Sunday, 4pm and I was waiting right by my door. I wasn’t waiting downstairs because I didn’t want him to think I was too excited about this. And I wasn’t. Deep inside I was genuinely afraid I was going to get my heart broken for real this time. What if he’s excuse was “I’m sorry. You were too boring so I made up an imaginary schedule and left but, hey, you can still give me a from time to time.”? I sighed once more and let myself scroll down my door until I was sitting on the floor.

My phone rang and I went downstairs without answering. I wonder why people these days never use the doorbell.

When I opened the front door, all I saw a black van where I supposed Chanyeol was. And it didn’t take me long to get the confirmation I wasn’t waiting for. Baekhyun rolled down one of the windows and said with a face he was clearly faking “Get in, loser. We’re going shopping!”

I laughed at his Mean Girls’ quote and enter the vehicle when Chanyeol opened the door for me from the inside. I sat next to him.

“Hello, manager-nim.” I did a little bow that I hoped he saw from the rearview. “Hi, Baekhyun oppa and… Kai” Both of them waved at me, the first one more enthusiastic than the second. “Hi.” I said looking at Chanyeol.

It was the first time I met Kai and he wasn’t much of a talker, at least not with people he wasn’t familiar with. But the silence between us wasn’t hostile, it was even more comfortable that most of the conversations I’ve had with some people.

“So, are we seriously going shopping right now?” If Chanyeol was thinking about buying my pardon with gifts, he should know that it was not going to work. Maybe he wanted to buy me a nice tissue I could cry on when I knew the truth of how much he didn’t like me and was just playing with my poor feelings.

“No, only Kai and I are going but just for an hour, though. We have work after that.” Baekhyun interrupted my thoughts. “What do you want to buy to Kyungsoo? I don’t even know why you asked me to come with you; I’m not really good with picking gifts for people…” The two guys started talking so I thought it was I good moment to ask Chanyeol what were we going to do.

“So, we…” I looked at him expectantly. He looked back at me and smiled.

“…Are going somewhere. It’s a surprise!” He winked and I gave him a warning glare.

We stopped in front of a mall where there weren’t a lot of people and Baekhyun got down of the car followed by Jongin.

“I’ll come pick you up at 5:20, guys. Be ready.” The manager said before setting out. The two of them nodded and turned around to enter the striking construction.

5 minutes later we were parking the van on a car wash parking lot inside a building specialized in that area. I was more confused than always and I guess anyone could read it on my face because Chanyeol gave my thigh a little squeeze maybe trying to calm me down and of course having the opposite effect.

The manager turned off the vehicle and put the keys in his pocket. “I’ll be back in an hour. Don’t get in trouble, kids.” He said as he opened the door and stepped outside. He gave us one last concerned look before closing the door again.

“Wait, we’re staying here?” Chanyeol nodded excitedly in response. “Sorry, but I don’t get it.” I admitted.

“Well, I wanted to have some time alone so we could talk and you said once you liked to go on car rides leading nowhere, just getting in the car and enjoy the nice company.” I couldn’t believe he remembered what I’ve said that one time. I don’t know, in my mind I’d always thought what I said was entirely uninteresting to him.

“Ummm, but we’re not moving…”

“I know.” Chanyeol smiled widely and I had to make a huge effort not to laugh in that moment. This guy was seriously something special.

“Ok, since we’re here I guess you could start talking.” I didn’t have a clue about what he wanted to tell me.

“I want to explain myself. All of it. But you have to promise you won’t get mad.” He pursed his lips expectantly.

“I can’t promise you that. The only thing I can do is make sure my reaction is as honest as your words.” It was true, I was going to try to understand him before jumping to conclusions but my final opinion on what he was going to say remained uncertain.

“Ugh ok then… I ha-”

But in that moment a gigantic blue brush snapped against the window next to me. I jumped in my seat and instinctively grabbed the first thing I could. We both screamed and I felt Chanyeol’s hands grab the tissue of the back of my shirt and his arms wrapped around me. When I opened my eyes I realized I had my arms around Chanyeol’s neck, almost hugging him. My face was buried under his chin.

I leaned back blushing and I heard him giggle as he let go of my shirt, too. Nice way to break the tension, whoever is up there watching this like he was watching The Simpsons.

“Now, THAT was scary.” He said. We looked at the windows and there were brushes moving all around the place covering every possible dirty spot on the surface of the van.

After a moment we got used to the situation and looked back at each other to continue where we stopped.

“This may be a long story so you should make yourself comfortable.” He then proceeded to pat his lap and I lifted an eyebrow. Seeing that I was motionless, he patted the same place again, this time putting more energy in the action. I let out a sigh in defeat and placed my head on Chanyeol’s lap. I was laying on my back and the only thing I could see from there was his face. He was smiling down at me finally pleased.

But I wasn’t more relaxed than before since if there is something I know, it is that when people try to keep you close before telling you something it’s quite probably because what they have to say is going to push you away. Just think about doctors placing the hand of a woman between theirs before telling her her son is dying.

Anyways, I waited there for him to start speaking. He cleared his voice and opened his mouth.

“I have to go back until the first day we met. Do you remember that day? I was with Baekhyun and you were one excited girl writing a text on my phone.” I smiled a little bit. It seemed like it was so long ago but it was actually, what, 3 weeks ago? “The truth is I texted you that night because Baekhyun and I agreed you were one witty fangirl that deserved a little reward.”

“Wait, so you didn’t text me because I’m fabulous?” I was deceived because my plan hadn’t worked out as I thought it had but well, it’s not like anything ever worked out as I expected. I knew that day was too good to be true.

“Mmmm in some way, it was because of that. We knew you were faking it but your original plan was great.” He smiled widely. I guess he was happy I wasn’t getting mad so far. “Then we started hanging out and you were actually a lot of fun.” Even if Chanyeol sounded extremely sincere I couldn’t help it but wonder if he was lying to make me happy. I always had trouble believing people when they complimented me. “And then we went to the movies.” He made a pause, his sight placed on the brush outside his window. “That day, when I went to the bathroom I got a call from our manager saying that they were going to pick me up to go to a meeting with the CEO of our company. He was furious at me because I wasn’t answering his calls because my phone was mute. I was so scared of him that day.” He looked at me, who had been staring at him all this time. But he immediately looked away as soon as out eyes met. And he didn’t look back in a long time. “This meeting was quite important because we were discussing the last matters concerning our upcoming comeback.”

“But why didn’t you…” I know I shouldn’t have talked because the best way of making someone tell you nothing but the truth is letting them express themselves without interruptions.

“I’m sorry I didn’t text you. I was confused. You know, that feeling when you really like someone but there is something you can’t tell them and you feel you don’t actually have a choice because either ways something feels wrong? Telling you or not telling you were both wrong for different reasons.” What he was talking about reminded me of the way I felt when I couldn’t talk with Min Young about Chanyeol. I nodded letting him know I understood. “I should have let you know I had left, though. But I didn’t.”

And I was going to let him know how bad that made me feel and how mad I was at him because of it. But I didn’t either.

“Because I thought maybe you wouldn’t have the guts to text me asking where I was. Maybe you would have thought I ran away and you would have hated me. Because maybe this is a mistake.”

Chanyeol spoke in a serious but relaxed tone of voice, like he was letting me enter his mind and he was just speaking his thoughts out loud. Not hiding anything, not restraining himself. He was doing exactly what I love to do: doing with someone something you could do alone. And I felt like the luckiest person in the world because this time that someone was me.

“But then I couldn’t stop thinking about it. And 3 days later, I sent you that stupid text. And you were mad. And I was mad too, mad at you for being mad at me instead of giving me the little extra push I needed to get more into this mistake. Because I, Park Chanyeol, wasn’t brave enough to do it by myself.” Chanyeol was clearly thinking deep about all of this at the same time he was speaking, but he didn’t stutter once.

“Well…” I felt all his attention be set on me. “I thought it was a mistake too, after that day. But I changed my mind 3 minutes ago. I don’t see why I should stop doing something that makes me happy and isn’t harming anyone. Except me, from time to time.” I mumbled to myself the last part. I looked up to meet his gaze and I can’t explain how much we were able to say to each other without actually saying a word in that moment. “Please don’t stop talking to me, Chanyeol oppa.”

Please. I didn’t care if I was starting to fall for him, I didn’t care if he didn’t return those feelings, I didn’t care I was breaking down my walls, allowing him to hurt me more than anyone else could ever have. I’d always hated to ask people to go with me somewhere or do something with me, if they didn’t want to go I wasn’t going to beg for it. But this time I didn’t care. I was asking him not to leave but at the same time I felt he was asking me to tell him to stay.

“You just gave me the little extra push I needed.” He smiled with gratitude and relief.

“Well, then go on a diet or something because I’m getting tired of pushing you up the hill, fat man.” I loved how I could have a deep conversation with Chanyeol but two seconds later we could be joking around. I loved how he could be shy and serious about something, doing his best, and then all of a sudden he was bursting in laugh clapping his hands just because he saw something he considered funny. I loved so many little details about this guy. “But don’t worry, I’ll keep pushing your fat self, anyways. Just one thing: please let me know when you’ll get tired of feeling the pressure of my hands in your back.”

He smiled more brightly than I had ever seen him smile, if that is even possible. I smiled back but not even if I tried I would be able to smile quite like him. He had a smile that could light up the whole town. And yes, I’m quoting Taylor Swift.

He then started leaning closer and closer to my face. I blushed not knowing exactly what he was doing. And I got more confused when I realized what was almost touching my nose were his collarbones. I got lost on the sweet smell of Chanyeol’s neck and how soft the fabric of his t-shirt felt brushing against my chin. I could guess his hands were moving looking for something on the bag next to his feet.

“Ah! I finally found it. Your birthday pres- OUCH!” His body jumped a little bit and he straightened his back. I got up from his lap to take a more panoramic look at what was going on. Chanyeol was holding one of his hands with the other very close to his eyes, examining the surface of his finger. His lips were pouting in a cute way.

“Let me see.” I took his hand with both of mines and I brought it near my face. There was nothing there. “I don’t see anything. What were yo-” but when I lifted my eyes to look at Chanyeol he was staring at me in a way I couldn’t help but stare back. He his lips mindlessly and I took that as an invitation and leaned forward, still with his hand between mines. I felt a warm touch against my cheek and I realized Chanyeol was cupping one side of my face with his free hand. He was leaning closer, too.

My heart was beating fast and I felt myself blush. I closed my eyes in an attempt to control myself. I felt his hot breath crashing against my lips making me feel butterflies in my stomach. Closer, closer. I didn’t want to rush things, I was enjoying every single moment of that still anticipated moment. I thought seeing Chanyeol’s face from so close would have been one of the best things in my life, but for now I was able to feel everything one hundred times more with my eyes closed. I knew I could become addicted to the sensation wandering my entire body in that moment. I stopped breathing because I sensed his lips were a millimeter away from mines. This is it.

Suddenly the front door opened and we heard the manager’s voice.

“I hope you discussed everything you had to talk about because play time is over, kids.” He entered the car, probably ignoring on purpose our red faces and the impossible distances that was between us right now. We had jumped instinctively the farthest away from the other we could as soon as we were aware of the intruder. And we were now pressed against opposite windows.

How many people… How many people do I have to punch in the face before they stop interrupting us! I let out a sigh and avoided every possible eye contact with the guy I had almost kissed 30 seconds ago. It wasn’t a hard task after we picked Baekhyun and Kai up because the older was telling unlimited stories about their adventure in the shopping mall.

They left me in front of my house and as soon as I entered my little apartment I fainted on my bed. Or probably I just fell asleep too abruptly because I don’t think people faint and don’t wake up until 5 in the morning, the time when I woke up and facepalmed myself once more.

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Hi hi, little fellows! How are you all doing? I hope you like this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it. Man, teasing you guys is so much fun…

Please feel free (and a little bit forced) to comment and subscribe! Saranghae~

Val <3

ps: the gif belongs to this moonpie right here