성재: Part of my cognizance resurfaces into the real world. Although, it only lasts for a very short while. Finding my current position no longer comforting, I roll in place, now facing the right side. I try to regain my sleep. Upon trying so I fail, that I slightly open my eyes, and that’s when I know the cause why the air feels warmer when I face this side. There she is, with her eyes closed and her lips slightly parted, her breathing mildly audible. Her hands are clasped under her cheek. Her fiery red locks are still bright even without proper lighting; they’re cascading sideways, obscuring slightly her face. Her nose is just a breath away from mine.

“Neomu yeppeodaaa,” I chuckle, silently. I tuck her hair behind her ear so she could breathe easier. I check the time on a clock nearby. 4:00 AM. I slightly panic when I realize that today’s my exam, but knowing that I’ve reviewed well and my tutors have taught me perfectly, I’m eased. A little later my eyes get droopy again, and I fall asleep.

I could say that the exam was a bit hard, but it’s that kind of hard that you could still answer. I’m pretty confident because I’ve answered them all; that makes me proud, and I hope it makes Se Na proud too.

“Come on, hyung! We’re still going to eat out after this!” I make a hand motion at Ilhoon-hyung telling him to move faster.

“Coming, coming,” he sighs, however with a smile.

There I easily see her, and the world goes down in slow motion. A delicious pang of delight surges through me that I run towards her, and I sort of crash against my best friend, exclaiming “Se Na! I did it! I did it!”

“Oh my goodness…you did well?” She feels frozen at first, but she hugs me back. “That’s great!” but there are people around us, I realize this late, that Se Na has to withdraw from me.

For a moment I question what they’re doing here, but I recall why because Jongup-sunbae comes to us. Se Na…she…has friends from other bands too? When she was still our coordi, at the backstage of music shows we’ve introduced her to our friends in VIXX (there was this hilarious short tale of her mistaking N for me; that she called him ‘Jae’) but she didn’t strike that much friendship with them…in fact even though Ravi found her exceptionally pretty and rather fancied her, and they have conversed for more than once, Se Na wasn’t like that. With Zelo she seems…closer? And it’s not just any close; it’s like they’re old acquaintances. Turns out that Se Na met him when we were out of the country, when we were in Singapore.

That Saturday we resume our taping for The Lunch Box, and as far as I can see, I’m not the only one who enjoys the way this story is going. I can’t wait to see how Bo Mi is going to reveal this backstory of hers with Peniel. The pain that she’s been hiding all this time, and recently, from Sungjae, her best friend, himself. There are just times when I can’t help put myself in Sungjae’s shoes. That is, the Sungjae in this story. What would I do if Se Na hides something from me? Heh, I’d probably just figure it out immediately. Or that’s unless she conceals it from me excellently, and lie.

“Aish, I can’t memorize my lines no matter what I do!” I groan, during break time.

“Oh? Did you try hard enough?” Eunkwang-hyung asks.

I sigh. “I did, hyung, but…”I get lost in thought, staring at the spoon where my reflection is inverted.

“Come on,” I feel something smack my shoulder all of a sudden. “You know you can’t possibly go on acting without knowing your lines, right?” Se Na says, concerned but stern.

“Yeah, it’s just that…I think I can’t…” thinking too much about this makes the bibimbap before me seem less inviting.

Se Na gets a chair, sits beside me, and closes her head in to see the spoon. “What is this?” she asks, and if I may add there’s aegyo in it.

“Why, Se Na, that’s a spoon,” I answer blankly, in no mood for humor.

She elbows me. “I know, silly. I was asking, what is this?”

“What…is…this?” I a brow.

“What kind of reflection is this?” my best friend points the spoon.

“Um. Inverted,”

“And what type of mirror would this face of the spoon be?”

“Concave…?”

“Good,” she leans back on her chair and folds her arms. “Did you memorize that when you were studying for your exam in Physics?”

“Um…not really memorize…I just…familiarized myself with the terms and studied what they mean and how they function…” I answer slowly, because I don’t get where this conversation is going.

Se Na nods. “And do you know how The Lunch Box flows? Do you really know the story?”

“Of course,”

“Do you know what’s happening in the scene?”

“I—yeah. Of course I do,”

“Then what’s so hard about memorizing your lines?”

I stop. Nearby, I hear my hyungs’ snicker. Indeed, she has a point.

Seeing that I can give no smart reply to what she said, Se Na just ignores my dumbness and snatches the spoon from my hand. She gets the steel bowl of bibimbap and gathers the food in it. “Well there’s a point why there’s a script, Yook…you should really follow it. But no one ever said that you ought to follow it one hundred percent. Memorize it the best you can, but don’t pressure yourself. Aaaand,” on the spoon there’s a clump of red rice and she gestures serving it to me. “When it comes to the acting itself, if you haven’t memorized it all, use synonyms. I mean, things that are closely alike to the lines on the script. As long as it means the same and what you say doesn’t get in the way of the story, that’s fine,” she puts the spoon in my mouth, and I slowly chew the bibimbap. “Got it?”

“Hmm-mm,” I nod, putting a hand on my mouth.

“Good.”

After I swallow, I say, “How come you know that?”

“Please. Even after you left before I completely abandoned school I was still a part of the theatre club. I’m oftentimes the director, and that’s the advice I give the talents,”

“Does it work?”

Se Na winks. “Why don’t you find out?”

And in fairness to the advice, it is quite effective, since not putting so much pressure on me is what I need to be able to memorize the lines. Ah, I do forget some of the lines, but what I say during shooting is precise, and the director seems to have very little problem with it.

As the next day is a Sunday, there’s no work. The day is somewhat lackluster, but had it not been for a surprise visit, it would be totally dull.

We’re eating our brunch, somewhat noisily, and all of a sudden we’re disturbed by the repetitive, raucous sound of the doorbell. “I’ll get it,” I declare, being the first one to rise. When I open the door, I’m quite shocked, seeing her stand there. Sure, we’re like, just in one area—Chungdamdong, but she doesn’t come here unless invited. The first thing I say to her, unintentionally rudely, “Mind telling me what you’re doing here?”

Se Na eyes me with a lazy frown. “None of your business,” she brushes past me, removes her shoes, and hails once she’s inside, “Desserts for everyone!”

All my hyungs loudly cheer, disrupting the good meal.

“Omo! You even bothered, sweetie!”

“Se Na-ssi, what’s the occasion?”

“Are you celebrating something?”

Query my hyungs, while they swiftly clear the specimens on the table to make way for the various desserts my best friend has brought. Se Na reasons that she got really bored at home, and that she thought of paying us a visit and she bought food on the way here, so we wouldn’t have the heart to not let her in.

“That’s crazy,” Minhyuk-hyung laughs. “Of course we’d let you in,”

Se Na just grins at her own joke. “What’s up for today, oppa?”

“Hmm, let’s see. We’re going to have a general cleaning today, and there’s a meeting this afternoon. We’ll just see if we can still go to church today…”

“I’ll help in the cleaning!” her arm happily shoots up in the air.

“Are you sure? But…” Eunkwang-hyung tries to reason, but his voice is drowned in the background when I notice the aura of the guy sitting beside me.

“Donggeun-hyung? What’s wrong?”

He wears a weak smile and he merely shakes his head.

“Hyung, malhaebwa. What’s the matter? Why aren’t you eating?”

“Nothing’s wrong, Sungjae.”

In a split-second there, I catch Se Na looking at us, but she quickly looks away. “Would you like a strawberry yogurt, hyung?” I offer him.

“Aniyo. I’m full already,” it’s heartbreaking to admit, but hyung doesn’t want to talk now. Pretty sure that he’s going to tell me soon, I give it up and just let him be.

“Does it taste good?” Se Na stoops down to take a closer look into my fourth strawberry yogurt, a little later.

“Definitely,” I nod, the perimeter of my lips. “Want some?”

“You’re going to give me?”

“Why not?”

Se Na grins and opens .

“Say ‘ah’,” I urge, and put the food in .

She savors it. A few seconds later, she smiles. “Oh, it’s yummy,”

“Told you so,”

After she swallows, “Wait a minute.” She eyes me, the distance between her brows decreasing. “Wasn’t that your spoon?”

I look at what I’m holding. “Uh…yeah,”

Her eyes widen, “Whoa,” and she starts to laugh. “Oh my goodness, Yook Sungjae!”

I find myself gasping at the realization too. “Omo-oh my gosh-what the—heol! Oh my gosh! Waaaaaaaaaaaa!” I myself laugh, at this accident. “Se Na!” the two of us chortle, louder and louder each second, until the entire dorm is filled with our laughter, making the hyungs look at us.

“What’s so funny?” Hyunsik-hyung asks, the corners of his lips turning upward, as laughter is contagious.

“Oh my goodness—” Se Na tries to regain her breath, only to fail miserably.

I cover half of my face, still not getting over it. “Aigoo, I never thought this day would come!”

“These kids finally lost it,” Ilhoon-hyung grins at us. “Seriously, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing!” Se Na falls on the floor next to me, and hides her face behind my arm. She’s still shaking uncontrollably from laughter.

“Sungjae-ah, what happened?” Kwangie-hyung a brow, his bewilderment eclipsed by a smile.

“Se Na—and I—oh gosh,”

“It was your fault, you babo!” Se Na slaps my back.

“What, me? You asked for it!”

“Aigoo…these kids…” Changsub-hyung says.

“Se Na, what happened?” seconds another hyung.

My best friend takes a huge ball of air and blurts in one breath, “Sungjae stole my first kiss!”

“Mwoya; we didn’t kiss, silly!” I protest, though I myself know that that was what really happened.

“That’s just as equal!” she sticks out her tongue at me.

“Sungjae?!” my hyungs interject altogether.

“This is so embarrassing!” I cover my face, though I’m too busy laughing at our little blunder to feel any embarrassment at all.

“If you’re embarrassed, try putting yourself in my shoes! I’m the girl here!” she shakes her head vigorously.

“W-w-wait, one-minute version? We don’t understand anything!” says squirrel hyung.

“Ah, oh my gosh,” I breathe in, breathe out. “You see, hyung, Se Na asked if—” I exhale. “If the strawberry yogurt tastes good, and she asked for some, and I forgot to change the spoon,” having exclaimed myself, there’s a collective amount of mouth-covering and face-palming among my hyungs.

“Sweetie, are you alright?”

“I’m fine! Just got robbed!” Se Na’s still ecstatic.

“Aaah, aigoo,” I sigh, my laughter subsiding. “Aigoo. I haven’t laughed like that in a long time,”

“Me too,” she eventually sighs, putting a hand on my shoulder for support, the other on her stomach. “Jaejae, I am never going to forget this day,”

“Me too…but you don’t mind, right? Since it was just an accident,”

“Believe me, as much as I want to, there’s nothing I can really do about that now,” she grins. “Should I count that as my official first kiss, though? That was an indirect kiss,”

“I don’t know, you decide.” I giggle. When I look at my hyungs they’re blushing for some unknown reason.

“Alright. Just don’t forget to change spoons the next time,” is the only remark we get from Eunkwang-hyung, and he tells us to start the house-cleaning.

For the rest of the day my hyungs act oddly; not significantly but just enough for me to notice it. They seem to be a bit shaken about something that I’ve no idea what, but I feel certain about it.

“Sungjae!” I happen to confirm this when Minhyuk-hyung asks me to run an errand. “Kindly buy four bottles of disinfectant from the store down the road,” he says, handing me a wad of banknotes.

Se Na happens to pass by and instantly volunteers, “I’ll go with Jaejae!”

“Huh…?” Minhyuk-hyung blinks, clearly uncertain. “I, well…Se Na, Sungjae can take care of himself,”

“I want to buy something!” she pouts and puffs her cheeks (probably she doesn’t know this herself that she looks cute doing this), and Minhyuk-hyung fights the urge to groan at the aegyo.

Nearby, someone throat-clears and we all turn to Eunkwang-hyung. “Se Na, come here, I need to ask you something,”

“What is it, oppa?” she trudges towards him, and leader-hyung eyes me, go. And I think I have no choice but to follow. Besides, we’re in a hurry because we still have an appointment later.

“What can we cook with these here? Can you make soup with these?” he points a certain clump of vegetables that are on the brink of being spoiled.

“Ppali, ppali,” Minhyuk-hyung says to me. “Ka,”

“Arrasseo,” they’re not really like this. No, wait, they haven’t done this before. Not letting Se Na and I go somewhere together. Or maybe except for that time that I wanted to ask Se Na out on a date at dawn; well that was finely-understood, but now…what’s with them?

Since there are a lot of us helping hands in cleaning the dorm, we finish after three hours. Though tired, we have to get ready for our meeting with the President today.

One thing that I notice today is that Donggeun-hyung and Se Na aren’t talking. I observe intently, and never did the two exchange a word and were merely passing by each other. However, what’s happening right now is seemingly the opposite of what happened before. Now hyung doesn’t want to talk to Se Na, whilst the girl is dying for some attention. Hyung seems tired today; come to think of it, he started acting like this ever since the other day.

I admit, we do an awful lot of things this day. It’s like it isn’t Sunday at all. With the general house-cleaning, the meeting with the president, and everything else in between, we’re really tired when evening comes.  As much as we want to stay up late (we’re accustomed to doing this) Kwangie-hyung tells us we ought to sleep because we still have shooting tomorrow, and we're compelled to do so.

***

“Aish, here it is again,” I frown, looking down at the highlighted lines on the paper.

“What’s wrong?” asks Se Na without looking, who stands not so far from me.

“Here come the long lines again,”

“Which part is that?”

“This…” I take a look. I would gladly familiarize myself with this, if only it made sense. “This narration that doesn’t make any sense,”

“Let me see?” I give her the paper and she knits her brows. “Jae, this is an excerpt from a classic,” she snorts, disappointed.

“Classic?”

“Classic novel.”

“I—I mean, the author, used an excerpt from a classic novel. See, it was just translated. ‘It was the best of times, it was the worst of times; it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness; it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity…’”

“What’s an epoch?”

“It’s a collective noun for a span of time in the Geological Time Scale,”

“Oh.”

“Can you memorize this? This one needs memorization,”

“I know, but…”

“But have you familiarized yourself with it?” Eunkwang-hyung, abruptly appearing, grins to motivate me.

“I have, but it’s too detailed…”

“No problem; we’ll coach you!” hyung gets a chair and sits.

“Oh, oh, I’ll help!” Ilhoon-hyung, Hyunsik-hyung, and Changseob-hyung get themselves chairs and sit in front of me; like I’m a one-man show in a theatre.

“But…but…”

“What’s happening?” Minhyuk-hyung walks in, noticing the commotion.

“You read the part where Sungjae saved Bo Mi in recitation, right?”

“Ah, yeah…I like that part. That was sweet…”

“Maknae’s memorizing the lines. He’s going to give us a sample!”

Se Na, who’s standing behind them, gives me a confident thumb-up.

Scratching my ear, I recall what the lines are. I hand Eunkwang-hyung my script. “’It was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness; it was the spring of hope…’” I mumble under my breath.

“You ready?”

I hesitantly nod.

“With the ‘cool guy’ acting okay. That’s what the scene suggested. Okay, start!”

Clearing my throat, I recite, “Let me help, Miss Lee, sir,”

My hyungs smile.

“’It was the best of times, it was the worst of times; it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness; it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of…’” I inhale. Here Se Na aligns herself with the hyungs, standing beside Minhyuk-hyung. ‘Incredulity. It was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness; it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair; we had everything before us…’” wait. What’s next? I think the guy who wrote this was comparing something.

I breathe, as my hyungs eye me with expectation. I don’t want to disappoint them! We’re going to shoot this later and I ought to have memorized this by then. Panic starts to overtake my mind, until a voice  rings out, nonchalantly but there’s assurance in it—“’We had nothing before us; we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way—in short, the period was so far like the present period…” Se Na. She knows? Wait. She even memorized it? She looks straight at me with seriousness, folding her arms, holding no paper of reference whatsoever. My hyungs turn in synch at her, somewhat awed.

“’…That some of its noisiest authorities…” I smile, finding my lips moving along with her words. And we start to chant together, sharing a smile, “’Insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only.”

A short respite comes after that, and I sigh. All my hyungs turn their heads from me to Se Na; back and forth, back and forth, like they’re watching a tennis match.

“So you know now?” Se Na smirks at me.

“I…uh…”

“You know it. You just let panic overtake you,”

“W-wait, sweetie, how come you memorized that?”

“Huh? Well…I just really happened to memorize it, oppa. Is that a bad thing?”

“Oh, ani, ani! It’s fine, of course!”

She shrugs. “Well then,” she proceeds to what she does there in one corner of the room; arranging stacks of papers.

“Shall we try again?”  Eunkwang-hyung suggests, and I comply.

When the shooting ends, and ultimately the day also, I’m the one taking Se Na home. The hyungs strongly disagreed, but I just laughed and assured them that nothing considerably odd will take place. Before they could utter another word I  grab Se Na and together, we ran to the exit.

“When was the last time you walked me home, Jaejae?”

“I don’t remember…last-last week? Monday?”

She nods. “I missed this.”

“Missed what?”

“You know, you and me, alone, like that day you whisked me off from Busan. And we felt like the world was against us,”

“Oh…why’d you miss it?”

“I don’t know,” she shrugs. “I just get the feeling. But whenever I remember…it makes me happy. Happy in a sad way,”

“Why?”

“I only had you for a friend during that, and I meant like the world to you, you know. But then you got busy, and eventually me too, and now I have other six boys that treat me as their sister…” she looks dreamily through space. “My world’s gone bigger now,”

Now that she’s said that, it makes me sad too. “Tell me something, Se Na,”

“What is it?”

“Do you like Zelo or any of his bandmates?”

She looks at me weird, and immediately answers, “Of course not. Why, are you jealous?”

“Not really,”

“Eyy,” she elbows me cheekily. “Jaejae’s jealous!”

“Cut it out,” I hiss.

“Don’t worry; I’m still your fan,”

“Be true to your word.”

“Sure will.”

Shifting to another topic, I say, “You know what Se Na, sometimes I’m confused about who’s standing before me sometimes,”

“What are you talking about?”

“I mean, you. Sometimes I’m confused whether it’s Se Na or Lee Bo Mi standing before me,”

Se Na laughs. “That’s ridiculous. Why?”

“It’s just that…you and Bo Mi are really alike in character. She even seems to have your opinions,”

“E-eh? Really?”

I bob my head. “Yeah. Only she’s a tad clumsier than you, and she’s so problematic. While you…”

“So you’re saying, I look like I have no problem?”

“Um, yes. Besides, you’d tell me if you had one,”

“U-uh…my, my, here, so you won’t have so much trouble figuring out,” she takes my hand to stop me from walking. “So you’ll know I’m Bo Mi, I’ll do this,” she holds her left ear and softly tugs it down. “Arrasseo?”

“We can use this during practice,” I grin.

“You’re right,” she giggles. “And, so you’ll know when I’m reverting back to Se Na, I’ll do this,” she puts her hand on her lower neck—the area where her collarbones should be, and soothes it with her fingers, softly rubbing it.

I chuckle. “Really, I was just saying. You took it too seriously,”

She swats my argument off with a dismissive hand. “Heh. Who knows; it might come in handy someday,”

I shake my head with a smirk, and ask her, “Come, ride on my back,”

“Again?”

“Yeah. I haven’t gone to the gym these past  few weeks, I need to carry some weights,”

She frowns, and kicks me on the shin.

“Kidding!” I chortle. I kneel before her, my back facing her. “Come on,”

“Fine,” With a sigh, she mounts my back, and I carry her to her home.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I'LL BE YOUR SHOULDER STRAP AND YOU CAN BE MY BACKPACK ლ(ಥдಥ ლ)

I'VE BEEN REPEATING THE SONG FOR LIKE 134876351667738123 TIMES SINCE THE RELEASE

AND THE MV

THE MV

IS SO 

B E A U T I F U L

AND THE LINES WERE DISTRIBUTED VERY WELL! EVERYONE GOT TO SING! 

I'm sorry for spazzing here. anyway here's an update!

I HAVE A QUESTION!

WHO CAN GUESS THE TITLE OF THE BOOK FROM WHICH PNA502 GOT THE EXCERPT ?

first one to answer correctly gets a kiss from PenJae. HAHA XD

for the readers that were like o.O when they read that SeJae + inverted-reflection-the-spoon part, my apologies if you haven't stepped into that topic yet...and if you can't relate? .__. uh...honestly that's one of my favorite lessons in my favorite subject. uh, Physics. huehauehauehauehue^^

ok I'll just go back to crying over Peniel's backpack and Sungjae's baguette and Changsub's legs and IM FREAKING HYUNSIK AND EVER EVERYONE IN BETWEEN

*goes back to dying*

bbyong

-b