세나: “Jaljayo, Jae,” I give my best friend a bidding smile, and he squeals a little, going back to the living room, seemingly still overwhelmed by the idea that we have finally made up, after several days. I could tell that he was still shy, because he merely peeked in his head in the room and did not give me any good night kiss (we’re like that usually) but I let him with that. What is important now is I can sleep peacefully with a light heart and not going to wake up on the morrow with a heavy chest.

Easily dozing off to sleep, I don’t know how long I’ve been out but despite of my very deep slumber, when the alarm of my phone (which I place under my pillow) rings, I easily wake up, to give Ilhoon-oppa his medicine. I do my giving of his medicine with military precision in time, with nurse-like watchfulness. It’s 3 AM, and I have to give him his meds.

“Hoonie-oppa, wake up,” I lightly shake him from his sleep. Naturally, his primary reaction is to grump, but I keep on coaxing him, and finally, he awakes.

“Yeoboooo,” he moans when he rises, and I put my hand on his forehead to check if he’s still having a fever. Unfortunately he still is; his forehead and neck are dry-hot. He rests his head on my shoulder. I understand. I could even feel again the pain of mumps just by hearing his whimper, and seeing, despite of the barely-illuminated room, his bloated face.

I smile at his silliness. “Your meds, oppa,” I tell him, putting two tablets in my hand; one flu-reliever, the other the antibiotic. He doesn’t budge at first, so I have no choice but to put my hand on his mouth. When he intakes them I follow it with water, and after he chugs he coughs. “Oh, careful,” I smile to ease him a little, though I doubt it would be of little help.

“Se Na-ya…?” he mumbles while I assist him in lying down. “Is that you?”

“Yes, oppa.” I stoop my head a little to hear him easier. “What is it?”

For a while he just shudders under the covers, answering with nothing. I drape the blanket more securely on him. He somehow catches my hand. His hand is trembling. “T-t-the Lunch Box…” he says between chattering teeth.

“Yes, what about it?”

He groans a little when his head is slightly inclined to the right side (that actually really hurts when you have mumps). “It…it’s you, isn’t it?”

At first I don’t get what he’s talking about. But then the realization dawns on me, and though a part of me says impossible, I know what he means. A cold chill passes across my spine. My mouth feels like sandpaper; though obviously the one I’m dealing with here is sick, half-dead with fever, the question just utterly cornered me. I open my mouth to say something, but then I see him already snoring, dozed off once again, a little too soon.

I put my hand on one side of my face and soothe the thin sheen of cold sweat starting to form there. He had already seen it. A long time ago. I swallow, starting to wish that when this fever is over he will forget it. “You’re right,” I say, silently, even careful that he wouldn’t hear it, asleep or awake.

I go back to sleep. I don’t know how long I sleep but when I awake again, it’s fifteen minutes past the fifth hour. I couldn’t make myself sleep again so I decide to make soup for the sick person. I know how hard it is to eat when you have mumps. You can taste the food, yes, even enjoy it, but after chewing, man—all hell will break loose.

I try to utilize with what they have here, and, thankfully, they have the ingredients for mushroom soup. How lucky Ilhoon-oppa is that someone takes care of him now that he’s sick. Because me? I was struggling I thought I was going to die. I stayed at home for the first two days, but when I couldn’t take it anymore, I told my aunt that I was on the verge of dying and that I needed to be confined in the hospital, to which she nonchalantly nodded. She went with me to the hospital (surprise, surprise) but after I was assigned in a room she immediately left. She only went back four days later, when I had to be discharged.

Busy chopping the mushrooms, I’m immersed in my thoughts until I feel something poke my shoulder, and when I turn my head, my cheek is softly stabbed. I yelp, but Penpennie and I both laugh at this.

We talk for a brief while. I won’t mention the part where I almost kiss him, because that was just—ugh, really. I hope he didn’t put malice in that. Sigh.

An hour later, breakfast for the six boys has been prepared by Minhyuk-oppa, and after we all eat I go to the room to feed my patient there.

“Se Na.” I turn my head when Sungjae calls me, and he’s there, leaning on the doorframe with his arms folded.

I raise my brows with a faint hint of smile.

“How is hyung?”

Putting my hand on Jung’s forehead, it’s not that bad anymore. “He’s not having the fever now. I wish I could stay at home to watch him.” I sigh, because when I had mumps the fever was fluctuating. I stoop down to whisper to Ilhoon-oppa that he’s going to eat.

The rapper rubs his eyes and somehow wonders what dimension he is in. I present to him the food tray and invite him to eat. When he sees Sungjae right there by the door, he asks instantly, “You two have made up?”

I nod with a happy smile. “Yes, oppa. Now get cured because we already have,” I playfully threaten him, grasping the spoon. “Here, say ‘ah’,” I blow air upon the spoon of soup and slowly draw it close to him.

Near me, I hear Sungjae cackle.

“What?” I ask him.

“Ah, I’ll eat it, Se Na-ya,” Ilhoon-oppa suddenly says, after the first serve, a little too quickly, like he’s giddy about something.

“You sure?” I query, a little bewildered. “Really, it’s nothing.”

“Ani, ani; go and prepare for the taping today. I’m fine, really,” to further prove his point he manfully eats a spoonful of the soup (with several pieces of mushroom) and says, while chewing the solid components of the food, “See?” but it doesn’t take long for him to almost drop the bowl and hold one side of his face, groaning and writhing in pain.

From my peripheral vision, I could see my best friend almost dying in laughter.

What in the world is going on? “Look at you, you’re a viral mess,” I flatten my eyes at him. “Seriously, just let me—”

“—I’m fine, I’m fine.” He puts a hand in the space between us. Oppa coughs once and looks at me straight in the eyes with an imploring look. “Just…go. I’ll be fine,”

“Are you sure?” I ask again. I know how really hard it is to be sick, especially when no one takes care of you.

Jung Ilhoon the invalid smiles. “Trust me, Se Na. I’ll still be in good shape when you return,”

I nod dumbly. “Okay then…”

“He’s alright, Se Na. Believe me. He’s received enough tender loving care,” Sungjae laughs at me, while I walk out of the room. He looks at Ilhoon-oppa and throws him a mischievous look which I have no idea what it means.

“What kind of dongsaeng are you?” I elbow him, sneering.

“A supportive one,” he winks. The answer doesn’t even make any sense but I decide not to argue. I have more things in mind.

I’ve been caught.

I go home for a while to change clothes, and promised them that I’ll be back immediately.

Before I know it, we’re back in the set again, about to film the third chapter of The Lunch Box, my own story. I get the sheets of paper where the entire chapter is imprinted, and peruse it again, though I knew it’ll be in vain because I myself was the one who wrote this—

She was startled when, all of a sudden, a round of mumbles was heard all around the classroom. As far as she knew, Professor Park never permitted even the sound of a pin’s drop in his class. Bo Mi looked at her teacher who was reading something from his class record.

“Nam Shinye, Kim Taeson.”

That ‘s what he was saying. The heroine quickly looked at where Shinye and Taeson were sitting, and the two were happy about something.

“Moon Jun Ah, Lee Yoon Hee.” Seonsaengnim said.

What in the world was going on?

Bo Mi suddenly felt panicky, not knowing what was going on in the class. She was going to ask her seatmate when suddenly she heard—

“Lee Bo Mi, Peniel Shin.”

For a moment she felt her chest like it was the heaviest thing in the world. When she recovered, very slightly, she gathered her bearings and put a hand on her forehead to wipe away the nonexistent sheen of sweat there. The students were now starting to meet up with their partners, and Bo Mi wanted to tell them wanted to tell them, whoa-whoa-whoa! Wait a minute! I’m still not even ready yet! But she knew she had to face this yet again another trouble. She kept her eyes fixated on the brown surface of her desk, not wanting to see the guy approach her. she buckled herself for the worst. She did a mental countdown. Five, four, three, two…

That was when she felt something tap her shoulder.

Let me die now. She formed in her mind before reluctantly turning her head, only to see her best friend Sungjae smiling down at her with his face a little too close. “Bo Miiiii,”

“What are you doing here? Go to your partner!” she growled, if not barked.

“Oh, why so serious? You look like a dragon, girl! Bo Mi-ya gwaenchana?”

“I just…” she heaved a sigh. “Nothing.”

“Who’s your partner?” Sungjae queried.

“Here.” A different voice answered.

Oh, just when she thought she was saved from the situation!

“O-oh…you’re the new student!” Sungjae happily greeted him, like the usual jolly boy he was. “Hi, my name’s Sungjae!”

“Peniel,” the other guy answered coolly with a smile, proffering a hand.

“Nice to meet you,” Bo Mi’s best friend shook hands with him.

“Same here.” When all the introductions were over, Bo Mi wanted to run. “Ah, Lee Bo Mi…ssi, we’re partners.” The new student channeled his attention to her.

“I know that,” Bo Mi sounded like she was assenting, but in truth she was louring. “Sungjae, who’s your partner?”

“Oh Kyungjun. He’s right there. See you later, Bo Mi-ya!” the childish boy bid, and off he went. Honestly she wanted to go with him.

“Ne, bye,” was what she could only helplessly mutter. Though hesitant, she looked at who her partner was supposed to be. “What are we going to do? I didn’t listen.”

Since the occupant of the seat in front of Bo Mi’s desk was away, the Peniel guy grabbed his chair and sat on it, leaning his torso on the back-rest. He looked like he was this smug guy who was too busy chilling out to care about anything else. “Seonsaengnim said we’d make a diagram.”

“Really? Well he could’ve just assigned that individually,” Bo Mi snorted.

Her partner just smirked. “A schematic diagram. We’re going to make a virtual representation of it. We should be able to distribute all 120 volts of a battery in a single parallel circuit.”

“Fine.” She sighed. Damn you, Physics! She wanted to yell. “When are we going to pass it?”

“Next week, Wednesday. He’s allotted a lot of time for us already. We could work on it over the weekend.”

Now all she wanted to say was a bunch of expletives. Over the weekend? “I…I think I won’t be able to make it,”

“Why so?”

“I…I’m busy during weekends.” She lied.

Her partner gave a lopsided grin while looking to one side. “Busy sleeping, you mean? Why, Bo Mi-ssi, I warrant that no person could ever possibly sleep for a whole two days just to escape some work.” He gave her the look that gave her the chills; his signature self-contented look whenever he had cornered her with either a bribe or a promise, and she had no choice but to bend to his will.

Bo Mi did not know why, but all of a sudden she found this funny that she actually smiled. Her amusement was perfectly reflected in the other guy’s face, and they looked at each other; for a moment, the past became the present.

But unfortunately Bo Mi quickly had awoken from that trance. She cleared , tearing her gaze away from his. “Alright then,” she tilted away, and the other guy also did, looking away, remembering it wasn’t the same now.

“Yes…we could…uh…meet up,”

“Okay. Uh, tomorrow, 10 AM.”

Her partner gulped. “Where are we going to rendezvous?”

“I…” she tried to think faster. “At the…mall?”

“Whose computer are we going to use?”

“Let’s just bring our laptops tomorrow.” Bo Mi looked to the right and let out an impatient grunt. She’s always hated using computers. Except for using it for surfing the internet.

As if having read her mind, the Peniel guy in front of her said, “I’ll ask seonsaengnim if he could allow us to just make a clay diagram of it,”

This was really exhausting Bo Mi’s patience. Why did he have to know everything? “Don’t bother,” she replied, not meeting his eyes.

Just then, the bell rang, signaling the end of the class as well as of the day.

“Alright students, meet up with your partner tomorrow. Have a good weekend!” their professor said, and went out of the room without another word. The students, one by one, also followed the example of their teacher, trooping out themselves.

“Bye,” Bo Mi muttered to her partner and quickly grabbed her bag. If ever her partner had said any response to that she chose not to hear it, and quickly walked out of the classroom.

“Bo Mi, you’re leaving already?” the Peniel guy heard Sungjae as Lee Bo Mi passed by him.

“Yeah, Jae; Minhyuk-oppa is gonna pick me up. On Monday, promise; we’re gonna eat ramyun. Bye-bye,” she waved her hand with a smile.

“Ne; take care!” her best friend replied, and out Bo Mi went.

She was diligently walking the school grounds in a speed that was between fast and slow, having the nagging feeling that she had to get out of the campus as soon as possible. She’s always had this habit of looking down at the ground while walking, that she didn’t see her brother approaching. “Bo Mi-ya!”

The dongsaeng looked up.

“Hey sis,” her Minhyuk-oppa put his hand on her head. “Let’s go?”

“Yeah,” she nodded once. “Kaja,”

The siblings took a few steps before they heard someone call, “Bo Mi-ssi!”

Bo Mi’s partner was running towards them.

Minhyuk’s eyes widened in horror, and it was immediately followed by a wave of anger washing over him.

Though all he wanted to tell his partner quickly was that the seonsaengnim approved of a clay schematic diagram, Peniel fairly came to a stop when he saw who was with Bo Mi.

“You—” Minhyuk took a step forward and was about to charge at him but good thing, his sister was quicker, that she held his wrist. The older brother paid her an outraged look, but she shook her head. Manfully stepping in between them and silently praying that no harm befall upon her intervention, the girl asked Peniel,

“What is it?”

Peniel recovered from his shock. After blinking a few times he told his partner, “I just wanted to say seonsaengnim approved of a clay diagram,”

She was surprised, very pleased, even, but the tension quickly building up was overshadowing her supposed rejoice. So she just looked at him, a curt smile hanging on her lips, “Okay. Thanks,”

“See you tomorrow,” the other nodded, and Bo Mi internally admitted that he didn’t say much more.

Whilst they were walking away, marching to Minhyuk’s car, the brother asked, “What the hell is he doing here?”

She sighed. She didn’t want her internal chagrin to be any more verbally expressed. In truth she also had no idea. “Forget about it,”

The car beeped twice, signaling the unlocking of the doors, and they piled in. “You’re seriously not going to meet up with him tomorrow. Please do tell me that,” Minhyuk said.

“I have to,” Bo Mi sighed, though she was hurt by the concern in her brother’s voice. “Now please, let’s stop talking about it,”

And the car drove away, and the siblings shifted into another topic.

That night as Bo Mi was hunched down in her desk thinking of what she was going to give to her Peminator on Monday, she figured that maybe she could talk to him about that issue. She spent half of her being giving in to this, when, finally, she had enough. She opened her drawer and brought out a white piece of paper and started jotting down a composition.

Monday came.

Peniel Shin opened his locker at lunch time that very Monday, and was delighted to see the blue lunch box he was awaiting. He grabbed it, and was rather excited when he saw the letter on top of it. He took it out of the envelope and read—

“I’m sorry if it’s Omurice again. I was kind of in a bad mood when I was cooking.

Anyway, I hope you don’t mind me talking to you about something? I just…I just needed someone to talk to on this. I had this friend before... well, our friendship ended on a sour note, you see. I…don’t really know what to do. Any word from you?

-          s-bm”

The boy looked up with a sad smile on his face. “I know that feeling.”

I squint one of my eyes in irritation. What even got into me that I put a kiss-scene there? Wait. It’s not like I knew back then that this was the story that was going to be chosen, right. Now I’m starting to regret again my actions; why I even wrote this, at all, why I even decided to become a trainee, and everything else in between.

Now I’m going to have to kiss the guy whom I like.

“Goshdarn it,” I groan, looking up while gritting my teeth, clenching my fingers. Just in time Sungjae passes by me and I grab him.

“Whoa!” he yelps. “What is it?” he asks, fixing the sleeves of his uniform.

“Jae,” I swallow. “What do you think about me having my first kiss?”

For a moment he merely stands there with a slightly agape mouth, trying to make sense out of the words I just said. Then he smirks, and narrows his eyes at me, “You really don’t like it?”

I scratch my head. He’s not helping. “Jae, come on. You’ve known me all your life. What do you think about me having it?”

He thinks for a while. “Well…” I know that despite of that noggin filled with mischief there’s a goldmine of wisdom there. “Professionally speaking, Se Na, you’d have to do this. But since there are feelings here involved…” he looks at someone behind me. I turn my head, and there is his hyung, talking and laughing while being styled by the stylist-eonni.

I look at Sungjae again and snort, “Don’t put it that way.”

“No! Honestly! Face it, Se Na. You like my hyung, right?”

I nod timidly. “Well, yes, but—come on, that’s just a minor crush. Nothing serious,” I wave a dismissive hand.

“The point is,” he puts down my hand and his eyes themselves make me look at him straight. “Yes, you like him. But, have you tried viewing this in a professional light?”

“…I don’t know. Ugh. That makes no difference!”

“I think it does.” He shrugs. “Hyung wouldn’t mind—I mean, most probably, because, after all, this is for us. For the story, that is. Just…just act with what you’re comfortable with, Se Na. Have you asked director-nim about this?”

My shoulders slack. “We have, actually. He says we should.”

My best friend tilts his head. “Good luck, then,”

“Wow, you’re really helping. Gee, thanks,” I make a face at him.

He shakes his head with a smile. “That’s okay, really. I will let him enjoy your lips because they’re going to be mine soon, anyway,” he jokes, laughing.

Something tickles at the pit of my stomach, warming up my face somehow, because the way he put it is just…disgusting. I grouch at him with the muscles of my face distorted to give him the most convincingly-disgusted expression I could wear, kicking him. “YUCK!”

He just sticks out his tongue at me. “See? Now you act like yourself. You were worrying too much,”

“Who wouldn’t get worried when her first kiss is going to be stolen?!”

Sungjae puts his hand on top of my head, stoops down, until his nose is almost going to touch mine. “Assume I’m Peniel-hyung.”

I just stare at him.

“And I’m going to kiss you.”

Knitting my brows, I remain silent.

He draws his head closer, closer, and closer, until I think I’m going cross-eyed looking at his eyes. “Jae, what are you doing.”

My best friend draws out, and spreads his arms to the sides, and grins happily, “See? That’s how cool you are! Now, try applying that during the acting itself.”

I squint my eyes in confusion. “What the hell?”

Sungjae sighs, and puts his hands on my shoulders. “You know, you’re an actress. We  both know that. You have a gift for acting. Now think all of this as just a part of the acting. The show. Do you get my point?”

I make a gesture with my hand that says a little. Though a little discontented, Sungjae tilts his head, and I know what he’s thinking. This will do.

“Are you ready?”

“No.”

“Good. Come, better be comfortable with your leading man,” he winks, and pushes me towards where Penpennie is.

A little later, the worst thing in my life is about to take place. All of the cameras are positioned, all the lights, and now here we are—Penpen and I, standing in the middle of the set, about to shoot the scene we both dreaded the most.

Before I came here I went to Sungjae first for comfort. It’s too much, really. Suffocating, unnerving…ugh. As I look down on the ground I recall my best friend’s words.

“Jae, I don’t think I can do this,” I groaned, shaking his arm.

“What? Of course you can. You’re Pyo Se Na,”

“The flattery isn’t working!!!”

Sungjae smiles tenderly, like how he would do whenever I’m having a bad time, and when I need comfort. I remember clearly, this is how he would smile whenever I’d report to him my aunt’s latest indifferences towards me, back when we were younger. “I wish I could do something about this, Se Na-ya. But this is something you have to go through. Come on; stop making it a big deal. I know it is, for you, but hey—you’re a grown-up now, right? You keep on telling me you’re not a kid anymore. Now show to me that you’re mature and make me proud,”

I feigned sniffing. “But Jae…” oh, how I wanted to take back my words!

“Don’t fret. This is nothing,” he said dismissively, and pulled me in for a brief hug, like the big brother of mine he is. “Think of spicy rice cakes while you’re at it.”

I’d lie if I say that didn’t work.

“Ready?” I look up to see Peniel smiling timidly at me.

Though reluctant, I give him a nod. “Let’s get this over with,”

“Three, two, one; action!”

I start running, with Penpennie chasing me. “Bo Mi!” he exclaims, and I do what I have to do in acting—covering my mouth with one hand, squinting my eyes, and conjuring up tears.

I think of all those times when Sungjae was missing. All of those empty days are enough to make me cry.

“Bo Mi-ya!”

Getting lost in my acting, I lose track of when I should stop. I’m a little surprised when someone grabs my arm, and I yelp, when I’m pushed against a wall.

My acting partner rather looks fierce in doing this scene, it almost makes me scared.

“Please, Bo Mi-ya…” he sighs, bowing his head a little to regain his breath. “Listen…”

I’m still panting and crying. I conjure some more tears, and recall the lines, “Don’t talk to me.” I avoid his gaze. “I hate you,” keeping my voice low and dark.

Peniel does as how the chapter described how his character had in the chapter. He leans in close to me, folding his rested arm on the wall. His face is now just a breath away. “Please.”

I swallow.

“Listen.”

Shutting my eyes, I whine, thinking of all the bitter memories I’ve had just to take out some more tears. “Why…do you really have to?”

He apologizes for more than once, and promises me that he’ll be back again. I can feel our acting getting pretty convincing with every word. I ask him when, but Peniel stops. He’s doing accurately everything I have written. I’m never going to regret choosing him as the lead male.

“Don’t leave me…” I close me eyes, and two teardrops slide down my cheeks. Suddenly I feel warm hands taking possession of my cheeks, and there’s a forehead attached to mine. Slowly, slowly, to make all of this even more convenient, I put my hands on top of his.

I am going to melt anytime now.

“I’m sorry, Bo Mi-ya…” my partner mutters, eyes closed tight.

I’m shaking violently, I can feel it, and I know Penpen knows this too. We’re huddled all too closely for him not to notice. Then, unexpectedly, he does something which I think is intended to comfort me. “Shhh,” he says, and shakes his head slowly.

He’s not consoling Bo Mi.

He’s consoling Se Na.

That’s when a wave of trust washes over my entire being, and I resolve, right then and there, that after all, him getting my first kiss is not that bad. He knows of my trouble. He might not be enduring the same worry as me, but he’s concerned. I avoid the urge to smile, to thank him on the spot for his kindness, and to apologize at the same time for being such a whiney co-actor. I follow his example. Closing my eyes, I prepare myself, for the long, agonizingly-awaited kiss. My first kiss. And it’s going to be with my crush. Though he’s the guy I least expect to share it with, I shake those thoughts away because, second to Sungjae, after all—he’s the one I see whom I could really entrust with something fragile. Eyes screwed shut, I wait for his mouth to envelope mine.

But it doesn’t happen.

Instead, I feel a soft pair of lips land on my forehead, with careful, but easy, sweetness. My eyes slowly open, still not getting what’s going on.

He looks down at me with tenderness in his eyes. As of now he’s looking at Bo Mi, but he’s addressing that look to Se Na. The next thing I know is that he turns on one heel, and walks away, all the while keeping his acting face on.

I stand there stupidly, until my bewilderment is cut short by a loud “CUT!” by the director.

sigh. I thought I did alright in writing this but after much proofreading, I realized IT WAS TERRIBLY WRITTEN. I'M VERY SORRY. I'm in some sort of hurry now. D: sorryyyyy

but a little trivia: THIS CHAPTER'S BEAT THE RECORD OF MY HIGHEST  WORD COUNT!!! with the record of 4 685 words! my highest word count is actually 4 605. 'twas the 9th chapter of Tumbling Dice. okay ignore me. I just feel a little sad with this. K.

a SHOUTOUT TO THE 2 WHO VOTED TO PENNA DURING LAST TIME'S POLL! REVEAL YOURSELVES! LET US HUG ;__;

so? whatcha think of this chapter? tell me! more than any chapter, I need a feedback on this kahfsdkjashsfdsdj

I'll update soon!

-b