Jiyong feels like he's getting old for the first time when he looks at Seungri on a rather sunny day in October, The foliage is stained in the familiar warm hues of autumn and the people in the streets walk around with light scarves and a heavy sense of purpose. Children are back in school and businessmen are at their busiest.

"Ugh! She's driving me crazy!"

Jiyong watches as Seungri tugs at his own scarf and texts on his phone, hastily tapping the touchscreen in annoyance. The two are in a small cafe, waiting for their order in a comfortable silence until the maknae bursts out his frustrations.

"Haneul? Bad timing again?"

Seungri nods, stilll looking down at his phone. That's when it rushes to Jiyong.

Seungri isn't the bright-eyed maknae anymore. He wrinkles his forehead when he's stressed and he rubs at the stubble surrounding his mouth, and the once-plump flesh of his cheeks are now more thinned-out.

Seungri complains about his girlfriend, just as Jiyong does. Seungri starts to get into small arguments with his parents about getting married, just as Jiyong does.

Seungri no longer worries about keeping up a youthful appearance of buff muscles or healthy hair. He just keeps his hair shaved, deciding to keep the look after his military service.

It is here, on this warm day in October, that Jiyong becomes aware of his age.

Because, even though he knows he's too old for this, he still remembers Nyongtory when he looks at Seungri. He still sees the cute teenage maknae from Gwanju, even though he knows no one else does.

The waitress comes by the small table with orders of warm coffee, and Jiyong absent-mindedly nods his head at her in a small bow. Seungri also offers the waitress a small smile in gratitude, stuffs his phone into his jacket's pocket, and quickly pours the contents of cream and sugar into his drink before getting up from his seat to leave.

"Be at the studio at six, right? I can at least have a few hours with her."

Jiyong nods his head and waves him off.

"Don't be-"

"Yeah, don't be late. I'm going."

Seungri briskly walks out of the cafe, and as the little bell rings at the top of the door as it opens and closes, Jiyong feels like he's been splashed in the face with burning-cold ice water. The elder shivers as this odd feeling washes over him.

Why is it, that even after all these years, Jiyong and Seungri still have little moments together like this?

Jiyong and Seungri are too old for Nyongtory. The fans stopped squealing about the cute act a long time ago.

They're men. Grown men. They each have a steady-enough relationship with a woman and are doing more in thier lives than just singing or acting. They're men trying to settle down.

Jiyong sips his black coffee, the bitterness snapping him out of his daze.

He should probably check with his own girlfriend too. He should probably do something sweet for her and tell her he loves her because he hasn't said it in a few days.

And he should probably stop with these secret rendezvous with Seungri that he's too old for, but he doesn't.

Because Jiyong and Seungri both know that their girlfriends will never be enough, Those women will never understand the form of love forced on them when they signed a contract with an entertainment industry. They will never understand that relationship that struggles between brotherhood and love.

There are just some things better left unsaid.