프니엘: “She’s shy,” Sungjae whispers to me with seriousness. Maybe this is how she just reacts. She’s shy? About what? Not knowing what to say next, I just smile, and walk away, sad.

This continues to happen for the days that follow. Se Na avoiding me, that is. Every time our eyes would meet she’d immediately look away, and I try for more than once to ask her what’s wrong, but it’s either she’s using her work to make herself seem busy, or she uses one among the members for a human shield.

“Se Na!” Ilhoon suddenly puts his arm around Se Na’s shoulders, when we’re making our way to the set.

 “What?” The girl just looks at him with a knitting of the brows.

“What do you say we go out?”

“Out? Why does everybody want to ask me out?” she grumbles, and nods once. “Okay. When?”

“Tomorrow night.” My dongsaeng grins. “You free?”

“Of course.”

“Good.” I could feel Ilhoon’s personal cloud 9 hovering over him. “Because I just want to repay your kindness for taking care of me. And I figured you needed a holiday,”

Se Na just shrugs. “Tomorrow night it is, then.”

And so the evening of the morrow comes, and though Ilhoon just acts normal, everyone can sense that he’s happy as crazy. For more than ten times that evening he constantly changes his choice of what to wear, prepares key words for a conversation-starter, that Sungjae couldn’t help but laugh at him. He gives him advice that Se Na doesn’t fancy formal dinners that much, all she wants is just a simple meal on probably a noodle house; that spicy food should never be forgotten in their date. Sungjae tells Ilhoon that Se Na is demanding, but only when it comes to food.

“I’ll be going. See ya,” the beau finally sorts out to go. As I look at him while he closes the door, I try to imagine how it would be like to be in his shoes. Probably great.

Although a lot of chances is offered that Se Na and I would talk again, obviously, she’s not interested in taking them and every night I couldn’t almost sleep wondering why she doesn’t want to talk to me. Women are such complicated puzzles, aren’t they?

Alas, the day of departure comes. While we drive to the Incheon airport the car isn’t exactly silent, as Minhyuk-hyung keeps on telling Se Na to “behave while we’re not around” and that she should “not stay out late”, and to “not get into any accidents again”. Se Na just laughs at the last one, but all in all, she acts and nods like a docile child.

Se Na having taken my seat, I’m forced to sit with the hyung-line in the second row in the car—that is, now I’m sitting with Minhyuk-hyung, Hyunsik-hyung, and Changsub-hyung (Eunkwang-hyung sits at the front seat beside Yonghyun-hyung). The car halts when we’re at the airport, and everyone slowly piles out.

“Bye, Se Na! Take care!” Eunkwang-hyung is the first one to get down. Everyone else gets down, bidding Se Na their goodbyes. Se Na isn’t allowed to get down from the van due to the fans. Someone might see her and give a different color to our relationship with her, right? Not that we’re concealing Se Na from them (a pretty good amount of the fanbase is familiar with her already), we just don’t want any unwanted feedback.

I don’t get down yet. I’m at the far end of our seating arrangement (next to the window) so I should be the last one to get down.

Sungjae gets down first before turning to Se Na. “Will you be alright here?” he asks.

His best friend nods eagerly, smiling. When I look at Sungjae I could imagine how much he’s going to miss her. He’s put on that face that I’d catch him wearing before, before Se Na came. Then I figure it out. All those times when he’d suddenly fall into melancholy, it’s Se Na that he’s thinking about? “Go,” Se Na taps his back. “Bye, Jaejae.”

“I’ll be back.” The male promises with absolute resolve.

She wears this of course you should face. “You better.” And they exchange waves, and Sungjae walks away.

“Donggeunni, ppali, ppali,” Changsub-hyung flaps his hand while he wears his bag, and walks away first.     

“Ne,” I nod. Giving a curt nod at Se Na without looking at her eyes I hold on to the rests of our chair to aid me in getting down, “Bye, Se Na.” and I’m startled when suddenly someone grabs my wrist. I snap my head to where the hand comes from and Se Na looks at me sheepishly.

“Ey,”

I suppress a smile from escaping my lips. “Hey,”

“I’m sorry.”

“For?”

“You know.”

“I don’t know what it is. Can you tell me?” I tease. This is the least payment I could make her do for all those days of agony.

Se Na’s ears turn pink. “I’m sorry. I just felt embarrassed after what you did.”

“I embarrassed you?” I gasp. “Omo. Sorry.”

“No-no-no,” she vigorously shakes her head. “It’s…well. You really stuck out your neck for me. I didn’t know how I could ever repay you, so…I…I was…”

“There isn’t really a need to repay me, you know that?” I lean forward to her, my chin on the top of the seat. “And I don’t see why you’re fussing over it too much. I did that to respect you. Weren’t you the one that made me promise that we’d still be friends, no matter what happens in front of the camera?”

As if automatically, her hand covers . I let her formulate an intelligent reply for this, but there’s no time. I’m in a hurry.

“It’s okay, really. No need to be shy.” I chuckle. Probably my heroic deed made her have a crush on me? Oh, me and my charms. “I’ll be going.”

But I am grabbed again, and, just like what she did to Sungjae, she pecks me on the cheek. “Thank you.”

I try to hide my embarrassment with a smirk and brief laugh. “My pleasure. Bye,” and I get down from the car, waving back at her before facing the direction ahead.

I ride the plane with a smile on my face. As usual I sit next to Sungjae, and once I’m seated, he smirks at me, “So you’re peace-be-with-you-and-also-with-you now?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s great. You two were killing me, you know that?” he laughs. “How’d she say goodbye to you?”

“Ah, you know…she said sorry for avoiding me for no reason, this and that…”

“And?”

“You nosy kid. Well that’s it.”

“Oh, hyung. You two are so cute.”

I don’t really get it why Sungjae loves to push his best friend to me. Figuratively, yeah. Because, certainly, it’s brighter than sunshine that the two of them are the compatible ones, right?

It’s evening when we arrive at Singapore. As soon as the plane lands we head straight to the hotel. Tomorrow there will be a press conference. Actually we’re here to participate in a concert event where a lot of groups are to perform too. When we reach the hotel we plan out how the room assignments would be, and it results as: in one room, there’s me, Sungjae, and Minhyuk-hyung; in the other two rooms the pairings are Hyunsik-hyung and Changsub-hyung, and Eunkwang-hyung and Ilhoon. To update our fans of our whereabouts I decide to go online immediately, tweeting an update that we’ve arrived safely at Singapore.

While I’m at it, I hear Minhyuk-hyung and Sungjae giggling on the bed next to where I sit. “You look silly!”

“True!” Sungjae laughs. “Here, there’s one more picture of it,” he sweeps his finger across the screen of his phone.

Minhyuk-hyung laughs again. “Ahh, men, I hope she’s alright there.”

“She should be.” The younger male falls into some deep form of sentiment, and, after a moment of silence, hyung asks—

“Sungjae, do Se Na’s parents know that she’s in Seoul?”

Here I look at Sungjae’s face. He seems hesitant. “Hyung…there’s a long story behind this…”

The sudden change of mood strikes hyung. “What is it?”

“It’s…too personal.”

“Can you tell?”

“Se Na wouldn’t like it.”

“Well she wouldn’t know if you don’t tell her that you told me,” Minhyuk-hyung chuckles a little. He’s right, though.

The other swallows. “Se Na…her parents...are gone.” It’s obvious that he’s taking effort in telling this story, apparently. “They died when she was still three. She was left under the custody of her aunt, but…”

“But her aunt never really cared for her,” I say, without thinking.

The best friend snaps his head at my direction. He looks confused, but he continues, “And…I’m…her only friend…”

Minhyuk-hyung darts his gaze from me to Sungjae.

“Hyung, you know?” maknae widens his eyes at me.

I nod, and for some reason I feel internally proud. “She told me.”

“When?”

“Uh. When you had a fight,”

“Say something that I can relate to, guys,” Minhyuk-hyung breaks our talk, gesturing with his hands as if he’s pushing the air down.

Sungjae is the first one to break out of our staring contest. “That’s pretty much it, hyung,” he clears his throat when he faces him back.

“So you’re saying, Se Na’s a lonely kid?”

“Not exactly. She has me.”

“But please do tell me. Her aunt doesn’t harass her in any way?”

“No.” Sungjae looks down at the screen of his phone, and locks it. “Ahjumeoni just regards her with indifference. She only gives her what she needs, except for love and care. And past tense. Harassed.”

“Past tense?”

“Ever since I brought her to Seoul, she’s cut off her ties with her aunt.”

“You mean, you…like, you…” hyung somewhat rolls his hands in front of him, in trials of an explanation. “It’s like…you and Se Na ran away?”

“Not exactly.” This is the part that Se Na hasn’t told me about. So I listen to the epilogue of her story, which now comes from Sungjae. “Ahjumeoni herself told me to go, take her away. Because even though Se Na would stay there in Busan, there was no one who’d take care of her.”

“Why doesn’t her aunt care for her, anyway?” hyung knits his brows. “Shouldn’t she, in the first place?”

The urge to tell the back-story is overpowering. But I know that I am not the one in the place to tell, so I let Sungjae. He’s the one worthy. “Hyung, just promise me.” maknae’s seriousness makes hyung see how sacred this is. “You’ll never tell Se Na that I told you.”

Minhyuk-hyung raises his hand. “Okay. I promise.”

“It’s like this. Se Na’s mom and Ahjumeoni….they’re half-sisters. Ahjumeoni has always been bitter toward Se Na’s mom; they were only civil towards each other. “

“So who’s—?”

“Se Na’s mom.” Yook clarifies. “Ahjumeoni never told her right in her face that she was an illegitimate child, but neither did she love her,”

Minhyuk-hyung bobs his head. “But at least Se Na grew up to be a good child, right?”

Like a proud dad, Sungjae smirks. “By nature, a little less. Se Na’s a little mean, you know that?” he laughs. “But by breeding, yes. Good thing I was there. And my mom, too,”

“Oh.”

He lolls on the bed, and looks up at the ceiling. Se Na, Se Na. Always Se Na. “She once said she couldn’t imagine life without me,” followed by a laugh.

“Aw, cheesy,” hyung nudges him.

“It’s true, though. Do you think we’re gonna end up together?”

“Why not?” hyung shrugs. “There’s a big chance. Since, you know, she’s your princess, and you’re her prince…”

“But what if, hyung,” Sungjae is in a trance. I’m a little surprised when Sungjae pays me a look for the fraction of a second. He says something which disturbs us greatly. “She’s the princess, but I’m just her…knight?”

***

My handphone on the table, I keep on looking at it thinking as there is an itching sensation travelling all across my system that says give Se Na a call, you know you want to. Even though I try to shut it up it keeps on getting back, and the more it does, the more I want to give in. It’s the middle of the day and we’re just done with the press conference; now we’re back at the hotel. Later will be the rehearsals for the concert and I might not have the chance to talk to her. Finally getting fed up with all these annoying urges, I pick it up from the table, and dial Se Na’s number.

Unfortunately, though…

“Hello, you have reached the line of Pyo Se Na. Yours truly is a little busy now, so you know what to do after this—!”

 Beep!

I swallow.  Actually I haven’t rehearsed about what I want to say. I was fussing over the want to talk to her too much, I realize I actually have nothing to bring up for a talk. So I speak, consuming my efforts, and say—

“Se Na-ya. How are you? I wanted to talk to you but since you’re busy…oh well.” What next? “You’re alright, right? How is that essay you told me about? You know, that high school kid made you do? Anyways…we’ll be having our rehearsals later. Tomorrow night will be the concert. I’m sure Sungjae will tell you how everything will go, haha. And, oh, just a few more days and we’ll be back. We’ll be back on the 13^th, as promised! Take care! This has been your Penpennie, bye!” when I press the ‘end’ button I automatically heave a sigh, not knowing I didn’t even pause to breathe even just for a single syllable. Well at least I feel better now, right?

That night, or should I say the next morning, we get back to the hotel at 2 AM. We take turns in going to the shower. After I go in Sungjae comes next, and I see on his bed a thick stack of papers , book-bound. Out of mere curiosity I take a look at the page where Sungjae last left off. “Hyung, what’s this?” I ask Minhyuk-hyung who’s rubbing his head with a towel.

“Ah, that? Se Na’s works.”

“These? All of these?” I ask, when I notice that it’s a compilation of her works. Whoa, so many!

Hyung nods, while he wears his pajamas. “Yeah. Obviously Se Na loves writing that much, don’t you think?” he chuckles, but I’m not able to respond to him, as I am already busy perusing a single-chapter story. I’m already getting near the when Sungjae goes out of the bathroom. When he sees I’m reading—

“Hyung!” he dives on the bed with only his bathrobe on. His torso’s covered the entire book so I can’t see anymore. “Stop reading!”

“What? Why?”

“Se Na told me not to let anyone read this!”

I decrease the distance between my brows, asking, “Why so?”

“She’ll get embarrassed!”

Finding this incredibly funny, I laugh, “Sungjae, I’ve seen a lot of Se Na’s writings already. Hiding this one doesn’t make any significant difference.”

So he gets my point, that he gets up.

“And put on your clothes, seriously.”

“Oh well…” he sighs. “She wouldn’t know.”

Oh you got that right. So I continue to read. Not only this single-chapter story, but a lot of other ones, until I finish reading five single-chapter proses, not to mention three poems. Something in Se Na’s writing makes me feel a vague sense of familiarity, associated with something that I can’t remember. I think about it deeply, but I couldn’t figure it out. And then, just when Sungjae tells me to give back the book to him because we’re going to sleep, something clicks inside me. I realize what it is.

“Do all writers write in a single way or are they all unique?” I hatch the question.

“What?” Minhyuk-hyung answers with another question.

“What are you saying, hyung?” Sungjae looks up.

“You’ve read The Lunch Box, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Nothing, nothing…it’s just that pna502 writes like Se Na, don’t you think?” I just shrug. No matter how similar they may be it’s not like they’re the same person, right.

Sungjae blinks, and, after much thought, he looks down on a page in the book, peruses a few lines, and answers, “Now that you said it…why, you’re right.”

Just in time, the door of our room opens, revealing Ilhoon and our leader marching in. “Just droppin’ by to bid you guys good night!” Ilhoon says, waving his arms in the air.

“Good night guys,” Eunkwang-hyung says serenely. “Whatcha talking about?”

“Oh, The Lunch Box.” Minhyuk-hyung answers. “These two say that Se Na and the author of the fan fiction write similarly.”

However Ilhoon finds this amusing, I don’t know, but he laughs as he sits beside Sungjae and takes a peek at Se Na’s book. “Really?”

“Yeah…” maknae hesitates in allowing him to read, but there’s nothing he could do now.

“Why, you’re right! They are a little similar!” Ilhoon assents.

Eunkwang-hyung’s interest probably isn’t that much captured, so he just nods, and tells us, “Okay we were just here to say good night. Ilhoon, come, rehearsals tomorrow,”

Our second maknae does stand, as he is told, and waves us goodbye upon their egress. There’s something in his face that hints certain…I don’t know. Mischief? “Nightie!”

“Jaljayo,” we bid back. Afterwards we go to sleep.

See? I’m right. Sungjae and Ilhoon agree with me.