotonic, but careful.

There’s been a whirlwind of emotions inside me ever since I opened that laptop a minute ago, and now that she’s verbalized that, a late, incredulous “oh my god” escapes my lips. My knees suddenly feel jelly and almost give way, but I remain firm in my stance, luckily having succeeded in doing so.

We’re agonizingly quiet for the minute next, as I spend it merely looking at her with a shock, and she’s bowing her head. The silence breaks when my phone rings.

“Yeoboseyo?” I answer, not taking my eyes off of Se Na.

“Sungjae-goon, come to the dorm, quick,” it’s our leader.

“Why?”

“Urgent matter. Just—come here. Fast, okay? I’ll hang up now,” and the call ends, before I can even mutter roger to hyung.

The creepy silence is back again. Se Na looks up at me with mingled curiosity and concern in her eyes. I back away from her, slowly, and say a small “We’ll talk tomorrow,” before going out. The half of my mind is still in a breakdown.