Shortly after arriving at home, there was a knock on the door. I opened it and there he stood, carrying a large duffle bag in his hand and a backpack on his shoulder. His lips trembled and his face was completely distraught. My jolly, old friend was a complete wreck. It was hard to look at. I wanted to hold him and ask what was wrong, but stopped myself mid thought, knowing that I couldn't. Ever since we were little, Woohyun hated skinship. He only hugged Hoya and me when he was in public, hitting on a girl or flaunting his popularity. Other than that, he didn't touch us and we didn't touch him. We never asked why, but just tried to avoid making him feel uncomfortable. As a result, Hoya and I never really hugged or played around either. I sighed and took the duffle bag from him, gesturing with my neck for him to follow me. As we passed by my mother's open office door she came out to greet me old friend.

"Oh, I know this one!" She said warmly, reaching in for a hug. "How yah been, sweetheart?" Woohyun slapped a huge fake smile on his face.

"Long time no see, Ms. K. I'm alright, and yourself?" I cringed at his ability to play pretend. Had he faked a smile like this other times without me noticing? I couldn't think of a time when he didn't seem genuinely happy. When they broke away from the awkward hug, my mother folded her arms and leaned against the door frame.

"I'm well. Can't complain, I guess." Woohyun nodded politely. "Well I'll let you boys go do whatever it is you were going to do." We both nodded and headed towards the guest bedroom. Once we got there, I threw the duffle bag on the ground next to the bed. It was ridiculously heavy.

"Why so much stuff for just one night?" I asked.

"Well, I was hoping you'd let me stay a little longer...." He said, his voice trailing off a bit by the end of the sentence.  I cocked my head to the side curiously.

"How much longer?"

"I'm not really sure," he sat down on the bed. "A week tops?" He said tentatively.

"I think that'll be fine." I bit my lip, wondering if my mother would actually be home during that week or if I should jump at the thought of having company in the house for so long. "But hyung, why stay here? Why can't you go home?" I sat next to him on the bed. He took a deep breath and looked down at his lap.

"Got kicked out." I stifled a frustrated grunt. He was stalling.

"And why is that.”

"Because I like Sunggyu hyung." My jaw dropped and I covered my mouth with my hand. He said that without any hint of hesitation. So definitely, like it was nothing new. "I've liked him for a while now. I first met him at soccer camp when we were, like, 9." He chuckled to himself. "I remember him being really bad." His chuckles grew almost into a fit of laughter. "He looked like a chubby hamster running around on the field... It was really great!" His laughs slowed a bit, but the memory left a lingering smile on his lips. "We were really close then. He was my best friend. I was basically as close with him as I was with you and Hoya but it only took half as long for us to get there." He paused for a moment and hung his head. "He was my first real hyung." I tried to say something but no words would come out. Finally I found my voice.

"So if you've been friends all this time, why didn't you tell anyone?"

"Because we weren't friends anymore. I cut him off the second I realized I liked him. He's a boy. I mean, what else was I supposed to do?" He looked up desperately, as if praying that I could ease his pain. "I like girls. I like women. I like humans of the female variety only." His words held enough venom to kill an angry mob. That's what I would tell myself every day when I woke up. Hoping, praying that it would sink in. That it would be true." His words still came out easily despite the single tear that slid down his cheek. It was then I realized exactly how strong he was. He was being torn him apart for years now and nobody suspected a thing. Every move he made, every word he said must have been carefully decided. Everything he did had to make it seem like he was filled with joy every second of every day. Only after nineteen years of life was he able to give in a little. I reached my hand out and put it on his, hoping it would soothe him rather than freak him out even more. To my surprise, he collapsed onto my chest and held me tightly as he could.

"I'm sorry Myungsoo-ah," he sobbed, "I'm so sorry for never letting you hug me. I know you always wanted to, I could tell. I could tell because I wanted to hug you. I wanted to have a normal hyung-dongsaeng relationship. But I was too scared. I was too scared of liking you." He wiped his face messily then grabbed my shoulders and looked into my eyes. "It won't happen again, Soo. I promise that. I know who I am now, and I'm not scared. I just can't be." He giggled a little bit. "It's too exhausting..." I held him tighter than I'd ever held anyone before. The words filled me with too much joy to compute. Suddenly a thought appeared in my mind. I giggled too. "What?" he asked as we broke apart. 

"Y-Y-You," I rolled around on the bed laughing. He hit my leg.

"What is so funny?!"

"You like a boy. Sunggyu likes a boy. Sungjong likes a boy. Sungyeol likes a boy." I paused for a moment. "I like a boy. All that's left are Hoya and Dongwoo and I wouldn't be surprised if they had something going on as well. I mean, when's the last time they went somewhere separately....?" His eyebrows furrowed. "Yep." I confirmed. "Actually.... actually I'm in love with a boy." His jaw dropped this time. "With Sungyeol." He pretended to faint. I laughed.

"Wait, so let me get this straight. Sunggyu and I like each other. Dongwoo and Hoya most likely like each other. You and Sungyeol love each other. Where does that leave Sungjong?"

"With me... kinda... I guess..." I mumbled. Woohyun pretended to pass out and began flailing around a bit. I burst out in laughter again. 

"WHAT! You're cheating on Sungyeol?!?" He punched my shoulder. "What the hell man? That's so not okay!"

"Nooo! Nonononononoo! It's not like that...” I said, trying to think of how it actually was. So many things were wrong with his statement; I didn't know where to start. "Well, first of all, Sungyeol and I are not official. Nowhere near it... I don't think at least....."

"Why not? You love each other, don't you?" I bit my finger, deep in thought. We did love each other. I mean, he told me he loved me, so why wouldn't we be together.

"Are you and Sunggyu together?" I asked curiously. He nodded. "Really??"

"Mhmm." he said, continuing to nod. "He said that we could finally be together after I told my parents about us, so I did." He looked down and smiled sadly. "And that's what brought me here." I cringed. His parents had kicked him out for being gay. I patted his back as if telling him to look at the bright side. He has love now.

"Well anyways, Sungjong and I aren't really anything. He just likes me. Like, a lot." I tried to change the subject so that Woohyun wouldn't be sad anymore.

"Do you like Sungjong?" He questioned. I stared at my socks, confused as to why I couldn't answer immediately. I didn't like Sungjong, right? No. I couldn't.

"I love Sungyeol." I insisted. He looked at me slyly from underneath his eyebrows. 

"That's not what I asked." He teased. I threw myself back on the bed and sighed in frustration.

"I don't know..." I decided to voice my thoughts as they appeared in my mind. "I don't think I like him, but I just feel like I have to be there for him. He's always there for me, even after I broke his heart. I mean, he was hurting himself because he liked me so much. Shouldn't I have to make it up to him? Don't I owe him that much?" I paused, gathering my thoughts and coming up with a conclusion. "So much of his pain was caused by me. I just want to make it up to him, you know? Does that mean I like him?" I wondered.

"Nope," Woohyun said almost cheerfully, "it just means that you care for him. You want to protect him, be his hyung." I smiled, feeling a warmth coming from the inside and spreading across my entire body. I sat up on the bed.

"I am his hyung. He said it himself. Right to me!" I said excitedly. Woohyun chuckled.

"Then there you go!" He patted my leg tenderly. "Aigoo! My little Myungie is growing up!" He pinched my cheeks with his rough-skinned fingers. "I'm just so pwoud!" He said as if talking to a baby. I slapped his hand away from my face. 

"Ugh. Now I have to deal with grease in public and at home." We both chuckled at my comment. Suddenly we heard commotion downstairs. We listened as my mother's voice echoed through the house.

"Soo? Hyunnie?" I giggled hearing Woohyun's childhood nickname. "There's someone here for you guys!" She shouted from downstairs. I sprung up from the bed and sprinted downstairs, assuming it would be Sungyeol. I stopped in the doorway of the main hall almost immediately, somewhat stunned by who had appeared. Woohyun came bounding down the stairs behind me.

"What? Who is i-" He stopped in his tracks and walked up to the boy. His eyes were almost misty as they embraced. "Hyung!" He yelled happily.

"I said stop calling me that!" Sunggyu yelled back playfully. They parted from the hug and whispered something to each other that was completely inaudible. My confused mother turned to me. Is he staying to? She mouthed to me. I shrugged. She sighed and returned to her office, finally realizing she had no control over the situation. I led the boys back up to the guest room. 

"Well," I said when we got there, "I guess I’ll let you two talk it out then." And with that I walked out calmly, shutting the door. I wiggled my eyebrows playfully. I had no intension of leaving them alone. If there’s one thing I'd gotten out of living in a huge empty house my whole life, it was that the walls were thin as paper. Every noise made in one room was completely audible from the surrounding rooms, including the hallway I was in. I carefully sat on the cold, hard wood floor and pressed my ear up against the bottom of the door. I almost wished I had a bowl of popcorn in front of me as I listened in on my hyungs' conversation. After a brief kiss and an awkward pause, Woohyun started the conversation.

"I told them today."

"Babe, you didn't-"

"No. They needed to know. I couldn't lie to them anymore."

"So.... what happened?"

"Well, I ended up here. That's saying something."

"Oh no..."

"They totally freaked. Told me not to come back until I found a girl to marry."

"Babe, I-"

"Stop. It’s okay, really. I have you now." Another kiss.

"Well you don't have to stay here. Come to my apartment. You can stay with me for as long as you want." Wait a second. Apartment?!? Sunggyu had an apartment?!? Where were his parents? Woohyun's voce snapped me back to their conversation.

"No, no. I'm staying here for tonight or two. Maybe even the whole week. Myungsoo is sad again, I know it. I have to be there for him right now." Huh? Since when was he able to tell when I was sad or not? Could they all tell? Did everyone know?!? And why didn't he ever say anything? I took a deep breath. Now that I thought about it he did always come watch movies with me when my mom was on business trips or just gone for weeks at a time. I shouldn't be mad. If anything I should thank him later. Their conversation continued.

"Aishh, that poor kid." Sunggyu said. "His mom seemed pretty nice downstairs. To be honest, I didn't even think she was going to be here. Not after what you told me." After what you told me. Great. I had become the object of everyone's pity. Their words felt grubby against my skin.

"Me too." Woohyun replied. "I'm still not really sure what's going on with him. He will forever be the mysteriously brooding L." They chuckled. I tried not to take it personally. Being called mysterious was something I'd brought upon myself. "But after staying here I'll try going home.  I have to go back eventually. I have to make them understand. I want to."

"Wow," Sunggyu marveled, "my Woo bear is really brave, huh?" Woohyun giggled. I gagged. Woo bear? Really? The pair of them was so greasy it made me cringe. "I'm so proud to finally call you my partner." Woohyun gasped.

"Really?!?" I could feel the vibration of his feet hitting the ground repeatedly. He was hopping up and down excitedly. "You really mean it this time? No more ifs? No more buts? No more conditions?" Sunggyu giggled.

"Ah, my boyfriend is so cute!" They both giggled into a kiss. A looooooooooooooooong kiss. Finally they broke apart, but only long enough for Woohyun to whisper "I'm all yours" to a now panting Sunggyu. Chills went up my spine. Such grease. I stood up quickly, hoping it would keep me from vomiting. That was enough eavesdropping for one day. I can only take so much lovey-dovey-drama. I was about to head for my room when I heard it. A moan. My head whipped back towards the door. I didn't know if I wanted to keep listening or get the hell out of there. I suddenly began sprinting to my room, deciding to let them be. What was I, some sort of ert? Maybe L is, but not me; not Myungsoo.

When I returned to my room, I ripped my phone from my pocket to call Sungyeol. Not only did I want to fill him in and gossip, but also check up on him. A lot had happened that day, and there was no way he was 100 percent okay with it all. The phone rang, but there was no answer.  Before getting worked up, I glanced at the clock above the doorway of the room. It was nearly midnight. He must have fallen asleep. I tried calling him one more time. It went straight to voicemail. Whatever, I thought as I crawled into bed, I'll just see him tomorrow I guess....

And with that, I fell asleep to the soft moans of my hyungs two rooms over.

[AUTHOR'S NOTE]

Gahh! apologizing again for a chapter what is this. The next one will be super flawless and I will take it more seriously than life, okay? I love you all and it kills me to keep you waiting but school and choir is buring me. Idek how okay I love you byebyebye <3 ~~~~