“Someone once told me how to read palms” I said to Chanyeol, readjusting my head on his shoulder. We were still sitting in the couch, where we had been for the last half an hour. “I don’t remember exactly how to do it and it’s probably not the correct way to do it but here, give me your hand. I’ll try my best.” I took his left hand between mines when he handed it to me. “Err… was it the right one or the left one?”

“Just start reading it already!”

“Ok, ok. Jesus…”

I put my faces closer to his hand and he leaned as well, resting his chin on my shoulder. I held his hand with both of mines and brushed my fingers all over his palm, paying attention to the fine lines that were mixed with other even finest ones. There were three bigger ones that overlapped the rest. His hand was a lot bigger than mine even if my hands weren’t exactly small. The skin, soft in the center and stiffer towards the end of the fingers, probably because of the time he spent playing guitar and other instruments, felt warm against mine.

His hot breath brushed against my neck and his lips followed. He planted a few kisses there and then whispered in my ear “Hurry up.” Why did that sound so y? His deep voice and soft lips were more than I could handle. So, I closed my eyes trying to make the red covering my face go away and started the analysis.

“Yo-your left hand” Don’t stutter, Abi. DO NOT stutter. “ is what you’re born with… I think. See this line?” I said tracing the one closer to his fingers. I looked at him to check if he was paying attention but quickly turned my sight back to his hand when I saw how close his face was. “It’s your heart line.”

“My Abi line.” He corrected and I felt his muscles tense when he smiled with his cheek touching my neck.

“Aren’t you a cheesy man…” We both laughed a little before I continued with my amateur reading. “Anyways, the one beneath is your head line and this one, the one that goes to your wrist, is your life line. The last major line that kind of cross your palm from north to south, is the fate line. Yours is not really prominent.” I saw him pout on my peripheral view. “Hey, I don’t even have one ok?” I said showing him my right hand (since in girls, palms should be read the opposite way… I think).

I proceed with my task for about five minutes. It was a long time when I learnt how to do it and my memory is bad so I probably said more lies than possible truths. But Chanyeol was happy when I was done. He kept looking at his own hand for a few more seconds after I let go.

“You’re awesome.” He said, his face breaking into a full smile. Seeing him like this made me feel like smiling as well, so I did. “Hey! I know how to read the back of the hands!” He said a little too excited for me to trust him.

I gave him a wary look in return; “I’m not even sure that type of reading exist.”

“Of course it does. Now, give me your left hand.” I showed him my left hand, which was opposite from where Chanyeol was sitting next to me, so I had to come a little bit closer, our legs brushing with each other’s.

His eyebrows frowned a little from concentration and he bit his lower lip. I was starting to get concern. Did the back of my hand say something bad was going to happen to me?

“You… you have to kiss me right now!” He said finally looking at me.

WHAT? “What?!” But before I could protest any further, he pulled my left hand to his right side and my body automatically reacted. I lifted my left knee and the force of the boy’s movement made do a 180 degrees turn, ending up on Chanyeol’s lap, with my knees in both sides of his legs.

I don’t know if my heart stopped beating or if it was beating so fast it was going to give up from exhaustion soon. My eyes grew bigger, I was sure I looked like the guy Kai when to take a shower with. On the other side, Chanyeol only gave me one of those breath taking smiles of his. He was holding both of my hands to keep me where I was.

“Kiss me.” He let out again with a tone that trailed between pleading and daring.

I was frozen in the spot. I had started one of our kisses once but this time I was so lost in his eyes I couldn’t move. The butterflies in my stomach had me paralyzed with their lovely lethal poison. I know butterflies don’t have poison in their wings, but the ones living inside of me when Chanyeol was around did. A glittering poison that make me feel like I was in free fall every time he did something as little as look in my direction.

“Cha-chanyeol, we’re in your dorm and…”

“I… am sorry, Abi.” He said lowering his head a little, breaking the eye contact. “I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable. I was just-”

His voice was cut off by my lips crashing against his. In the shock of my sudden action, he let go of my hands and I placed them around his neck. It took him a few seconds before he started returning the kiss, putting his hands around my waist.

I lifted one of my hands to grab his hair, trying to get closer if that was even possible. I pulled a little the dark brown locks of hair I had between my fingers and he let out a low groan against my lips. Sooner than expected his tongue was dancing with mine, exploring my mouth, his teeth playing with my lower lip, his hands going down until he grabbed my . I giggled a little into the kiss.

“Wow, and I thought Baekhyun said no PDA…” A voice said from the open kitchen next to the living room.

We broke the kiss immediately, Chanyeol removing his hands and placing them against his sides and I got off of his lap. All in less than three seconds.

“Jongin…” Chanyeol said clearly annoyed.

Said boy was leaning against the dining table with a glass of water pressed against his lips. He drank once more before talking.

“Hey, I just came to grab some water and saw you two all touchy touchy in the couch. But don’t worry, I’m leaving now. So… I don’t know, call me if you need a or anything.” He walked away heading to his room.

He closed the door right before the cushion Chanyeol throw at him could hit him.

“Well… that was awkward.” He said when we were finally alone, sitting side by side and avoiding each other’s eyes.

“Yeah…”

And then we laughed. We laughed because that’s what we always do.

“I think we should take a nap.” He proposed. And I politely decline.

“Over my dead body.” I looked at him and saw the smirk in his face that matched his playful eyes. “You know I hate naps, Chanyeol.” But it was too late.

“Call me oppa or you’ll have to nap with me!” He demanded at the same time his huge body hugged me and pushed me down in the couch with him.

“I won’t call you , now let me go!” I fought desperately but his hold was strong.

“No.” He said between chuckles. The evil ones.

“Yah! Chanyeol, grow up, man, I said I don’t want to! YAH” But he wasn’t listening to me.

---------------------------------------------

10 minutes later, Chanyeol was dozing off with me between his arms. The couch wasn’t comfortable and definitely not big enough for two people but this time I didn’t care because the heavy breathing of Chanyeol against my neck and arms hugging me from the back were enough to make me feel in paradise.

I thought, contrary to me, he was already in dreamland so, when I heard his husky voice near my ear, I was taken a little bit by surprise.

“Abi…”

“Mmm?”

“Are you awake?”

“Yes, you’re the only one napping here, remember?” But my voice didn’t sound angry as I wanted to.

“I love you.”

What?

He laughed a little, still a little bit asleep. “You don’t have to say it back, I just wanted you to know.” He yawned and kept talking at a low pace, not hurrying his words. He wasn’t reciting a speech, he was simply speaking his mind out loud. “We know each other for a little bit longer than two months but it feels like we know each other since forever. I think I understand now when people say that two people are meant to be.”

I remained quiet. Not because I didn’t know what to say but because I wanted to save this moment forever in my heart. The memories you hold deeply in your heart, are the ones that last for an eternity.

Chanyeol didn’t say anything more; he didn’t hesitate later in his words or try to add more explanations. He was always so honest with me and that’s one of the things I was more thankful for. I’d heard many people calling him fake because he smiled at the airport to the fans even when he was clearly tired. They called him fake because most of his smiled to the camera where not true smiles. But they couldn’t see that he was doing it for the people who loved him, for those girls (and guys) that came early to wait for him to walk in front of them, for those who wish him the best every day. Putting on that fake smile was the only thing he could do to thank them and yes, I hoped as well he didn’t try to look happy all the time because that is not healthy. I hoped he had someone he could rely on at home, cry with or just simply share his feelings and thoughts.

I couldn’t ask for him to tell strangers how tired he is or how much he hates humanity in a certain moment or how sick he is of his lifestyle when those doubtful thoughts invaded his mind. I couldn’t ask him to do that because I was pretty much the same myself. When someone asked me how I was it didn’t matter if I was hating myself in that exact moment, or if I was sad, or if I was angry, or if I was confused, I always said “I’m fine” and put on my best smile.

Only with my closest friends I could open up without feeling guilty because I was worrying them and because I knew they truly cared for me, they weren’t just curious.

And Chanyeol was the same, he was human.

I took his hand and brought it to my lips. I kissed it, closing my eyes while resting my lips on his warm skin.

“I love you, too.”

He tightened his grip around me, pressing his lips against the back of my head.

“Would you be my girlfriend?” I heard him whisper, this time a bit nervous. I couldn’t help but laugh a little.

“Of course.” He laughed as well.

After a while I thought he was finally sleeping but, if he was, the irruption of Kai in the living room surely woke him up. This time he wasn’t alone.

“Yo, the lovey dovey couple. You would like to join us for a round of poker or something?”

“Why don’t you just tell them that you’re tired of losing against me?” The shorter guy added with a smirk. Kai just put an arm over the older’s shoulders.

“Because I don’t like to lie. Now, are you guys coming or should we join the sleepover instead?”

The y tanned boy was definitely getting comfortable with me now and I smiled at the thought.

“Anything to escape from this nap… And to beat your , Jongin-ah.” I said standing up and winking at him, his eyes almost as big as Kyungsoo’s. They quickly regained his normal size and a playful smile followed.

Chanyeol stood up reluctantly, helped by Kyungsoo. We were heading to the boys’ room when the front door was slammed open.

“PORORO!” Tao rushed to the living room, making himself comfortable in the blink of an eye.

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“How did we end up here again?” I asked whispering into Chanyeol’s ear.

The six of us were in the living room. Kai and Kyungsoo shared the smallest sofa while Kris, Tao, Chanyeol and me sat on the big one. I was squished between Tao and Chanyeol. The last one was discretely interviewing his fingers with mine under the blanket that covered the four of us.

“The fans think Jongin is fan of Pororo because he imitates Krong but what they don’t know is that it’s Tao who make us watch it every time he can.” Kyungsoo answer my question, that I probably asked louder than I thought, or maybe he was paying attention to everything but the animated animals in the screen.

“The Korean teacher said it would help him to get familiarized with the bases of the language.” Kris replied in Tao’s defense.

“That was years ago.” Chanyeol snapped back, avoiding a laugh. “And I don’t think talking like this is going to help, to be honest.” He said making his voice sound as high and ‘cute’ as possible, resulting in a pretty scary imitation of a baby whale dying. We all laughed in unison.

“Well, I think Tao’s Korean is really good for someone who has been learning it for such a short period time.” I said smiling at the Chinese boy by my side. His face brightened up and he hugged me unexpectedly. My smile grew wider.

“Yo, keep your hands to yourself.” Chanyeol pushed away the arms surrounding me.

Around 8pm, the rest of the crew was back with many bags of food they bought on the way home. To my regret, they had already taken the costumes and makeup off.

“I think I should go home.” I said while they set the dishes and took out the chicken from the bags placing it all on the table. There were not enough chairs and space for all twelve of them so they were accommodating a folding table next to the main one.

Luhan, who was busy with the glasses, gave me once of his easy smiles. I’ve been around him less than one hour but it was enough time to realize he didn’t like to hold his wrinkled eye-smiles. “But we bought enough food for 13 people!”

I opened up my mouth to protest and tell them twelve men were able to share one extra portion of chicken but, before I could, a pair of hands where pushing me by the shoulders.

“You’ll be sitting beside Chanyeol and Minseok-hyung.” I heard Chen’s soft voice said behind me. He stopped pushing me when we were next to a couple of chairs. He retrieved one of the chairs to give me some space to stand in front of it in order to sit down after. But when I was folding my knees to allow my body go down, Baekhyun’s voice stopped me.

“Yah! Do you know how dangerous that is?” He said looking at Chen and pointing at something behind me.

“And do you know how boring you are? I was going to catch her before she felt. I just wanted to scare her.” He stuck out his tongue at his fellow member and walked away laughing with one of the cutest laughs I’ve ever heard.

I looked down behind me to see that the singer had pulled the chair so I would have fallen to the ground when trying to sit down.

“Oi, that troll…” I heard Baekhyun said, placing himself at the back of the chair to push it forward so I could sit down.

But when I was doing so, I felt the chair being pulled away and I almost fell if it wasn’t because he grabbed my forearm with delicate fingers. I couldn’t help but scream in fear like a little girl, though.

All the witnesses of the incident erupted in laughter.

I’m surrounded by idiots.

While we ate, the guys kept telling funny stories and jokes. Everyone seemed to be having a good time. I was having fun as well, even if I wasn’t talking much. In those kind of situations (and in pretty much every situation) I was socially awkward. I was surrounded by twelve handsome men with never ending topics of discussion and I couldn’t do anything but listen to them and laugh with the others. They asked me things from time to time and offered me more food when there was nothing else in my plate. It was an amazing dinner and I wished to be able to get to know them better, to be part of the active conversation one day.

But of course, all the good things have to come to an end and mine was a little bit harsher than I would have liked it to be. When we were almost done, the front door opened. One of the managers, the one who went to pick me up once, came inside.

“Hey, guys, did one of you took by accident my- What is she doing here?” He asked abruptly looking at me with a serious face before directing his gaze to Chanyeol. The guy sitting next to me just gulped loudly. “I thought you’d taken care of this... matter long time ago, Chanyeol.” He looked at me for a few seconds and finally sighed. “Take her home, we’ll talk later.”

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We were already in the middle of the way to my apartment and none of us had spoken since we left the dorms. We were in the back seat of a cab and Chanyeol had his arm over my shoulders.

Chanyeol’s deep voice was the first one to break the silence.

“Please don’t worry about what happened. I’m going to solve this.”

“He didn’t know there is… something… between us?” I asked calmly. I should be mad, mad at Chanyeol for not telling me he was going against his manager, mad at me for being so naïve and think things were going to be so easy, mad at the manager for kicking me out, mad at the world because now my future with the person that made me the happiest was in danger. But Chanyeol’s arm around me, Chanyeol’s voice, Chanyeol’s reassuring words, Chanyeol and only Chanyeol could make me feel everything was going to be alright.

“No, I need to tell you the truth.” He didn’t mean it, but those words hurt more than what they should. He let out a heavy sigh and started with his explanation. “That time when I when to your house at night and when we went together to the car wash, the manager was willing to take me there because I told him I was going to stop seeing you but first I needed to talk to you. It was the correct thing to do. You see, we are not allowed to date. Fans wouldn’t like that. I like to believe it’s just some of them who don’t want us to be truly happy, though. Anyways, I was going to end things with you that time, but then I saw you. And there was chaos inside my mind. I wanted to be with you. I don’t know why, I just wanted to spend time with you and talk to you and kiss you and make you smile and see you happy and… and… I was going to do exactly the opposite thing.”

Chanyeol was spitting words too fast, like he couldn’t remain as composed as he usually tries to be when speaking, he was panicking and the only thing I could do was press a kiss on his cheek and caress his collarbones to calm him down.

“I couldn’t do it, Abi. For me and for you, I just couldn’t. And some of the members, most of them, where ok with it. I was happy and they were happy but it’s not safe to have a girlfriend when our group debuted not so long ago. But at the end they all agreed I should take you to the dorms so they could at least get to know you. The manager wasn’t supposed to see you today. But I will talk to him. He’s not mean; he’s just doing his job. I will talk to Lee Soo Man if it’s necessary.”

“Don’t, Chanyeol, don’t. I… I don’t know what to think, to be honest. Try not to be scolded by your manager too much for now and… we’ll figure out the rest later.” I was confused about everything. I didn’t know things were so strict for idols. I wanted Chanyeol to be happy as well, he didn’t deserve to be punished because of me. But I didn’t want to let him go either. I had so many things in my mind at the moment I couldn’t bring myself to say much.

What started today like the best of dreams, ended up like a nightmare.

The cab stopped in front of my building and I got off of the car. Chanyeol called my name and followed after me. As soon as he stepped out he hugged me tight. I buried my face in the interception of his next and shoulder, hiding my desire to cry. He was holding to me so desperately, like it was the last time we were going to see each other, I had no other choice than to hug him the same way. But there were people waiting for him to return so eventually we were forced to break the contact. The cold air hit me when he pulled away and went back inside the taxi. My heart sank. I turned around before the car drove away, I couldn’t see him leave. Maybe we were exaggerating, I hoped we were.

I started walking with my head low, trying to recompose myself. You have to think positive, Abi. Then, I felt movement ahead of me and when I lifted my eyes I saw people standing in front of the door. They had been there the whole time, I guessed. Kevin, Ai and Min Young were looking at me, each one with a different expression in their face.

“Well, it’s nice to see how sick you are. We thought, since you couldn’t go to the party, we should bring the party to you. But I guess it was not necessary after all.” Kevin was the one to speak first. Just then, I noticed the piñata in his hands. It had the shape of Pluto, they knew me so well. Guilt was eating me alive.

“Wa-was that EXO’s Park Chanyeol?!” Ai screamed with a high pitch. At least, she seemed more excited than angry.

“Wow, nice postman, huh?” Ming Young said bitterly, walking past me. She shoved me away using her shoulder. I turned around to grab her wrist but she freed herself violently and looked right into my eyes. “ you.”

The other two followed her, giving me one last concerned look before turning around.

“I’ll call the others to tell them not to come.” I heard Kevin saying before they were too far away.

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Hi!! I'm back haha university started a week ago but I had some free time today so here you go :D

Thank you for waiting an eternity for me, I know how annoying that is but I can't help it. You're the best!

Leave a comment if your want because they make me very very happy hahaha and have a great Sunday <3

Val

ps. the title comes from a Mika song ;)

HEY GUYS  sorry I'm letting you know this so late but I won't be updating the story until the second half of the summer.

I've busy with uni lately (it's more tiring than I thought u____u) and now I'll be going home (after 2 years away from my family and friends!) for the holidays so I don't think I will be able to update. BUT I am going to try my best and motivate myself to update in july or something.

Thank you to the person who wrote on my wall asking me about the fic lol I've forgotten about telling you guys I won't left this fanfic ufinished (even if I finish it when I'm 52 year old)

I AM SO SO SORRY I AM AN IRRESPONSIBLE """WRITER""" 

<3