“Uhm…what are we doing, Kyuhyun?” Ryeowook was sitting on the bed, a blindfold over his eyes. There was the sound of the ocean playing in the background and a slight shuffling of feet.

“We’re getting ,” he answered sarcastically, “no, what do you think? We’re going to help you work this out. So just close your eyes behind that blindfold.” Kyuhyun sat down across from Ryeowook and closed his hands around either side of that lovely face. “Now, tell me the happiest memory of him you have.”

He was quiet for a long time, heart racing erratically at the question. Every memory was polluted with disease and Ryeowook truly wondered if he could conjure up a thought that was pure and sweet and simple. That’s what they had always been, so why couldn’t he see it now? Why had they become something so torn and vicious after his death?

“Ryeowook,” Kyuhyun murmured gently, resting his forehead against the blindfolded man. He breathed softly whilst his fingers trailed down to slowly run over Ryeowook’s smooth neck. “Tell me about your first kiss.” His hands lowered carefully, massaging with the lightest, kindest touch as if coaxing him to relax.

“Our first kiss…,” he whispered, smiling automatically at the memory. Ryeowook sighed under the innocent ministrations, head lowering, “He and I were walking to school and we were arguing because I was treating him like a child,” Ryeowook explained in a hushed voice. “That…was a little bit after I found out about his illness. He kissed me all of a sudden and we were both awkward because we didn’t know what to say or do.” He laughed a little then, “I’ll never forget what he said. He said ‘Sorry, that was really weird’, but isn’t it weirder to apologize for kissing your lover?” Ryeowook was smiling then, his mind’s eye finally able to bring forward that morning and that smile and that horror written on both of their faces.

Kyuhyun regretted for a second that he asked about the dead man. As much as he wanted to say that his intentions were completely selfless, he really couldn’t. His emotions were all over the place because of this one man and when that one man spoke so fondly of someone else – dead or not – how could he be happy from the bottom of his heart?

Sighing, he couldn’t stop a bittersweet smile from crossing his face though. Ryeowook looked so happy. In fact, he looked happier than Kyuhyun had ever seen him. If only that smile was for him though. Then the entire world would be right.

“Thank you,” Ryeowook said quietly.

Kyuhyun blinked, shaking himself out of his thoughts. The blindfold was slipping off and then he was caught by those smiling eyes. “Huh?” he managed, clearing his throat uncomfortably.

“I just mean…that it means a lot for you to be trying this hard for me,” Ryeowook explained, looking down at his lap, “I think I feel a bit better. Baby steps, right?”

“Yeah, baby steps,” Kyuhyun nodded stiffly. He glanced around the room rigidly for a moment and then backed up, getting to his feet. “Are we done then? I feel like we haven’t done much.”

“This is enough for now,” Ryeowook shook his head, “This is the first time I’ve been able to think of a happy memory with him…in a while. So thank you.” He reached out, pulling Kyuhyun to a halt before he could walk too far away. “We should probably head to bed. You have an early—” Ryeowook stopped himself when Kyuhyun shot him a death glare. “Ah…we’ll talk about work in the morning then.”

“Yes, that’s right,” he muttered irritably. Kyuhyun leaned back down, pressing a kiss to the man’s lips. For a second, he actually thought he would be rejected, but he wasn’t. Ryeowook pushed back with equal affection – or at least, Kyuhyun wanted to believe that it was equal affection.

***

The sun didn’t spill through the window like normal. In fact, Ryeowook was almost positive that it was still night time because he couldn’t see the world waking up. Their window was bleak and gray, the curtains dyed a depressing shade of off white.

“It’s already five,” Ryeowook muttered, rubbing his eyes. Sitting up slowly, he glanced backwards to see Kyuhyun rolled to the edge of the bed. It was pretty rare for him to not be hoarding Ryeowook, but that just made things easier. And so, he went about his daily morning schedule.

Having a set system was what kept him sane for the longest time, but now, as he was trying to face his fear, it seemed like the schedule just wasn’t enough anymore. Was it still okay for him to distract himself from reality with work?

Ryeowook paused as he got out of the shower, water still trickling down his body. If he was serious about getting his act together, wouldn’t it be a good idea to take another step? Breathing slowly, carefully, he looked into the foggy mirror, trying to figure out what his next step should be.

It couldn’t be too out there or else he would definitely recoil. It couldn’t be senseless either; otherwise, he would just be replacing his meticulous behavior with another creepy distraction. Ryeowook dried himself off and grabbed his phone from the bathroom counter top.

Kyuhyun opened his eyes with an aching reluctance. Looking around blearily, he wondered why he felt so refreshed. He glanced at the clock and nearly shot out of bed. “Ryeowook?” he called, coughing when his voice broke hoarsely.

The delicious scent of food was wafting through the open bedroom door and Kyuhyun climbed out of bed, following it to the kitchen. Outside, it was raining heavily and there was the faint sound of blaring horns. Kyuhyun peered into the kitchen, eyes widening when he saw Ryeowook in an apron and slippers, an oversized shirt barely covering his body. “W-What’s going on?” he stuttered, tentatively approaching the dream-like vision of Ryeowook. He had to still be sleeping. No way would this be happening. But… “Why didn’t you wake me up? It’s already eleven.”

Ryeowook turned the heat off the scrambled eggs, scraping them off the pan and onto a plate. “It’s part of my new schedule,” he explained, “…I…think I’m going to try something new every day. So today, I’m playing hooky for the first time in my life and since you’re life is my life, we’re both playing hooky.” He blushed faintly, looking up at Kyuhyun who was grinning with so much delight that Ryeowook had to take a step back. “I sort of guessed you would be happy.”

“I love you, my beautiful assistant,” Kyuhyun gushed as he glomped onto the tiny figure. He picked him up, spinning him around the kitchen as the smaller man giggled and held on tightly. “So what are we going to do today?”

Ryeowook looked up at Kyuhyun, giving him an uncertain look, “I…don’t know. I didn’t plan anything.”

“You…You didn’t plan anything?” he repeated. “Can you say that again so I can record it for proof?” Kyuhyun smirked when Ryeowook smacked his chest. “Kidding…sort of,” he chuckled, kissing him slowly. “Then let’s go on a date.”

“In the rain?” Ryeowook cocked an eyebrow.

“There are indoor places,” Kyuhyun snorted, “let’s go to the mall.”

“We aren’t teenagers anymore,” he mused.

“Can’t you let me control things just once?” he retorted.

Ryeowook sighed and smiled, “Okay, okay…we’ll do what you want today.”